Ask Dr. Ann

Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Ann Wexler here. I’m really excited to be contributing here on ediTORIal, and wanted to thank you all for submitting questions to my “Ask Dr. Ann” series. While it was difficult to narrow down all of your questions, I noticed that a lot of you are experiencing similar situations. So, I’d like to start the “Ask Dr. Ann” series with a question that an ediTORIal reader sent me that I actually get all of the time… And in addition to answering your questions, I’ll also be sharing my best tips & tricks pertaining to relationships and parenting. Here is the first question:

From: Too tired and Busy

Question: I have three kids, 4 and under. I work full time as a teacher. I try to find time to workout five times a week. I have little interest in or time for sex. I know I need to find time/ energy for my husband, but how?

Dear Too Tired and Busy,

Sex and intimacy are essential parts of a healthy relationship. When you are as busy as you clearly are, it is extremely hard to find time to “get in the mood.” However, what you will notice is that the longer you go without sex, the more disconnected you and your husband will become.

You wrote that you needed to find time for your husband. If you think of intimacy as only for your husband, no wonder you don’t have interest in sex. It is important for you to ask yourself why you view sex as something for him and not for both of you.

Often, lack of interest in sex can be due to emotional or psychological issues in a marriage. You are finding time to exercise a lot, but not finding time for sex. Take a deeper look inside and see if something is feeling bad about your relationship. If it is, it is time to address it with him. If it isn’t, it is time to be intimate with him–for the sake of the relationship.

5 TIPS ON CREATING AND MAINTAINING A GOOD SEX LIFE AFTER KIDS:

  1. No matter how busy you are, try not to go more than 2 weeks without sex.
  2. Touch each other throughout the week–affection goes a long way.
  3. Kiss hello and goodbye when you leave and reunite.
  4. Send each other sexy texts.
  5. Have a regular date night where you don’t talk about the kids.

Do you have any tips to add to the list? And what did you think of last week’s episode of True Tori?

– Dr. Ann Wexler

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