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True Tori: Your Feedback

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Watching last night’s episode of True Tori was emotional for me. The feelings are still very raw, but it was important for me to tell my story.

I received lots of Facebook messages, tweets and texts from family, friends and fans with words of support, and stories of overcoming difficult times. Lots of you let me know that you’ve been through similar experiences, and hearing how you got through those tough times gave me hope.

So I would love to open up the blog to comments, where we can all talk about the difficult times in our lives. If you have any words of wisdom or lessons that you learned going through a rough experience, I’d love to hear about them.

Thank you for your love and support. I’m so grateful for all of you.

Love,
T

 

  • Amanda

    I love anything to do with Tori

  • Shaye Lynn Finch

    I have always been a big fan. Tori &Dean was one of my favorite shows. I thought last night’s episode of True Tori was very sad and honestly kind of hard to watch. I felt so bad watching you talk to Dean and i completely understand all of the feelings that you expressed! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

  • Jill Mckelvey

    Watched and cryed, I really feel
    Like u guys will make it, your kids are adorable I will pray for u, stay strong! God bless you!

  • Gia

    Love your courage and honesty..unlike Lindsey… I really felt this show was from your heart.

  • issalambert

    It was very hard watching your pain on your show as well as reading people’s negative comments. We are around the same age and I have three children of my own. Being a mom and balancing everything is TOUGH..even when your relationship is rock solid! I can’t imagine the pressures and stresses that you are feeling. Take each day as it comes and make decisions from your mind and heart without consideration to what everyone will do or say. It’s YOUR life, not theirs! I hope that Dean will change and become the man that you truly deserve. Sending positive vibes and hugs to you and your sweet children. XOXO ~Melissa

  • Lisa Wilson

    My heart was breaking for you as I watched last night. You are doing an awesome job taking care of your four children alone. I’ve watched all of your reality shows and enjoyed them and watching how cute you and Dean were with each other. There is no faking that kind of love. I pray everything works out the way you want.

  • Cindy

    My heart hurt watching last night. You are so strong and I hate seeing some of the comments people are making online about the show. As women, we do so often have to just bury what is happening to care for everything else. I just hope you’re ok and be sure to take time for you. I’m your same age and for years through your books and shows, I’ve related to everything you deal with as a working gal and a woman. I wish I could conquer communicating as well as you have. I really suck at that with my spouse. Hang in there and be sure to put what’s best for you on one of your priority lists. I don’t know what will happen with Dean, but good fathers don’t always make good husbands. Just remember that in case you have to make the ultimate decision about your future. You deserve the best! In the end though, I hope he can find the healing he needs…

  • Jenn

    Loved it! Your such a strong woman. Thanks so much for sharing your story, I can’t wait until next week! Xo

  • Lynn

    I too was betrayed. I had just given birth to our third baby, a little girl. I could never heal from the pain that his betrayal caused me. When he chose to betray us and our relationship something for me died that day in the relationship. The one thing that made our relationship so special and sacred was gone. I could never look at him the same way again. I always would say to myself I cannot trust him. For him to know the pain he would cause me and the sacrifice of his children and family he was willing to make for her. I was unable to ever forget or truly forgive. Tori, you need to do what is right for you. I just want to let you know that I am a single mommy of six and its OK. You can do this without Dean and leaving him if that is what you chose would allow you to find someone who will truly treasure you and love you as you should be loved. You are beautiful and so very special.

  • Jessica Alice

    my heart is so broken for you. In the photo montages you can see how deeply you love him.

  • Kayla Polkinghorne

    You’re doing an amazing job raising your four beautiful children alone. It’s great you are allowing us inside your private life to put all the negativity from tabloids to a rest and sharing YOUR story. I’ve never been in this situation except my engagement being called off and that was a lesson I learned. I kept going even though I felt likey world was falling apart, but I had supprt from all my family and friends. I also stayed busy but time to time I broke down, which is okay but staying strong is the best. Keep your support system around you, I kow you will get through this. We are all supporting you and your family is in my prayers.

  • Tracy Bynum

    I found you honest, clear, believable, and like so many others, my heart broke for you. I’ve been in that situation and it SUCKS, no matter if you’re in the spotlight or not. It’s harder with pap cameras focused on you, for sure. Whatever happens with you and Dean, this too shall pass. I promise. Focus on you and the kiddos. They need you now more than ever.

  • Logan

    You have been through so much and I love how you have put yourself out there this serious will be good for you to look back on and hopefully you’ll be able to see how clear it is that Dean is being completely insincere every time he apologizes or says anything negative about himself. He is still self absorbed and hasn’t changed. His face says it all and I hope you see that too

    • Peggy Lynch

      I hated that during the councilling session w tori n mediator he said they had sex every2 wks. he keeps a score card . married love is not firecrackersetc. it matures into something special. grow up deano

      • Hope

        Hi Peggy! Where did you see that? I totally missed that creepy part.

        • Ellen Thompson

          Yes he said once every 2 weeks.

  • Tara

    Loved it.. I’m so sorry for you and your family’s pain.. Your a strong women I will pray for your healing and to overcome this rough patch .

  • Kat233

    I’ve always wanted your fairy tale to be true and last forever. When it came out that Dean cheated It made me go crazy on my husband. If Dean would cheat on Tori, surly it wouldn’t be hard for you to cheat at well. You are a huge inspiration to so many people I hope that there is enough concrete to hold your marriage together. I was married to an abusive man that cheated and got someone pregnant. That was easy to walk away from…your situation has more of a loving foundation to rebuild on. Love you T!!!

  • http://thriftistamomma.blogspot.com Marli Vincent

    I cried a lot watching your show. Not because I’ve been through anything similar, but because I’ve always related to your relationship and your motherhood. My husband and I got married right around the same time you did and I have 4 kiddos right around the same age. My husband deployed in 2012 and I know all too well what it’s like to have to get the kids off to school in time in the morning. It’s no easy feet. The only advice I can give is to follow your heart. Your heart is stronger than your head and you can rationalize your thoughts, where you can’t your heart. Only you know what needs to be done for your happiness.
    I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.

  • Traci

    No opinion, advice, or judgement. Just wanted to say that you seem like an AWESOME mom.

  • Debbie Pickett

    Its so hard to comment about the pain and hurt Tori. I sincerely hope that you both take in consideration how this will effect your family as a whole. Just stay true to yourself follow your heart and most important nothing can be solved without the guidance of God in your home and heart!!

  • Samantha Boehmer

    Tori,
    You are incredibly strong. It was hard to see you so vunerable. I always thought you had great self esteem. It was hard to see Dean who I never thought could do this to his amazing wife. I think peraonally you and Dean need to work on things together. Regardless of it means staying together or seperating. I feel like you would be miserablewithout Dean, He is your soulmate. The one who gave you 4 amazing children. At the same time you are going to eat yourself up with trust issues. I would never be able to overcome those issues. Keep you head high and continue to build your empire! I have been a fan for as long as I can remember!!

  • steph

    Tori – I just finished watching episode one. I so completely get your feelings towards Dean, and how you think some of your feelings are wrong or judged. Please know that there are other women out there, married to deeply flawed, yet good, men, who in their gut know that this man is the love of her life, despite other people suggesting otherwise. Reconciling his actions, his hurts, his misdeeds with the person you know to your core is someone that you are supposed to be with is a difficult, difficult thing to do. And knowing that deep down, this flawed man is a good, good soul who at the end of the day wants nothing more than to be good to you and your kids. It’s HARD trying to live with and accept what he has done and being able to forgive and, perhaps, most challenging of all is to be happy moving forward. I completely get where you are coming from as a mom. When I have been hurt or disappointed by my husband, what keeps me moving forward is my commitment to my kids. In those times, I’m not exactly the perfect mom, but I’m mom, and more often than not, that’s just fine.

  • Jessica Carney

    Watching this was very sad. I shed some tears for you as I know what it’s like raising babies and depending on my husband for love, support, and help…it makes me sad that you don’t have that right now and I hope you will again soon.

  • Nicole

    I know the pain I have been there. It’s nice to know It can happen to anyone. Every emotion you felt/ feel is so relatable. Watching you is some what therapeutic to me. It shows that all the feelings I have are normal. You inspire me . Keep being a great mom and telling your story.

  • Laura

    Emotional and raw… and I commend you both for facing this so openly and head on. People have commented that your kids may one day see this… but, they’ll see it anyway… at least this is coming straight from you. You’ve endured so much from the media that NO ONE deserves. You’ve had no choice but to live a public life from Day 1. I can only hope that people might now see that you are, in fact, just a human being who feels the same anguish and emotions that the rest of us do. I also understand (to an extent and more personally than I’m willing to discuss here) aspects of what Dean is going through. It’s a difficult fight that is painful to him as well. I truly believe you two have that once in a lifetime love that can get fight through this. While things may never be the same again, you have to believe in one another to find that place in your lives when you can be happy together once again. You have my support!

  • Heather

    I’m not afraid to say it. I would never put my children through that publicly on a television show. That is out there forever now and not only do they have to put up with the turmoil of what’s happening to their parents but they will have to put up with being ridiculed by other kids. If you think making a show about your husband cheating on you and your sex life will not affect your kids in a negative way then I guess you will find out sooner or later. Some things should be kept and dealt with privately. You need to worry about how all of this will affect your kids in the long run.

    • Laura

      Someone made a good point to me in respect to that… it’s going to twisted and “put out there” by the media anyway. The kids will see the media’s version of it anyway. So, isn’t it better to do it on her terms? She’s never been given the chance to have a private life… Hollywood won’t allow her to have a private life. And the media certainly has no qualms about spinning every story about her. I think she’s in a really tough situation and either side of the coin has a fallout. She’s just choosing to do it on her terms with the facts. I can’t fault her for that.

      • Sandy Haslam Gerig

        Right on, Laura! My sentiment exactly!

        • Brandy Davis

          Ridiculous! You know Tori wrote an open letter to star in this very site explaining the pain and anxiety her child felt when he saw lies posted in the front page of their mag in a grocery store. It hurt him! And she told him it was untrue! She could have done the same in this situation.. If I saw pain in my kids face when he saw rumors, I certainly would think twice before making the truth public in a situation like this.

          Tori setting the record straight is for your benefit.. Her benefit with the public.. Not her kids! Tori admitted in her book that she’s lied to the public many times… So, lying isn’t a moral dilemma for her..
          How in the world can she possibly tell her children that this story isn’t true when she’s confirmed it herself. It will follow her kids for years to come.. She should have told her children it isn’t true, like she did the last time. Read the letter she wrote to star magazine.. Her son was anxious, crying, and scared! The rumor!? The same thing she is getting paid to make public now. I’m sorry, but what we think of her marriage isn’t more important than protecting her children from a truth that will cause emotional scars.

          • colleen

            Thank you Brandy!!!! She could “give a rats ass” about her children. If she did she would not exploit them or her marriage! Sellinbg out her children for money..like her Dad did to her!

          • Tauren Stiles

            It’s not the truth. She’s making this all up for TV. Fabricated, scripted, BS for ratings, “reality”. None of it is true.

      • Katy

        I agree. She clearly explained this in the opener, too.

        • jo

          Why does she have to apologize to us?? That’s twisted, she and Dean are getting big $ for this and the kids weren’t even considered, Money talks in Hollywierd.

          • colleen

            Love you views Jo!!!

      • Stella Ortiz-Colon

        Wtg

      • Kim Katnik

        Agree with Laura. ..nicely said.

      • Kayte

        I totally agree why not put the truth out instead of the lies the media create!

        • jo

          Media got it right on.. Like Kim K sex tape , it’s already out there lets make some money off it!!

      • Sandra M. Smith

        I couldn’t agree more. Tori is putting the truth out there for her children to see & better understand in the future. Kids always find out regardless. Secrets in a family aren’t healthy either. Given Tori’s life, paparazzi will embellish this story. These are kids who are loved & cherished beyond all else. That loving support & the truth will help them to adjust. She’s not giving Dean a black-eye in any of this, what she’s showing with great courage is her own pain.

      • Laura

        I couldn’t agree more Laura! Secrets are not good for the children, lies in the media are not good for them either. The way that Tori has chosen to bring the truth out is going to show her children how strong a woman and mother she is. I have nothing but admiration for her and the way she is handling a very difficult situation. I have been through a similar situation and the way we handle ourselves and our feelings teach your children that you are a human being.

      • jo

        No, She got a good pay day and so did the douche bag

      • Brandy Davis

        No.. Tori could have told her children that the rumors aren’t true, like she has in the past.. But doing this show has confirmed the rumors. Why? Her children need this why? Like I said above, children find security in thinking their parents are all knowing, perfect people. They feel safe with their parents because they truly believe their parents are super heroes. Why would any parent take that away from young children?

        All this proves, and your comment suggest – Tori cares more about setting the record straight with strangers – us! Than how this will affect her children for years to come. If ever there is a time to lie, it’s when you need to protect your kids from the evil in the world. When you, or adults around you say, I sure wish life was simple, like it was when I was a child.. What made life simple when you were a child? You didn’t know how horrible people could be. That’s what made it simple. You were naive to the pain people would intentional cause others. Parents shouldn’t steal that innocence from their children. Let them life worry and fear free for as long as possible.

        • Sightation

          Wrong. I knew my parents were incompetent from a very early age. Secrets make ppl sick. She should tell her kids (age appropriately), that mom & dad r having a rough patch but r working on it. They know it already emotionally! Why cont. this deception that will only result in them not trusting their own feelings. They will only learn to doubt their intuition and they r already suffering enough.

        • Joyce

          Maturing means that you realize that not anyone is perfect including parents. We all make our mistakes in life and hopefully we learn from them.

      • BelleofAmherst

        No it won’t. Tori and Dean pay the media to cover their personal lives. Do you think she ends up on those tabloid covers by accident? Ha.

        • Jo

          In the public celebrity lifestyle any publicity is good publicity , it’s when they fade and no longer hold the front page of the Rags is when they worry, has nothing to do with the toddlers seeing magazine covers in the check out line..

      • Jan

        Having a story in a trashy mag to explain is alot different than your own parents discussing that they don’t have sex enough. Good grief. I don’t see any other “stars” putting their trash on the curb because they got accused of an affair. You talk to your children directly, not the whole country. It’s terrible, I saw the first episode, I will not watch the train wreck!!

      • Lisa

        Teaching your children about the validity of the media is a more valuable lesson than publicly depicting your life on national television. This teaches her children to be obsessed with what others think about them and not to be proud of who they are. It’s vile.

      • Laura Zavorka-Wellner

        I agree they will find out and im sure they have already heard stuff for the reason they have always been in the public eye.. she wanted the world to know the TRUE story not the medias story. I love you Tori and I support you and your show!

    • Lynnie

      Sorry for your pain you family is going through Tori. But rethink it Heather, she is a public figure if only Tori had the same “in private” lives we take for granted maybe just maybe she’d of kept it there. Anyways I think anything is possible to heal if the love is there but it will not be easy. Praying for you

      • Kayte

        You said it nicely! Hang in there Tori praying for ya.

    • Stella Ortiz-Colon

      You’re an idiot. Nobody cares about you or your family therefore there is no need for you to try to set the record straight. BBB keep your hateful comments to spineless Bitch.

      • Anita

        Stella Ortiz colon u r the idiot. Didn’t your mother teach u if u can’t say something nice keep your mouth CLOSED

        • Stella Ortiz-Colon

          I’m sorry Anita were you referring to the idiot who’s ignorant comment I posted a reply on… Keep hiding behind the shadow profile and learn who the mean girl really is… My advice to you… Scroll up! My mother taught me to stand up for others when people are being bullied. She’s a lovely boring lady with nothing better to do.

          • colleen

            Stella got her grove back…..put that on your Facebook page!!! Big Brother Stella!

          • Stella Ortiz-Colon

            Because I’ve never heard that before! Lmao. Real original Coleen… Good thing this Stella never lost her groove. I have no problem putting myself out there… Like I said… Keep hiding behind your shadow profile with your lame responses. I find them quite comical. In case you haven’t figured it out and I haven’t said it enough YOU don’t matter. Note go back to what you do best and make your kids some lunch… Hopefully they aren’t add hateful and judgmental as their mother.

          • Hope

            LOL Stella! I’m glad you said something b/c I didn’t notice that you were responding to Heather, either! I thought, gosh what did Tori do to you? ;D

    • Sandra M. Smith

      You have no idea what Tori’s life in a fishbowl is like. Her children see the tabloids at the grocery store. They know what has happened. I’m sure they have had family counseling and they abide in love. Dean & Tori both love the kids so much. Instead of keeping secrets inside a family an open and honest approach is best. If this marriage fails at least the kids will know that every effort was made and that it had nothing to do with them. Kudos to Tori for helping to guide her kids thru a paparazzi party to a safe landing.

      • BelleofAmherst

        She should stop calling the tabloids and telling her where she will be that day, then. I guess you don’t understand how the industry works?

        • Sandra M. Smith

          Thank you for pointing out my apparent ignorance. Tori didn’t call the tabloids and tell them about the woman in Toronto. The tramp in Toronto is the one who had the one night stand and then sold the story.

          • BelleofAmherst

            Okay, so you don’t know how the industry works. It’s not an accusation, by the way–just a fact. You don’t seem to understand the mutually beneficial relationship between “celebrities” and tabloid media.

          • Louise

            I don’t know Tori, but she should be treated as a friend, a sister, a daughter because it’s only humane to feel for someone who is clearly suffering no matter what the past and present may be. It’s something money can’t buy and I pray her mother is protecting her daughter in time of need, I know my mother would. I have one child and I don’t think with my work load I could keep up with four children, so I believe GOD gives you what you can handle. I’m educated, have morals, and I don’t care about wealth or power, it’s just not me. I feel any career we do there is no price tag on the amount we get paid only that we are happy even if it kills us to get the job done. I have been with my husband since I was 21, going on 28 years and either one of us have cheated. I married my best friend and we had difficult times and blown out fights but we never gave up on each other and the years certainly got better because of dedication, compromise and respect. My only child is my world and I would like most mother’s give my life for her. I do know that I would never forgive or tolerate cheating, I rather be alone and I am worth more then that even if it meant keeping my family together. I also feel once you stand up for yourself and show people you’re not going to lower yourself to their level you are respected and you won’t be treated like a doormat. I also feel if anyone doesn’t have your best interest you simply walk away let them think they won, its over. If we want change we have to change. As for Tori, I feel so bad watching and reading what she is going through and I pray they she finds the peace that she needs and the strength to get past a very difficult time. If you live your life for you and not caring about judgment with appreciating the little things then you live life with your head up high!

        • jo

          She is actually a d lister this cheating thing put her back out there for the new pilot TV show she is staring in, don’t you get it??? That marriage was over a long time ago. this stuff is filmed months and months in advance..

        • Ellen Thompson

          Agreed.

    • jo

      Look how they both made a living while they’ve been married mostly tell all books and reality Tv , does this shock ya..?

    • jo

      It’s a really bad idea to keep bringing kids into a horrible marriage, I believe that’s what Tori did , my daughter did the same thing husband always the cheater and always apologizing , she now has four kids and is divorced

  • Jennifer Mathieu Henshall

    You are a true inspiration, Tori. After all you’ve been through, you are handling everything with such grace and poise. Thank you for being so real and for allowing your fans (as well as the rest of the world) the opportunity to experience such a raw and intimate side of your life. It was so humbling to see that those in the public eye are just as susceptible to life’s challenges as those who are not celebrities. I wish you nothing but peace and tranquility as you strive to find your smile again. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way…

  • vhmarshall

    It was hard watching, I cried. You are a strong women. I look up to you as a mother as a person.

  • Jodi

    I found it to be real. I’ve been cheated on and it is the worst feeling in the world. I asked myself over and over again what I had done wrong. But, the truth is, I didn’t do anything wrong. His cheating was on him. The only thing that truly helped me to get through it was my own therapy. It helped me get in touch with ALL of the things I was feeling and how to express them. I wish you all of the luck in the world. You WILL survive this.

  • b

    It was hard seeing you go thru that and with having 4 kids all you can do tori is keep your head up take time for yourself so that you can be strong for yourself and kids and follow your heart not your head what is your heart saying to you?

  • Robyn Gogue

    Sending you love and support!!! I hope that through all of this you know it’s okay to be hurt and upset. You have an amazing set of friends who are your rock and I hope that you get to lean on them. Having been through a similar situation, you are so strong for showing your fans what you are doing- I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like having to explain my thoughts.

    Xoxo

  • kimberlee

    My heart breaks for you. As difficult as this period of your life is at the moment, I can only hope that somehow you come out stronger than you were in December. I wish you the best and just know you are human and mistakes in life are allowed. Whatever you decide for your family, it has to be your decision. It’s your life and only you can live it. My very best wishes for you and your family.

  • Beth

    I loved watching your new show! My daughter and I really enjoyed it and were able to tell each other what we would do if we were in some of the situations that you face. You are a great mother!

  • Lucina Victoria

    It’s sad to see you so broken but I hope that everything turns out good for you no matter if you stay with Dean or separated. Take good care first of yourself and then of your children because that is the most important. I will always love & support you no matter how your choices will be. Thank you for telling us the true story! From your fan in Germany.

  • kychic

    It was hard to watch but i do understand that is better for you to put it out there then have every mag. and tv show put there spin on it …. I hope that you and DEAN stay togather but if not then I hope that this is the start of your healing the show mite just help others dealing with what you are dealing with GOD BLESS and stay strong

  • Darlene R. Method

    Sweetie, cut ties and run. Trust me, you will look back and say why did I put up with him for that long? Your kids are going to grow up and see this and say the same thing. You want your kids to respect you. Keeping that jerk will not help you. Ask your Mom for help. Go move in with her till you have your bearings. Dean was looking for a payout anyway! He will ALWAYS cheat!!!! It does not matter who he is with! He will do it to them….

    • Vicky Burr Southard

      MAYBE NOT!

  • Danigirl1272

    I felt it was a very powerful episode, I was in your shoes at one time so I commend you for putting yourself out there and allowing so many people to watch. It was very hard for my husband and I to sit and watch because it brought out what we had gone through yrs ago but i’m glad we did watch it. You have a lot of people pulling for you guys Tori but ultimately only you know what you really want. Listen to your heart it’s what I did and i’m glad.

  • ktray

    I could feel your pain through the tv. Watching you get the kids ready in the morning overwhelmed me just to watch. I have 2 kids and their dad works out of town alot. I call my time alone with them survival mode. It’s hard but you are doing what you need to. Take time for yourself. Let others help. No one knows your life. Do what right for you.

  • Tmedi34

    Hi tori. I also went through similar situation and my kids are the same age as yours. It was tough. We went to counseling we were separated for a year. He went away for a while. Just like u said last night I wanted to be heard and understood. Until I was sure I was not able to move on. We became an open book for each other. Whatever it took. If I had to pick up his phone and look. If I had to track him I did it and he knew about it. No passwords I didn’t know. After a while u stop looking and u don’t want to anymore. It’s been 4 years and we are still together. We talk more he listens more. Don’t worry about what other people say or do. Follow your heart and your gut instinct. Everything will be ok even if that means to be on ur own…you have your dad watching over you xoxo. Believe it or not there is a lesson in this for you. The harder it seems the bigger the lesson. Maybe it’s to stand up and feel the power of knowing you can do things on ur own. I gotta say it’s a great feeling. Good luck and I’m sending reiki love and healing your way xoxo

  • Marie

    I added Lifetime to our tv package just to watch True Tori last night! As I sat and watched I was amazed by your courage to share such a difficult journey. You are an inspiration. I hope your heart heals and it’s filled with the love that you deserve! ❤️

  • Donna

    My heart truly broke for you! But the one thing that I picked up on is that you are still in love with your husband. Though you may think that you will never trust again, you dont really know. Follow your heart and dont listen to your friends. Honestly if your friends are telling you what you should or shouldnt do instead of listening and having your back then they arent really friends. I mean no disrespect but that one girl (name escapes me) shouldnt tell you to get rid of him if that not what your heart is telling you. She does however have the right to be madder than hell at him for doing what he did to you. I just hope that Dean truly realizes what he did and you need to let him see how badly he has hurt you!!!

  • Karla

    Last night’s episode of True Tori was heartbreaking and painful to watch. My heart was literally racing while I listened to you tell the story of your betrayal. I am a huge fan of yours. I actually consider you to be one of my role models, someone who I look up to, because of the passion you have for your marriage, your children, and your career. No one can tell you what path to take or what your next step should be, you have to figure that out on your own. You are a smart and powerful woman. You will make it through this hard time. You will continue to be a role model for many people. You will have a happy ending. You are an inspiration and you are stronger than you may think. Keep being amazing, Tori. I’m rooting for you.

  • Tiffani N

    When my husband and I got married 10 years ago, the first year was by far the hardest. I poured my heart into our marriage as I was very much in love and on cloud 9 that we got married. Within a few months things changed. In the pit of my stomach I knew he was cheating. It happened a few times and over the course of a few months I was just completely broken. We separated and I moved back home, got a job and focused on myself. I take marriage very seriously. It is a vow taken under God. A promise that through the good and bad you will each be there. I think a lot of people just don’t look at it like that anymore. I am in no way saying it’s OK, because it’s not, but Everything can be worked through. We were separated for 3 months, he came to my mother’s house one day and we talked. I’m not going to lie it was very difficult. For the next two years I was always paranoid, but he respected all my feelings. He knew that me calling 10 times or questioning him was normal. He proved himself to me and once I got pregnant I knew from that moment on it was to stay in the past. I have moments when I look at him and just want to slap him, but our marriage is stronger than ever. These hard times and struggles that are thrown in a perfectly happy mix, build us up to be stronger individuals. Our bond can never be broken, there will very hiccups, but try to remember why you married him, why you love him and why he’s the father of your 4 beautiful children. Stay strong mama!

  • Allison

    Thank you for opening up and sharing this hard time in your life. I have always enjoyed watching your shows and reading your books. When I heard what had happened to you, I was devastated. I wanted to know what was going on, but I found myself struggling to read the tabloids. I was hoping someday you would write a book, and I would learn the truth then. When I heard of the show, I was floored. I am so glad that you are doing something so courageous. Opening your life up and sharing this personal struggle takes ALOT of strength. Now I know the real sTORI and I am seeing it through your eyes. You are an amazing person! Follow your heart and do what feels right for you and your family….I know you will.

    xoxo~ your biggest fan,
    Allison

  • jordan

    I absolutely loved the show last night. I admire you for being forthcoming with your feelings. You were honest, raw, and genuine. It was a very powerful and relate-able episode. Anyone who has been in a similar situation recognizes the same emotions and experiences you are going through. Kudos to you for putting kids first. Don’t forget you matter and are important too!

  • NashvegasMama

    My heart truly sank when I saw your morning routine. Every mother has been there and can completely relate to just trying to get out the door! We are the same age and I have 3 children. I solo parent often (husband has a very demanding job) and it is extremely difficult. I cannot imagine dealing with your situation and handling 4 kids with crazy people trying to take your photo constantly AND a broken heart. Speak your truth, let it be heard. Pulling for you in Nashville…

    • colleen

      Not all attention is good attention Tori. I feel sorry for you in a sad pathetic way. You are the first to show betrayal on tv reality but sadly as a early childhood educator I find it horrific that you would subject your children to this pitiful scene. You talked about the headmaster of the kids school…..maybe if her hands were not being buttered v with big money she would have told you your a bad mother putting your kids on a show about the dad cheating with some bimbo from Canada,,,what example is Dean showing Liam??????????? The show pushes my buttons while I prepare my kids lunches for the the morning

      • Amanda

        But you still sat and watched.

        • colleen

          Hell Ya I watched its reality tv and it takes me away from my plain jane boring life in NY ..ps It is a cycle her mom didn’t tell her don’t get on tv and air your dirty laundry?? Come on her kids will be the next Lindsay Lohans of society

          • Kat233

            It must be nice being perfect Colleen!

          • colleen

            easy breezy

          • Mac

            Nice to know Colleen that your life as an early childhood educator is plain and boring…your negative attitude towards your job and in general is sad. Her kids will know one way or the other what has gone on and I’m not saying I agree 100% with the thought of putting such personal topics out there but we do not know what it is like to have the story twisted and facts distorted of our lives and then advertised on the cover of magazines..so we can’t judge her for trying to set the record straight in her own way. I would be more worried about the kids you educate since your job is so plain and boring!

          • colleen

            Very Plain Jane ……lol since I am actually responding to these posts I must be out of my mind…..”GO TORI great “Brand” Wonder what celebrity will film a cheating husband next????? Ladies lets all hope and pray our men are not traveling alone to Canada and meeting any Emily’s today

          • H.B.

            Seriously Ladies!!! You guys are getting waay off topic…. Where the heck is your human compassion? Women Supporting other Women? Let’s break the mold guys & think out of the box for a moment., shall we. Tori is a freaking Human Being, no matter where she came from or the fact that she’s a celebrity- SHE’S STILL A PERSON WITH REAL FEELINGS!! Please educate yourselves on the heartache she had to endure growing up, regardless that her family had money- she appears to be very down to earth & straight forward… She’s telling her story “her” way…….so Rag Mags DON’T print half truths & right out LIES- this Girl is the mother of FOUR CHILDREN- I only have one Child & it’s hard enough…… I honestly don’t know how she does “it all.”. Kudos to You & Dean, Tori, for your bravery, Honesty & attempting to educate, when faced with one of the biggest hurt & betrayals of your life. God Bless

          • H.B.

            & Haters need not Respond!

          • sharonpalmer

            Thank You H.B.! Good grief! I, too, was wondering what happened to human compassion and empathy. “Let he is who is without sin cast the first stone!” Come on, now. Let’s be human. Or humane, Preferably both…

            Tori is in a VERY fragile state at the moment. Do none of you haters CARE that you could help push her over the edge? There are names for that, and most are in the DSM. Tori is making the best decisions she can. When your world is being ripped to shreds, how clear is YOUR mind? Hmm?! Give Tori a BREAK! (Yes, Colleen; I have her back too. Shovel it on me. See if I care. I’m a psychologist; let’s swap “Trash of the Trade!”) (Umm — sarcasm. I’m not sullying this site any further than it is already has been.)

            Now… Tori, I hope you make it to this post. I mentioned on another page that you and I have somewhat parallel lives. In many areas. My second husband cheated on me. We didn’t have a happy ending; he was diagnosed with cancer soon after, and didn’t win that fight. My mother and I have a relationship that reminds me of you and your mother’s… She and I had been incommunicado for ten years, and I asked for a reconciliation a little over a year ago. That ended — in a very ugly manner — last month. I’m still reeling from that mess. I was unable to have children, and regret it deeply. I hope your babies bring you more joy than you can almost stand! And there is hope for you and Dean; I know there is. Both of you have scars going back into your childhoods. You probably both should have had intensive therapy long before this. But at least you are now! And no matter what, you will emerge with a better understanding of, and appreciation for, yourselves! I am familiar with your reluctance to “let go.” But you know you need to. Cry, scream, punch pillows, smack things with batakas…. Let it OUT, girlfriend! It gets better… I swear it does!! Find some calming music, get very “zen,” journal (for your eyes only!), burn incense… You’ll make it. I did.

            To end (for now!) — I want to ask why people are slamming on Tori’s APPEARANCE?! Holy moly — have you no compassion whatsoever? Or has this page become a “troll magnet?” If too many trolls show up and take over, you may want to take this page down, Tori. Or move it. Or put “safeties” in place. You don’t need to read some of this mess. You really don’t. It’s coming from an ugly place, from some questionable people. You need uplifting messages, words of comfort, and plenty of encouragement. People going on and on about you not brushing your hair in a photograph is — silly. All things considered…

            You are well-loved, Tori. And several of us “weirdos” have your back! And will continue to do so! God’s richest blessings to you and your entre family. ~Namaste~

          • kimber

            U prob don’t even have a boyfriend, much less a husband! Afterall, isn’t it quiet difficult to find someone when ur a disgusting old hag Thts pushing 350lbs and when ur only ‘job’ is sitting on ur arse shoveling cheetos and chicken legs in ur mouth! Gross! Yea… I bet ur sure smthn. Ha! How long have u been living off the govt anyway? Puttin them food stamps 2 good use aren’t ya?! Gaining every last pounds worth outta em huh? Ha Why not invest em in a lil thing called slim fast! Just sayin…

          • Hope

            Your grammar is horrible. You’re a teacher? No wonder the U.S. has fallen to 3rd-world status in education.

          • colleen

            Awwww Hope what a sweetheart thank you for pointing out those great stats,,,
            where would this Little Tori Blog be without that knowledge?

          • Hope

            Almost an LOL for Colleen! Keep working on that humor. You’re almost there. Remember, sarcasm is best when clever and concise! But I’ll give you a C+ because it’s a beautiful morning & I feel charitable! :)

          • colleen

            Thank you Hope…you have given me hope!!!
            Charity is very welcomed!! Hopefully after the next Train Wreck of an Episode I can receive a B-. I shall keep my tiny little fingers crossed!

      • Cheryl6147

        Then maybe you should concentrate on your kids lunches and not Tori’s life

        • colleen

          Aww so cute Cheryl you have Tori’s back way to go girl! (ziplock only)

          • Sandy Haslam Gerig

            That was a “mean girl” comment…it doesn’t help, Colleen.

          • colleen

            “Mean Girls” nice reference to Lindsay Lohan!

          • Elle

            If you can’t take it don’t dish it! This blog was opened up to talk about difficult times in ” your life” and lessons learned along with any words of wisdom! Why are you responding with hurtful opinions about how she chooses to raise her children?
            “Don’t throw stones when you live in a glass house”

          • me

            this colleen person claims to work with children.. It is very unlikely. If you read her posts it is clear she does not work with public or children. I would have to assume from her posts that she is not of sound mind.

          • Loveveryone

            And your an educator shame on you!!

          • colleen

            I should be placed in “time out” ha ha ha

          • lulu

            you’re

          • me

            come on.. Colleen is not an educator.. lmao.. she does not work with children. She sounds unstable and she definitely is far from being “centred” (an important quality to have when working with children) … she’s probably just some bored woman who has nothing better to do

          • concerned for the children

            however, the so-called educator and True Tori display horrible grammar and spelling – no one seems to be very educated or wise

          • TomorrowPerhaps

            It’s “you’re.” Learn to spell before you go after someone about being an educator.

          • joyce

            Well that is mean. When I write online I have made errors because of typing..

        • Better Cheryl

          Cheryl, it’s clearly you fixated on Tori’s pathetic, spineless, self-obsessed life…

      • trish

        I really wish I was as perfect as you Colleen. Maybe one day, I will.

        • colleen

          maybe :)

        • Nay Mahri Gomez

          Tori, all I can say is… STAY STRONG!! If not for yourself then for your four beautiful gems! I’ve seen everything you have been in and am a true fan. You are doing what’s BEST for you and your gems by getting the answers that you deserve in order to make your FINAL decision of either moving on without Dean or working to make your marriage work. My granny always told me “You can’t HEAL unless you clean out the WOUND”. In your case the “wound” being his infidelity and the disastrous hurt it causes you. You going to talk to Dean was the right thing, in order to get answers. You are NOT weak, or stupid or a bad mommy or person. You are a strong woman raising her babies as best as you can under the current circumstances.
          You will get through this one way or another, just hang in there and listen to your heart. Forget about the rumors and tabloids and everything else around you. In the end, the decision is yours to stay with Dean, to learn to trust him in some form again, because trust is always key and once broken is hard to get back and if trust is earned again, it is NEVER the same level of trust as it once was.
          I”m rooting for you as always and your beautiful gems! May God continue to bless you, Liam, Stella, Hattie and Finn. And may God bestow upon Dean the wisdom to do what is right and become a better version of who he was before.
          I love you Tori !

        • colleen

          With a name like Trish I would assume you are Irish …therefore perfect…………however assuming would make an ass out of myself..but the lack of perfection from an Irish lassie would for sure shock me..chin up girl you to can perfect perfection like me :)

      • julie

        watch that Halo doesn’t slip and choke you. not your place to judge anyone pre school Teacher or not. actually Thank God your not pre schooling my kids Miss or Mrs perfect!

        • colleen

          Thank God!

          • jo

            Would these women think the same way if they were the wife with a son and in process of adopting and the spoiled little rich girl came to town and left with their husband? If they would remember back her own parents had nothing to do with her for what she did to her husband, we reap what we sow, we just do.

          • colleen

            Everyone of Tori’s fans says “Oh Tori you are so strong and amazing” blah blah …Jo you are correct… a 100% correct Tori is a home wrecker an now her home was wrecked by a woman. #Cycle

        • heehee

          they need a teacher to tell them how to spell–it’s ‘you’re’ not ‘your.’

      • E

        Nasty, nasty Colleen! You’re not living in her world – none of us are so you don’t have the full picture. And I’d hope that ANY school administrator would be understanding when a family is going through separation, divorce, etc. Grow up and find some sympathy rather than being so judgmental and rude.

        • colleen

          E~ Thanks for the input. I am living in her “reality” world now and LOVE IT!!! Thank you so much Lifetime Channel!!!! Take me away like calgon…..

          • JJ

            Wow, Colleen. I find your responses pretty comical. You should quit your job as an “early educator” and start doing stand up. Maybe you will get famous and all of your laundry will be aired for us to judge. Good luck to you!

          • colleen

            From your mouth to God’s Ears………. “Judgy””

          • Lou

            I’m sure this “Colleen” sad excuse for a human is some obese 15 year old loser who doesn’t get any attention at school or in her personal life so she comes on public forums to bash celebrities. It’s the only attention she gets. She is the reason people kill themselves.

          • Hope

            OK, now I criticized Colleen’s grammar (an educator? Not of MY kids!), but Lou, that is horrible form and not funny at all. I’m sure you’re a lovely person in real life, so what do you gain by posting that? Colleen probably needs a big ole hug! :)

          • E

            Colleen needs something that’s for sure ;)

          • colleen

            You are so right E I do need a nice refreshing glass of Toasted Head Chardonnay …

          • JJ

            I actually find you funny. No judgement, unless you aren’t trying to be?

      • Stella Ortiz-Colon

        The story was already out there moron. If it bothered you do much why did you watch the show. You knew what it was about. I’ll say it again. She didn’t make the story public the how who slept with her husband did. She is just showing others the effects adultery had on a marriage and if the kids see this in the future they will know the truth.

        • colleen

          Stella I really liked your comment,,,,,about seven other people said the same thing! Did Tori steal Dean from his wife???

          • Stella Ortiz-Colon

            You had no knowledge of this before someone else pointed it out to you. The issue here is her heartbreak over what happened to her and how it is affecting her family. What exactly do you gain from cutting someone down? The only thing you are showing is how grateful and ignorant you water on a public forum which you hide behind a empty photo. Is it because you are afraid of what the world might think of you if they saw who you REALLY are?

          • colleen

            Oh the issue is about her heartbreak about what happened to her and how it is affecting her family….I see. Is the world really reading a Tori Spelling Blog?? I must have been living under a rock because I stumbled upon this after watching Wendy Williams talk about Tori but goes to show Tori’s Brand is AMAZING!!! Kudos Tori!

          • Stella Ortiz-Colon

            Nothing posted online stays hidden on the intended site. Proof of how unintelligent you really are. In fact, I just shared this thread on Facebook and a few other blogs just to prove a point. Again, it’s easy to be a bug bad bully when you hide behind a shadow profile.

          • sue

            Colleen- are you saying that you just stumbled on this board with no idea what was being discussed? That would explain a lot. I have put my foot in my mouth on another (non Tori) message board where everyone but me knew the full story- and I apologized for making messes and stirring a pot I should have left alone.

          • colleen

            Sue……..Yes Thanks to Wendy Williams!!! “how you doing?”

          • sue

            Perhaps you should explain that LOUDLY. People on message boards can get very heated & worked up and I think (hope) that you are unintentionally provoking quite a few people who are posting here bc they want to help Tori.

          • colleen

            GIVE ME A BREAK SUE…..

          • colleen

            “LET”S ALL PRAY..”HEAVENLY FATHER TEACH PEOPLE TO LIGHTEN UP AND HAVE MORE FUN!!!” TORI SPELLING IS PROVIDING ME ALOT OF ENTERTAINMENT>THANK YOU LORD JESUS>AMEN (hope it was loud enough sue)

          • sue

            Colleen, go to hell.

          • Anne

            I wouldn’t waste my time on someone as small as Colleen if I were you. She sounds insane and probably needs her medication:) Finding her IP address may calm her inner beast. I hope she doesn’t have kids!

          • stephanie smith

            I have 3 kids and I have been there. It seems so familiar watching the show. I remember I said the same thing that I could not sleep in the same room when my husband cheated. I think your a great person and I am sorry that you are going through this.

          • sharonpalmer

            sue — she lives there, methinks… (it would explain a great deal.)

          • bookgirl1209

            …and let’s all just leave Colleen be…she’s weaving through troll territory and we all know they just need hugs.

          • sue

            I already did. my mistake.

          • colleen

            I perfer “tough love” and call a spade a spade..not glorify a woman who produced four offspring for her own personal needs!

          • Aletha

            That’s a discussing comment. Two words for you – ‘internet troll’.

          • sharonpalmer

            We know the facts. (We don’t know the feelings.) DROP THE “HOMEWRECKER” BIT ALREADY! It’s redundant. And it serves NO purpose.

      • shay

        Then why are you watching. Shows that disgust me like “Preachers Daughters or My 5 wives” I wouldnt even turn it on

      • jo

        Absolutely correct.. that whole family needs counseling

        • Danni

          Wow, some of the stuff people write on here is HORRIBLE! Didn’t your parents teach you if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything!!! That being said, I think you need to do what’s best for you and your family. I don’t think him cheating had anything to do with you and what you did to make him do such a thing. Guys don’t relate love with sex. I think he does love you, I’m sure he wouldn’t have checked himself into a facility if he didn’t, or agreed to put this on tv if he didn’t. Everyone’s circumstances are so different, it’s hard for anyone to tell you how you should handle this situation. Just know that NO ONE is perfect! You will always have to deal with bumps in the road, I think what makes a relationship work are two people who are ALWAYS willing to work things out together, because it’s definitely always easier to walk away. I hope everything works out for the best!

          • jo

            You sound like you know these celebrities personally, most likely most of the drama other than the sex addict husband is made for TV, for ratings, drink the kool aid ;)

      • Eren

        Wow, are you’re kids bullies like their mom?

        • Cyndy

          Why are all of you even responding to Colleen. It is pointless…..let’s talk about the issue at hand and ignore her all together!! After all you are giving her just what she wants and what you say is not going to make her see or understand it.

      • LaDonne

        Then don’t watch! There is no way her kids will never find out about this and at least this way they will be able to see for themselves how well their mother handled it and how she fought to keep her marriage together. They will appreciate that and as far as right now, they don’t have a clue what is going in! Since you are an “educator,” you should be well aware that kids are resilient! Don’t trash Tori unless you’ve walked a mile in her shoes!

      • Helen Berry

        How childless, you are suppose to be a grown woman. You should be ashamed of yourself. Her life is already public and I cannot imagine what she goes through with all the false publicity that she gets. She only wants to tell her side of this. Shame on you.,

        • colleen

          Helen~~ Shame on me….Poor Colleen she should be ashamed of herself and her opinions…awww let me rejoice in feeling sorry for Tori..Poor Poor Tori

          • Ellen Thompson

            Coleen I’m sorry for your pain.

      • me

        Colleen, no one cares that you are an early childhood educator. It means nothing. It doesn’t make you an authority on anything. Childhood educators are failing our children to say the least. It’s a fact, check the statistics. You should stick to making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for your kids. It’s apparent you have difficulties with your emotions when watching television and doing adult chores. When reading your comments I highly doubt you have had any formal training with children. If you had, you are probably unemployed. To be honest you sound unstable.

        • colleen

          Oh Canada…Oh Canada shouldn’t you be watching a hockey game or traveling to Cuba????rather than reporting on stats..

      • Lissa43

        As a woman that has had the love of my life cheat w/a co-worker (of course I was the last to find out), I can empathize w/ you tori. After watching dean check into a clinic (for what I don’t know because the last time I checked, having a w/e affair isn’t a mental condition). As for forgiveness, if it was just 1 nite…it’s possible to work through but a w/e? Big red flag! All I can say is sometimes love just isn’t enough w/o trust & believe me when I say there will always be that little bit of mistrust everytime his phone rings, he goes out of town, etc. Sometimes going your own separate ways but making sure the kids still have mom&dad is the best for everyone. Take your time making any decisions & just let family & friends help&take care of you! We’re all w/you so stay strong…Always remember that your kids ARE your strength.

      • Courtney

        I think that what tori is doing is absolutely selfless and real. As a fellow educator as well, I know firsthand the devastating effects that lying and hiding the truth from the world can have on children. Society judges no matter what- which is very evident from your post. If you don’t like the show, don’t watch it. But don’t pass judgement about the choices she is making for her children. Tori, you are a strong, positive woman and I will pray for your family. It will turn out how it is supposed to. The pain fades over time.

      • Elle

        Turn it off!!!

      • Beth

        WOW! Seriously Colleen? Have you ever been on the other side of this type of situation? I’m personally going through her similar situation right now – I’m on day 5 of dealing with the break up of my family of 5!!! I saw the commercial and have been so desperate to clear my head so I watched. It was like therapy. I saw and heard some of the exact things out of my husbands mouth – hence I am here to support her and tell her THANK YOU for putting herself out there. I understand your pain and am only beginning to deal with the realization of the hurt and pain that lies ahead. So Colleen, why are you watching it, if not for any other reason than for your own entertainment? You obviously don’t get her point. Why not keep your pitiful opinions to yourself, change the channel and leave the Comments section to those of us that need that kind of support! You only hope you never have to deal with this kind of pain.

      • txlbsw

        I would think if u were a practicing “early childhood educator” you would have more experience in dealing with the rate of separation while parents work through their issues, no matter what they are, without JUDGING the parent(s) unless the children are at risk. If indeed that is the case, then it is neither your call nor are you adequately trained in any state in the nation to make the call that she is a ” bad moher” as you are not a licensed social worker. you are required to report to the state agency for a reason.
        I agree…… keep your attention to preparing your kids lunches.

      • penny

        You are the true meaning of a moron. Get your facts straight and don’t you dare judge, that’s not your job. I am truly scared you say you are an educator omg you need to work as a sewer cleaner.

        • colleen

          Here is a Penny for your thoughts

      • kimber

        Well change the channel u freaking idiot! While ur busy watching TV, ur kids are prob sparking up b4 school or stealing $ outta ur purse or some nonsense! In fact, do u even know what ur kids are doing now while ur playing keyboard cowgirl?! Why don’t u worry less about Tori’s life and HER choices and focus more on ur own children! If smthn as small as a reality TV show is ‘pushing ur buttons’, you truly need to get a life… or a freaking hobby! You, my dear, are the PATHETIC one… in case u didn’t know Tht already. :).

      • chaser

        yes
        ! I agree!

      • geehwiz44

        Colleen, I am a retired Early Childhood Teacher, Elementary and have ESL Grad School Certification. I disagree with your general negative comments. Horrific you feel?? Children are perceptive and know when parents, etc. are unhappy and they do talk when in school! But you ought to know that right? I have heard very sad stories. No food at home, A/C, fighting, drinking etc at home. With technology today, children can find out anything about their celeb parents. Very easy. I feel it is best for children to know what is going on, and in a level which they comprehend. I have seen bits of other reality shows, too numerous to list, which include children and parents with differing opinions, etc., Lots of bigger drama on those shows. For some reason I have a difficult time envisioning you as an empathic person let alone teacher.

        Perhaps you need a spiritual time out. Having one’s buttons pushed hurts. Preparing your children’s lunches, rushing off to teach, coming home to more work, can take a toll on our health, mind body and spirit. Blessed Be.

      • Karenmarieoathkeepers

        You certainly have horrific spelling for an educator. Perhaps you should concentrate on that instead. :)

    • jo

      My mother took care of 7 kids while my father worked the grave yard shift , boo hoo to the poor little rich girl that thought it was ok to cheat on her husband with a married man with children,. see god works in mysterious ways, called Karma… deal with it money grubbers

    • Sightation

      It’s my understanding that Tori actually employs 3 Nannies. She must’ve hid them all in the laundry room when the cameras came in.

      • sue

        Not sure anymore, they have had money issues for the past year or so.

        • Sightation

          Okay, I didn’t know that. Tonights (last nights’), episode was super real. I admire them for that.!

    • sharonpalmer

      I’m in Nashville as well!
      “NASHVEGAS SUPPORTS TORI!”
      We Love You!
      –Area 615!
      <3

    • Michelle Tyacke

      Are you crazy? Tori has 3 nannies!! 11 Tori puts on a show for the cameras to make it look like she does it all.Give me a break!!!!

  • Lisa Kaye Blankenship

    I am proud of you and I’m praying for you and your family. I hope you guys can work it out. Love you Tori

  • Mandy

    It broke my heart watching your pain, I felt it took great courage to put this all out there for us to see. I’m so sorry for you and your family’s pain.. Your a beautiful, couragest,strong women I will pray for your healing and to overcome this rocky storm.

  • steph

    If your heart and your gut tell you that you should stay with Dean, then you are not being weak. Rather, you are being STRONG. Once I realized that my husband was a man in pain, who needed compassion and love by his side, it gave me a sense of peace and strength. I was not going to abandon someone who needed me, especially since I vowed “for better or worse” (mind you, that would not have been the case if he were abusive). Surround yourself with people who are fighting for your marriage to succeed, not because that will necessarily be the outcome, but because they are fighting for BOTH of you, regardless of the outcome. Those telling you to leave, who are critical of your husband, aren’t doing you any favors, even if this is what you are leaning towards. They are good intentioned, for sure. But they are not the ones who have built a life with him, and only you can know if there is anything to salvage. They are angry – like you – but lack the deep love and companionship that the two of you have shared, and so they cannot see the entire picture. All they know is that you have been wronged, and that’s just not the entire story.

  • Karen

    I’ve loved you forever because you’ve always seemed REAL! This just makes me love you even more and you even more real to your fans. You’re not in this boat alone! Only you can decide what’s rightfor your family. DDon’t take advice from divorced people or those that have never had to overcome something. The relationships that last are the ones that keep fighting long after the things that are meant to tear them apart.

  • Linda

    Would you consider taking a 1 year break from your marriage? A year is long enough to tell yourself the truth about what you really want and what you really need. I had to agree with you when you mentioned it was too soon for you to know if it was best for Dean to come home. It’s all to easy to fall back into old routines and habits. It’s time to find out what Tori wants. :)

  • Kristen Jackson

    The show was so real. I myself was choking back tears and after being a fan for over 20 years and watching your shows, reading your books, I felt like I was right there with you watching a friend go through this awful time. I think you are the most down to earth “real” celebrity that is out there. You are such a strong woman even though it may not feel that way right now. Thank you for sharing your life with us and letting us see that everyone has their share of problems and issues in life and with relationships. You continue to be an inspiration to me. xoxoxox {{{hugs}}}

  • krismom2three

    Love you, cried with you and wish I could help you. As a mom of 3 let me say you are doing great mama

  • DebJ

    I think you are a great mom and a wonderful person. You are so strong and loving. I admire your goodness and they way you love with all you have. I went thru a similar situation with my husband and I took him back but I cannot get the trust back for him that I once had. We did divorce and I still love him but I can’t be with him. Love you very much

  • Dee

    I was recently cheated on by my girlfriend of 3 years. I can barely get out of bed. It is inspiring to see your strength. I hope I find half of the strength you have.

  • Abby

    Dear Tori, I hope as you read these comments you can see how much you are loved and admired by your fans. I was tweeting through all last night watching your new episodes. I commend you for being so incridably brave to sit in front of a camera and face us and tell us your story so incridably vulernable and all cried out. I know that you are setting the record straight so the stupid tabloids don’t get thier stories wrong and print thier stories wrong.I know you are doing this to tell your story and look at the world through your eyes. I commend you for this. You are raising your children as a single mother and you are doing a fantasic job! I know what it is like to be cheated on, lied to, the whole 9 yards believe me I’ve walked in your shoes so I know excatly what you are feeling sweetie you are not alone. I hope that you know how much you are loved by your fans, friends and family who love you. I commend you for standing your ground against dean and sticking to your guns and not backing down. You are being so incridably brave through all of this and again remember tori you are not alone. We love you your fans and we are with you 100%.

  • RENEE

    MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU, IT WAS VERY SAD TO WATCH YOU GO YOU GO THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES TIMES WITH MY BOYFRIEND. MY BOYFRIEND & I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 16 YEARS,& HE HAS CHEATED & I HAVE CAUGHT HIM WITH A WOMAN. WE HAVE NO CHILDREN TOGETHER, SO IT WOULD BE VERY EASY TO LEAVE, BUT I DO LOVE HIM, & I WILL TELL YOU WHY. MY BOYFRIEND HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM & ALL OF THE CHEATING THAT HE HAS DONE, HAS BEEN WHEN HE WAS DRUNK. HE CAN NEVER CHEAT ON ME WHILE BEING SOBER, HE LETS THE BOOZE TAKE OVER. HE DOES HAVE A PROBLEM & HE KNOWS IT, BUT HE HAS BEEN THIS WAY ALL HIS LIFE, BUT I WILL TELL YOU ONE THING. ALL OF THESE “THINGS” THAT HE HAS CHEATED WITH WILL NOT BRING ME DOWN, I AM BETTER THAN THEY ARE, & I AM BETTER THAN HE IS, BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM & I NEVER WILL. I WILL NEVER LET ANYONE BREAK UP THE HOME THAT I CREATED WITH MY BOYFRIEND OF 16 YEARS, SO IF THEY WANT THEIR 5 MIN. OF FUN WITH HIM, LET THEM HAVE HIS DRUNK ASS, BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE HIS HEART IS, & THAT IS WHY HE IS HOME WITH ME EVERYNIGHT. DON’T LET THIS GET YOU DOWN, SHE IS NOTHING. LOOK WITHIN YOUR HEART, YOU WILL FIND FORGIVNESS.. IT WILL BE HARD, BUT IT’S THERE. STAY STRONG!!!

  • Stacy Elizabeth Milaschewski

    I couldn’t sleep. My heart hurt for you, even some tears. We love you Tori.

  • Cindy

    I’m a die hard fan of yours
    I’ve read all your books
    Met you at a book signing
    And have watched your family grow on TV
    and may or may not have a Donna Martin doll
    The “love you babe’ ‘love you babe’ *kiss & giggle” we’d hear during the end credits of Tori & Dean always made me smile

    Watching True Tori was so hard to watch
    Because I felt like it was my friend going through it

    Most people would say to walk away from the marriage
    But I admire so much that you’re going to fight for your marriage
    There’s good stuff here, between you and Dean
    And we know he’s not a BAD guy, just a troubled one
    You put yourself out there for the whole world to watch and inevitably judge you
    But that shows just how strong you are

    No matter what ends up happening, your fans love and support will be endless.
    You’re still that funny, crafty, chic woman we all love
    <3

  • Alicia

    I was (am) so incredibly sad for you. I was the “Dean” in the relationship, though it was mainly an emotional affair. Thankfully, my husband forgave me, we went theough some counseling and even on a marriage retreat. I now have a better understanding of what marriage means and how sacred a bond it truly is, though I thought I knew that previously. Marriage is hard & takes work and moments & trials like these certainly do not help. I am grateful that we are 11 years removed from it. Though it is not perfect, we communicate with each other and are in it for the long haul, something we reassure our kids (9, 7 & 2). I know every situation is different but Dean seems to want to make things work, by going through treatment & counseling with you. I hope you are able to forgive him in time & that he is able to be the man you deserve. It’s incredibly difficult going through something like this and I am nowhere near the public eye like you are. It broke my heart also when Liam told the paps to get out of here. Glad they listened! You have done an amazing job with your beautiful children. Praying for you all!

  • Andi

    My wish for you is that you stop worrying about what you should be doing,feeling,or saying. This is your life, your marriage, your family, your happiness and only you know what you want, there is no wrong or right way. I will be watching every episode and praying for your family.

  • Tracy S.

    Watching last nights episode, I could feel your pain. At one point you made a comment to the effect of not knowing if what you were feeling was ok. Let me tell you, as a woman who’s asked herself the same question and gotten support, ITS ALL OK! They are your feelings. They don’t need justifying and not everyone will understand and that’s ok too. If any of your babies came to you saying they felt a certain way, you’d offer them love and support, right? Same goes for your babies mommy! YOU are entitled to what you’re feeling. YOU are dealing with a huge load, and YOU are allowed to focus on your hurts and struggles and be a wee bit selfish. Take care of you. Cry. Smile. Hurt. Rejoice. Fall. Jump. Hurt. Heal. That’s life, Tori. Where ever you are emotionally and mentally will change moment to moment and day to day. We are here for you through it all! Sending much love from my home to yours! May strength, power, and courage be yours today and every day!

  • A Myers

    Yes I think Dean was absolutely wrong for what he did to you. A man should never cheat on their spouse. I loved watching you tell your story last night but however the only thing that bothered me was that everything you and Dean went through were discussed with your friends. Why is that? Is anything just between you and Dean. To me you are giving your friends the opportunity to form a opinion against Dean when in all reality you and Dean are gonna work things out because that’s what families do. You are a strong woman and you don’t always need the opinion of your friends. I hope you and Dean work everything out. I really wish you guys the best of luck.

  • razrbckgirl1014

    I was betrayed also by the man that I regarded as my best friend, husband, and father of my son. I found out that my husband of 5 years was having an affair with my best friend. I was destroyed but unlike your situation I never got the respect or the honesty that I needed or deserved. I had a husband and best friend that denied the affair and still do to this day but the catcher to that is they have been married for over 16 years. So I guess that was their way of really saying yeah we had an affair but we don’t feel we need to respect you and just say it. I not only lost my husband but my best friend all at once. I eventually remarried but the damage was done because I just could not trust him. But my friendships suffered as well because women became the enemy. I have moved on and rebuilt myself from the inside out and I am so much stronger because I chose not to let what they did destroy me forever. I had a 3 year old I had to raise. Life is hard but when we stand up and say I will not continue to be the victim of my husband’s indiscretion y out become free to be you and not what the affair has made you. Tori you are stronger than you think and you will do what is right for you and your children and honestly it has to be your choice. Your friends and family may not like it but if they are true to you they will continue to be there no matter what you decide.

  • L

    Tori —- Now do you truly understand how Dean’s first wife felt 7 yrs ago? This is a big lesson to learn. Sometimes words come back to haunt you. I think no one can tell you what to do, just follow your gut feeling

  • Jeanne

    Dear Tori……I watched last evening, and it was very hard to watch what you are going through……I wish you blessings of healing, and I wish the very best to you and your children.

  • Angela Szopenske

    I have never been married or have any child, but the only thing I think you can do is what is best for YOU!!!!! It was very hard to watch. I have my own opinion, but will not share. Hope you and your child do what is best for you both. Take Care of Yourself, your child need you.

  • Alyssa Anderson Palmisano

    I felt Tori that you were so open an honest . It was heartbreaking to watch at the same time. I think WE as women have at sometime in our lives been betrayed by a man in our lives. I have but not in the same way you have, having 4 children the papz argghh… I think you are strong!!! I don’t think I would be able to deal with the papz NOPE!!! But remember you did nothing wrong he did!! I hope you really speak your mind with Dean. I hope he’s truly sorry don’t know if that’s enough but all I kept thinking is…. even if the marriage doesn’t work he needs to be there on a daily basis for your 4 kids!! No getting off the hook. You could of died giving him his forth child I mean I would say he owes you BIG time!!! Plus his kids!! My heart truly goes out to you and your kids <3 in the end things will work out however they work out. YOU are one brave woman I think ;) I've been married almost 15yrs now and I hope its forever but we never really know. Your show made me think. …I think your show will bring also awareness for women going through a sim situation. I've watched ALL of yours and Deans shows. He should be beyond ashamed . Also I think your show should bring MORE awareness to the problems with the Papz !! Something really needs to be done there is a line and I think for yrs now they have crossed it. Have faith in yourself, trust yourself and Godbless you all. :)

  • Gina Keane

    Seeing your courage last night was amazing, I understand what you are going through, most of us do. You are doing what you need to do, you will find the answers and you will figure it all out, I am not going to tell you to stay or go, that is up to you and Dean. I applaud the fact that you are telling your story, you knew it was going to be throw out there for the world to see, honestly I think this was the best therapy for you. Thank you for sharing with all of us. Us fans love you and are here for you.

  • Hilary Lauren

    Dear Tori,
    As I am only 17, I am not yet married nor do I have any children so I have not gone through what you are going through. However my parents, especially my dad are having marital problems & they have been the duration of their 26 year marriage. So I thought I would take a different approach to the comment & talk to you from the child’s perspective. Essentially I can’t stand my father, that may sound horrible & like other people you may “but underneath it all you still love him” well every day I doubt that more & more. My reasoning for disliking him is because ever since I was 10 my mother used me as a therapist & told me way too much information about their lack of marriage and their great disliking for each other, they are only still together because mum can’t afford to divorce dad as we live on a farm, also so that my younger brother can attend his high school. What I am trying to say is if you feel like you need to divorce Dean then do, you will find away to work around it for the children. In no way do you want Hattie or Finn to grow resentment towards their father because of what he has done & I say those 2 because Liam & Stella already have a great developed relationship with him. Personally I wish my patents would just divorce already because it would make it easier on everyone. Tori you need to think about if your children are going to grow up with two parents who have a great deal of tension between them or not & what is truly best for them. Remember whatever decision you make will be from your heart & brain & it will be the right one. Much love & support to you

  • Jamie

    You should be so proud of how much integrity and grace you have shown thru this horrible betrayal. You are the only one who can figure out what is right for you and your family. Please follow your heart and have faith that no matter what you will have a happy ending either with Dean or without because you are a strong beautiful person. You have four wonderful children and they will survive whatever is decided because they will have you to support them.

  • MVon

    You are so brave to be so open about everything in this way. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Keep doing what you need to do for your family. Hugs and prayers!

  • http://flyingheartranch.wordpress.com/ Jeannie Salcido

    I think it’s wonderful that you are so vulnerable to share your story. It will help so many who have gone through the same thing. I thing you are smart to go slow. I think you are fair to give him another chance even though many would say not to. I think sexual addiction is something that lots of men (and their spouses) struggle with in private with no help. You are shining light on that at your own personal cost. That is so brave. You are going to have to block out all the negative talk from everyone. Focus on your children. Ask for help once in a while! I’ll come watch the kids :) Take time for you, including private counseling sessions where you can share your feelings without feeling like you are hurting him. You are trying to rebuild trust. That’s a long and painful process. I think the world will benefit from your openness and honestly. Take it slow. Take care of yourself first. That’s the only way you will be a good mom and be able to make good decisions.

  • MSquaredmomma

    Amazing Tori. I love that you are taking charge of your own story. It is clearly an incredibly difficult time for you and your family and to allow us all in takes some amazing strength. Fighting through the pain of infidelity and saving your marriage is a daunting task, but worth every tear and dark day. It is wonderful to see you acknowledge the importance of family and providing a stable home for your children with both parents. Only you and Dean know what is right for your marriage and I pray you heal and figure out how to be even happier than you were before. I am certain you are helping others get through similar pain and that will be rewarding for you. You definitely made me grateful for the Godly husband I was given, imperfections and all.

  • Sherri Smith

    I feel terrible Tori! Nobody is deserving of this. No matter how you & Dean’s relationship started doesn’t give this any justice. He shouldn’t have done this to you, and I am Praying for you. Stay strong, but follow your heart! I’ll be keeping you & the kids in my thoughts & prayers <3

  • Sarai

    I loved it! My heart broke for you but so grateful to you for being willing to be vulnerable and real.. Praying for healing for you and your family and restoration of the dream of the perfect love.

  • Peggy Page Kelly

    Tori, I will be honest and tell you I did not watch it. I couldn’t due to the nature of what happened. You are such a positive role model for all young people today. It is heart wrenching to see you so upset emotionally. You are a beautiful young woman with a beautiful young family. Children love both their parents no matter what happens to their relationship. I hope and pray you and Dean can come to some understanding and solution that will work long term. Love to you and yours, always, Peggy

  • rachschuit

    I hate that people associate the word “weak” with trying to save your marriage. You do you. Crying makes you stronger aND is by no means a sign of weakness. If you want to work on your marriage, I think that is wonderful. Fighting for something, for someone you promised forever with takes guts, strength and tons of love. I think you guys have it. I don’t believe one a cheater always a cheater. If he did it again, okay, leave. But I think you guys should at least try. I’ve been in a similar situation, it royally sucks. I admire your strength and love for your child. I admire that you are not listening to everyone else and that you are trying to just do you. I’ve always looked up to you and still, as an adult, wife and mother, look up to you. Whatever happens, happens. Life goes on and you are doing a wonderful job showing that! :) Love the realness of the show, and of course you! :) No matter what… You go girl!!! :)

    • rachschuit

      Typing on my phone sucks. Sorry for the misplaced words or bad grammar! :)

  • jlashae

    Watching the episode I cried with you! No woman should ever feel the pain of this kind of betrayal. Also, remember that this sort of betrayal is never your fault. Dean has his own demons and he has to face what he has done. And just know that you must always do what you feel is best in your heart and not what you feel is easiest. In time you will know. For now just remember that you are doing a wonderful job at keeping the days as normal as possible for your children. Stay strong mama!

  • NCGir76

    Tori,
    I watched the show and have been a fan of yours for years. I have always admired your strength for balancing work, family, and all the other crazy things that pop up in life. But after watching this episode, my heart was breaking for you. I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through right now with everything in your life being so open, and no privacy. On top of that, having to deal with all of it on your own and hide your feelings for the sake of the children. You are a strong woman but at some point you are going break my friend. I want to say this as someone that cares for you and is sincere. You may not want to hear this, but you and your family need God in your life if you don’t already. There is no greater love than his, trust me, I have learned from being in my lowest points in life. He will never leave you my friend. He loves you and your family and can build back your marriage if you both let him, I can guarantee it. I’m not a preacher or a saint, just an ordinary gal whose been through some tough life challenges and can go on and on but don’t want to spill out my life on here for the world. If you want to know more, I would be happy to talk to you about my experiences and share my life with you. I have prayed for your family and hope there is room for healing!! Hugs to you friend!!

  • Anne

    I cried with you. I have trouble getting two kids ready in the morning and you do it with four! You are a strong woman and I thank you for putting your life out there for is to see.

  • anneliese

    Love Tori. But everyone is so shocked. Look at the way their relationship started? My mom always said. You can’t build your happiness on someone else’s unhappiness. Wasn’t something like this bound to happen?

    • colleen

      Wait….what am I missing??? how did this relationship start???

      • TiredMom

        Tori and Dean were both married to other people when they hooked up. They cheated with each other.

        • colleen

          They cheated with each other!!!! So this is just KARMA kicking them in the “arse.”………

          • stacey

            Colleen you seem to have a lot to say it very sad to read your comments cause they consist of jealous words and that is the way your putting yourself out there its sad when your jealous of someone you do not even know yes she is putting out there what some people do not have the balls to do she is setting it straight instead of having people read lies and then she has to deal with people like you!! You have no clue how her kids will turn out and I can bet the only reason you have something to say like that is cause you must have been burnt in a relationship cause instead of sticking by another women and give her good advice you want to cut her down!! No matter 2 hate has happen in my life I do not judge another person I happen to like tori and all her shows and I like Dean too we all make mistakes and sometimes we can get pass them and sometimes we can’t but I would never judge anyone or there children

          • colleen

            Oh Stacey thank you for “schooling” me. Yes I hope her children do not turn out to be the “Lindsay Lohans” of the world. I wonder what advice Tori would need from me Stacey…I have no advice other than take your Kids of the Lifetime Network because the psychological damage being done when they are 18 watching the Father Beg to come back into his home, lean in to hold his wife…become rejected and than retreat!! The only suggestion is to pick the book up” Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson ..and get your “arse” off TV.

          • stacey

            Colleen see there you go again assuming how about I use my masters in psychology to help you understand better her children are not being damaged by this and when they are old enough to understand I can bet their parents will explain what had happen if they even question it how do you know what is damaging them are you there in room do you see them daily I mean really you assume way to much just like you assumed I do nothing but watch TV and advice would be to stay strong and do what had to be done for her kids you pretty much said she was a bad mother cause she is putting her life out there its kind of hard not to when others do it with out her permission all she is doing is telling her side

          • colleen

            Doctorate….not Masters…LOL

          • stacey

            I know what I said and apparently you know it all and now you even know what degree I have just an FYI I have my masters in psychology you know a real degree you get from college!!

          • Jenn

            *off, not of. Great spelling/grammar there teach!!

          • colleen

            Jenn maybe you can be my tutor spelling/grammar tutor?? Lord knows I pay a fortune for my child’s education and all the additional tutors since Mommy can’t spell. Thank the lord I teach Sign Language and not Grammar my students would fail!

          • sue

            Colleen- out of curiosity; why are you on this board ? You don’t appear to like Tori or what her new show is going to discuss. Tori is (hopefully) reading these replies for support & strength, please don’t knock a girl when she’s down. She is fully aware of her life choices- you aren’t revealing anything she hasn’t already thought about 1,000,000 times.

          • Ginpan

            Tell it, Sue!!

        • Ellen Thompson

          Deans ex was devastated. Now it’s Victoria’s turn. Good stuff.

  • colleen

    Proud of you is what I can say. Betrayal is something many can not get over. You are a strong beautiful woman and can over come this heart ache; may take a long time before you can actually believe you are overcoming it but it will happen. Guilt shall not play a roll. Find that amazing woman each morning and lead her through the lives of them beautiful babies. May you believe in each step, thought, anger, stress you are building a stringer tori.

  • Mickie L. Tracy

    I just wanted to say I do hope you do not let Dean back into the house this soon, three months is not enough time. You need the time to heal after watching last night you can tell that you have not even begun to take time for yourself. I know it is hard to try and raise four small children by yourself,
    Do not let him put any blame on you men have a habit to try and blame their spouse for there cheating you must remember it had nothing to do with you and I do not believe for one minute that it all had to do with his childhood and his alter ego, that it such bullshit. You made some comments last night that things have not always been right and that you noticed changes in Dean and you talked to him about it. Please go back in your mind and go over what you where talking about and see if anything had changed after you talked about it with him. It is also a good thing to write down your feelings because you will be surprised at what will start coming out when you begin writing it down. This may really help you in making the right choices.

  • Angela

    My heart did break for you and the kids. I love you and all your shows. But I do have to say this is how your relationship began. There was a woman just like you that was hurting in this same manner. I know you will do whats best for you and the kids, and I surely hope you find what that is.

  • Kelly Wade

    Most of us don’t get the chance to face what happened and work thru it with therapy or what ever. So what your doing is amazing! Revolutionary if you will, since sharing betrayal in your marriage is so embarrassing and heart wrenching no one shares especially publicly. You are by no means WEAK as you fear. You are a warrior and even though Dean betrayed you most men don’t have the balls to own it and certainly not to be scrutinized nationally on television. What your doing is going to change lives and save marriages. I believe this with all of my heart!!!! In my life I have been down that road more times than I can mentioned and recoiled everytime he became defensive over what HE did and I wound up apologizing bc I didn’t what to hurt HIS feelings. SO Classic!!! Unfourtantly I just went through it once again in my fairy tale romance with the love of MY life. Same situation as you right down to us be both married when we fell in love. Number one you don’t deserve it bc you were married when you became involved. It happened and your family deserve a future no matter how it came to be. With that being said my Prince Charming and I actually talked about what happened last night after watching and for the first time he said I was SO wrong and such an asshole and I actually said YES you were. We are going to fix this and YOU opened that door. You and Dean opened the door to healing for a lot of others in this taboo situation. Power is transparency Tori and Dean. Love you guys and God Bless!!!

  • Amanda Petersen

    Hey Tori,I’ve been watching your family since you’re first show when Liam was a newborn,I am so sorry this has happened to you,I cried during last nights episode,it was so intense and real,as a mom of three it was hard seeing your world turned upside down I hope you hold on to love you have for Dean,he is an amazing father to your children,and I wish you the best for you and your family!

  • Tink

    I read this online somewhere. Do you want a
    partner who will confide in you and let you help them or someone who is so
    ashamed and proud that he will do straight up immoral things and keep you from
    the truth?

  • heather

    I think that you are doing an AMAZING job with your kiddos. Don’t be so hard on yourself. My heart breaks for you. And I admire your strength and courage. You are going to get through this not somehow but vicTORious!

  • A

    I tuned in last night to hear your story, to see how your kids were, to see that you were indeed a strong and brave gal. As I watched the first few minutes of you sitting on the couch, I could see the tears brimming in your eyes. I knew the exact feelings you were expressing, I’ve been there. I remember you saying once on your show, that you feared this happening to you as your relationship began as an affair, and that he might do it again but this time cheat on you. Even knowing that this is a pattern of behavior Dean has, it was still hard to watch as you shared the pain that he has caused you, your children, and your friends by his hurtful choices. Thank you for sharing your world and your story, so many of us have been betrayed by our husbands and carry the pain in secret for years. I hope your story can be of help and encouragement to other women facing this situation. God bless you!

  • Momof3

    I watched your show and cried from beginning to end. I am living through the same journey. Our family is on the way back now but it is very hard. It has been 18 months since the our world stopped spinning and I lost my best friend in the blink of an eye too. I completely get it. A husband with a really difficult childhood, addiction issues and having a alcohol fueled weekend affair capping off all of the dysfunction. My husband too went into extended inpatient treatment. He was completely out of our family for 6 months and I had to raise and support 3 kids all on my own. Every day I hear how could I still be with him. I too felt weak for wanting to see my husband or trying to work it out. There is another man in there….he is the man I fell in love with. When we say “I do” it is for better or worse and it is in sickness and in health. Sickness doesn’t always mean the flu. Sometimes it means, depression…addiction… and just plain instability. One day at a time is not just for them it is for us too. The best advice I can give is that when things are really overwhelming the one thing that kept me sane was envisioning putting all of the worry on a platter and handing it over. We can not change any of it and we can’t worry it away. We can only do what is best for us and our babies. When you go to bed at night and can lay your head down and feel confident in the choices and decisions you have made that day you have won. As the ones left in the wreckage we don’t get to go off and work on our selves. There isn’t any designated time for us to heal. We just manage….love those babies…they will heal you and your heart.

  • Carrie King

    I too have been where you are(were) as I watched you panic over the text message I remember that feeling of uncertainty one thing I want to tell you is if you are going to forgive you have to forgive and let it go and never hold on to it, because it will destroy your relationship if you don’t fully let it go. If you move forward together then move completely forward no bringing it up or holding it over his head. I did just that forgave and moved forward together did therapy for sometime but we are happier than we ever have been 20 years later. He had a child in his affair and I raised that baby who is only one month younger than ours I got him at three months of age. So happiness can happen after a devastating time in your life. Prayers and much love to you and your family.

  • Marian

    Don’t rush as you move through this mound of feelings running through you. Take your time , do what’s best for you. While your friends may be harsh and one sided on this, I’m sure they love you and only want what’s best for you. Sometimes in the fog our friends can see more clearly than we can.

  • Julie

    Oh Tori-I just watched the show. I started to cry while you were trying to get your kids out the door to school and have not stopped. I have three kids under the age of five, and have been trying to put myself in your shoes. I’ve always thought you seemed like an intelligent, creative, determined and genuinely kind individual. I’ve now added brave to that list. I hope and pray this all works out like you want it to.

  • RandiS

    I have not had this happen to me. I have been married for 5 years and we have 2 beautiful little girls. Watching “True Tori” last night did however make me feel that I need to cherish what I have with my husband more. He is very honest, loving, caring and fun! And watching your story made me realize how very lucky I am. He watched it with me and we both vowed again never to betray our marriage vows or disrespect each other. I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you know you are never alone. I have always loved you and will always support you. Love to you and the kiddos. They are so adorable! Stay strong and be your own beautiful!

  • Karen M

    Tori I watched the show this morning and truthfully I have not been able to stop thinking about you all day. It was so raw and heartbreaking. I’ve been thru the same and I know everything you are thinking and feeling. My heart and prayers go out to you. It is not your fault, you did not deserve it and one day you will be able to believe it. I feel your pain and I wish I could make it better. Know that there are so many of us women out here who love and admire you. You are strong and beautiful and an amazing mom. Oh and US mag sucks, your complexion is NOT rough, it’s luminous! :) (hugs). Karen M.

  • TorifanJP

    I just want to say I think it’s extremely brave of you to come out and share your story. I was where you are now about 5 years ago. I’ve been with my husband since I was 17, I’m now 42. We have 5 children, at the time the 3 oldest just became adults and I had a 3 year old. It was so hard to go through while caring for a small child and not wanting to get out of bed. I can only imagine how hard it is for you with 4 small children and work plus being in the public eye! I watched the show with my husband by my side, he watched me as I wiped the tears from eyes. It’s still hard, but I promise it does get easier. We went to counseling with a pastor from our church and I made the decision to stay in the marriage. I gave my husband a chance, he knows that if it happens again it will be the last time. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you what you should do, don’t let them influence your decision, it’s yours to make alone. It may take a long time before you are sure if you want to stay in the relationship or not, but it’s ok to take all of the time you need, don’t let anyone rush you. It’s ok to let it out, you don’t need to always be the strong one, you are human, let all of emotions out, don’t keep them bottled up because you don’t want anyone to see your hurt and anger. I love watching you and I hope to see more of you in the future. You, Dean, and your little ones are in my prayers! Oh yeah, we now have a 2 yr old son too!

  • someone whos been there

    I can’t say I have ever been in your shoes. I can only imagine your heart breaking pain. It is OK to ask for help. You have 4 small children it is impossible to do it alone and have sanity left in your life. I wanted to get on a plane and fly to your house just to help. I know that was filmed a while ago. Don’t listen to the rude nay sayers, so what is best for you and your children no one else matters. There are people out here that pay no attention to everything they hear. I do not read the tabliods nor do I believe everything they say. so chin up and carry on you can do it!!!!!!!

    • vionette

      I too wanted to babysit free n help =]

  • ssakellync

    Tori I have to admit I didn’t admire you much during 90210 but once you got older and I started to “KNOW” you I have found you so intriguing, I know no matter what, you will make the best decision for you and your children. Many people will say don’t take him back once a cheat always a cheat, do not let other influence your decision, this is YOUR life!! DO what YOU need to for you, whether the decision outcome is good or bad. I look forward to seeing more of Tory!! love you!! Sharon Kelly ~ Charlotte NC

  • Jamie G. Valley-Vasquez

    I just want to thank you for sharing your story with us. You are so brave and your feelings are so raw that at times it was difficult to watch. I understand how your one friend who thinks you should file divorce feels; I do not know you on a personal level and I wanted to reach in and smack Dean when he brought it up. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. I also think that Dean placing himself in rehab while you are left to handle the aftermath as well as trying to keep everything as normal for your children is selfish and quite frankly fucked up. You deserve better. What he choose to do is not your fault. He is a grown man, who yes may have had a difficult upbringing but that has nothing to do with how he has betrayed you. Thank you again Tori, just know I do not read tabloids or take joy in yours or any other celebrities pain. Oh yeah, you are doing a kick ass job with your kids, never doubt that. Always remember your worth.

  • Danielle

    I’m really torn on my opinion of True Tori. I should start by saying that I’m a big fan of yours. I think you’re hilarious and adorable and kind and lovely in every way. I’ve watched all your shows and read all your books. But this show? When I first heard about it I must admit I was kind of grossed out at the idea of it. Like everyone else I was shocked and saddened by the news that Dean strayed. Like everyone else I was waiting for you to comment on the situation. But a reality show about it cheapens it in a way and makes it seem like you’re trying to cash in on a really horrible and traumatic event in not only your life but the lives of your children. It’s completely unnecessary. Something this personal is none of the worlds business. And if you really needed people to know the truth a simple blog post setting the record straight would’ve been more than enough.
    On the flip side of that I guess if this is what you need to do to heal and move forward, all the power to you. Do whatever it takes. I really truly wish you and your family all the best and hope this sTori (sorry, couldn’t resist) has the happiest ending possible.

  • Melissa

    You are a strong person and a great mother I learned just how down to earth you are your home is beautiful and inviting I had watched you for years and now I have seen you in a new way not the tabloid version you are brave tackling this in the public I can’t believe dean has done this he has a beautiful loving family and a career and to throw it away kills me I have family and all that we could wish for is to build a home so we know we won’t be homeless I just don’t understand you and him went through a lot to get married tori I saw your strength now get mad tear him apart then I hope you will find your way as a couple or single but don’t short yourself you deserve a wonderful life and your dad would agree god bless you and the kids

  • Carol

    Tori, Thank you for allowing us into your life. My hubby and I have adored you and Dean for many years. Although we both hurt for you we still have hope for the both of you. Remember love prevails. Dean loves you as you love him. Sometimes these mistakes happen to test that love. You have a beautiful family keep it together and just build it stronger. It will be a long slow process but if you have love and faith and I know you do, then your love will truly prevail. Xoxo

  • Jenny

    I felt like you were me! I too have had that feeling of not wanting to rock the boat, just saying nothing and it will all just go along fine if I never address it. I have to say that you gave me the courage to stand up for myself and not just go along with no emotion.

  • Connie

    Tori, you are such a strong person and a great mom. Just take one day at a time. Its OK to cry it is part of healing. Please don’t forget to take care of yourself your wonderful kids need YOU. I will be praying for you all. Just take one day at a time.

  • Tracy S

    Watching last nights episode, I could feel your pain. At one point you made a comment to the effect of not knowing if what you were feeling was ok. Let me tell you, as a woman who’s asked herself the same question and gotten support, ITS ALL OK! They are your feelings. They don’t need justifying and not everyone will understand and that’s ok too. If any of your babies came to you saying they felt a certain way, you’d offer them love and support, right? Same goes for your babies mommy! YOU are entitled to what you’re feeling. YOU are dealing with a huge load, and YOU are allowed to focus on your hurts and struggles and be a wee bit selfish. Take care of you. Cry. Smile. Hurt. Rejoice. Fall. Jump. Hurt. Heal. That’s life, Tori. Where ever you are emotionally and mentally will change moment to moment and day to day. We are here for you through it all! Sending much love from my home to yours! May strength, power, and courage be yours today and every day!

  • KV

    Watched your show last night and I felt like I was listening to a recording of myself. I am literally going through the same thing. I lost my job of 17 years in December 2013 and didn’t handle it very well. My husband got frustrated with me over it and went out for a drink and met a girl. I found out on Feb 13 2014 that he was seeing someone else and he left me the next day (Valentines Day). I thought what we had was strong enough and worth it enough to work through it but instead he wanted a divorce. So I am unemployed, getting a divorce which I did not want or ask for, and now am selling the house because we can’t afford it. I don’t know where I am going to live with me and my two boys.
    He has since admitted that he has lied to me continuously throughout our marriage and as a result my perspective and his perspective of our marriage are completely different. I was betrayed and hurt down to my core. Going through this is by far the worst thing that has every happened to me.
    He lost 3 jobs and went back to school for 2 years and I supported him throughout it all. However, when I needed him as my rock during my unemployment, he not only let me down but he added to it by leaving me for another woman.
    There were days when I couldn’t get off the couch and couldn’t stop crying. An experience like this is paralyzing because you are all of sudden alone, and suffering a huge loss. (He too was my best friend and I miss him terribly). It’s easy for friends to encourage you into a life without and to tell you that you can do better….however, none of the well intentioned comments help the hurt and despair felt by your heart.
    I am looking forward to the next episodes to see what happens and how yall deal with the issues. Good luck.

  • Jessica

    I love how honest and real you are on the show. You need a good scream, and a big glass of wine . I love that you are willing to try to work on it, for better or worse is what we vow to do. If you need help from an experienced mom of 2, i am willing to teach you some tricks that might make your mornings a little easier. good luck!

  • Erin Rabatin

    Can’t imagine what you are going through after watching the premiere. I hope in the end you find happiness. Your children are beautiful and be thankful that you have them to keep you strong. Wish you all the best! <3

  • Sonya

    Powerful & Real. I applaud your courage. Thank you for sharing your story. Prayers sent up for you & your family. Godspeed.

  • Chelsea Knowlton

    Tori I was balling all through last nights episode. I am so glad you decided to share this difficult time in your life with us. As I would be walking through the main aisle of the grocery store, I would see the magazines mentioning Dean’s betrayal. I kept ignoring them thinking they were just attacking your family again, for no reason. I was waiting for you to post your side of the story, like you have in the past. Just like when Stella saw a tabloid saying you and Dean were getting a divorce, about a year ago, in the check out line. I think it was a fantastic idea of you to put this battle into a tv show, rather than trying to explain everything on here. You have been my mommy mentor, before I was even a mother myself, with Home Sweet Hollywood. You have always put your little family first, like it should be. I cannot wait to see how this whole thing plays out, and I am hoping in the long run that you are happy. You are a kind, beautiful, and loving person, who deserves to have the happy ending that YOU want. Don’t let the rest of the world tell you how it should be.

  • Carey

    My mind is blown at how many people are in support of this abusive and pathetic woman. It was obviously scripted and you have never been a good actor, Tori. You have had months to deal with this and it all could have been done privately, without putting your sad and disgusting life and your poor innocent children’s life, in the spot light. This was timed perfectly. You have a great publicist…Isn’t your ridiculous show coming out soon too? Hmmm, coincidence, I think NOT! Perhaps, you should take a hard look at yourself and get sober too. Oh, and just a hint for next time, don’t take so many “pain pills” before the cameras film you….you’re not very good at hiding it. I hope Dean divorces you and takes those children away from a “mother”, who only cares about fame. It makes me sick. You make me sick.

    • Shelley335

      Why do people like you have to behave this way? I just don’t understand how this makes you feel better to talk to another human this way. IF it is scripted why the hell do you care? People like you intrigue me. I always think that people who have hate like this have hate in their own heart and are the ones that need to look at themselves in the mirror.

      • sue

        I have been thinking the same thing Shelley- I came to this board bc I am interested in Tori, and hope my few words will offer her strength & support when she needs it. Why are women (and some men) so ready to spit fire? I am a pretty happy person, are you?

        • Shelley335

          Yes I am :) I have had rough times and I am thankful that I am not a celebrity because people like Carey exist and would just be gross like she is here. Not sure why people feel the need to go to someones page that they obviously don’t like and just rage on them. Were all human, we all make mistakes, we shouldn’t have to have complete strangers tear you down even more for their own personal joy.

    • Tracy S

      The woman Dean cheated with chose to make this public. This ALL happened to Tori, not because of her. If ya don’t like the way her story is being told, then don’t listen to the story.

    • colleen

      did she take pain pills?? I didn’t see that?

    • Peggy Lynch

      he doesn’t work, someone hasto

    • Jenn W

      Stop trolling!!

  • Shelley335

    Watching you last night was like looking in the mirror. We have been together the same amount time as you and Dean. We met and fell in love just like you and Dean did, in the same circumstances. I was told countless times over and over again “Once a cheater always a cheater” I guess they were right, cause he did. It crushed me like no other. Yes he is my soul mate and lover but most importantly he was my best friend and that was what hurt most of all. Everybody’s relationship is their own. I was always that person that said “if he cheats, he’s gone!!!” until it happens to you, you have no right to judge or condemn. Cause I didn’t end it, we are still together. Yes there are bumps and times of wonder/questioning but you have to figure out who YOU are before you can fully figure this out. Yes it’s a relationship but YOU are the one that needs healing and YOU are the one that needs to look out for you. I will NEVER say leave him, keep him, you get what you deserve, etc. etc. cause that is not my place. I understand what you are going through and I understand why you are putting it out there publicly. People that want to say all their negative comments and judge are not YOU and are not in this situation. I admire you 100% and have love for you. I pray that in the end you are happy with the you that you chose. I know I am.

  • Christina Austin

    I heard your show was on last night, but I have no idea what network or channel/time it was on, or else I would have watched it! Though I was not married to my cheater, the feelings are still raw, and I feel for you. There is always a sign it will happen, and of course, if they do it with someone else, chances are, they will cheat on you. I found out much later about my cheater, he was cheated on in his marriage, but failed to mention he was cheating on me with her while we were dating. I found out myself a different way. Also, I know now that he to was cheating on her with a woman that is also married, during their marriage, and while dating me, he doesn’t know I know this. Eventually, he again cheated on me the final time(emotionally this time), he broke it off with me before it got physical. In the meantime, between those weeks of getting to know her, he was sleeping with his ex wife, and myself, all the while lying to her. Here’s the catch, he seems like the sweetest, most sincere man, the man of your dreams. You would never know he cheated, and I’m sure the new girl will never know when he does. Is it better not to know? Maybe. It for sure can destroy a life. I found out I was pregnant after our final break up. This man, who is a father to his other two, has chosen to never see his child(my child with him). I still don’t understand how this new woman can be with a man that would chose that. Does she also believe that a child is better without his father like he does? Perhaps her life is too cozy with him, and he is way too cozy with it to disrupt it with another child in the mix. Both selfish people. Believe me girl, I would love to call him out to the world publicly on a show, as I’m sure he hasn’t told his friends and most of his family of what a d-bag he is, but, my son needs his mother to stay sane :p l It’s hard, I understand. Seek comfort in being a mother, they need you the most. They don’t care what mommy and daddy are going through, as long as they are there for them at the end of the day. It will be hard, but you can get through it all, fake smiles work the best on the roughest days, I know personally:) Four kids is alot to handle on your own, I really hope you have some support! I am completely alone in my struggle, it’s amazing that my poor son, who was in the hospital for 3 months of his life, and continues with struggles, is smiling the way he does! I’m cracking on the inside, but he makes me smile on the outside when he gives me that “look”, I melt. Forgive if you can, but do what’s right for you! I can’t imagine the pain, especially when the world knows. It takes a long time to heal, I hope you can do so, no matter what your decisions!

    Christina
    Love from Calgary, Canada!

  • alisgam

    SO sorry for you. been there, done that. please take care of yourself. you must be exhausted and are looking very thin…those amazing children need you….all of you, and then some. take a bit of time to pamper yourself once and awhile and let your friends comfort you. stay strong.

  • Theexceptionnottherule

    Your friends don’t understand that you are trying to do what is best for you and your family. Sure it is easy to say you will leave him–Really leave your soulmate, your best friend and the father of your children? You made a vow and that meant something to you. You owe it for all those reasons to seek help and see what can be saved here. You owe it to yourself and your children to fight. No one can understand what strength is needed to stay until in that situation. The problem now is if you stay you will always know what your friends thought you should do and some trust is broken with them, sometimes friends need to just be there and NOT give their opinion. Really they would rather see you a single mom? Listen to yourself look how far you have come and do what is best for you and your children because at the end of the day who fights for you is who you should fight for. Thank you for sharing your story and being so so brave and strong.

  • colleen

    Not all attention is good attention Tori. I feel sorry for you in a sad pathetic way. You are the first to show betrayal on tv reality but sadly as a early childhood educator I find it horrific that you would subject your children to this pitiful scene. You talked about the headmaster of the kids school…..maybe if her hands were not being buttered v with big money she would have told you your a bad mother putting your kids on a show about the dad cheating with some bimbo from Canada,,,what example is Dean showing Liam??????????? The show pushes my buttons while I prepare my kids lunches for the the morning

  • stephaniejinx2

    I loved the show I found myself sitting there with my live in boyfriend of two years and crying . As we are dealing with internet cheating. I applauded you for doing this. All to often we think the lives of stars are rainbows but the truth you are a women and he is a man and there are huge mistakes happen that change the lives of everyone . Continue to stand tall . I will co tinkie to watch . And as s I try to figure out what I DID wrong . deep down I know I didnt then I hope that you find that place also. stephaniejinx2@yahoo.com

  • Joni

    I was betrayed as well, Tori. I was with my husband for 21 years. Our 2 boys at the time were 13 and 11. It was devastating to me but I stayed in our home for the sake of our boys. After 3 years I couldn’t handle it anymore, I decided to move out. It was tough because I was with this man since the age of 18. Our boys were better able to deal with our situation as they were a few years older when we dissolved our marriage. My husband told me that he fell out of love with me. Very tough for me. It took me years to fall out of love with him. We are still friends today. Our boys grew into respectable, loving, responsible adults and they are protective of there mom. It was difficult watching you last night..I just wanted to pick up the phone to call you or give you a hug and tell you all will be ok. Mehran was very supporting to you but your gal friends seemed bitter. You need support not people telling you how horrible and wrong Dean was. You already know that. I wish you and your children happiness and love. You are in my prayers. Love.

  • ash

    Don’t worry about what people say or think. You are a strong independent woman and mother who should do what is right for her and her kids not anyone else. We don’t walk in your shoes.

    Be strong, be proud and be a survivor. Trust in your heart and what is right for you.

  • Sonia C Rivera

    I cried with you Tori. I hope you follow your heart because only YOU know what it wants. You are a beautiful person & I hope everything works out the way you want it. Stay strong and I wish love & happiness for you and your family.

  • Vicky Burr Southard

    Ive been reading some of the comments and saw some comments on tv today about your show last night. Some thinking you shouldn’t put it out there for all to see….the kids are gonna know everything anyway eventually so why shouldn’t they hear the truth from you. Im like you in shock cause I really loved Dean and would never thought he would have cheated on you.Ive watched you guys on tv ever since before Liam was born.I would have never thought in a 1,000 yrs. this would happen.I just don’t know…

  • Celena

    After 10 years of marriage I was betrayed by not only my husband, but his whole
    Family. He made a baby with the other woman and she was months pregnant and his family knew, no one told me. I was home working and paying the bills. His child was almost 2 years old when our divorce was final. My husband lied over and over and couldn’t face me and he still couldn’t tell me he cheated and created a child with the woman during our marriage. I’m not a fan of cheating spouses and don’t think they will ever change. But even with the cameras rolling your pain showed. You both looked exhausted and stressed out. Dean admitting his betrayal was huge, my ex husband was a betraying lying coward. Your marriage and love could be strong enough to heal your hearts, time will tell. You will always have to have a togetherness for your children. I hope things get better for you. Haters are saying this is all fake and a money scam and bullying you about stupid things like how you look. Shame on them. Be real and you should have no regrets. Blessings for you Tori and your family.

  • katie dean

    I sooooo feel your pain. I know I only get to watch you on TV but I still feel like I know tour entire family I mean I watched from the beginning so I have basically watched your kids grow. I really feel like I’m going thru this with you and wish I could say something that will make you feel better. But ultimately the decision is yours Tori. Your friends and family will all have their opinions, but nobody can describe what your feeling. I hope that whatever choice you make you make it what you want it to be. And for you. Yes think of the kids as well but if your not happy they are not happy. People truly need to understand that this your decision and your life and this could take ages to get over and/or accept. You all are in my thougts. And whatever you decide is what you decide no one should judge you or the situation.
    Your Friend and Tru Fan
    Katie

  • Brittany

    Tori – You are very brave. I loved that the show was honest and that there was no filler, cuz who needs it right? You are a great mom. God will guide you through this. You have reached a new level of understanding of your patterns and are ready to break them! Good girl!!

  • Peggy

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I can remember saying to my then husband “If you tell me it is not true, I will believe you” He said it was true and I fell apart and wanted to know all details. Listen young lady, I am 72 yr.old Canadian and I know what I am talking about. When you first married Dean I was worried. I am sure he was and is in love with you but he has been so very spoiled by you and perhaps his ex-wife that there is no coming back. He is far more in love with himself than with anybody else including all his kids. For him to say that he didn’t get enough sex from you is ridiculous. You had babies less than a year apart. You have to stop blaming yourself. He is responsible for his own choices. Maybe you don’t want to give up on this marriage because of your family’s reaction when you began your relationship with him. Maybe you want to prove that you can make it work. I want you to walk away with your head held high. I want you to call your Mom and say, “I need your support” and be prepared for negative reaction. It doesn’t matter. Your father is watching over you so proud of all that you have accomplished. Your marriage is not a failure. You have produced 4 lovely children who would rather be from a broken home that living in one.

  • Eliza

    Tori, what do you think is best for you and the kids? You go through tough experiences like anyone else and it’s great that you’re honest and real about it. But by choosing to do this show, you’ve made your personal life public, and your kids will eventually see how their father treated you. Follow your heart, but try to think about the message you’re sending to your kids if you stay with a cheating husband. Your children learn what “normal” is by watching mom and dad. Do you want your daughters to think they’re unworthy of a faithful man? Do you want your son to treat women with that kind of disrespect? Not to mention, don’t you believe you deserve better? I’ll keep your family in my thoughts. Please take care. Do what’s best for yourself and those precious children. Dean made a conscious choice to betray your family, now he needs to deal with the consequences that you deem appropriate.

  • Wikiworf

    Was channel hopping, and stopped when I saw you. Seriously, you need to eat! You are way too thin to be healthy. Your children need you more than ever, but you need both inner and physical strength.

    For all those posters who are saying things about Tori televising her children, you must remember who Tori Spelling is. She was raised by a TV family; fashion model mother, mega-producer father. She is an actress who married an actor. She would naturally turn to TV to work out her problems.

  • M.W.

    I have never written on one of these comments, but after watching true tori the first episode I wanted to reach out. I’m a mom of four (7,5,3,9months) and my heart goes out to you. I am so proud of you for taking care of your beautiful children first and formost. They will get you through it all. You are strong, loving, and kind and you deserve happiness and a partner who respects you and treats you well. Seek support from your friends (you seem to have a lot!) and know I (and all of those other Mom’s out there) are just wishing you Inner strength and love for yourself in this difficult journey to come. Hang in there girl, you can do it.

  • Iz

    Have you thought about speaking to his first wife and see if he said the same exact things to her about changing and blah, blah, blah. Not to sound snarky, because I am FOR you. I’m just wondering if you are spinning your wheels here. He obviously chooses himself over everything else.

    I wish nothing but the best for you and those beautiful babies. God bless.

  • cr8zy army wife

    So many people have been in similiar situations and all I can say is that you need to follow your heart. I believe that too many people are quick to jump on the divorce wagon, when that is not what marriage is supposed to be about. Marriage is hard work, even so, there is no excuse for what he did. However; he owned it & is working on his issues. Don’t ever be ashamed of loving him, or being excited to see him. He is tour husband, faults and all. Take time for you, and work on how you feel before you make any final decisions. You’re an amazing mom and your kids are lucky to have you.

  • Cheryl

    Tori….you and your entire family are in thoughts and prayers. It’s difficult to know what the best decision will be, but in the end it should be based on what your heart is telling you is best for you and those special children. Good luck and pay no attention to the negative comments from the cynical people in the world. This isn’t about them. Keep your chin up you didn’t do anything wrong. Take care!

  • oceans

    You need to deal with this…but know that you may never be able to trust him again. I learned with a relation who had addiction issues….that you make no life changing Chanes in the first year. No divorce, No selling of buying a house…No Getting married….and DO not take him back at this time.
    He is weak right now…and being “Sorry” or missing you and kids will not make a permanant change in him

  • Amber

    Can I just say…. Thank you. Your story sounds so much like mine right now, I am just a few months longer in this and was married to my high school sweet heart for 17 yrs. It is hard for me to read all of the negative comments, I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. It’s hard for people to understand what a person is going through in most circumstances unless you go through it for yourself and are in the same position. Thank you for sharing with those who have gone through this and are going through this. I would encourage others to find another mother who has gone through this, seek a counselor for yourself and the children and seek God, He will never leave you. Be encouraged and empowered. God Bless.

  • Cheryl6147

    I really like your new show, I think it is great that your letting everyone know the real truth because we all know how those poparotsies will print anything to make a buck,which is sad. I think your doing a great job with your children doing it all on your own with everything that is going on in your life. I hope things work out the way you want them to and no one else. You just keep up the good work with everything your doing and dont worry about these people and their negative attitudes.

  • DebbieinPrescott

    Tori, I watched your show and was very impressed how brave you are! You are a beautiful woman and a great Mom! Some people have demons in their past and need to work through them. It’s good that Dean is getting professional help. Don’t listen to the negative people out there. You are very brave and need to be strong for your kids. Please remember to take care of yourself!!!!! Don’t worry about next week or next month just try to get through 1 day at a time. Love from Prescott, AZ.

  • Taylor

    Just because Tori did this to someone else doesn’t mean she deserved this! People saying that are ridiculous. If people don’t like that this is being putting on TV then don’t watch it. Tori, I think what you’re doing is great. You’re doing what other women have been to scared to do. I know personally you’ve helped me through what happened to me.

  • Rosie Baxter

    Tori, people will say what they want…. Let me say that one day your children will look back and see a mother who was REAL!!! A mother who loved, hurt, fought, and would go to a ends to FORGIVE! Now that does not mean that you both will stay together but you are doing this in all the right ways to try to! I think they will admire that their parents showed that just because you are in Hollywood or have a certain upbringing you are still HUMAN and have real raw feelings! I myself am a mom of four 2 girls and 2 boys and I so related to your crazy mornings and the reality of life going on even when the walls have come down around you. I am praying for you and I know you will come through this stronger and wiser then before! Your children are blessed to have you and your doing an amazing job! Keep going and don’t give up on YOU!!

  • Pam

    I have been through the same thing. My husband cheated on me and our second child had just turned 1 and our oldest was 3. I was devastated. I did not want my kids to go through a divorce because I had been through that as a child. The hardest part for me was that my husband thought he was in love with this other woman who dropped him immediately. I had to just be there for him as a friend and once he kind of saw the light that she was using him we were able to go through counseling. This all happened 4 years ago now and we are now in a much happier/healthier relationship. It may be hard now but go through the work and it can be worth it. Sending you all kinds of support from the Midwest.

  • Berek

    I may have not have children nor am I married and going through difficult crisis but I know that you are much more stronger than you think you are. You’ll never know what The Lord can bless you with and he has blessed you enough with a beautiful family. Keep faith and think optimistically and expect nothing but the best in times of grief. In my opinion I believe that you should take your heart and give it to someone who would cherish it and appreciate you and if you choose to stay with Dean I wish nothing but love & happiness along your difficult journey of overcoming this tough time. You’re a beautiful women you can handle this xoxo. <3

  • Peggy Lynch

    Raw, honest and heartbreaking. It needed to be told. I pray you stick to your guns. You cant change a leopards spots. I’ve been there

  • Toni

    Tori…take him or leave him but focus on yourself and your four children. Those kids and you have to come first now…he needs to be in last place. The only other advice I would give is that if you forgive him, be sure you forgive him and let it go…if you can’t let it go, don’t stay with him. It will make both of you and your children miserable. Best of luck sweetheart…I hope it all gets better for you and yours.

  • Melissa

    My heart broke with you as I watched the show last night. I greatly admire the strength and bravery it took to be that open, honest, and raw. What I’ve learned from similar situations is that sometimes it takes something this huge, painful, and downright soul-crushing to grow in your life and/or relationship. Because it can show you who you truly are and who he truly is, you can start anew with that knowledge and lessons learned. Sometimes it takes something like this to get to the next stage. Regardless of what you choose to do, I wish you and your family love and healing.

  • Cdnsue

    You deserve better, but most importantly your children do! Family is always going to be there no matter what. He has done this twice now, it’s him not you that’s the problem. Walk away with dignity and self respect, if not be prepared for more to come.

  • Kaethe M

    I truely hope that you let the negative comments go. People can be so cruel!! I have been a fan since 90210. I cried last night watching your show. I am in awe that you are able to be so real and put this out there. I am also a mother of four and I think you are awesome for what you are doing and how you are handling what you are going through!!

  • Maggie

    I love you Tori, I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope that you and Dean can find peace in whatever you both decide. You are a strong woman and an incredible Mom. You have done what you belive to be right and ONLY YOU could make that choice. Best of luck to you xo

  • elizabeth compean

    Anyone suffering from this type of betrayal, adultery, pornograghy, masterbation, even lust, can heal with God’s help. There is a great workbook series for women and even for the cheaters aka sex addicts called F.w.o( for women only) on Pure Desire ministries website. It explains how affairs or the high from the attention, etc, becomes addictive. It explains to the T the lies and behavior you’ve recieved from your spouse in workbook one. If you can find a FWO support group in your area join it. You will be understood and supported. The men’s workbook is called FMO (for men only) there is also a support group for them as well and it has accountability partners and software monitoring system they can install called “Covenant eyes” for their accountability partner to monitor activity.

  • Jennifer

    It takes a lot of strength to share your story! As I watched, I choked back the tears so many times. I believe that your story will help others who may be going thru the same sort of situation. To the others who are using this site to post negative comments – all we should be supporting one another not tearing each other down! Tori – Wishing you continued strength and a sense of peace as you are going thru this difficult situation.

  • Jamie

    Your mornings look just like my mornings. I have three girls from 2-8. I loved the toilet paper roll on the paper towel holder. Kept strong mama. No matter what happens in the end you have to make sure your happy. Because if your not happy those babies won’t be happy. Ps. Call me :)

  • Marsha

    I watched the episode and want to say, “Tori, no matter what, you are a beautiful, intelligent, loving human being and you should put your feelings first. Doesn’t matter if you stay married or not, it seems as if you need to realize you’re worth it. Yes, I realize it is hard with 4 kids but keep the faith. No matter what everything will work out and the sun will shine again.”

  • La la

    Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story! It’s difficult and it takes courage o be vulnerable and open about something so private but hopefully the process is cathartic for you.

    I felt compelled to reach out to you because I can really relate to what you’re going through and feel so much compassion and empathy for you. My husband and I have been together for nine years and married for five years we have two little girls age 5 and seven and we always had what to my knowledge was a happy life always believed he was happy. In November last year he basically walked out on our marriage for reasons I still don’t understand-There was no alcohol or drug issue no infidelity at least on my part and not on his that I’m aware of. Watching your show I completely related to what you were feeling missing your best friend and having your whole life turned upside down basically overnight. It’s devastating and feels like you’re living in some sort of alternate universe. I just thought you might want to know that other people do understand to certain extent what you’re going through and sometimes just knowing that can make you feel better.

    I also completely relate to The scene of you getting your kids ready for school in the morning and saying it was the most difficult time of your day. It’s mine too because you’re not only dealing with your own emotional pain regarding your marriage but you’re also having to deal with the frustration of being a single mom At least temporarily. And it’s so hard. Thank you also for admitting that your kids have been late to school since this started-My kids have been late to school several times in the last four months as well and I had kind of been being myself up about that so seeing you admit it kind of made me feel a little better. That’s kind of my point is just knowing that other people have gone through and are going through a similar situation makes you feel a little better. You seem to be a really great mom and like you said you’re doing the best you can. Take comfort in knowing that you’re showing them a strong mother who really can handle things on her own(even though I know you don’t always feel like u can).
    Thank you again for sharing your story. It seems like you have a great support group of friends around you so hopefully that’s one of the things that will help get you through this. I hope you remember o make a decision that you feel is right for you and your family and don’t make a decision based on what people would expect you to do or what they hink they would do in this situation. You have to make decisions about your marriage that only you have to live with. My heart goes out to you and your family!

  • Julie

    Tori, I watched last night and my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you can make the best decision for you and the kids. I too have experience infidelity in my marriage but there is hope that you can work it out if its what is truly in your heart to stay with Dean. As I’ve read in some of the other comments, if you decide to forgive its true that you have to forget it and move on. If you hold onto mistrust it will only hurt your relationship and keep you from moving forward or moving on. We’ve been able to overcome and heal and things do get better-in fact our relationship is better than its ever been. Sometimes a situation like this makes you face your fears head on and you find strength you never knew you had. Find your voice and don’t be afraid to speak your mind, being open and honest about how you’re feeling will help you work things out. Your family is in my prayers. God bless you.

  • Autumn

    I am a Newleywed and I love your show, all of them! I looked to you and dean as role models for my marriage, my parents got divorced and were each married before and divorced before, I love tori and still do! I watched last night because I wanted to know the truth! I think you are are very strong women and I respect you sooo much for everything you do! I want to say thank you for coming forward with your story! Xoxo

  • La la

    It is so heartbreaking to hear you say “What did I do ?” Uuggh…I totally know that feeling! When my husband walked out of our marriage (for no reason) I kept asking myself that too- what did I do? what could I have done differently? And it’s torture because we do think it’s something we did wrong . Listening to your friend tell you that it could be his issue and to stop blaming yourself is kind of a lightbulb moment for me because my friends have told me the exact same thing! And just maybe they’re right!!

  • Dawn Macias

    Tori…. I have been through the same thing as many on this post have. I was a single mom of 4 kids (that includes a set of twin boys) for years. I dealt with betrayal the same as you. Always putting everyone else first, everyone but me. But it’s unhealthy because at some point physically you crash. For me I got walking pneumonia and then had to have my gallbladder out. I would lose mass amounts of weight and feel tired all the time. Because I always just did what I had to do for my kids and I to survive. No one can tell you what to do. It’s your life but I can tell you that you deserve to be happy. In order for you to be the best possible mommy for your kids YOU need to be happy. I can promise you that if you stay in your marriage and you’re unhappy, when your kids grow up they will not thank you for sacrificing your happiness for theirs. Kids do not expect that from us. They do expect a happy mommy who is not stressed beyond reason who they can make happy memories with. I speak from experience. If you’re not happy your kids are not happy. I was a better mommy once I left that relationship and my kids were happier too. You are a wonderful person who deserves to be loved as much as you love. Sometimes you can’t fix people but you can fix the situation. At 37 I finally found the man of my dreams who also loves my children. For the first time in my life I feel completely loved. I wish that for you…. no matter what choice you make. You are brave for sharing your story. Everyone heals differently, if you feel the need to share your side of the story to help you heal than go ahead and do it! I’m a talker… I have to talk through everything so I understand. I wish you the best :)

  • michele

    I think it is horrible that anyone would go on this site and say such horrible things to Tori and about Tori. Can’t you see how tortured and tormented she is? She is right that strangers are making money off lies about her life and she should take power back for her and her children by telling the truth. She is not saying anything derogatory about her children’s father, she is speaking the truth about what he did. Honesty is always the best way to go and she is teaching her children that. They will see how strong she is, how human she is and how she worked hard to do the right thing for her children. I do feel sad that Tori feels that any of this is her fault, it is not!!! I see her struggle with learning dean’s actions stem from childhood issues but I think she should speak to his therapists so they can tell her that is no excuse. Dean has to be accountable and do the work to get better if possible and you need to do your own work. Breaking trust is the worst thing to do in a marriage. I do believe in second chances as long as a concrete plan is in place with constant work being done on the plan. It will be a long road and your marriage will never be the same but I think it is possible to be even better because if Dean really commits to changing you will have a whole honest husband for the first time. My heart goes out to you and your family and I wish you nothing but health and happiness. I have been watching your love story since the beginning so I am praying for you. I am the mother of 7 and have been married for 18 years so I have some perspective about the challenges of marriage and raising children.

  • Margaret

    Tori lives in the spotlight. This must b the only way she feels she can combat the misinformation out there. We really cannot judge her because none of us knows what its like to live like she has. But what I can say is forgiveness frees your soul. Its what healed me along with God and my children. Betrayal by the one you love most in this world is devastating but the strength you gain by facing it, forgiving and becoming a strong independent woman is priceless. You have to choose whether you want to live with this man or not. But eithet way forgiveness will bring u peace. God gives us challenges to learn and grow so pick yourself up and tell yourself I can do this. You will b amazed at how strong u really are.

  • Lg

    I feel for u. Been in a similar situation. I cried along with u watching bc I know what u r going thru. I have 2 young girls and for me our family and 9 yrs of marriage was worth fighting for. Therapy and talking about it really helps!!! Don’t hold it in or u can never heal and move past it. Good luck!!!

  • WW

    It was a heart wrenching show. But, I think it’s good for you to show your side of things. The story gets told anyway by the media, but a twisted version. It’s good to see someone working on their marriage instead of just throwing it away. No matter how it ends up, at least you know you tried, for your children, and for your marriage. Betrayals can be overcome. Marriages can be made even stronger.

  • Lois

    I feel bad for you. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I don’t know how you can take him back. He is a slug and doesn’t deserve you or your children. Hang in there. Praying for you.

  • Cindy Lee

    Hi Tori,
    I just want to say how touching the show was and I cried with you. I love you and Dean. Have since the beginning. My husband is also my best friend! We also fell in love the same way you two did. He was still married. He then cheated on me. I’m here to say do not give up on Dean. He can change and I believe he will for you. Our relationship has had some challenges but today we are very happy. The sadness we felt without each other was enough to change him. I’m thankful everyday I let him back in my life!! I hope this helps a little and I will continue to watch and support you.
    Big fan,
    Cindy

  • catherine

    I have never posted an opinion on any social media, so this is a first. I felt compelled to comment because I felt such empathy after watching your documentary last night. When I watched you struggling with the day-to-day chaos of being a mom, and trying to deal with such pain and betrayal in your married relationship, I was filled with such emotion. I remember those days with young children, they can be so difficult. It was obvious that you are also balancing the delicate job of protecting your kids from all the madness. Its obvious you are a wonderful mother and devoted wife. Whatever you decide in the months and years ahead, keep being the Mom that you are! Know that you have other Moms supporting you, and wishing you much success. Your husband will hopefully receive the help he needs, and together you both can heal. Its always best to say you have done everything possible before you walk away. I am rooting for you and your family.

  • G

    T
    I came across the show totally by accident last night and NEVER post but oddly enough I found myself thinking of you throughout the day. Know that I’m sending nothing but positive thoughts and prayers your way!!

  • Jills

    I haven’t been in your situation. I just wanted to tell you that I really feel for you and I hope you find peace and happiness. P.S. Your children are beautiful, you are very blessed!

  • La la

    Thank you for having the courage and being brave enough to share your story! It’s difficult to be vulnerable and hopefully this process will be cathartic for you.

    Watching your show I felt such a connection to you and what you’re going through. I have been with my husband for nine years we were married for five and we have two girls- ages five and seven. In November 2013 he basically walked out of our marriage for reasons I still don’t understand there was no infidelity no alcohol or drug issue. But I just relate to the pain ou’re going through missing your best friend and having your life turned upside down almost overnight. It’s confusing and devastating. I think the hardest thing for people to understand is that your pain involves not only what you’re living through in the moment but also the pain of now not knowing what your future holds. You saw your life going in a certain direction and you felt the security of knowing what that direction was and then overnight it’s shattered.

    Thank you for sharing what a lot of us are going through! I really related to your mornings getting your children ready for school that’s my most difficult part of the day as well. It was nice to hear you admit that they have been late to school since this all started because my kids have been late several times as well and I was kind of beating myself up for that but knowing it wasn’t so uncommon made me feel better. It’s just so much work Handling it all on your own. You’re dealing with your own pain regarding your marriage and not having your best friend as well as dealing with the difficulties of being the only caregiver to your children and its exhausting. I have also thought a lot of times exactly what you said about wanting to have your husband back so you can have the help. I Really resented my husband for that! I kept thinking this is not what I signed up for – i did not sign up to be a single parent I wanted to do this with my best friend and my partner!
    You have four kids Tori! thats ALOT of work! you seem to be such an amazing mom and you should take comfort in knowing that you are showing them what a strong mother you are! You CAN handle things on your own- even though I know you don’t always feel that way.
    Just remember to make the decision that is right for you and your family. Don’t make decisions about your marriage based on what you think other people would expect you to do in this situation. No one knows how they would feel of what they would do until you’re in it and only YOU have to live with your decision.
    My heart goes out to you and your family! Stay strong and keep confiding in your friends -having that support system is really going to help you make it through this. The people that love you will help! Also maybe knowing that other people understand what you’re going through will also help.

  • Shannonaleab

    Hi Tori,
    I know some of the media is giving you a hard time about sharing your story. I waited for it, put the kids to bed early, so I could watch it. I am glad you shared your story as I have and am going through the same thing only a worse, ,maybe. I dont know. I wanted to see how you are handling it all. You are awesome and very brave and you are helping people like me.
    My husband also had an affair, it might not of been his first. He also was abusive to me for about 14 years, we have been married 16 years with two kids, one age 13 now and one age 8 now.
    I and half (Aug 3rd, 2012( years ago my husband, who is a Physician had me committed to a Psych ward involuntarily. He claimed as a Physician and he had also persauded other Phusicians to go alone with him, that I was : “alcoholic, drug addict, suicidal, homicidal, mentally ill, had early dementia and worst of all, a child abuser. He had taken out children who he drove to school for one year and they told me me all he did was talk bad about me, mom is this, mom is that. He took them behind my back, had them brain washed at the ages of 11 and 6 that I did indeed abuse them. Everything was twisted and turned into worst case scenario. Because of the abuse from him I should of left him 2 months after we were married when it all started, but 14 years later, I was too beaten down to even know how to make a decision. So there comes the night I go away with our daughter as he had been threatening me the night before to have me committed, and I have been in counseling since 2005 for his abuse as well as gone to abuse center. My counselor told me to take the kids and spend the night away from home and so did the abuse center. Our son spent night with friend, my daughter and I went to hotel and out to eat , a girls night. She was 6 then. After we got back from eating around 9 at night a knock on the hotel door and of course it was the Sheriffs Dept. My husband filed papers with no proof and on the word of other Physicians who had never met me , to have me committed, and not only that, he had a restraining order put on me so I could not come near him or our children. So for three days I spent the weekend in a Physch ward and out on Tuesday morning with Family waiting for me, and a very expensive lawyer waiting for me. Of course all of his claims against me were proven false. I am none of the above. My lawyer and family told me that they were certain my husband had a girlfriend. I thought, no way. He was just concerned about me thats why he did what he did. But, remember he abused me in every way for 14 years before that. They convinced me to look into the phone records. I found out he did have a girlfriend and had had her for about 8 months. She is a Nurse in hospital he still works at. We had a private eye follow him and her until I could get him out of house and I could get back in the house. Once we had all the evidence together including actually phonts of him and her together, and actual text messages they had been writing to each other, over 2,000 a month. Ridiculous. He was confronted with papers to his lawyer after I had already filed for divorce. I had not seen my kids in two weeks. After his lawyer relieved the new papers which had all the evidence of his affair in it, as well as photos I had taken of myself when he injured me in various ways, such as slamming my head in top load wash machine, my husband agreed to drop restraining order and move out of house. His and his girlfriends intentions were to get rid of me in any way possible but not lose his children or his money. Once they were found out, they , or my husband realized he was going to lose more then everything he had, his money and his family. They night before we were to go to court for temporary support ad child support which was alot a month, not as much, Im sure as you would get , but alot, he faked a heart attack so the court hearing was canceled. After he got out of hospital from his fake heart attack , he moved out of our house and of course I got the house and kids. It was a terrible time of confusion for me with everyone telling me what to do. I had been abused for years, I did not have a mind of my own, and was so lost and so helpless and so dependent on him for everything. As you said, “He was my best friend”, but he lied to me and abuse me for years. I did not know what to do. I had filed for divorce as I had no choice as it was a way to get the truth out and for me to get back into house and him out. He stayed gone for 4 months, but I could not keep the courts waiting, did I want a divorce or didnt I? I did not know what to do, as like I said I was incapable of making a strong decision at that time. I still struggle so hard just to be the real me every day, and not live in fear. He was repentent , he wanted to move back home , of course as he had nothing if he did not get me back.His younger girlfriend did not want him with out all his money. So after 4 months I let him move back in. I still do not trust him to this day. I do love him, more because he is the father of my children and to picture my life without him, well…..I just cant even imagine what it would be like with the two kids. They had a horrible time adjusting to him not being here at home. They never did adjust to his being gone, so I took him back.He has changed. No more abuse, no more yelling at me, no more anything,. but kindness to me in all ways. However, you were right when you said, “is love enough?” I live every day wondering if he is plotting something new behind my back. I have no trust whatsoever for him. I AM stronger now , way stronger as I am not being abused. I wish now I WOULD of let the younger women have him and divorced him. Iwould of been an adjustment, but with out trust my life is miserable. Not as miserable as when he abused me, but I am not happy with him. I like it when he is gone. If I had been stronger at that time, Iwoudl of taken my attorneys advice and divorced him and sued, not only his girlfriend and her lawyer friend , but the other Physicians who helped him put me in hell in the Phsch ward, who put me through Hell for the two weeks I was fighting to see my children. I am only here now for the kids, that is all. As long as he is good to me I will stay. I would not advise you to stay. You dont even have the huge lies and walls to get over that I do, but it is so hard and I sometimes wonder if I will ever trust him. I watch everything I say to him, everything I do around him, I put special apps on his phone to track him, and get his text messages sent to my email address. It is no way to live. I wish I could move on….;…………..I dont know how even with the help of my counselor. Once trust it lost ,I wonder if you can ever get it back. Think about that, think about me and how I live , wondering day to day what he will do next, wondering if he will again have an affair and what will he do next time to get “rid” of me. Shannon

    • Ris

      Shannon, I’m so sorry for what you wet through but you’re a dateline waiting to happen. Get away from that man before you “fall down the stairs.” Or something, im serious…I’m worried for you. That man does not have a conscious, best wishes to you.

  • Alyssa

    You are the strongest and bravest person I know. I love you and god bless.

  • Ava

    I feel sorry for the children! Tori should hire help if she can’t handle getting them to school on time, making lunches, etc. Lots of single moms make it work. But ladies, are we forgetting that she & Dean both cheated on their former spouses as well? What did Tori expect???

  • Joe Q Public

    To sum it up in a nutshell: Every time your spouse walks out the door, you are going to wonder 1) where he is? 2) who he is with?, and 3) what is he doing? To me, my sanity and self-respect is worth a lot more than that. As far as the traumatic childhood/addiction/bad choices blame game goes, many people have horrific things happen to them but they choose live like a decent person in spite of their circumstances. Maybe that helps and maybe it doesn’t. Anyone who says “I was bamboozled” needs to think long and hard about the long haul.

  • Alice

    Tori
    Sorry for your troubles, and I too had my husband cheat on me but his affair was an emotional online affair and not a physical one but I too asked him and myself – “what did I do to make you do this to me” and at the end of the day it was his problem and not mine – I was here and present……
    We are working through it because I too missed my best friend and soulmate and hope one day I can get beyond what he did……
    Follow your heart and do what works best for you and your kids……
    And by the way I am from Canada so please do not hate us Canadians for one person’s actions…..

    Peace and love to you at this time…….

  • anniefaith1

    I watched your first episode and my heart went out to you. This is a hard and a life changing situation to be going through but you are giving others strength by showing your story. I for one am have been greatly moved so far. Thank you for always holding your self with such graciousness.

  • Jen P

    My heart breaks for you as I went through the same thing. We worked things out but feel like I truly never got past it. It takes time. I did not want to lose my best friend. Things changed but we try to move forward. You are brave and graceful. In the end it’s your choice.

  • Pam

    I just watched the show and want you to know that I believe you are a very strong woman/mother. I am also a wife and mother and although I have never faced what you are facing, I admire your strength, courage and honesty. Please know there are some of us out there who are pulling for you and I really want you to work out what is best for you and your children.

  • Stevy

    No matter what you do your life will never be private. So putting yourself on tv for this is no different. My prayers are with you. Only you know what is right for your family.

  • Julie

    Infidelity causes so much pain. Even years later, when you think you have healed, there are triggers that occur and that knife like pain stabs you in the heart. It’s a daily effort to stay together and not turn bitter.
    What is amazing is that infidelity happens to so many of us. It’s our children who keep us moving forward when all you wish for is the night so you can be alone, then you lay awake praying for morning to come so you can be busy again.

  • Fran

    I really felt your pain watching the show. It’s also obvious that you still love Dean very much. It takes a very strong person to forgive when you’ve been betrayed in that way. It’s easy for people to sit back and criticize how someone should handle a situation like yours. You have a lot at stake considering you have 4 children. Take your time making a decision for all of you. Go with your gut and your heart will follow. God bless.

  • Shannon

    Good luck with everything you are going through I to have been in a difficult relatonship and at the end of the day you have to be at peace with your own decisions not what others think you should or shouldn’t do you seem to be a wonderful mom and a very smart woman I always rely on the fact that everything happens for a reason and it’s hard to understand that at the time it hurts and the pain doesn’t disappear it just gets a little easier with each day keep a good support system that always helps to and remember as hard as it is for the kids they need you to be strong to so make sure to take time for you to so you can be at your best and I really did enjoy the show and I think it was helpful!!!

  • Mandy Robinson

    I felt like it was so personal I shouldn’t be watching. I love that you are letting us in, but I felt like I was being sneaky and watching something I shouldn’t. I have to admit no matter what I love you with Dean. He is your soulmate. You have to figure out a way to make it work for both of you.

  • atrujillo

    I’m only 15 mins it and my heart is breaking…The same thing had happen to me..just be positive.

  • Lacy Christian

    I think you are amazing and strong! I do believe that you and Dean were made for each other! I hope everything is able to be what it was before! Good luck

  • Kat233

    I think Tori probably knows what is best for HER children. If so many people were not always in her business maybe she wouldn’t feel the need to have to publicly tell people what is really going on. Why are you reading about what’s going on? Why are watching them talk about her on tv? These are the reasons she wants the truth out there!

  • Kristin

    I am truly sorry for everything you guys are going thru. I am not sure if I could have my kids in the public eye if I was a celebrity going thru this. I admire how strong you are being Tori! Please remember that you need to feel your feelings to try and move on. Praying for your family!

  • Becky

    It was heartbreaking to watch. But i guess im just wondering why you are sharing something so personal so publicly.

  • Kay

    well i was shocked to say the least I cant believe that all the shows you and Dean did not once did anyone key into that Dean had some mega problems.Well while this whole situation does sadden me for you Tori and your kids,dean should had gotten help years ago!But i understand your thoughts of staying with him through the years dispite his drinking,but yes the kids need to come first!no i dont think he should come home right away.Dean needs to prove to you and the kids he’s trust worthy and their is no need for you to hurry to get him home to help with the kids.I have 3 kids of my own and 2 of the 3 have special needs so i know how stressful just raising 3 kids can be!But something you need to remember even though you put your kids first you need to take time for yourself and kinda not listen to friends alot you need to make your own decisions! And no i don’t see you doing this tv show a sad thing you said it best at the beginning of the show how everybody thinks that you growing up rich you have the best life you are just trying to tell the real story of what happened and that your not afraid to let the world know.you are a down to earth person in my opinion and very brave because i don’t think alot of people would have the guts to to it on national tv! Good luck to you and the kids and i hope Dean can get the help he needs!!!

  • Stephanie

    You talk about a soul mate and best friend. I’m sorry but Dean is either of those and you should let him go. The way he talked to you and did to you is no friend let alone best friend.

  • Elsie

    I feel compassion and love for you , you are strong to do this… And I agree, rather do it myself and take the power back instead of the media spreading their lies and version of the events… I always liked you and admired you,keep the spirit up and in period of doubt… turn to friends,family and God. The last one is the only one that can judge you anyway… don’t think about what haters say… I’m with you angel

  • susan morris

    I really enjoyed the show which is weird to say since the subject matter was obviously really sad. I’m not married so I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you & the choices you have ahead of you to make, but I appreciate your willingness to share the whole thing as well as tell your story yourself instead of letting the magazines & websites take that away and get it wrong. There has to be Moms out there, like you, that can relate to your situation and probably find some comfort in watching. Regardless I missed your TV show from Oxygen and was so glad to see you were coming back with a new reality show on Lifetime but bummed to see what the content would be only because it sucks you have to go through this. I love your sincerity on the show & wish you the best of luck. I’ll be watching again next week and hope you’re healing.

  • Sarah Prigge Griffin

    Some friends were talking about the show on Facebook today. Here is my response: I just finished watching the show. I feel like my heart is breaking with hers. Just watching, you knew the feelings and words were true and so raw. I’ve watched their shows from the very beginning and have always felt like they were genuine. I don’t care how much money either of them have, you can tell how much they are hurting. I think she’s very brave to record this part of her life. She’s right, she’s been in the media eye since she was little and she was never able to tell her story. I respect her even more now for putting herself out there. She could’ve hid and I would’ve respected that too, but she’s never been a coward. And maybe she’s telling her story so she can help the many other spouses watching and going through the same struggles, realize that they are not alone. She’s an amazing woman, in my book.

  • Suzanne Johnson

    So proud of you Tori. I love the show and think it is something that needs to be seen. Most of us woman hide what we are really going through when dealing with things like this.

  • Joann Esparza

    I think dean can get all the therapy he wants or to make you comfortable. Any man that would leave a family and cheat like he did with you with his ex i sense you are so overwhelmed with all those kids and trying to be the main breadwinner it takes a toll on you.Which leaves you are too tired to be having sex all the time like he wants, give him tons of attention and be like you were before the kids. You got too much on your plate he needs to sympathize . NO excuse to cheat but looks like he may have a sex addiction and a very high sex drive that you can’t accommodate for the douchebag. I say leave his ass you can do better it’s just a matter of time he will do it again but this time hide it better. Your career will boost if you leave him he’s just holding you down.He is not for you.

    • Stephanie

      Agreed

  • LAURAANN

    I love finally knowing the truth. Tabloids and paparazzi are all trying to get attention and don’t even pay attention to the truth. I loved the first episode and I can’t wait for the next.

  • Marissa

    1-karma for mary jo and charlie. Not just the infidelity but you mocked her infertility and almost cost her her adoption when dean divorced her out of the blue.

    2-someone who doesn’t have a conscious cannot grow a conscious. Dean will never change for the long haul. In a few years he will be at it again.

    3- you have multiple nannies. You’re photographed with them all the time, I thought you were going to be real,

    4 -your timeline is WAY off. Dean was home until mid january. You spent NYE and jan. 9 smiling together. You said he went right away in December and you hadn’t seen him.

    5- if this whole affair is a lie…your children will not forgive you as adults, they rather you sell your expensive storage than kardashian-I’ve their personal lives

    6- it’s disgusting you had that beautiful pit left for years with a woman who didn’t give a crap about whether it lived or died. You kept getting pets while having this dog boarded. You know tons of people or even on twitter you couldn’t have screened homes for it. The way you treat an animal shows your soul.

    7- you are emotionally blunted on this show, pills and alcohol together will suppress your CNS and stop your breathing. Stop mixing it.

  • LZ

    I’ve been thru this, and watching brought back all those REAL thoughts and emotions. It would be hard for me to accept criticism from others who haven’t gone through it. It’s not always black and white. Until you’ve actually been there, you can’t say how you would handle it…

  • Aubrey

    I Had a knot in my throat the entire show. I have so many feelings about it but mostly I feel great sympathy for you. I can’t believe how strong you are how great of a mother you truly are. I admire you and your strength. If I only had half the strength you have. Keep your head up things will get better and just have faith. I really hope things work out well for you and your family you deserve the world. Cancel out the negative focus on the positive. There is a lot of positive in this world keep your eyes open for It .

  • Tamara Pace

    I think you are very brave for putting it out there and I completely understand your choices on making it public in your words instead of letting the media turning it into something else. I myself am a mother of a young child and have been divorced for almost a year now. My ex husband betrayed me just as Dean has to you and your family. My husbands excuse was I didn’t give him enough attention. I wish you and your family the best of luck and if Dean is willing to work on changing I say why not try to make it work. You do love him and he is the father of your children. Last night watching the show brought back all the pain I dealt with and hearing you say some of the very words I expressed hit home.

  • Cheryl Shirley

    I watched it last night and hate to see you and the kids having to go thru all of that. You are a strong lady and dont deserve what Dean did. I know he loves you and the kids and hope everything works out the way its suppose to. Just know all of your fans are thinking & praying for you guys and will be behind you 110%! Hang in there you are loved!

  • Cole Nicci Clark

    It was going to be public no matter what you did so it’s so wonderful you get to do it in your voice! I thought you handled it like a mom of 4 would. Hearing you say you couldn’t feel it or you would fall a part and couldn’t be there for the kids was raw, honest and very real. And I loved seeing your friends be there for you! I am so rooting for you! Whatever that looks like! Go Mommy T!

  • randee

    Ont think you have allowed yourself to truly feel the emotions. You were being so strong for the kids you forgot to allow yourself to feel anything. I think you are an amazing woman who is helping other women in the same position. You go girl and allow yourself some time to feel.

  • JaNelle

    I think you are doing what you have to do for you. Do what you feel is right and Damn the ones who think they know what you should do. I have to work hard to keep my marriage on the right track. Every ones life is different. Ask yourself ” Can I ever Trust Dean again?”

  • Mary

    My then boyfriend and I moved from Ontario to BC and 2 months later I found out that before we left he had cheated on me. I was heart broken, I didnt know what to do. I left everything to be with him and had no one. Because of that we worked through our issues and have ended up getting married. Watching your show it was raw and brought back that emotion for me. I still have trust issues, which I dont think will ever go away, those thoughts of what he did will always be in the back of my mind. Thank you for opening up and letting the world know what was really going on. I know it is none of our business but its better to hear it straight from you than reading all these incredible stories in the magazines.

  • jenny

    Sorry for what ur going though I been with my husband for 11 years I would not be as brave as u are. Just remember u got 4 great kids that is always by ur side

  • Alicia

    Why shouldn’t she tell her story? Everyone is telling her story for her so why not tell it herself in her own way? Its no one elses right to tell her how she should cope, how she should deal with her relationship or what she should involve her children in. We have all had relationship issues and honestly they usually never stay in private, friends and familt are usually always brought into it. I wish you all the well Tori, with whatever you decide is best for you and your kids. I jave three boys and could noy imagine raising them all alone either.

  • Jenn

    I loved the show. You told the truth about everything and it really is the opposite of what the tabloids and media are portraying. I give you nothing but we’ll wishes. You will decide what is best for you and your beautiful children. You may not know what the future will be but at least you have family and friends to help you through your difficult journey. You will know what you need to do.

  • Tori C.

    Honestly I cried along with you. I’m not one to get all mushy when these reality celebs “go broke”, get divorced, go to rehab 3675336 times or pull the whole “whoa is me” crap, but girl… you are raw, real and are speaking for many many women (and men) going through really crappy times. I applaud you a billion times over for being so courageous sharing your truths even though at times they aren’t necessarily flattering, you are growing from this no matter what happens. I’ll be watching and rooting! From one Tori to another, you go girl!

  • gee

    Tori spelling my entire family loves you.. your strong, brave and not just a spoiled rich girl. What you have gone through is tough but you will figure it out! !

  • Camilla Millar

    im sorry tori to say that just because you and your hubby are public figures and think that u have the right to let you personal life be seen all over the world and that the world wants to see it has u sorely mistaken .. have a little self respect for yourself and move on out of this situation this is way to much information i needed or anyone needed to see. think about your kids and in the future how embarrassing it will be for them to know the ugly truth about what your husbabnd did to ruin your family . you should know once a cheater always a cheater .. shame on you and him .. we dont need to see all the ugly parts of your life . some things should be kept private.. if u stay with him then u are stupid .. grow up and move on find someone else that is worthy of u and please stop publicly dramatising this crap..

  • Lexi

    So much respect for you and your strength, Tori. You are a great mother, and you are doing a great job raising four kids alone.

  • nic

    Good for you standing your ground with Dean. I know this is devastating to you and your family. Sending love and light your way.

  • Kim

    I respect the fact that each person has their own journey in healing from betrayal so none of us can judge or determine what this entails for each of us. However, as a mother, a wife, and as a psychologist, it troubles me how exposed and vulnerable it made Tori to share her heart to that degree and very intimate details of her whole family’s life. I hope this process is healing for Tori, and there are no big regrets, but I have to admit I felt the desire to protect, and advise, “Share your heart with your closest, most trusted friends, who love you dearly, but not the world.” Its a matter of healthy boundaries, discernment with who to trust, and protecting one’s heart in sharing only with one’s innermost circle of loved ones, and not bearing one’s heart for the world’s attacks. I will say that Tori certainly revealed what a tender, loving, protective heart she has for her family, and a sincere desire to heal and repair her marriage. Honestly, as a wife of 29 years, mother of three, and a psychologist, I could not personally make the decision to remain in a marital relationship after a betrayal. I long ago discussed my boundaries and the realities of an ending, should my husband ever decide to take that road, and thankfully, this has not been the case in my life. I respect anyone though that makes the decision to attempt to forgive, trust, and heal a betrayal in a marriage such as this. But I know I am not a woman that is capable of repairing a betrayal such as this, even as a psychologist, and with all the years of experience I possess. It takes a better woman than I to be able to do this as I would never forget and could not live with the forever pain. However, every person has their own very personal decision to make in their marriage, especially with children involved. I wish Tori and her family true healing in the future and only the very best always in all that lies ahead.

  • Tiffany Calverley

    I thought it was incredibly raw and real. And even though I’m not you and I’ve never been through something like that, my heart broke for you and your kids. I used to avidly watch your Home Sweet Hollywood show and it was obvious to anyone the extreme amounts of love between you and Dean, and especially between both of you and your kids. I hope that no matter what, you get to a place where you are happy with whatever decision you make. Love you Tori. Keep going.

  • lauren rhys jones

    Regardless what anyones opinions are she will do what she wants. My heart hurts for anyone in that situation, but he was a cheater then and is STILL a cheater. Dean focusing on himself WITHOUT Tori there is good for him, he wouldn’t be able to change is they were together. And YOU need to do the same. Find your happy again. AND BTW, I didn’t judge you when putting on your lip gloss, gotta show him what he could potentially lose. We ❤ you Tori!

  • AdulTORI

    Not comfortable using my real name.

  • Jojo

    I fear you are going to make it too easy for Dean to come home in fear of raising your kids alone. I hope he steps up and truly earns it. Best of wishes to you and your beautfiful family. I hope for the happy ending you are looking for.

  • Christa Lee

    I didn’t make it thru the first 9mins and tears came to my eyes. My heart ached for you. I wanted to cry with/for you. So many people are judging and criticizing you. I think you’re an amazing, strong woman. I have been following you for years. I admire you’re commitment, dedication, and loyalty to your family and your husband. You’re such a brave woman to open up publicly about a situation that is so private and personal. I pray that you and Dean will have the strength, and determination to get through this difficult time. Xoxo

  • Laura

    I think Tori is getting hit pretty hard for This but I think she made a good choice. She is in the media, like it or not, she has to deal with that and the stories they create so at least this way she gains some control back. I think she is a very strong person to go through something so terrible with the whole world watching. I do however think she needs to be stronger when it comes to Dean. I know she loves him deeply but he cheated on her, betrayed her trust, betrayed his children at the same time, and I’m sure it wasn’t the first time he did it just the first time he got caught. She deserves better. He may be a wonderful father but I don’t think he makes a very old husband. In the show he almost seemed to be blaming her for his infidelity.

  • Jessica Spas Browning

    I appreciate you sharing your story so much. While my husband never physically cheated on me, he did in every other Essenes of the word within our first year of marriage. I can’t tell you how we got over that hurdle but through the grace of God we did and we’ve been married for ten years now, have two perfect babies with a third on the way. We’ve both changed and he’s wonderful and makes me feel cherished. The way I see it is if you want something had enough, if you want this marriage, you’ll figure out a way to have it no matter what it takes. Time can heal these wounds. Dean can find the healing he needs, you can find the healing you need. Your story was written for you before you were even born. You are right where you are meant to be in this exact moment in your life. Your book is not yet written; there’s many beautiful chapters to be written. Grow from this, learn from this , help others heal with your experience of this. I truly believe your story has a fairy tale ending. Thoughts and prayers and love for you and your family always.

  • Stephanie Michelle Oladell

    You’re made of stronger stuff than i am, if you can forgive and try to restore your marriage. I don’t think i could handle the betrayal, and the loss of trusting them.
    But can understand whatever decision you make. I support you, Tori! Much love to you and your family!!

  • Trish

    Tori, watching the rawness you expressed was amazing. I’ve always loved your shows but sometimes it felt “too much”. For you to put your heart out on the line like that last night was amazing. I cried and felt for you every minute of the show. I totally related to you as you were getting the kids ready for school and your voice started to waver. You are amazing. An amazing mother and an amazing wife. Stay strong and I hope you guys can work through this. ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

  • Stephanie E.

    You are such a strong woman. Watching your show I must say was heartbreaking. As a mother of 4 young children myself I couldnt imagine the numbness and pain u are going through. I put myself into your shoes and look up to you for handling it the way you did. As a celebrity I know u are in the light far more than a average person but you are still real, you still have feelings…. and everyone needs time as you said to think and voice your side. I love how real and honest you ate Tori. My heart was aching as I watched your first episode. I will continue to watch and pray that God heals all wounds and somehow puts your sweet little family back together again and that you will be stronger than ever. In my heart and prayers. Love u and your sweet family.

  • Robin

    When you notice Milk is spoiled when you take it out of your refrigerator. What do you do with it? Do you put it back in the refrigerator or do you throw it out? Deep down you know what is best for you and your family, it certainly won’t be the easiest path, but in the long run it will lead you to a place where you can find joy and peace.

  • http://www.jenielizabeth.com Jeni

    I work in reality TV and I have to honestly say that was the most raw, real and true story I have seen in a long time. It took courage and strength, and for that I give you all the credit in the world. Your a wonderful mother Tori and a strong strong woman for dealing with this the way you are. Take comfort in knowing you have millions of people who look up to you and support you.

  • Claudette

    I think it’s really sad that you’ve succumbed to letting us watch the downfall of your marriage. Famous or not that should be a private matter. I feel for you and your family but when you both met I’m sure his ex and your ex were probably feeling the same kind of betrayal. Good luck ~ x

  • Jocelyn Houck

    Ok without reading anyone else’s thoughts, I just want to say you are a wonderful person, mommy, a fun talent to watch, I have basically grown up with you. That being said I have no expectation of YOU having to share your life. I “cringed” a little last night, mainly thinking of the fact that that someday this can and will be something your kids see. You kind of said they don’t really know, I mean I am sure your oldest has an idea that daddy isn’t there. But the reasons why….may not need to be something he watches. Your family is YOUR family not ours to judge. Your marriage is YOUR marriage, and keeping your husband… living with something HE did is something you will live with. I think it is wrong, I think his “rehab” is a bit of a joke. Leaving you at Christmas, that all seems like a cop-out, a way that he really didn’t have to “deal” with it, ….maybe that is what YOU needed. I hope you find all the strength you need. I hope someday your children have it within them to understand and not resent. Best wishes to you, and remember NO ONE gets to decide for you….you are the sole choice maker on your journey, people may try and alter it but you have to live your life, no one else.

  • Christeeny

    I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do (or have chosen to do) in your relationship with your husband. But the choices have to come from you and be real. Best of luck in whichever path you take. I’m glad you aren’t taking this lightly.

  • Kelly

    Do you think deep down this is the first time he has cheated on you? If you think about it you have had suspicions before, he just got caught this time, think about it Tori, I know u love him but if your not happy your kids will pick up on it and they will not be happy

  • JaNelle

    Tori why don’t you get in on the conversation?

  • Colleen Booth

    I’ve been a fan of you and Dean for a few years now. I think you both have done a great job with your four adorable children. In regards to the difficult place that you find yourself in, personally, I hope that whatever resolution you and Dean come to is reached with the best interests of Liam, Stella, Hattie, and Finn at heart. I wish nothing but some sort of peace to you and your family.

  • Timberly

    Tori u are a strong woman. Don’t let the haters get to u. Everyone has awful things happen to them. I just hope and pray that things get better for u and urs.

  • Jamie

    I watched in tears today. I have been a fan for so long. Our first two children are the same age and I loved watching you and Dean with them. I felt like our lives were running parallel. I honestly did not believe the tabloids one bit so hearing that Dean did actually cheat caught me so off guard and broke my heart. I am so sorry. I wish you only the best. I will not judge as I am not in your shoes. I will forever be a loyal fan! Good luck and God Bless!

  • JaNelle

    Does it matter what People really think? Do what you need to do for yourself and your kids.

  • Jenny Gray

    My heart breaks for Tori. After reading her books & watching her shows I realized that even though I was a famous actress or would ever have the money she’s had – I related to her & although not a fan of 90210 I find myself not wanting to miss anything Tori does. Her whole world is her family & he shattered that. Regardless of how they got together she has every right to be shocked & heartbroken. I dated a married man when I was 20 & I thought that he was my soul mate & that we would live happily ever after cause our love was different & guess what – it wasn’t. Love blinds you from seeing what you don’t want to see. I hope that whatever decision she makes – she makes the one that is right for her. If she loves Dean & can forgive him I will support that. If she can’t get over it & ends her marriage I will support her.

  • Angie

    I was once in your shoes as well as Deans. After three kiddos and 18 years we finally got married. The road was long and challenging but we loved each other more than blamed each other. Maybe at the time it was bc of the kids and not is as individuals. I’m happy I stayed with him and choose to forgive him. I’ve never forgot and neither has him. Sometimes you have to follow your heart, even if that means swallowing your pride. I know how you feel and I know how Dean feels, at the end of the day love is all that matters and no ones perfect! Hold your head high and be proud of the person you’ve become and love your husband for better or worse. Hugs!!!

  • Isabel Gallardo

    Tori, I watched your show today and my heart broke for you. I felt your pain and struggle and got a sense of who you really are. Do not pay attention to all the negative comments and energy just make sure you continue to be true to who you are. Raising four children is hard enough and to have to change your family dinamic in the process must be extremely overwhelming. You are stronger than you think and your heart is always in the right place. Follow your gut and keep your longtime friends super close by. No matter what the future holds my bet is on you. Big hugs and kisses all the way from Puerto Rico.

  • Ashley

    I have been a fan of Tori and Dean from the beginning. As in “we’re divorcing our significant ithers to be with each other” beginning. Life is too short to be unhappy. Since theyve had reality shows, i have seen every episode. They are one of the few couples who i actually could see the love blossom between them. How dare you watch if only to judge and bring more negativity to this womans life…how many of us have been betrayed and didnt even tell certain close people in our lives? To hide the embarrassment or hurt or whatever…i think she feels completely out of control since the whole world found out about the situation mere days after she did. Tori, i dont know if you actually read these, but you are stronger than you give yourself credit for!!! Dont feel ashamed to still love your husband (when you were putting on lipstick and said “dont judge me, hes still my husband) that broke my heart. You do not live for the public…you live for those 4 adorable little kids and i just want to say to you…keep going. You are doing what feels right to you and that is it. Just because someone makes a mistake does not change who they are…i wish u the best and God bless you and your family.

  • baileyross

    I don’t have any amazing or helpful advice for you, but to continue following your heart. I thought it was SO brave of you to share YOUR story publicly. Others may criticize that choice, but I commend you letting them shoot reality, not fiction. We all go through hard times in our marriage, not everybody wants to admit that. It’s refreshing to see that your family is real too, you have the same problems other couples have, and more importantly the same feelings. Sending positive thoughts to you and your whole family. It will all work out the way it’s supposed to. Your an incredibly strong woman, and mommy!

  • JB

    Oh Tori. What stood out to me watching the show is how you blame yourself and wonder what you did to “deserve” this. How you thought that your next lifetime will be better. I used to think that way, that I had done something bad in my last lifetime because I couldn’t understand what I had done in this lifetime to deserve the things I’ve been through. The fact is, it’s just life. It isn’t easy, and sometimes we make the wrong decisions which can only make us grow in the end. I agreed with both of your friends. You are too trusting. You are one of the sweetest people on earth and only have good intentions. I actually kind of feel the same way as your one friend of yours that wants you away from Dean. In my life I am fiercely protective of my friends and family when I see a guy or girl mistreating them, and I feel that way about you because you kind of remind me of myself. I used to only see the good in people. But you can’t overlook the blaring bad traits that cause you pain because they have some good traits. I don’t know if therapy will help Dean. I try to see his side of things and he seemed to sincerely care about what he has done, but if he shed some tears maybe he would have been more believable to me. I don’t want to bash him but like I said, I am fiercely protective of the people I care about! As for the kids, you are doing a great job! My one friend always says well my baby is alive so I know I’m doing something right. :) I know you are strong and no matter what decisions you make in the future you will be okay. Whatever happens I only wish you and your kids happiness and love.

  • Carrie

    I’ve been through it and what helped me most was surrounding myself with supportive people who just listened and let me talk, yell, cry.. Whatever I needed to do. don’t let anyone try to convince you of what you should do. If it’s in your heart to forgive him and move on, they need to respect that. (I did, by the way) It’s your life, your children’s lives. You will figure out what’s best in time. Don’t rush. Follow your heart. Much love to you and your beautiful kids.

  • Peggy

    I felt so much sadness for Tori last night. No matter how their relationship started, you know she loved him to the max! He seems like an idiot, risking losing a good life with his beautiful family for instant pleasure. I hope he is doing lots of growing up!!!

  • Meme

    I was highly disappointed in your two girlfriends. While in the fabric store, they began telling you how to feel about Dean’s text. I know they want to protect you, but the best thing they can do right now is support you on this journey as you uncover what is best for you and your family. It’s so hard to make decisions with friends constantly in your ear.

  • Peach

    Tori my heart goes out to you. I always thought Dean was so nice and a gentleman, like a real charmer. I’m so shocked he’d do such a thing to you. I remember that one scoobadiving episode with that other woman and thought it was so silly, but now i look at it differently and I understand your suspicious feelings more:( I admire your strength so much. This must be so awful. Ugh.

  • Ann Roberts

    Tori. I was 100% where you are now. I had 4 small kids the smallest one’s and two. I was so busy trying to take care of them I was unable to process my horror and devastation. All the promise were up and make and I had no room to do the right thing. I wish we were friends becase I have been there. I did what it took to keep my kids as stable as possible. PERIOD. Don’t pay any attention to what people are saying about your choices SURVIVE one day at a time even if you have to go minute by minute,second by second. Your supporter Ann Roberts

  • Monica

    I think the way your are handling this situation is an honorable way. Clearly, cameras follow you whether you like it or not, so why not take control of that situation and tell your story as it should be told…by you. I have not been through anything like this so I won’t act like I have any idea as to what you are going through, but as an outsider looking in, I am amazed by your strength. Dean is the father of your children and he is essentially your family, and while I may not have been cheated on, I do believe that you should not give up on family. Of course there are exceptions, but those exceptions should be determined by you, and you only.

    After watching True Tori, I realized you were absolutely weighing out your options and trying to make the best decisions for your children and for yourself. I’m really inspired by that. I have faith that whatever decision you make will be the right one because of your ability to step back from the situation and make the most rational decisions based on your own instincts. No one knows the ins and outs of your marriage like you and Dean. I may be a single 21 year old with no real life experience with this kind of stuff, but I do believe in following your heart while using your head as a guide. You have been an inspiration to me for a while now, Tori, and I really hope for the best for you and your beautiful family. Stay strong!

  • Okiemomma

    Tori, I heard you describe your relationship as a fairytale. It’s important to rember that all fairytales a involve some tragedy before the happy ending. I urge you to not give up on Dean. It’s easy for people to say “If my husband cheated I’d leave him”. I once thought that way too. Until it happened to me. I was 5 months pregnant with our third child and 9 years into our marriage when it happened. I didn’t think I would ever get over the pain. I wanted to hate him, but I loved him so much and I knew that we were meant to be together. So instead of giving up I fought for my family. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t without lots of tears and anger that I was able to forgive him. We’ve been married almost 19 years now. I’m so thankful everyday that I stuck it out. I really hate when people say your weak if you choose to forgive and stay with a husband who cheated, I can tell you it would have been much easier if I had left! Stay strong Tori and do what is best for you and your kids. Don’t listen to others. You know in your heart what you need to do. Much love to you and your little ones!! ❤️

    • Loveveryone

      How do you trust again??? I would always think he was out cheating on me again if he was late or took to long at the store. Just interested on how you got the trust part back??

      • Okiemomma

        It was the hardest part of all of it! It took a long time and lots of patience and understanding from him as well. He allowed me to be crazy at times and completely irrational because that’s where the hurt took me. One thing that helped me was I could see that he was sorry he let it happen and sorry he hurt me. I know 100% it won’t happen again. Everyone makes mistakes. Some Are big and cheating definitely is big. Not to say I don’t have trauma triggers that take me right back to the moment I found out sometimes and the pain comes back but I am just happy that is all behind us and we have had so many great moments since!

        • Hope

          You seem like an amazing person, Okiemomma! I was in your husband’s shoes and my husband also forgave me. Yep, I had to let him rant at me a few times but nothing was worse than knowing how much he was hurting. I wanted to take that pain away from him. And let me tell ya, he’s no sissy! We’re a few years away from it now & going strong but I worry about the memory of that hitting him. Cheating is so stupid.

          • Okiemomma

            Cheating is stupid. It’s a momentary pleasure but causes a lifetime of pain. But we must rember that none of us are without sins and making mistakes!

      • sue

        She has always said that she worried every time a woman called him, looked at him, etc. Remember when they went scuba diving? She has never been able to TRUST 1000% (even though she said last night that she never really really expected this)- perhaps now, if he REALLY comes clean and she can find a way of looking at this as an opportunity rather than the end of her marriage, they might have a fresh start & live a happily ever after. Only they can decide.

  • Jennifer Ward Pinkney

    I’ve been a fan and followed you for years and it hurt me to see you in so much pain. Sending prayers and hugs to you! You are such a strong woman and your love for Dean and your kiddos will pull you through this!

  • Lisa F

    I understand you want your side of the story to be told and heard, your truth not what everyone wants to believe is true. I think it takes a lot of guts to do what you did however do you think that it was maybe a little too soon, too quick to make it public as you are going through it? I can’t imagine you have much time to reflect on what’s really happening with cameras following you and while trying to function as normally as possible for the sake of your children. You need some time away from the chaos and have the opportunity to really digest what really happened and if you think you can move forward in the relationship. I just wonder if having cameras around an already chaotic situation can really help you see things clearly. I felt that you still have a lot of love for Dean, love doesn’t go away over night. I’m sure you are hurt deeply and feel totally betrayed by the person you say is your soulmate. I commend you for telling him you were not ready for him to come home just yet (as that is more of a “put a bandaid”) on the real problems and concerns for the future and being able to move forward. I will say that what happened was not your fault, I wish you could understand that, you didn’t do anything wrong. We all have choices. I really hope that this untraditional way of speaking your truth is helpful to you and you can find answers to the problems you are facing. You are an amazingly strong woman and I wish you and your family the best as I know you all have some pretty big decisions to make. God bless you.

  • Rachel

    Hey Tori! I stumbled upon your True Tori show and I instantly related to your feelings. I was recently cheated on and you feel SO CRAZY when this all happens to you, cause you blame your self and you say “what did I do wrong!!!!” blah blah blah I HATE that you are going through this, but it was nice to see that Im NOT crazy, that these feelings are normal to go through.
    Anyways, I dont know your past really at all, and I hate people that judge others on their past ( some of the comments on here are awful ) I just think this is your way to deal with this issue, I think your a good strong momma and a super strong lady!!! You go GIRL!! sending love and good vibes your way.

  • Kilyn

    I just am so sorry for u no one deserves that hope your kids are dealing
    It and your family

  • AdulTORI

    I’m not comfortable using my real name, so I’ll just be anonymous. Thank you for telling your story. I for one was relieved to know I am not alone.

    My husband never cheated, but I experienced a similar “betrayal” when he started using alcohol, pot, and prescription meds and lying about his addiction. When I watched True Tori, I felt like I was reliving that hellish year of my husband’s alcoholism/pill addiction. My husband also left our home for intensive treatment, and I was solely in charge of two children under two. It was a terrible time. I was stressed, overwhelmed, lonely, and not knowing how I’d get through every day. I didn’t know whether our marriage would survive, whether or not he was telling the truth at any given time, whether I would ever be able to trust him again. I was still in love with him, but I was so, so angry. And hurt. As painful as it was to watch on TT, I’m glad you put it out there. I’m sure there are thousands of women who endure heartbreak — from cheating or addiction or whatever — and have to put on a brave face for the kids. I’m sure your story will inspire and encourage them.

    Anyway, the whole time I was watching TT I wanted to reach through the screen and give you a big hug, T. I hope that you realize what a strong and competent woman you are, and what a devoted mom. You’ve lived your worst fear (of Dean cheating) and are coming out the other side of it intact and probably even stronger than you’ve ever been – that’s pretty incredible.

  • nikki

    Tori I watched the show at it brought back alot of memories for me. I went through the same thing. Let me tell you that you can trust again. It takes time. A lot if time the trust comes back but it takes time. You cry in the shower and you pull it together for your children. The strongest of couples can get through anything. You will come out stronger as a couple. The hardest part is keeping it together. Stay strong. It happened to me in our 7 years of marriage and now we are on 14 years. It made me a stronger person. Hugs

  • Bec

    Once a cheater, always a cheater. Didn’t he cheat on his first wife with YOU? How could you not expect him to do the same to you. He won’t stop, ever.

    • Bec

      Oh and hire a Nanny to help you. You don’t have to do it alone. Nothing wrong with having help.

  • Cindy

    Just curious, I’ve been reading through the comments…where is the whole “taking drugs & alcohol” thing coming from directed at Tori? I didnt see anything indicating that at all??

  • Dawn

    Thank you for sharing your journey. Like so many, I too have found myself a single mother after 10 yrs with my husband, after his addiction to pills came to light and I lost everything. In watching the first episode, I see myself, and while I am so sad that you and your peanuts going through this, I also feel connected and not totally alone. I have good support around me but they don’t really know what it is like to have lived with an addict and to have the rug pulled out from underneath you. I can tell you are a strong woman and I send blessings to you and your family.

  • Jennifer

    Honestly people.. She opened this blog for people who have gone through something similar and for people to give wise advice not to be criticized. Whether she did the show or not, her children will find out. The media is constantly behind Tori since she is a celebrity. Sadly, celebrities don’t have “private” lives anymore. The media will always find a way to twist and turn everything they see or hear. So what makes you think that it wont affect her children with the media already putting her private life out there? In the end, she wanted everyone to know the truth. Tori is a not a bad mother. Shame on you for even saying that. I admire her. I always have and sadly things happen. Tori, I have never been in that type of situation. But the only advice I have to give is, do what you need to do. If it’s to leave Dean, then leave him. I wouldn’t be able to live with a man who has already betrayed me once. I wouldn’t want it to happen again. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You deserve the best. You’re beautiful and you have the kindest heart. I may not know you personally but seeing your reality t.v shows made me feel like I already know you. I wish you the best, and I hope you do what is best for you and your little ones.

  • Brianna Marie

    Tori,
    You had me bawling the whole show. I love you and your little family so much. And to see you in all of that pain, it killed me. You are so brave and I respect you so much more. I felt so bad when the paparazzi was tailing you. You handled it so well. I don’t even know where you get your strength from. Love you so much and wish you the best in this difficult time. Brave mommy! Heart goes to you! ♥♥

  • Alyson Boyd

    It. was hard to watch! I cried. I’ve been in your shoes minus the paparazzi/TV show and I felt like I was right there with you reliving it all. I don’t like Dean. He won’t change, if he cheated for you he will cheat on you. I know you’re going to make it with or without him you are a strong women and you got this. But you have to ask your self if you want to be with someone you will never look at the same? Every time your together you will ask yourself did they do that together? Did she act like this? Does he like her way better etc, until you pick yourself apart and you lose who YOU are. It’s not worth It.

  • Rachael

    Tori, watching you last night really brought so much more respect for you! Such a difficult and raw time in your life and not only are you handling this time, but you opened the doors and are allowing everyone to see it happen and unfold. The strength you are harnessing to push forward is incredible… you should be proud of yourself!

    My heart just breaks for you and the kids. Your world came crashing down in an instant and you are still standing. The show is an eye opener… life’s not always greener on the other side. It’s so easy to sit and watch celebrities, you think that everything is so easy and happy go lucky, a fairy tale. You and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong, Tori!

  • Jaime

    I think Tori is courageous & so much stronger than she gives herself credit for. I saw myself in so many ways while watching the show. I can’t say the exact situation, but I went through a very similar situation yrs ago. When you wouldn’t hug Dean, that was me yrs ago. I had to give myself time because if I didn’t I would forgive & forget and we wouldn’t have fixed anything and made any progress. I love my husband tremendously but felt so devastated as Tori did. Tori, there are some marriages that can survive infidelity. I commend your efforts in at least trying & not walking away. If in the end, you end up going your separate ways, you will be able to say I gave it my all and can have some peace. My husband and I were able to work through the chaos in our marriage. Women always say “if my husband ever cheated I would be gone”. Its not always that easy and so unfair to assume, criticize & judge. We’ve been married for almost 15 yrs and our relationship is probably the strongest its ever been. I went through the “what did I do wrong to make him stray” to the “am I weak for taking him back and working on it?” It comes down to who the hell cares what other people think – do what you feel is right for you and your family. Your friends & family will support your decisions because they love you – bottom line. Constructive criticism is helpful when warranted, but just adding opinions in for opinion sake is not supportive. Opinions are not certainty, as my dad said “opinions are like butt holes, everybody’s got one.” You’ve handled criticism your whole life and look at you – that’s why you are fierce & strong!! From the outside looking in, you are doing the best you can and your best looks pretty damn good, especially as a mom!! Hang in there and always follow your instincts. You and your beautiful kids are going to be closer, stronger, and dependable on each other through all this no matter what happens. I could go on about how much I admire you, but this is about encouraging you stick to it and not to get too religious on ya – God will never put anything on you that you can’t handle.

  • redrose979

    While many women (and men) have had a partner cheat on them, not many of us have had to do it so publicly so I can only imagine what you have gone through these past few months, knowing that the whole world would know what happened to you. But I do know what it is like to have a partner cheat on you and whether you are famous or not, whether one person knows or a million know, the reality is someone knows and that is hard. But what I can tell you is that sometimes good can from bad. It can be painful, scary, sad and above all hard but if you want it, it is worth it.
    I was 18 and my boyfriend cheated on me. I was pregnant and at the time I thought the world was going to end. I spent the last three months of my pregnancy alone and convinced that was it. Once our daughter was born we found ourselves together more because of her and after many talks decided to try and be a family. Fast forward three years and now we had two young kids and found ourselves married. We were married for a year when we seperated. We had many issues that we hadn’t dealt with years prior, including him cheating on me. Our family was important to both of us and both of us knew that we loved each other and that we wanted to grow old together but knew that couldnt happen without a lot of work, from both of us. We went to counselling and it was hard. Hard to talk about what was in our heart and hard for both of us to hear some of the things we felt about the other person but we wanted it to work and knew this was what we had to do. That was 17 years ago and I am happy to say we are still together. It takes work. All the time. And takes both partners adjusting to changes that naturally occur in people. And while I will never forget my husband cheated on me I have forgiven him. It is part of our past. Part of who we are a couple. It could have broken us. Or it could have made us stronger. It made us stronger. My children both know that it is something that happened and while many people may think they shouldn’t know that information about their parents I disagree. I want them to see that their parents knew that their love was worth fighting for and that we aren’t perfect. We all make mistakes and that mistakes are forgivable. And that sometimes we get the fairytale happy ending but not without its challenges.
    i wish you and your family all the best and hope that you are able to make a decision that is best for you and your family and that in your heart feels right. Everyone will have opinions but only your opinion matters as this is your life, not theirs.

  • Jasmine Hurst

    I think you’re absolutely amazing and I applaud you for your strength and faith throughout the situation. It’s not the best situation to be put in but no matter the outcome you and your children will bounce back stronger than ever. I think you can get through this like everything else you have in the past. Don’t let anyone rain on your parade! You all deserve happiness. Dont dwell on your current situation but look forward to how you can make it better afterwards. In the eyes of society no matter what you do will be deemed wrong so do what you think is right. I’m just 16 but no matter what I will still admire you for you not your decisions or how they’re portrayed in a magazine. I think you are amazing no matter what. :)

  • Kelly from Ohio

    Tori I hate to say this but I’ve been in your shoes. I think its great that you are trying to work things out with Dean! First off Shame on you Dean! This women is at home takin care of your kids while you r lyin with dogs! Tori I hate to say this but if u stay u will always be wonderin what he is doing. Thats no way to live. I left my ex husband for this. And NOT ONE TIME HAVE I regreted it. NOW MARRIED TO THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD WHO NOT ONE TIME DO I QUESTION WHAT HE IS DOIN!
    YOUR KIDS DESERVE FOR U TO BE HAPPY AND NOT WORRIED!
    I luv u and think the world of u! Xoxox hang in there!

  • Brenda Mcintosh

    Dear Tori, I know you have kids but belive me this will mess your whole life staying with this guy you will never be able to trust him again. I don’t care how much counciling you both go through,it wont help because every time he goes out of town your heart will hurt .Cut the cord be happy love your kids you don’t need a man to raise those kids you can do a better job on your own.Kick Dean to the curb girl.

  • Stephanie Valdez

    It was honestly a replica of my life if you remove the paparazzi. Its nice to see a person put the truth out, taking the lies from the magazines ink. I am going through the very same thing and have four kids as well. Its so chaotic that i often let him back. Granted he is an amazing father but i feel as though im often a doormat. Still I pray for a turn around. Watching this made me seriously want to call you lol your very brave for pushing through the negativity and being true. Ill be praying for you,dean and the children. Anyone has the potential to turn around and i see a good heart in him. No matter what happens your kids are loved and adored by both of you and thats whats important.♡ the show. Looking forward to the next episode.

  • Michelle Carravallah

    I went through the same situation with my ex-husband two years ago. We were married for 9 years. He was my best friend. We had been together since I was 19. I found out he was cheating on me with a girl who worked at a Fantastic Sam’s next door to the pizza parlor he owned. I didn’t know how, but I thought we’d work it out. The next night he admitted to cheating on me our entire relationship with people I know, people I didn’t. Watching your episode brought it all back. It was hard to watch, but I know what you’re going through. I had a 4 month adopted daughter and I tried to make it work. Eventually I realized if I took him back, I would be living a life of never being able to trust him and, in my opinion, giving him the green light to do it again. Prayers are with you. I hope you gain the clarity you need to make the decision. Just know your children will do well if you are both well. If not being with him is what is best for you, your children will be fine. Thinking of you!! xoxo

  • jane

    Just watched and I am sorry for what you are going through. Been there myself. Only you know what’s best for you and your family. You are responsible for YOUR own happiness and you need to remember that. You are a strong, successful and kind person. You will make the right decision. xo

  • Michele

    I don’t have kids, so I haven’t walked in your shoes. But, I was the child of a man who kept cheating a woman who stayed with him for the kids sake. I can honestly say it did more damage than good. It was very uncomfortable witnessing some of the things I did annoying in my heart he kept hurting her. For me, the message was it its okay to let a man hurt you as much as he wants. My heart goes out to you. Remember always how strong you are.

  • Mo. A. N.

    My heart hurt watching, I have watched you from the beginning and loved every show with you, dean and the kids. now I just want to punch dean for you since you wont. I pray if you forgive him he never does this again. you have to be tougher don’t let him think he can just walk over you tori. BE STRONG.

  • scarlet9019

    Honestly, if I was in your position I would have divorced him immediately. Not only did he hurt you, but he hurt your kids as well. I applaud you for being a single mother to them during this difficult time and for putting them first. I hope that Dean becomes a better husband, father, and person. Your kids need him to be, and so do you.

  • SLchica

    Proud of you for sharing your story. Watching your morning routine broke my heart. Apart from fame (and the paps of course), you are not that different from me. In my journey of recovery, I have found that both spouses need lots of healing. In that vein, get yourself to an Al-anon meeting STAT. It will save your marriage. Therapy, quiet introspective time and lots of hard work will heal your marriage and ultimately save you from yourselves. I am pulling for you from my little corner of Texas, and I imagine you have many people pulling for you all over the country.

    • Bec

      Save the marriage? Why, he will do it again. He cheated on his first wife with Tori. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. She needs to get out now, while she can and before he hurts her any worse.

  • Christy

    loved the show. hope and pray that you and your family can get through this.

  • Nicole

    My heart was hurting for you Tori. I feel so empathetic. While my husband of 11 years (my high school sweetheart) did not cheat on me, he certainly betrayed me. See, he is an addict. And it was mentioned Dean is too. He has lied to me many times and put me in terrible situations. He broke my heart and chose drugs over me and his family. I have two sons. After lots of pain, therapy, AA, etc. He is well. But there was so many times people would tell me not to waste my time with him. I made a commitment to love for better of worse and sickness and health. They have no clue how hard it is when you love someone so much. I wish the best for you and your family.

  • Kelly Wade

    Heather they are celebrities and bc of the magazines and pho grotograohers their personal life is out there! They knew before she did. So it’s out there and the kids will see it and understand it when they are older no matter what bc they are celebrities. At least they will have this to set the record straight. They can see their parents reality and not the median version of what he did and how she handled it. They will be proud of their parents and the fact that they had the courage to face the whole world for the TRUTH!!!!!

    • Shelly Cartell-Grubb

      I so agree Kelly. I feel this is the only way to let her children know that she is fighting for their family.

  • Shelly Cartell-Grubb

    Privately – Heather come on – do you honestly think that is possible for them ??! No its not so I think Tori is doing the only thing she can to make sure her children do know the truth. Yes its weird to us “normal” people but Tori is hardly the first to do this. AND if you know anything of her and the kind of person she is her Fans are so much a part of her life, family in a sense so opening up publicly to the people who have followed her life and supported her makes total sense.

    I for one have always lived Tori & Dean. They have a beautiful family. What they are going through is a real thing many people go through. And the fact is it is soooo easy to say “oh he cheated she should leave him”. But until you are actually faced with what she is going through you have no idea how you truly would react or what you would do.

    Marriage is a sacred thing not something to be taken lightly. There are days you do have to fight for it. And being in love with someone is not something you can turn off like a light switch. And when you have children the most honorable thing you could ever do if this would happen to you is to fight to understand WHY it happened and to do whatever you could to repair it as long as it was mentally healthy for you to do so. I admire Tori, I admire her strength, her weakness. I admire her putting this out there because there could be many women this has happened to who just threw in the towel and said ” nope he cheated that’s it” who have regretted that decision. So seeing Tori fight for her family, that is a thing to admire not criticize.

    I am rooting for you Trio, you & Dean. But if I could say one thing to you….. its OK to cry, to NOT be strong all the time. No one will think you are weak. Crying us a good way to cleanse your soul, clear your head and strengthen your heart. Bless you and many prayers that you will be guided towards the right path to overcome this.

    • Bec

      Once a cheater, always a cheater. Been throughout it. He will NEVER change.

      • Shelly Cartell-Grubb

        The saying once a cheater, always a cheater isn’t necessarily true. If that person values you, the marriage and family, he/she may actually be willing to change and work to win back your trust. I have known people who have cheated but have been so in love with their partner they worked on their issues and as of today have the most beautiful marriage. So no, not everyone who cheats is or will be a repeat offender. There are people who truly do learn a lesson from their mistakes.

  • amy

    I feel for you Tori… Have not seen the show but have watched your other reality shows. I was cheated on once, twice, probably a dozen times by someone I was with who had no respect for me. I can’t blame him though, at the time I did not have the respect for myself to LEAVE the first time it happened.

  • mzitalian

    Tori, your strength is awe inspiring. Please continue to do the show, they are moms just like you going through the same thing, and it brings a little less heartache to know that i am not alone, that there are other moms who are going through the same hell as I

  • Stephanie Valdez

    For the negative comments please keep them to yourself. Everyone has opinions but we are not in the public eye so do not understand certain aspects of her choice that she had every right to make. Putting hurtful things out in the world doesnt help make the world a better place and most certainly doesnt make you a good role model for your children.. More ♡less cruilty. God bless

  • Michelle

    You are Amazing! My heart breaks for you. You will get through it. You will be stronger for it. Your doing what is right for your heart and family! Never second guess your instincts. Xox.

  • Janet

    Don’t give up on your family. Try to make it work with Dean for your children.

    • Bec

      Horrible advice. He will do it again, just like with his first wife. GET OUT NOW!

      • Janet

        People can change and only she Tori – (Love you) can determine if he deserves another chance!

        • Bec

          He cheated on his 1st wife WITH her. He cheated on her. He will NOT change. No amount of counseling will help. Been there, done that. Run girl, run fast. He is no good!!

  • Annette ten Hoope

    I think it is very brave of you to show your story with us. I also think that a lot of people who disagree, because it came to close to them.
    I’ wasn’t betrayed by another woman, but my ex husband had a gambling problem and when I asked him to get help to restore our marriage, he chose for his gambling and I also felt very betrayed,
    But I was willing to fight for the good times we had, I was trying to give him another change, but he didn’t wanted it, he wanted to gamble.
    Tori I know your hurting, but if you don’t try if you and Dean can work it out, you will always regret it. If through therapy you will find out you both want to end the marriage you will have peace with, I still always wonder what if?
    I wish you and Dean and the childeren all the strenght and love you all need so much.

  • patti

    I have not seen the show yet but heard about it. Typical story girl has babies and dedicates her life to them. Then “poor” hubby doesn’t get enough attention. Let him go concentrate on your babies. Our children are our life. Hang in there girlfriend

  • E

    I hope you’re not spending too much time dwelling on all of these mean comments. My dad cheated on my mom when I was growing up and when that happens the parent really cheats on the whole family, not just their spouse. The story would have been out there regardless. This way all your little ones can see the effort you both will go through toward whatever decision you come to regarding your marriage.

  • Oregon Girl 73

    My husband cheated with a former friend of mine. The first year I felt crazy..questioning everything in the past and future. I left for a few months intent on not going back. The space made me realize his cheating had nothing to do with me or some fault I perceived I had. It was his flaw – not mine. I never thought about him cheating or even guessed he would do that because it was something I would never do. I also realized that if it didn’t work out I could be happy without him. We worked it out and are still together 15 years later. Time does heal. And anytime I have been suspicious of where he was or what he was doing – I quickly reminded myself that the worst thing that could happen is he cheats again, I learn more about him, I move on, and I find happiness elsewhere… So it’s okay to trust him and be wrong about it – or to end your marriage.. Either way you it’s never your flaw… Most of all – do what makes you happy…not what everyone says you should do… You have to live with what you decide… Just like he has to. Don’t torture yourself with what other people think or say…be confident in whatever you decide… It was really hard for me to put aside what people said and do what my heart said… But I’ve never regretted my decision and I grew tremendously from the whole experience..best wishes to you.

  • samantha

    i hope that your decision no matter what it maybe you’ll do whats best for you and the children. he found you while cheating on his first wife,what amde you think you could change that aspect of him? i wish you all the best and please listen to your friends and family and know they ahve your best interests at heart.

  • St8zee

    Wow. I wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I respect and admire you. What you are going through is devastating and I am sure that you would prefer to keep this private. Because, in essence, this is a private matter between two people. Unfortunately, that option has been denied to you and your family. The courage it must have taken to pursue the course of action to televise your experiences is monumental. You have had the courage to take back your power. To tell your ‘True Tori’.

    I know that a lot of people may chastise you for involving your children – but they ARE involved. The press has not allowed you or your children to have privacy. The way you have chosen to live your life – televised – is preparing them to live their life as your children. Publicly. Granted, they may have their own psychological scars and need their own reality shows when they are adults – be that as it may. The love with which you have crafted the lives of your children is evident.

    Your absolute vulnerability is palpable. It is apparent, to me at least, that you would prefer to be left alone. The courage you have shown, and continue to show must be so inspiring and healing to many women in your situation. It sounds trite – but it also rings true – you are never given more than you can handle – and you are so much stronger than you know.

    I am sure everyone has their own opinion about Dean – but the fact that he has consented to this – to being shown in this light – bespeaks so highly of him. I am inspired that you are choosing a path of love. I hope things work out for the two of you and regardless if you stay together – I have faith that it will.

    Love to you and your beautiful family!

    PS – Ignore the haters and trolls <3

  • Amanda

    I named my son Dean when I saw your fist show Tori and Dean

  • Tonya

    (((hugs))) to you. No matter what, it’s not going to be easy. Praying for strength for your decision and then the strength to carry out whatever decision you make. Do what is right for YOU and the kids.

  • Nat

    I appreciate that you are putting it out there. I am currently pregnant with my second child and going through this unimaginable hard time similar to what you are going through. Seeing your show helps me to not feel so alone. I just wish that my husband would do counseling. My marriage is doomed, but I hope that things work out for you guys.

  • Tennille

    I have been down the same path you are on. It’s a tough road, one you have to figure out as you heal. I got my happy ending, but it took us a long time to get to that place again! I hope you get your happy ending!!!

  • Danielle

    I just saw the first episode. I have been one of your diehard fans since 90210 and have seen everything you do. I believed you and Dean were the fairytale. I am so angry at Dean. I was in tears watching you. I would love to help you in the mornings and give you the much needed hug you deserve. I have been where you are only I have 1 precious little girl. I can’t imagine life with 4. I took him back. I loved him and she needs her dad. However I could not get passed what he did. We fought constantly. And worse. He lied and cheated 2 more times before we finally broke up. I wouldn’t take him back now and I love him still. I hate him too. The people who hate on you know nothing. Follow your heart but keep it close. Don’t give your trust so easily again. You are strong and you can and will survive whatever you decide. I will always be here supporting you.

  • Tonya

    Wow, some of these comments are just ridiculous !! Honestly I don’t think I would know what I would do if it happened to me, Trust is a huge part of a relationship, However if there is still a lot of love and a good councilor your Marriage can be saved. Its just going to take time to build back trust, It was difficult to watch last night with you having to care for the 4 kids alone and deal with all you have going on, All I can say is God Bless you and your Family and I wish you all the best !!

  • keri

    Tori, I’m the exact same age as you and I feel like I’ve “grown up” with you. I was so happy for you; watching you meet your soul mate and raise your beautiful children together! You are such a strong, creative, funny & beautiful (on the inside and out) person! I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes watching last night’s episode. Even though I’m a total stranger, just want you to know you are adored and admired by so many people. Just follow your own intution,( not anyone else’s advise) because it’s your life and your children’s lives and you ultimately have to be at peace with your decision. Don’t rush, take as much time as you need. Either way, you will be fine because you’re strong…stronger than you may have even known, until you go through something like this. As a single mom, it’s hard but I’ve made it. I do have many girlfriends who stayed and rebuilt their marriages and found a good place again as a couple. Either way, wishing you all the best as you go through this hard time.

  • Sasha Lindsey

    What you are doing takes a lot of strength and truth. You are strong in that alone for putting such raw emotion out for everyone to see. My heart breaks for you because I could see you struggling to keep your guard up around Dean. I think that and you might have already heard this but if you stay with him you hAve to truly forgive and if you can’t than the relationship won’t work. I also think that your relationship is never going to be the same and you have to accept that also. I hope and pray you find answers for you and your kids and Dean also. Everyone deserves to live happy.

  • Texas

    No body knows until they actually walk in your shoes Tori! I’ve been there it’s the most degrading thing a woman can go through. It changes you, changes everything. I unfortunately couldn’t stay in my marriage after years of AA and pornagraphy. I look up to women who can move on and can continue their marriage.
    I encourage you to read a book… Codependent no more…. by melody Beattie

  • Bran5f

    Actions Speak Louder Than Words!!

  • Lisa

    My heart was hurting for you after watching last night. The pain was so raw and real. I wish you strength and healing as soon as possible. Focus on your kids and be the strong woman you are.

  • Debbie

    Tori
    I commend you for walking through this on tv…….your comments were real about you wanting to get “your” story out there. You are walking through some tough stuff, but I know you will rise. You are a beautiful and kind person and a great Mom. I will pray for you, your kids and Dean. I pray for healing and peace.

    God Bless!

  • Clar

    I’m so sorry tori. Stay strong. Dean doesn’t deserve you.

  • lisa

    You are so real and seeing you handle things like you have been made me realize that you have real problems too. You can definately relate to us and we can relate to you. You are very brave. Hang in there. You are doing a great job with the kiddos. And whether you have your man around or not- you and your kids will be just fine!

  • Carrie

    I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I admire you so much for telling your story. I wish you all the best. I’ve been a fan of yours for years and followed you and Dean from the beginning. For your sake and the sake of your children and family, I do hope that you are able to get past this and be happy again .

  • Felice

    #SaveLiam #SaveStella #SaveHattie #SaveFinn

  • Melanie

    You dont think she’s goin thru Enough hurt? ! If u don’t have empathy, sympathy or words of encouragement. …. then KEEP QUIET ! Everybody handles things in their own way and this WILL BE PUBLIC, so why not see her side , the truth….

  • Amy

    I have experienced betrayal first hand. I was a stay at home mom for 8 years with our two daughters. The truly sad part was the fracture in the family. My oldest daughter 12 at the time wanted answers. She was 6 months old and grew up with my ex husband as a step parent. When she found out the truth, via her cousins, she chose to not have a relationship with her step dad. Many nights I spent with my children in the master bedroom. I held them as they sobbed, cried and wondered what their future looked like. My ex husband cheated on me with a former co-worker. She new he was married with children but pursued anyway. She has broken up at least 10 marriages/families. She lost custody of her children due to her addictions and mental instability. So not only was I greiving the loss of my husband but fearful for my daughters well being. After my ex finally told me about it, after confronting him several times, I asked him to choose right there and then. He ended things with the other woman and we preceeded with marriage therapy. During thar time I found out he was still talking to her. After confronting him with this info I, not so politely, told him that I deserved better in a husband and that the girls sure as hell deserved a better example as what a husband/father should behave. I then told him that he was a poor excuse for a man, husband and father. I asked him to pack his shit and leave. I then filed for divorce and started the divorced battle. Was I embarrassed? Yes. Was I ashamed that our family and friends would find out? Yes. However, the path that I chose in divorcing my husband was to show my girls that while marriage vows should be taken seriously, that if you are disrespected time and time again, you need not lay on the floor and become a door mat. I knew there would be hard ships as I left a marriage where our monthly income was $17k a month. The big house that we built, I know longer reside in. That being said, I am happier than I have ever been and so are my children. They see a therapist and most of all this has taught them that life is full of disappointments but it is how you choose to handle those disappointments that make you a strong woman. So Tori, do as you please. You know your children better than anyone. They will find out via many different avenues. I think it is better that they deal with these issues in a controlled environment. Imagine how many other children and families this will help!! I know that my ex has no clue the type of damage his actions have done. Perhaps this will enlighten and open other peoples eyes into the devastating destruction that cheating can cause. There is more to my story. If you have any questions please ask. Good luck to you Tori. Stay strong and continue to be amazing!!

  • Norma

    Tori, my heart aches for you. I’m a 55 year old woman and have really enjoyed watching you and Dean. You both have seemed so dedicated to each other and genuinely in love. You are a sensitive and powerful woman, much more so than I ever was. I have no words of wisdom for you, but I wish you and your sweet family the very best.

  • Yolanda

    Proud of you and how you are dealing with things. Life is not easy for any of us and you have put it out there for the truth to come out. Dean admitted something important which was that he had been living a lie for a long time. This is a first step. Having found out that a family member has been living a lie for years makes this very real for me. Take it day by day and know that we are here to support you as you make this journey with your family. No one knows where this will end up but you are stronger than you think Tori.

  • Kerrie

    Tori, My fiancé was gone for 3 months (the entire summer) because he made a stupid mistake(legally) and I had to be mom and dad to our then 8 and 2 yr old children. I can not imagine how hard it is to raise 4 kids by yourself. This past summer I cried myself to sleep almost every night because as mad as I was at him… I just wanted him there with me. I couldn’t help but to cry as I was watching the show. I’ve been cheated on in previous relationships, and it was so incredibly easy to walk away from them, because I knew they were not “the one” for me. (plus there were no children in those relationships). I really do not know what I would do if I were to find out that my husband cheated on me. I do not know if I could go straight into mom mode like you did. I know you had/have to be devastated. I honestly just wished I could hug you. As shitty as it was that he cheated on you, and as wrong as it was, when he was apologizing to you in his room- it didn’t seem like he was just saying sorry because he felt bad (and I don’t know him personally), but it seemed like he was genuinely sorry for what he did to you. I think that you did the right thing by telling him no. He needs to understand the magnitude of what he did, to you and the kids. I really hope that you two find your ways back to each other, and that you two live happily ever after, because you deserve that. I’ve been such a huge fan of yours since 90210. I’ve loved everything that you’ve ever been a part of. I feel like I know you personally because I’ve never missed an episode of Tori and Dean. Don’t worry- lol I’m not one of those crazy fans that think I ‘really’ know you. (besides I live in Indiana and have no energy from taking care of 2 rug rats) . I really hope everything works out for you two. <3 You guys will be in my prayers.

  • Jackie

    I have always watched your shows. I am glad you are setting the record straight. You will always have rude and negative opinions. Just remember it’s an opinion. All that matters is you and your family and not what others think. Take some time for yourself and follow your heart. You have the most beautiful children and no one can take away from you. Praying things get better and you have a wonderful, happy future. You deserve it,

  • Teron Burrell

    Whenever a person has a lot to do the harder it becomes to be perfect. Her husband may have not been prepared for what the future had in store for him and made a mistake by running from the future instead of confronting what the future had in store head on . Responsibility often is the breeding grounds for two things the fear of failure and the fear of success . If he is in rehab aka school that means he is defintely trying to learn how to take these responsibilities on without being subject his fears.If you believe in education then he deserves a second chance. To: Tori From : Teron

    • Bec

      Seriously?? He cheated with Tori on his first wife, now he’s cheated on her. My guess, it’s not the first time he’s done it to her either. 2nd chance my butt. She needs to kick his sorry, cheating a** to the curb.

  • KellyNelson5311

    Love your honesty. Mom of 4 & step mom to 2. I know what you are going through. It’s hard on a good day. My thoughts are with you & so is my heart. You are Super brave! I am sending you love & strength from Illinois!

  • Tiffany

    Do what is right for you and your kids. Your heart and children are what matters, not everyone else’s thoughts. Do not feel weak if you choose to fight for your family. Yes, he screwed up, but if you want to try and make it work,then go for it! I did and will never regret my decision.

  • Michelle

    Not sure if you’re reading all of these, Tori, but I want to say I support whatever decision you make. You are the only one who can decide what is best for you and your family. My caution would be that you state that Dean has been a certain way before and has made you question everything over the last 7 years and that’s your red flag. I don’t know either of you personally, so I’m not to judge any of this, it’s simply my perception after viewing everything on TV. I’ve followed you guys and loved your reality shows over the years and was devastated for you and your family to be going through this.
    My hope is that you put YOU and your children FIRST. You deserve to and should think of yourself (and your children) before you think of what Dean wants or needs. I hated to see you so hesitant last night but I understand that he is your best friend, partner and husband. I feel the same way about my husband, but if I was in your position, I would also need to think of the lesson I am teaching my children. If you end up being a “single” mom, then I have absolute faith that you can do it. Forget the media who will say what they want. Do what you want and what is best for you.

  • Peacemaker

    Tori, First, I think you should not end your whole relationship family life with two parents for your kids just because he fucked someone else. But also if you take him back don’t hold it over him forever. I mean, if you want to be with him be with him. Clearly you love eachother. Just choose what is important to you. Don’t base it on what other people think. In the end it is you and your kids and Dean who live with the consequeces of your choice. It seems that he an you want to be together, and with four kids so young it is good for their dad to be there. More important than you making some statement. sex is just one thing. Clearly your relationship is screwy and yet would you really be better alone? I do think it is an odd thing to publicize. Especially for your kids’ sake. I also wonder why your very rich mom cant just give you a few million so you don’t have to suffer so much? So you can hire help and not do publicity shows? Seems odd to me! I think you and Dean love eachother and to break up a family over one thing is not worth it. I understand you feel betrayed but you feel that anyway- so is it also worth breaking up your family for? Take him back, forgive him , and try to love eachother as much as you can. life goes by there is no time for grudges! He loves you and you love him and you are family. Let it go, move on, and try to heal from this point forward. Best wishes to you and those babies and to Dean to. I wish for you a healed resurrected family. It is up to you to decide to not make such a total endless drama abou it in your mind but to accept everyone has hard things happen- and you choose what feels real. Dean wants to be with you and you want to be with him so be together. Then over time if it continues to fall apart, so it may. But try to make it heal. Just put love on it.

    • Bec

      Dean wants to be with anyone who will drop their panties, cheated on both his wives. Why would her Mother give her money. She has her own, she doesn’t need her Mothers money. Talk about odd. Ever been cheated on?? Ever had your husband fuck someone else? It’s not a good feeling, especially when he does it over and over and over again, all the whole saying he wants to change. Cheaters DO. NOT. CHANGE. Tori, don’t listen to this one, like I said, RUN, KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB. HE IS NO GOOD, NEVER WILL BE.

  • Annie

    Tori, I had this happen to me. It happened to me when my mom had a stroke and I went to Chicago to be with my family and my husband stayed at home ( Big Red Flag)!!! I called home and he told me on the phone that he cheated on me. I was devastated. I wanted to go home and kick this girls @#$!!! I didn’t of course.Long story short, I’ve never gotten over it even 10 years later. I’m still with him, but Its not the same between us. I hope you can find a way to regain your inner peace. Be strong for your babies! God bless and remember to take care of you!!!:)

  • Nina

    Very emotional, but i wanna say that the fact that dean wants to fight his demons thats a good sign and momma youre doing a great job with your beutiful babies. One thing you really have to do is grieve per say, get mad, undetstamd that its not your fault and that what he did was wrong but we’re all human and arent perfect. Im not sayimg what he did was right and having his demons doesnt make it right either but its important that you understand that hes sick and trust me i know about dealing with someone who was/is mentally sick. You and dean are made for each other you guys can get through thiz but its gonna take time. Keep your head up<3

    • Hope

      I agree that he’s sick but isn’t it a cop-out that he’s in a safe little cocoon that’s all about him – while she’s out in the world managing 5 lives and the fall-out alone? I doubt always alone-alone, but see what I’m saying? It’s so seedy of him. THAT’s what makes me maddest. He should be home kissing her butt night and day until SHE is healed too. They can afford in-home treatment and counseling. All this just doesn’t make sense.

  • http://batman-news.com Jami Koch

    I feel like your friends are not giving you advice for your situation and they can’t relate. You clearly still love him and should probably forgive him and be with him for the sake of the kids and your sanity; re-evaluate it again in 5 years. Do what’s best for you and not what you think the public or your friends will judge you for. He won’t do it again after all of this!
    Stay healthy Tori! Thank you for candidness! I fell in love with you because of your acting roles, but continue to love you because of your perserverance and strength!

  • Brandy Mangrum

    As I watched you show last night, my heart broke for you.
    The first thing I would say is always remember it was not
    And is not you fault. I have gone through what you are going
    Through. This is one of the hardest things you will go through.
    Keep your head held high. And remember if you love him the
    Fight is worth it. It does not make you weak to cry and screaming
    And it does not mean your weak if you forgive him. You are a
    Strong and beautiful person. Love your self and your kids
    And everything else will work out like it should. I know this because i
    Made it through

  • Sandra

    T, there is forgiveness after betrayal. It should not be the end of your marriage. ..you made a commitment,; honor that. Why should you suffer the loss of your true love and your family hurt because of a stupid thing he did. Don’t forget your responsibility to the kids. ..they don’t deserve the heartache that that brings. Forgiveness is hard but possible. Hang in there. SLC -Jersey xoxo

  • Kristina

    I absolutely loved watching the episode. It was so real and honest. I really feel for all of you. As fans, we obviously don’t know you personally, but with the internet and tv, we sometimes really feel like we do know you. Watching what you’re going through makes us feel like you’re a part of our lives, so thank you.

  • Ajanetmarie

    Tori,

    First, I am sorry that you are going this difficult time & my thoughts & prayers are with you & your adorable children.
    I can tell you are a very sweet genuine woman, wife, & mother who loves your family wholeheartedly. I can empathize with your feelings of betrayal, anger, & hurt. I have always admired your career & family life & I was devastated by the news of Dean’s affair.

    I understand the reason why you are doing True Tori & I support your decision to do this for you to reveal your story. I admire your vulnerability & sincerity. I hope that you & Dean will resolve your marital issues & come through this stronger & closer if that is God’s plan. It is not easy to deal with marital issues in the public eye; there is so much scrutiny & judgement. But so many women deal with these issues & perhaps your documentary or reality show can help you develop a voice & figure out what you want & what is best to you as well as voice for others with a similar story.

    You are an amazing person & my heart goes out to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Work hard at y. I wish you all the best & I admire your bravery. Tori,

    First, I am sorry that you are going this difficult time & my thoughts & prayers are with you & your adorable children.
    I can tell you are a very sweet genuine woman, wife, & mother who loves your family wholeheartedly. I can empathize with your feelings of betrayal, anger, & hurt. I have always admired your career & family life & I was devastated by the news of Dean’s affair.

    I understand the reason why you are doing True Tori & I support your decision to do this for you to reveal your story. I admire your vulnerability & sincerity. I hope that you & Dean will resolve your marital issues & come through this stronger & closer if that is God’s plan. It is not easy to deal with marital issues in the public eye; there is so much scrutiny & judgement. But so many women deal with these issues & perhaps your documentary or reality show can help you develop a voice & figure out what you want & what is best to you as well as voice for others with a similar story.

    You are an amazing person & my heart goes out to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Work hard at saving your family. I wish you all the best & I admire your bravery.

  • Stella Ortiz-Colon

    Heather is an idiot! She is not in the public eye so who the FCK would care about her dumb a$$. I think it’s important that your kids know the real story when they get older and not the tabloid sh!t. All these people watched your show to get the truth not some made up tabloid story. Sadly someone felt the need to get five minutes of fame by ruining someone else’s life. That woman knew he was married and has kids. She is the p.o.s. not you. It’s hard to adjust your life when you are parenting alone after years of help. Good for you for trying. Shrug off the haters.

  • Sandra

    There is nothing wrong with showing the bad times we’ve enjoyed your joys. ..we can endure your pain. .I can relate…blessings

  • Lori Dey Theobald

    I thought the show was done tastefully. So honest and raw. You deserve to tell your story Tori, it’s going to be told anyway … most likely the wrong way. As far as the kids go, you’ll just deal with that when the time comes.

  • Shawna P

    Good for you…take back your power. God bless.

  • Happiness

    Yes, Dean and your kids are your family. Preserve the wholeness of your family, it is the most important thing. Forgive Dean, take him back,. Your little ones will be better for it and you will be too. IT is just sex, not the end of the world! He loves you, that is what matters. And he loves his and your kiddos and you love him. That love is all that matters. Don’t expect that mutual love to be easy come easy go, cherish that love and make it bigger. The love of your family is way more important than punishing dean for doing something weak. And your kids too will be way better off with the two of you together.

    • janet

      the children will NOT be better if they reconcile and harbor deep resentment down the road…happiness comes from seeing both parents happy…whether together or apart.

  • Bec

    Karma.

  • Danielle

    Tori- this is what is called karma. I don’t feel sorry for you because this what you did to his first wife. How does it feel?

    • Michele Jeffery Murphy

      wow. i guess u have been cheated on hun?

    • Tired

      Amen.

    • L

      Exactly, it’s no surprise —- Tori I think it’s a good idea to ask Dean how many times he has done this over the years—- seems to me he may be a serial cheater. In my opinion dealing with a serial cheater, will be a tough battle to win. Follow your gut feeling.

    • sue

      Do you feel better now that you have “told her”?

  • Stlmommy

    I will admit, at first I questioned this. I thought it was a little much, and would negatively affect the kids, but after watching, I see this in a new light. I love that you are controlling what story is told. I hate that you were so betrayed and four young kids will look back and see what a strong, loving momma they have. A momma who Fights for love and her kids and for herself.

  • Allison

    I felt the show was very “real”. Although I would never stay with someone who betrayed me, I know others who have and have gone on to have happy marriages. I think the decision is one that only the person in the situation can make. I’m not a forgiver and I hold a grudge so I would never be able to get over being wronged. But if you have a forgiving personality, I think it’s possible to move on with your relationship. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same, but I think it can work.

  • Boo-Ollie

    Hi there! First I would like to say that we watched TT and I wanted to give you a huge hug and let you know everything will be ok. I know it is very overwhelming at the moment, but this will pass. I think you need to take some time for yourself and process everything. You need to figure out exactly what it is that Tori wants. You are a strong and beautiful woman and you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. I know how you feel b/c I’ve been cheated on and it takes everything out of you. Just remember you have many, many people behind you and you can do this!! Remember love is love and it is ok to feel anyway that you feel. Keep your chin up Mama, you can do it!! Just remember this to shall pass.

  • Lisa Gagnon

    Tori, I just wanted to let you know that I think you are very brave and courageous to come forward publicly with your marital issues. I think this was a positive thing for you and I am in awe of such courage! My heart breaks for you and your family during this difficult time. I know personally the pain involved with this type of situation and I pray you find the peace you need to make a decision that is right for you and your family. Keep the faith Tori, you are a strong woman and I am confidant you will work through this situation successfully:) God Bless you and your family! Sincerely, Lisa Gagnon.

  • Renae

    My husband also wants sex all the time. We have to two yough kids and once a week just isn’t enough for him. I’m worried he is or looking for sex somewhere else. Hope you can work through your problems. Everyone has problems good for you for sharing.

  • llopez2112

    Yup my other half was a violent drunk…no one understands why you don’t “just leave” no one knows what’s best for you but you. You have allot of work ahead of you whether or not you stay together. BTW my now husband has 11 years sober.

  • Diann

    I can see both sides of the coin, being public and being private, I would hope in making the choice to do things publicly she would keep some things private both for her and her family’s sake and her husbands sake. Perhaps using discretion will be her toughest challenge. Tori, you have a very tough road ahead of you, and many decisions to make, I hope you have a higher power to guide you in a direction that is best for all.
    I do not think I could do what you have chosen to do, but I also have not been in the spotlight as you have all your life.
    May you have wise advisers to help you through this very difficult time.

  • Kristal

    I just watched the episode on the web and I can’t begin to imagine what is going on inside of you emotionally and even physically. I do know that girl, you need to LET IT OUT. Even if you have to do it off camera you need to scream, cry, punch pillows…something but you must deal with it now if you haven’t since the filming of episode 1. You can’t leave that stuff bottled up inside and move on from it. You can’t keep that stuff hidden inside and be able to forgive him, you can’t keep that stuff hidden and be a 100% present mom. Don’t get me wrong I think you are doing a fabulous job. I have 4 kids myself ages 9,6,3, and 11 months and it’s HARD. Until you both deal with this on a couple level and you bring it all out on the table…everything that’s hurt you, everything that’s made you feel a certain way over and over needs to come out so it can be addressed. It sounds like there are years of not so great moments and behavior that resurfaced and if he’s trying to heal and move past those behaviors he needs to hear exactly how his behavior has made you feel all these years. I’m no therapist but in my opinion that is your first step to healing and your first step to forgiveness is to tell the other how you feel and then listen when they tell you how they feel. If you want this to work, and based on the episode it appears that you both do, then you have to put judgment aside and once you have it all out on the table and you’re progressively working toward healing this relationship there can be no more blame game or I did this because you did this, etc. If, from either side (you or Dean), continues to lay blame that means there is still resentment towards that action and if there is resentment nothing will get better and it will continue the crazy cycle you’ve been in. Get out of the crazy cycle, let it out, listen to what he has to say without judgment. And don’t be afraid to break down, that’s not a weakness and who cares what other people think or if you were crying.

    AND get in touch with yourself. Fill YOUR cup up. Send your kids to your moms house for the weekend and get some alone time. Get what you need, invite some people over (people that aren’t going to be judgmental or one sided because they know nothing of being IN your situation) and talk, cry, dig deep within your soul and decide what you want. Do you really want it to work and do you want it work for you? Very important…do you want it to work for YOU (not your fans, not your family, not your friends, at this point not even your kids). In the episode you said you miss your best friend, you love him and you are still in love with him. He needs to know that! If you’re being honest with yourself then he needs to know and you need to tell yourself, I love him, I want our marriage to work, I want to grow old together in harmony and love. If that’s what you want then own it, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Only you know your heart and only you know Dean well enough to decide if this has even the slightest chance of being different. PS-People can and do change, it is possible and the fact that he has asked for help is huge. Now he needs to know that you are there as a support to help him move forward and move past this because if you can’t do that he may just revert back to old ways. (why? cause it’s easier to live a life we’ve always known than to change it into something we really want).

  • janet

    For once, put yourself first…It seems as if everything and everyone takes priority over you, yes, your children do come first, but without a happy Mama, they also will not be happy…figure out deep down inside of yourself what you truly want…not what others think…do not be afraid of being a “single mom” if need be…that morning routine was exhausting to watch!…but, you do it! How about Patsy or Mehran as live in help? and as for you saying you felt bamboozled soon into your relationship…well..that made me wonder? think about what TORI wants and needs, but my advice and comments are probably irrvelevant…had a few glasses of wine!

  • Amy

    When I was 17, my father had an affair with a 20 ur old girl who most of the girls in my class were friends with. A the girls I went to school with knew what was going on. It was humiliating. When I finally found out, I confronted my father. And I kept it hidden from my mom who was taking care of her dying mother. It was heartbreaking. I didn’t want her to find out. But a few months later, she did. And she forgave my dad once again. I have so much baggage from my parents screwed up relationship. He screwed you over once, he’ll do it again. People don’t change.

  • Pamela McGlinchey

    My heart broke for you. I don’t know what the answer is, but I pray that you find peace and happiness with whatever you decide about your marriage! xx

  • Beenthere

    If you can’t love him at his worst you don’t deserve him at his best.

  • Kathi

    I can relate to how you feel, I have not been cheated on but I have trust issues living with an recovering alcoholic. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • Nicole Caprara Alling

    So aggravating to me that women would even begin to judge you for the honesty of telling your story and not the paparazzi or magazines that will do anything to sell a publication. Let’s not forget people that Tori grew up this way and she is far more qualified to make this decision for children than any of you!

    Tori, I am so very proud of you! You are racing the most difficult time of your life and are not running and hiding. You are so deserving of a happy ending, whatever that is.

    Thank you for sharing your life honestly! No one does that anymore. You are stronger than you know. Besides, on a selfish note, I will hopefully have a new book of yours to read about your journey to FairyTori Happiness!

  • Ang

    I appreciate your books and the documentary you did. If you could get through your last pregnancy you can make it through this. You seem like a very emotional strong person after reading all of your books. All I can say is this too shall pass…

  • ynot25

    you have the strength of so many people. I admire you taking this head on. I respect that you are shown calm and processing everything and thinking of the family first. No one can claim to know what you are going through, don’t let them fool ya. Remember your strength…..keep on pushing on. Lean on your “Gusband” and the Gunkles……… hugs

  • BB

    I LOVED it!!! Be strong Tori, you’ll get through this… :)

  • Suzi

    Stay strong! Do what you feel in your heart and take your time. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

  • Lela Danielle Mason

    Tori, its easy to say what some would do or how bad they think you are for being a celeb or for even entertaining the idea of getting back with Dean, but here is the bottom line. Only YOU, can know what you are able to forgive and get over. Your circle of peeps, the jackoff reporters and photoidiots, the therapist who is to help Dean, all of these people can’t say what’s right for you only you can.

    When I look at you I don’t see Tori the celeb, or Tori Dean’s wife. I see Tori the MOM. And to me you have 4amazing reasons to take care of you, and do what is right for you. We all make mistakes and all sometimes have demons we have to overcome. Stay strong and true to yourself and I think you will do what’s right for you.

    If I had one grain of advice to give though, it would be you need to talk to someone that is just for you. A theapist, that is not in your circle that can be objective to what is going on and that you can feel safe venting to. Also if having Dean come is what you want to happen, don’t be afraid to let it, and don’t shut out the hurt. Letting him see what its done and hearing the hell its been, will ultimately help strengthen youand he if that’s what you want. Hope you are getting to the goal that you can feel safe with. Wishing your family the best.

    LELA.

  • Cassie Gardner

    Applauding your courage to face this head on. Many give up. Yes, this might not have a happy ending, but that’s your decision. I think you showing the world what’s really going on is amazing. Your children will always know how strong of a mother they have and they’ll remember this when they are faced with tough times.

  • Beth

    So sorry that you and your children are having to go through this. People are not perfect, and it is hard to see them learn this at such a young age. Proud of you for how strong you are, I loved watching the show, and you being able to tell it from you, instead of the stupid paparazzi

  • Jen

    I just want to say I respect how you hold it all together and take care of your kids with so much strength. I have small Children as well and hardship or not, you are being a wonderful mother.

  • Stephanie

    I really dont know what to say T. I have been a fan of yours and Deans for a really long time. All I can say is be there for your kids. Dean needs to deal with his problems. You are a great person and I know you will do what is right for you and the babies. I am married going on ten years and have three kids. I have had chances to cheat on my husband but had to think hard on how that would effect my family. Watching the show last night I was crying with you. I is very understandable why you wanted this on tv. Peiple were going to find out but like you said you want it in your words and have the real truth. Be tough T.

  • SinCityKitty77

    I can totally relate to what she’s going thru, and it is totallt and completely devastating. I do feel for the children, but don’t blame Tori in the slightest as these situations can be all-consuming. Love you Tori!!

  • Jenni

    My heart goes out to you Tori. Your morning routine was quite familiar. I have 2 kids, 2 and 4. You are doing a good job. Keep strong. You deserve the best, as the kids do. They are adorable btw and very well behaved. Wishing you luck as you navigate this path. Life is not easy! Trust in yourself.

  • Kathy

    Tori,
    You were born famous and as you well know it doesn’t matter what choice you make on any situation you can’t please everyone so whatever you do as long as it comes from an honest and loving place in your heart and you feel good about what you have control over than you have done everything right…there is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings (as I tell my kiddos) no one can tell you how to feel and any feelings you have are the right feelings because they are YOUR feelings…your heart…your soul…and you can not control the actions of others…because you are famous and your personal life is always in the media I think that you talking on camera about your personal life is kind of like a non famous person talking to a group of friends it is healthy for you to be able to say what you want and I personally applauds you!!! I am just recently divorced after 13 years of being married and 14 months of one of the toughest divorces I have ever heard of under the most disgusting circumstances and trust me you wouldn’t believe me if I told you but let’s just say that IF the facts of my divorce ever became public knowledge I would 100% want to be the one to tell my 4 kiddos the TRUTH about what really happened and not some strangers made up story…yes IF that day comes of course it will be hard to do but I will want to do it on my terms…you unfortunately do not have the luxury of your kiddos not having to know the truth so it is ALWAYS better for a child to hear the truth from you rather than have some tabloid telling things that are not true…no matter if you guys can work it out or not that is something that only you can decide not Dean and absolutely not the public but no matter what you do you will have a supporter in me because I think you are such an amazing person and deserve happiness…I can tell you this much though after my divorce was final earlier this month I felt like I wanted nothing to do with love ever again BUT I watched True Tori just the 1st episode and I honestly was touched by the love that you could see in your eyes for Dean and it is very obvious how much in love with him you are (and hurt) but I felt so moved by that love that I honestly know in my heart that no matter how a relationship works out in the end that I know I WANT to have that feeling that you have again someday (maybe not now but someday when I’m ready) because that feeling is worth the risk…thank you so much Tori for sharing because I think I had forgotten what it is that makes people want to fight for…I wish you lots of inner peace with lots of hugs for you and the kiddos…sending heart healing thoughts to you and your family from Kathy in New Mexico

  • kim

    I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m praying for you all. Hang in there!

  • Kathy

    I watched the show last night and I was extremely emotional.
    You are stronger than you realize.
    I myself went through this with my ex-husband, the amount of cheat time was different.(3 months and I was clueless)
    He was my soul mate,”the one/only”; he tore my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it.
    I was always of the school of thought if he cheated he’s gone.
    We have a son together.
    It is very different when children are involved.
    You are so raw/exposed, you do not think clearly.
    As a Mother the children ALWAYS come first.
    We tried for a year to work it out; we did not live under the same roof.
    The longer he tried to “get himself together”, the stronger I became.
    The real me began to come alive again.
    I realized that for all involved we would be better off ending the marriage.
    This was such a difficult decision for me; my parents had a beautiful marriage.
    I knew I would always be wondering if he was telling me the truth about everything.
    That is no way to have a relationship with anyone much less your husband.
    My one regret is that I made everything too EASY for him!!!
    Divorce,visitation(didn’t relocate so he could have relationship with his son)
    I always consider everyone’s feelings before my own, this is dangerous around manipulative people.
    My only words of wisdom I can share are how much of yourself do you want to sacrifice/You will have an AHA moment and then you will decide what is right for you/your children!!!
    In the end, when the dust settles you are the one who has to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I AM HAPPY WITH WHO I AM”.
    You have a great support system/so do your children, I was alone/so was my son.(father was too busy with social life)

    You CAN do this without him if necessary!!!

    • iwillsurvive

      So true Jenni, in how much stronger we become…and we don’t even realize it’s happening! One day I looked in the mirror and was like ‘hello there, you can and are doing EVERYTHING , you go girl!…..!~:)

  • trace228

    Tori, my girlfriends and I were texting each other last night during the premiere. We loved watching you on 90210 and have watched all of your reality shows (and the reruns several times) since. We think you are an amazing, lovely woman who we’d be proud to have in our circle of friends. We hate that you are going through this and we really feel for you, especially in seeing what it takes to care for 4 (beautiful) children on your own. We’re on your side, whatever happens, and we send our love to you and your family. Several of us have been through similar situations with men we trusted who lied and cheated on us too. You are brave to put this on air. Hold your head high and ignore the nasty comments from people who think you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing. This is your story and your life, own it, and know there are a lot of people out there that support you in what you are doing. Sending lots of love your way.

  • Jessica

    Only you know whats best for you and your family, forget what people say or may think. They are not living your life. Do what make you happy and the rest will follow!

  • Tara

    Tori, your life is not perfect, my life is not perfect, these women making comments do not have perfect lives. None of us pretend to be perfect but to judge another so harshly for their actions, public actions that they were born into, can be cruel and hurtful-not helpful. Your morning routine was was the second most heart breaking segment next to your face-to-face confrontation with Dean. You handled everything courageously and eloquently for your children. Do NOT be afraid to lose your self when you are alone or with your closest friends. You need to grieve and hate and most importantly forgive. Forgive yourself for thinking it’s your fault, forgive Dean for not being honest about ALL of his issues from day one. It will be a long process but from a long time fan I’m rooting for you and crying for you and wish I could help you in some way. Either way you will love your children and hopefully put your health (mental and physical) on a high priority, because you will be making most of their memories now. Be healthy and happy as best as you can be.

  • Anita

    Fight for your marriage and fight hard. It is worth it for u and the children. It’s not easy either way. But in the long run you have more to lose if u do leave him.

  • Courtney

    Tori,

    My parents went through a similar experience and I’m grateful they fought though it. Although it was hard and they tried to hide it from us, we did feel it emotionally. However, today we are all in a better place. Do what’s right for you and what you feel is right. But make sure your head and your heart are on the same page because otherwise it’s not healthy for you and your family. Kudos to you for putting your story out there and being so strong for your kids. They will look back on this years from now when they are starting their own relationships and respect you to no end. I speak from experience. Always a fan and look forward to following your story! Ps- fuck the paps. Your fans know who you are!

  • Brandy

    Tori your an awesome mom!!!, don’t think that its something you did, I’ve been there, I told my self that it was my fault that I was treated that way, and its a very horrible thing to have to go through.. I’ve been a single mom for 51/2 years… don’t worry yourself over what everyone says about “TRUE TORI” I loved it and I cried with you the whole episode…. I think that it’s AWESOME that your putting your story out there!! Stay STRONG!! :)

    YOUR FRIEND :)

  • Kathy Millsap

    I’ve loved all of your reality show and read several of your books and you just come across as such a genuine person. I am always amazed that someone that comes from such wealth and privilege is so down to earth. That being said, I would like to offer some advice. Do what your heart tells you. If you love your husband and trust that he will not stray again, then put your full heart back in and drown out the naysayers. You have to do what is right for you and not what is right for anyone else. Children are resilient as long as they have two loving parents, no matter your choice, they will come out fine as long as you and your husband are stable. Happiness and love makes stable children and adults.

  • Designerbaker

    It’s very sad to see you like that so heartbroken. Bottom line you can’t live with someone you can’t trust. You will drive yourself crazy every time he goes out or is away from you filming etc… the doubt will always be there. You deserve better than this. It’s a complete betrayal to you and your kids. I understand that being a single mom of 4 kids would be difficult to handle all by yourself but you are strong and it can be done. I’m sure you’ll have the help your mother and all your friends will be there for you be your support system as long as you need it. Don’t go back with him you can’t live the rest of your life with someone you can’t trust you will be extremely unhappy living like that. Like your friend said he’s a piece of crap and you shouldn’t be with him.

  • Robin

    Stay strong Tori! You are a very kind spirit and you are going through one of the hardest periods of your life. You are a good mom doing the best you can. I don’t have all the facts & details, so I’ll spare you the dump him or keep him advice, but I will say this: If you eventually decide to forgive him and stay married, it will end up being okay. It doesn’t make you weak, he’s your husband and you are in love with a deeply flawed human (we all are to different extents). If love isn’t enough to overcome this chapter in your life and the trust just can’t be rebuilt, that will be okay too. You’re definitely in the eye of the storm right now, so don’t force yourself to make any quick decisions. I think that you are still trying to process this and you are not allowing yourself to be as mad at Dean as you need to be in order to ever start the true healing. When he asked you to slap him and you didn’t want to, I kind of wanted to slap him for you. You need to let him know that he may have destroyed the foundation of your family and you are furious.
    I’m wishing you the best and hope that each day moves you a few steps closer to a reconciliation or a new direction for you and your children. You will find happiness again one day either way, so try not to be too hard on yourself.

  • harriot_porter

    I must say how brave I think you are to go through that. It really touched home with me as almost the exact same time period as you i found out my husband was cheating. It was over Christmas too and he was gone again for two weeks this time. Anyway i do feel your pain Tori and you like me or any woman who goes through this did not deserve it. For me lying to my face was almost harder than the other stuff as i know it had been going on for sometime and the betrayal and hurt almost gets to much to bear. After nearly 30 years together we are now getting divorced and i am starting over again. Keep your friends and the ones that truly are there for you and genuinely care about you close. Whatever you do with your marriage, it will never be the same and the trust is soooo hard to build up. you are doing a fantastic job being mommy on your own. Perhaps a nanny once in a while so you can have some time to yourself might be helpful. you need to look after yourself to care about your beautiful children. you can do it. Best of luck to you and i understand what you are dealing with. Hugs to you and your babies.

  • squibmom

    I’ve been there too…and I could honestly say you can get thru it if you put your mind to it and really want it….we did….Prayers to all of you….good luck…My heart breaks for you and the kids…

  • Sarah

    I couldn’t stop tearing up watching your pain and watching you hold it all in to be there for your babies. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to go in this situation only the way that’s best for you. And you will figure that out in due time. That scene of your morning routine broke my heart. You are stronger than you know and wiser than you give yourself credit for. Let the path that is for your highest good unfurl before you. Deep breaths, and lots of love from this mama to you.

  • Christie Phillips

    I’ve been through similar experiences as you, ended up getting divorced now my ex is no longer part of my children’s life he wanted nothing to do with us.i was single mom. The hardest part is anger. I had to learn to forgive him after 11 years. I believe the hardest part if you decide to make it work, both of you need to forgive what he’s done and he has to show you trust. He needs to build this. You have the power of deciding if you can make this work or move in. Both decisions is difficult and my heart breaks for you and your children. Remember to stay strong as a woman, find out what and who you are and grow. Your children will thank you down the road no matter what decisiveness you make. I got your back 100% whatever you decide:)

  • Colleen Foughty Wick

    Keep your head up girlfriend! So sad to hear your story and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I will be watching each week and hope that you and Dean can make it work for your 4 beautiful children. Look to Yahweh and put him #1 and you can rebuild your trust and marriage.

  • Bec

    One last comment from me.
    My first husband cheated on me, everyone kept telling me it was happening, I was 19 years old, he was 27. I didn’t believe them. We were in love (well, I was anyway, he cheated, so pretty much a red flag he didn’t love me) . I helped him get full custody of his 2 young children. I was at home, being a Mom to his babies. When I thought he was working, he was out screwing every one he could. So many people kept telling me to open my eyes. Just so happens, they were right. Caught him in a hotel room with a girl from our town. I left. He begged me to come back, promised he would change, admitted to several affairs. Counseling, all that crap, I forgave him, went home and tried to make my marriage work. 3 months later, I get a phone call from a friend, telling me I needed to go over and visit my BEST friend, NOW, she said. I thought something was wrong with my friend, so I went. Knocked, no answer. Used my key (she also had one to my house) first thing I see is my husbands boots, that I bought. Heard the shower running…walked in the bathroom and their was my husband and best friend, having sex in the shower. I was pregnant, hadn’t told him yet. I was devasted. I lost my baby. I list my marriage. I lost my step babies, all because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. We divorced, he remarried, twice, both women divorced him for cheating on them. Once a cheater, always a cheater, Tori. He’s not going to change. Move on, find someone that truly loves you and respects you, because Dean doesn’t. I moved on and have been married for 20 years now. Great guy, he had been cheated on by his wife, so we agreed, you want someone else, tell me, we will move on. Hasn’t happened. I’m going to grow old with this wonderful, loving, respectful man. You can have that too.

  • Lela Ellis Robichaux

    Watching your show that I DVR’d – oh, Tori! My husband cheated on me three years ago and all those emotions came right back and my heart feels squeezed and is aching for you! We have come through still together and so much stronger now than before, but it has not been easy. If you both chose the road to heal your marriage, it will be hard, I won’t sugar-coat it. I can feel every single thing you are saying and explaining – I felt like I was walking outside of myself for so long. I did not trust him for so long. If he is committed, he will suck it up and deal with the fact that HE is the one that tore down the trust and HE is the one who must help you gain it back. IT CAN BE DONE! Please hear me when I say that – it can. You need SUPPORT from your friends. They need to respect the decision you make to heal your marriage and support you and that means not breaking him down in front of you because that just sets the healing back. I love my husband so much – I loved him even in the moments he admitted to having an affair. I loved him in the moments I obsessed over snooping through all of his things to relieve my mind that he was telling me the complete truth (that lasted a while and I still even get tinges of doubt). Just the fact that he has committed to getting help and followed through means WORLDS. Don’t give up. It is the hardest road you will ever walk, but the reward at the end can be wonderful. Take it from someone who has gone through this and healed their marriage. Love and light to you and all your family!

  • Mary

    He does not seem sincere. Either this is a pre-planned thing to get ATTN and $$ or he is a total Dbag. Well, he is…anyway… No talent, no more looks, cheater, prob gold digger. No one likes him but you.

    Dump the creep! You deserve better. Once a cheater… what is the explanation for the cheating? Depression? Come on…!!!!

  • Jeannie5

    I don’t want to pass judgment but I don’t believe him. He got caught and he wants to come back. What I would like to see is the OLD JERRY SPRINGER lie detector test. If he takes it, I’ll believe what it says. You are too smart and such a good mother. He is a user. At my age I’ve had them (users) before. I am watching you become a train wreck. You don’t deserve this. We stay for the sake of our children but does that really help them. You are teaching them to settle. Why should you be with him and he doesn’t respect nor love you. He may love you but he isnt IN LOVE with you. That’s ok because you have a lot to offer and someone will love you. Don’t use your children as an excuse to be with him or have him in your life. Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman in the world and men cheated on her. Some men are just dogs It has nothing to do with your lack of anything. What you are forgetting is,You are the prize not Dean…Be careful exposing your life to the world. Jackie Kennedy took part of the news to her grave. She didn’t confirm anything because she wanted to protect her childrens future. Everything you are exposing will HAUNT your children for the rest of their lives. Money isn’t everything. Will they understand or will they be angry for you exposing what should be private to the world. Dean has no money and he needs the exposure. HES ON A COOKING SHOW! Really an “A” lister. NOT! He is trying to save his A&%. Tori it isn’t worth it. Save yourself and your children. He isn’t sick he is a SICKO…..Praying for you

  • jenni

    Dean doesn’t a break, a trip to “rehab”. He needs to face you and be there 110% for you and his children. He is giving you time to grieve him all you can do now is take care of you, your babies need you to be healthy and strong.

  • Emily

    You’re strong Tori and you can get through anything! <3 Give things time, then if you really really love him, forgive him and try again, but you have to earn back his trust. And if he cheats again, then that's it. Don't take him back. I've always been for 2nd chances. Give him another chance. Xoxo hope everything works out for you Tori. *Hugs*

  • M Kuxhaus

    Hang in there. This too shall pass.

  • BFab

    Be strong Tori. I’ll just say from personal experience, good people make bad decisions. The question is, can you see your family happy together in 5 years, 10 years? It’s hard to know right now so don’t make any rash decisions.

  • M

    He’s a master manipulator. Leave him!!!

  • Jeannie5

    BY the way sometimes its too hard to love someone. If you have to work for their satisfaction, is it worth it? Love is not suppose to be difficult Love comes naturally. When its over, its time to go….Don’t force it. A size 9 foot will NOT fit into a size 7 shoe. If his love isn’t there LET IT GO!

  • Stacey

    Up

  • KMHmomof4

    I just watched tonight and I felt like I was watching my own story. (minus the paparazzi). I also have 4 children, I found out I was pregnant with my fourth while going through our situation. My husband also went into treatment for depression and to work on his issues. We were able to make it through and we’re 2 years past it now and it hurts much less. However, just know that everyone will want to tell you what to do. Some will feel strongly that you should leave and some will say to try to stay, but only you will know what will work for your family. My advice is to take the time to figure that out and don’t let people pressure you to make a decision. Best of luck!

  • Jennifer married 20 years

    i can see why u are doing show..but it is true what people say..u shouldnt do this publicly..i know u lived most of your life in through public eye..message me if u wanna talk…something important but not public …

  • Iwillsurvive

    The worst pain I ever felt was when I trusted the Man I loved, thought the Sun rose and set in him, and he cheated. I could kick myself because I allowed him to manipulate me into thinking all the wrong in our relationship was MY fault. I went back knowing what had happened and willing to accept my part of the blame for our relationship going bad because I had to admit, I hadn’t been easy to live with. I worked hard ‘for us’ because I thought what we had was worth the fight….until he met the redhead, then I left for good and I haven’t looked back. I am now in a good relationship with great Man, and we have been together 5 years, and we will be married August 2014. I am sad for your hurt, because, I believe you love(d) him. If there is any part of you that is in doubt that you were not giving 100%, I say, try and work it out. But, if YOU know, that you have always given 100% to your relationship and this is the result? Then, walk. Free yourself. We are often scared to take a step in one direction or the other, but life always goes on and the days pass, and hurt passes into something less, painful.. Do whatever YOU feel YOU have to do and be honest with yourself about your motives so that wherever this difficult path leads, you will know that YOU have done your best to honor the Vow you took when you married him. Life hurts sometimes Tori, and sometimes, unfortunately, love does too. I truly wish your family the best possible outcome.

  • tera

    So sad I hope and pray Dean deals with his demons and gets better for you and your children.

  • Dre

    In August I found out (on my 5th Wedding Anniversary) that my husband wanted to end our marriage. Over the following month I found out so much…. So many lies, illegal behavior and yes, cheating too. Two weeks ago I found out the woman he left me for is pregnant and our divorce isn’t even final yet.

    To see your pain makes me hurt for you. Not pitty, but hurt. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy and it’s so sad to see you go through it. I am pulling for you Tori, and your kids. You are strong and I hope you know you’ll be ok on your own if that’s what you decide to do. You have a lot of us rooting for you.

  • Mrs. B

    I just want to hug you! My heart hurts after watching. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground! Be heard! Take care of YOU. I know it’s easier said than done because you’re a mom of 4 but they depend on you. You are so strong, I know you will get through this!!! Xoxo

  • Jeannie5

    I promise I am through but everytime I watch this I want to punch him…

  • Barb’s Crystal Ball KNOWS ALL!

    Tori, Tori, Tori, come on now! First, you have 3 Nannies, this we know for A FACT! You faking it on your “reality” show like you are taking care of your own children by yourself is a JOKE! We have all seen the pics of the different Nannies w/ your children DAILY! Second, where is this “Emily” person? She mysteriously comes out to US weekly w/ her “story” then immediately disappears! Then you go TO THE SAME RAG MAGAZINE and tell your story! HMMMM! No other rag, tmz, radar online, NOONE can find her! You had NOTHING going on, no show, no interviews, only setup pap pix then BOOM all of a sudden Dean the man whore gets “caught” cheating! Now of course everyone believes it because we all know that both Tori & Dean are both homewreckers, both were married to other people and we all know Dean had a son and was in the middle of adopting a baby girl w/ his first wife when he decided to leave them all behind for Tori. So here’s how I see Tori & Dean’s “truth”: 2 Pathetic Homewrecking Whores who will do ANYTHING to stay in the spotlight, who already PIMP OUT their kids for attention by calling paps out to take arranged photo shoots, decided nothing was happening for them so they decided to capitalize on their homewrecking image and portray Tori as the “victim”. Then they get a show, cover of magazines, every talk show, gossip show, etc is talking about them. Then they “surprise surprise” decide to make it work and overcome it all and stay together and “rebuild” their “fairytale”. This “Emily” person will never be heard from again, never seen, no pics, no friends/classmates/former lovers/family/NOONE! SHOCKING

    • Ellen Thompson

      Barb you are the only one here I see that’s got it figured out spot on. There is no Emily, except for someone that was paid by Tori and Dean to come out and tell this fabricated story. She had no work, he hosted a season of Chopped Canada, a cooking show. He didn’t get much dough for that (no pun intended). Other than that they had no income, other than mom’s billions that is.
      This is what Mary Jo, Dean’s ex said on her twitter and she would know.

    • Cammy

      Hmmm….that’s very conspiratorial but you may be right. I did think it was odd that she was running around the house without any helpers. I too thought she had a nanny. Also, where’s her Mom?

  • Lauren Doane

    Your setting an amazing example of how a real woman and mother goes through struggles. Tabloids will say what they want, you are teaching your babies to stand up for themselves I have always loved your fam and if people make negative comments on here its their own problems thry are ignoring keep being an amazing example tori me and my four little ones here, who are all under 7 also, love you guys.

  • Cheryl

    I have never posted to one of these blogs or reality shows. But I am both sicken & sadden with what TV and people put out there. I am sick of hearing how Tori has no private life. What’s the # if shows she’s done on both her life & her kids. I am appalled that she as a mother puts her kids life on display for the world to see. While stories in tabloids can be seen. They can be explained to the Kids PRiIVATELY. That show is her own words and can Never be unseen or taken back. What have we become. To bring TV into your sad situation & into a therapy sessions is twisted on so many levels. Take care of your kids & work on your marriage if you so choose. But don’t try using your family & kids to make a buck. Try and live quietly & privately. Her Mother seems to do just fine in that regard. Quit crying about NO private life then showing up once again on a Reality show about you & family. Stick to Acting or working like people do everyday. Your not helping anyone but yourself.
    Signed
    Sick of disgusting Reality TV

  • Ashley E.

    Tori, I love you. Stay strong, always. In this world you only have your children and yourself. When a man betrays your heart, it hurts like a bullet. If you and Dean decide to continue in your marriage; trust is key. My therapist says that when rebuilding trust, you have to look at it like a “connect the dots.” Each dot is a fact. A truth that solidifies your love and honesty. Something you can see and feel. Those spaces in between the dots, the trust, is what you have to believe in blindly. Believing that each day you trust, you reach another dot. As time passes you begin to see the bigger picture. Hopefully one that’s filled with happiness and love. I truly wish you the best. Love, Ashley.

  • One 4 love

    I don’t have cable so I couldn’t watch, but Tori and Dean should stay together. What should be learned is to push forward together. Should not be making the sex (Tori ) the center of this, that is life for most. By the way it is a shame your Mon doesn’t give you some of that family’s money now we are living in the here and now. I feel Tori should be give enough money to live a generous life.

  • Luci Lu

    I have mixed feeling, but they are all for you. Your torment on this situation is very visable. Your love for your husband is also right there in your face. I don’t know right now if I believe he deserves that kind of love. But we all deserve a second chance. I have watched your reality shows from the beginning. I feel as if I went through Liam and Stella’s birth with you. I always admired your family. My worry now is for you. You are painfully thin, obviously distraught and trying to raise your children as if all is fine. You MUST take care of yourself. Your husband was in treatment, he is on his own now to face what he has done and do all he can to keep his family. YOU must concentrate on yourself as well as your children. My prayers are with you. The program last night affected me, not because I have gone through anything like this, but because I know how much my family means to me and how I would be in pain for them. I am not a young woman, I am an older woman, who has seen a lot. Please take care of yourself Tori. God Bless you and the children.

  • Diane Emond

    I feel for you Tori and what your going through right now. I felt your pain and shed a tear while watching you cry. I have been there and I know how it feels..I really do. You do what feels right for you in your heart Tori..not what others tell you what they think you should do. Its your life and you have to live it ..not them. They should support you and respect you regardless of whatever decision you come to..even if it is not the same decision that they would choose. Dean made some REAL bad decisions Tori..and as I said I have been where you are right now but even so I would say to you to think about what you have invested in this relationship. As long as you know your self worth Tori..and that this is in no way happened because you weren’t good enough..it’s up to you if you want to try to get through this. I will say this..NO ONE knows but Dean if he can change (maybe even he doesn’t)..the real question is ..do you want to give him that chance? Will you always wonder if you don’t? and…Is it worth trying to save?…I wish you all the BEST for you and your family…and I for one won’t criticize or fault you for doing whatever it is that you feel is right for you..your feelings are the MOST important in this equation. One day at a time..and don’t forget to take a moment to just breathe. If you have faith in God pray..the Prayer of Serenity calmed me in trying times.

  • Tia Prince Srachta

    Tori…This is the first time I watched any of your Reality shows…I tuned in because I wanted to hear your side of the story…I am a 42-year old working (just a waitress, but it’s enough for me to be home with my kids when they need me) mom of 4 beautiful kids, married to my second husband and I completely understand every moment you were going through last night…my heart is breaking for you and the kids and I just want to let you know that for every negative mean thing being said…there are twice as many unsaid feelings that support you… I hate how many people are tearing you apart over this…i think what you are doing is incredibly healthy for you and your kids…Please don’t give up on your own happiness though…Dean may not be able to give you what you ultimately need and that’s okay…you will be fine without him…you are stronger than you ever realized you could be and If it was possible I would be your life-long friend and support you eternally…i am so glad I put aside my own pre-conceived notions and took the time to listen to you…Please know you have more support than you realize and there are genuinely good people out here in the internet/tv watching world who believe in you!!! Hang in there and if you ever find yourself in Illinois, you have a friend here willing to have a cup of tea or coffee and talk!!!

  • A fan

    Your family and your marriage are worth fighting for!! None of this is your fault! Believe that! Praying for you! You are beautiful, inside and out!

  • Buterfly

    I was sad to hear what you, the children and Dean are going through. Life doesn’t always go the way we plan or see it in our minds. Nothing is ever black and white. This your life, Tori, You do whatever it is you need to do. Don’t let others judge you for staying or for leaving or for having the life that you have. No one, and I mean NO ONE, will ever know what’s it’s like to walk in your shoes or feel the things you feel. True friends will respect your decisions and not pass judgment. You have but one life and if you decided to take the hard route and try to make your marriage work or whether you decided to part ways; it’s no one’s business but your own. It took me 46 years to learn not to care what others think. Yes, I know you live a public life but you still hold the power to let go of the things you cannot change and be true to who you are. I don’t judge you or Dean or anyone. We all have our demons and we all have to live with them or deal with them. So, just be true to what’s important to you and, believe me, the rest will fall into place. Not every little decision or problem has to be dealt with immediately. You do have the right to take your time until you’ve come up with the best solution or resolution for YOU! And, no, it’s not impossible to love and hate someone at the same time. It just means you care. Indifference means that you don’t. Hugs.

  • Renee

    You do whatever you need to do to get through this… be strong and remember you need to have trust…… my first husband cheated and was an addict. I tried for 10 years and just couldn’t do it anymore. If you try to make it work, you will always wonder who he is talking to on his phone, who he is texting, where he is going every time he walks out the door ….. It’s no way to live. you deserve better and so do your kids. God bless you.

  • Kiley

    Loved that you opened up. I can’t imagine doing that, ever. That was very brave & I’m truly sorry that happened to you. Every marriage, relationship goes through things we can’t even fathom. It’s hard, it’s work but we all pull through. After all we are women :) We are tough, we CAN get through anything. Never doubt that you aren’t enough because you are. You are a great mommy and whatever you choose I hope the people you love will support you. Love you Tori. Thanks for sharing your story. Not everyone is perfect. Thanks for being so real!

  • Cheryl

    Just a PS to my prior post. Forgot than poor Tori cheated with Dean in his prior marriage. How about that wives story. Maybe she could have gone on TV and cried about you. Your happy little family came about by the destruction of another’s. A boy with a long distance father. And you go on to play the victim. You were what you dispise now. Wise words were told to me yrs ago by my 5 yr old daughter “When people do Bad things they get BARMA. Sucks to be on the other end doesn’t it but put it out for the world to see & hear.Anything to make a buck. Despicable You.

    • Hope

      Barma can also follow name-calling and shaming people. Just a thought! :)

  • Cindy

    Tori I loved your show but felt so bad for what you are going through! Dean I thought you were perfect for each other & just don’t understand how people look for affairs outside of the marriage without even telling the one you love first! I have been with my husband since I was 15 & have been married now for 36 years & I would never go outside of my marriage, there is a lot you can do to spice things up! People somehow feel that the grass is always greener on the other side but if you tend to your On my way! grass & water & nurture it it will grow! You have a lot of showing Torri how much you love her & how you will never do that again & that’s if she chooses she can forgive you!god bless you both & your children & I pray it all works out for all! Oxoxox

  • Lisa from CT

    I think it is great for you to say face to all the paparazzi by telling the true story. You brought us with you on your journey from “Inn Love” to “Home Sweet Hollywood”. You have written books that we all have enjoyed your life adventures in your own words. Why not share the most important thing in your life. If you feel empowered to do this, we should love and support you, no matter what. Give her a break. This is her therapy. Seven years and 4 children later, ask yourself…”Is it worth it?” “Do I fight for it?” Only you have to live with these choices. Whatever decision you make, don’t do it for the children…Do it for you. If you are happy, it will show and they will be happy.

  • Jamie super mom

    Just watched True Tori & my heart just broke for you Tori! I can’t imagine going thru what you are esp having to continue normal life for your babies. I’m so impressed with your bravery but feel scared for you too. I know your story will help others but I worry about the impact this kind of raw honesty on TV could have on your family. Please take care of yourself & either get some extra help or have a trusted friend/family member stay with you. You will be in my heart & prayers sweety!

  • Kim Katnik

    I personally loved the show. We follow the media, and being fans of Tori and Dean, and meeting personally in the past, we were really bummed when we read what happened in the tabloids. People who disagree with the way she’s trying to set the record straight need to understand that celebrities have no other choice but to go through drastic measures like this to set the record straight. Everyone handles pain and receives closure differently. Any parent of 2+ kids knows we barely have time to use the restroom alone so there is very little time for any busy family to find time for closure or deal with any situation out of the norm. This is her way to vent, get closure, and let her fans know what’s going on. As she said last night with her busy life and the kids, she’s hasn’t had the time to grieve. All these negative comments, I don’t even understand why you would waste an hour of your time watching the show just to get online and bash Tory and then battle other people commenting. It’s really sad. As human beings we should have compassion for anyone that is suffering or in pain. Instead of talking negative, you should be praying for healing for this entire family and those beautiful kids.

    As far as the “bad parent” comments, I disagree. I was actually on the same plane last May 2013 with Tory and the kids and stayed in the same city in Mexico. On several occasions I saw her with the kids and there is no doubt in my mind of how good of a mother she is, how protective she is, her concerns for their future and her love for the kids. Those kids will grow up loved regardless. I’m sure regardless of the outcome of their marriage, they will still co-parent nicely and their kids will be fine. All though she is struggling with what happened, she still makes sure those kids talk to their dad every night. She’s trying to keep things as normal as possible for them.

    Tory, I hope you don’t waste your time reading this blog you created but if you do, know your true fans that have loved you from the start, support you, we will pray the best decision is made for your family, and you find peace and start to heal.

  • MC

    Hi Tori,
    I do know what you are feeling, it’s not easy, can you and will you trust again,? Time is a great healer, but it will take a long time…. Your sweet girl friends are a wonderful support but they really do not know what you are feeling. I’ve learned over the years, not to be critical of anyone unless you have walked in their shoes. Your life , children and marriage is worth fighting for for especially in this throw away disposable world we live in. I have been down your path, and yes still married…. You’ve been blessed with 4 beautiful healthy children, you are not alone in this journey though at times you may feel so very isolated with your thoughts and feelings, but God has you in the palm of His hand, and from Him you will get your strength.

  • Yem

    If you feel that Dean is truly, truly sorry, I believe that you two can solve your problems if both are committed. It worked with us… Now our relationship is even more open because we talk about our problems more easily.

    But when earning trust back, in my opinion you have all the right to for example call him (like where’s he at/who are with him etc) when ever you feel distressed! Because he caused it, so he has to help in all ways what you feel is the best way… That helped me, that I was allowed to do that, to call and text him when ever he was somewhere. I just wanted a confirmation, so I was 100% sure that he wasn’t with some girl. And I asked so many times when he was away, like what’s he doing and stuff like that. Sometimes I felt crazy for calling and texting him so many times, but then I just reminded myself that if this helps with my anxiety, I have all the right to do this because I wasn’t the one who caused this.

    The feelings of sadness, loneliness, betrayal, anger, worthless, anxiety etc lasted about one year. I thought that the feelings would never go away, but they did, because I found the right ways to help myself. :) But it’s important that you both are committed!

    I hope all the best for you and Dean, hope that you can heal and that Dean is willing to help you in the best ways!

    Don’t care about haters, only you know what is the best for you and your children. I think the show is good thing. It shows that you are strong and brave human being.

  • disgusted

    Can’t believe you turn a private family matter into a money-making scheme. Did you think about Dean’s previous wife and how she must have felt when she found out he was having an affair with you, tori? And then he runs away to “rehab” so he doesn’t have to deal with the repercussions of his betrayal to you, his current wife. The only innocents are the children!

    • Cammy

      Yep. It was so tough to watch the little ones go anywhere with her and have them traumatized by the paparazzi. I now see why some stars take their kids out of Los Angeles to give them a more normal childhood.

  • Susan Krauss Akins

    What station does the show air on?

  • Raff

    Is he sorry? Yes. Does he regret it? Yes. Will he do it again if the opportunity arises and he thinks he will get away with it? Unfortunately that’s also probably yes. There are men who cheat and men who don’t. Those who do have low impulse control and a weaker moral fibre. They are like drug addicts who only think of the now and not of the future or possible consequences. Some women are OK with that and you may be one of them. It means turning a blind eye to the affairs that will undoubtably happen over the years. Staying with him for the sake of your family and trying not to turn crazy or bitter with jealousy. Or you leave him and look for a man with stronger morals to grow old with. A big decision, I send you strength and love.

  • Eksu

    I would do the same..it is best for kids later to understand and make their own decisions – not about media news, but their parents feelings and comments. The most difficult time will be passed and solution will be known. Knowing your husbands weakness is not always your problem, but his also. He must find a way to ensure that something like this will never happen again. It is never about warm body or having sex..it is about hurting your family, your best friend and humiliating them all. This kind of situations are avoidable by talking and communicating and trust. Apparently these parts were missing before in many reasons. You cannot blame yourself, you did not let your family down, he did! Be a friend first, try to understand and let your own feelings to be heard. Later you can decide about love :)

  • Tamara Floyd Seiber

    I watched this last night when I got home from work and cried for you and your family! I am so sad to see you do this all on your own. It took me back to a couple years ago when I was alone because my husband was gone because of drug addiction. He his now in recovery and doing better. I feel for you because I know how painful and alone it can be to feel like a single parent with your best friend gone! Your family is beautiful and I have enjoyed watching your shows for years now and you know I think it is good to see how even though you are in the public eye, you are still a person with emotions and real life issues just like the public who watch. Sometimes life is just not fair and I so wish for you all to have better times. I know you do have people who are very supportive around you but still nothing compares to your husband being there with you! I honestly did not know this had happened due to not reading the gossip mags at all. I think they are overrated and make money off of trying times or just fake gossip! I did not know until I seen on Lifetime when this show would be televised! Thoughts and prayers for you Tori and your family! I think it takes a strong and brave person to do this and will help others with similar situations. And I remember you saying that you felt weak for having an emotion, that is not true! Thank you for sharing!

  • Kim

    Tori, I think that you are an amazing woman! I’ve been following your reality shows & Lifetime movies…I think that you are a true inspiration to others….seeing your daily lives & the struggles that come along with it…I think you pull it all together very well!…
    Also, I feel your pain on the issue of Deans cheating…I have been there & know the pain & insecurities & trust issues that come along with it! know that you are in my thoughts & that I wish the very best for you & your Family!

  • tina

    My heart brakes for her. I know all to well what she is going through and I just wanna hug her and tell her its gonna be okay that its not her fault this happened. I cried while watching true tori. Poor girl but at least she is telling the story and not some lying ass tabloid.

  • Jamie Tobin

    I have been following Tori since 90210 days and all the reality shows with Dean. I think we all feel connected to this and I feel so bad for everyone involved. I really wish the best for everyone especially the precious kids. Before I got married I was engaged to someone that was a serial cheater and like Tori I blamed myself. I thought there was something wrong with me because he cheated. The guy put me through such a rough time and looking back, the best thing I ever did was to end the relationship. I feel for both Tori & Dean and I don’t excuse Dean’s behavior. I know that everything will be OK somehow, it may be a tough road ahead but I hope Tori finds the strength to forge ahead. Listen to “Three Birds” by Bob Marley…..

  • Sunlion

    I think most women whose husbands have cheated know how you feel, I certainly do. My heart was breaking for you because I remember the feelings of unworthiness and self-blame, too.

    We did not have children, so my animals saved me with their unconditional love and by simply making me get up every day and keep going. Eight years later I am in a loving relationship with a man whose integrity is beyond question. His love healed me. Whatever way you go with your own marriage I wish you the best of luck.

  • Ann

    This is a chance for you to dig deep and look at your own patterns. Why were you attracted to a person with these issues in the first place? Subconsciously you knew there was chaos involved-the 2 of you are not people possessing inner peace, right?

    I always go back to Oprahs line “when people show you who they are, believe them the first time” Dean showed you who he was the first night you met – his impulses, his values, his self control. And you showed him yours. Now you act completely surprised. The road to self discovery is long and painful, but you will find inner peace at the end, a more whole person, less impulsive person afterward, who takes responsibility for what her life looks like.

    Dean did not look like a person who needed to be put on television right now, I feel bad for him, I think you and your kids need privacy at this time.

    A time for spiritual growth and self responsibility and healing.

    I think some sessions with Iyanla Vanzant are the type of help you need.

    God bless your family –

  • wes

    Tori,
    My heart goes out to you. Please remember to take care of yourself in this time on unbelievable stress. Remember, you will make it through this. Wes

  • Victoria

    Personally what did you think Tori I mean Dean cheated on his former wife to be with you. Just saying, once a cheater always a cheater in my eyes.

  • Snowgirl

    I was so looking forward to new Tori and Dean shows but not in this form! Just another clear reason to believe that beneath it all you are just like us! From woman to woman I support you! I hurt with you! Let the haters hate! Somehow you must rise above it all! No judgement here! We can’t take the pain from you but we can help carry it with you! The world wasn’t meant to be without hurt because if it was it would be called Heaven! I’m so sorry to have to watch your pain as I have enjoyed being able to watch your joy over the years! Many of us have walked this painful path and as you continues he traveling it you will learn more and become a better and stronger self for it! I for one, love you as a friend just like me that has been hurt! Just take another breath, and another step dear Tori! Love is the reason you are hurting right now but love is the very thing that will save you! Prayers for all six of you for the days ahead! Believe in yourself and only listen to yourself and what your heart tells you! XOXOX

  • Cat

    Tori, I really feel for you because you have such a beautiful family, and being cheated on is possibly one of the worst traumas for a person. I remember watching the Dr. Phil show and he showed a couple who decided to stay together, and he said the ONLY way it would work out was if the man was an open book. From what I know so far, Dean seems to have opened up and told you details of the affair which, as hard as they are to hear, must be heard. And now he will have to let you know of his future whereabouts, and if you ask him a question he cannot be angry with you if he thinks you’re being jealous or nosy. And a man who cheats definitely needs therapy because he has an underlying sense of insecurity and selfishness (to put it mildly). Now something very important, delicate and hard to talk about is this: You must know whether or not he used a condom. And he should actually be tested for V.D.’s and the whole gamut of stuff before you sleep with him again. Because you are now sleeping with the germs of this woman’s vagina and all the men she’s been with, and all the women those men have been with… Sorry, but it’s got to be said.

  • B.J.

    I know this is was the hardest thing for you to do. I applaud you for being brave and letting us in and taking control and saying this is what is really going on. Because even though everyone wants to say “Tori shouldn’t do this” or “what is she thinking”. You are taking control instead of letting gossip magazines run what stories they can think of. You’re in my prayers. You are so brave again. Please find time to take care of yourself. Because I noticed you look a little thin. I just don’t want you to forget to take care of you as well as your 4 beautiful kids.

  • Sympathetic Mom of 3

    In life there’s no manual in raising children. When you think you’re protecting them from ‘adult situations’ such as cheating, there’s no right wrong way to deal w/ parenting. The children obviously know something is going on in the absance of their father. Most therapist will say to tell your kids on a level of which they can understand what’s going on. They see Tori upset & not only can they vibe on it but they feel the reprocussions as well. Tori is showing great strength in making her private hell clear for others to know the truth from her perspective not from outside sources trying to make money. If there’s any money to be made from all of this it should at least go to her family!

    It’s easy to sit in judgment when you have no idea what it’s like to walk in Tori’s shoes. Just because she’s a Spelling doesn’t mean she’s incapable of feeling human emotions. She’s doing the best she can trying to take care of four children the best way she knows how. She made a difficult decission to share her story as it really is as opposed to letting others write their interpretation of it. That in itself takes great courage & strength! Her children will grow up to see that their mother took a horrible situation & did what needed to be done for her family.

    She’s showing that although people stereo type her as this rich oppertunist exploiting her kids, she’s supporting her family all the while helping others who may go through this situation too. It courageous to take care of 4 kids while going through your own personal hell & sharing it with the world. The kids will learn that their parents are only human, make mistakes & work to try to keep their family together. It’s been proven time and time again that the media does not respect their privacy so why not set the record straight to eliminate phase aligations that truly will hurt the children?

    It’s easy to live a ‘normal’ life and say what you would or wouldn’t do but you don’t live in the limelight or media bubble she & her family do. Instead of nasty judgmental comments why not try to show a little sympathy for her situation? She’s one woman with a broken heart & mixed emotions trying to find her way all the while raising & molding small children. Instead of criticizing her you should pray for her & her family!

  • Lesley Jamont

    Hi, I am sorry for what you are going through. I was really impressed by the first episode and I feel for you. I hope you will find your voice and open up. You should not forget yourself and what you are feeling and thinking. Take the time please. I understand that your husband has been going through things his whole life, but he needs more time to work on that and you need more time to figure out what YOU want. Please rely on your good friends in this time and make sure you and the kids are number 1. Children these days know a lot more than people think and when they are in school they will get confronted by other children. I believe it is a good thing that you are telling your story instead of people believing all the tabloids. Be strong

  • sbarzin

    I just want to give you a huge, ginormous hug. Seriously, seeing you cry made my heart hurt. =(

  • wesel

    I loved it, stay strong Tori!I actually cried it was so real and raw.
    Hope everything works out! Love from Norway

  • Linny

    I am sorry for what you are going thru but my mom always told me is how you get in a relationship is how you will get out. I wish your family the best.

  • Steph

    When does the show air in the UK?

  • lisa

    I understand the pain you are experiencing. I chose to stay in my marriage but it has been a long, rocky road. I will never forget what he did to me but my husband is a wonderful person that made a huge mistake. Time is the only thing that will ease some of the pain. Stay strong!!

    • Hope

      As a spouse who screwed up, I must say thank you for hanging in there and still seeing the good in yours. That is an amazing testament to you and your heart. I’m eternally grateful that I am still loved by my awesome husband! The worst punishment for me is knowing how badly he hurt (in my temporary insanity, I honestly thought he didn’t care). We both made mistakes, but he didn’t deserve what I did. And I was a woman who said I’d never ever cheat nor accept cheating.

      • lisa

        Thank you. So many people thought I was crazy for staying with him and it made me feel like a very weak person, so its nice to hear otherwise.

  • Kitkat

    It broke my heart Tori..I have always been a true fan of yours since the 90210 days..I loved seeing how much you love and adore your family you have made with Dean..never would I have thought he would hurt you so badly like this..I wish I could have reached out and given you a big hug through the TV.. I live right near Collingwood , where Dean is from, and always hoped I could meet you one day. I think you are being very brave and dealing with it well so far..It’s a horrible feeling when someone you love and trust, cheats on you..I know I’ve been in that situation.. Just remember how strong you are, and your little ones need you there to reassure them that you will never leave them..After reading all your books I feel like I know you a little bit

  • Hope

    Follow your heart but don’t forget your brain! :) K, imagine this is coming from your bff or sister & that my tone is cheerful b/c I’m not criticizing you at all. You’re adorable and deserve happiness! I’d pick just one work project and spend the rest of the time with my loved ones. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for some help with your children – use family, friends, and/or a nanny for those busy times of the day. You don’t have to prove anything; your kids are more important than what cyberspace strangers think. Yeh, I know this is your brand, but this is an exceptional time. 4 small children is too much for one person all day and night long; you’re going to get sick & the babies will suffer in ways we cannot see. The iPad didn’t matter? Well, neither will the money paid for a good nanny by your side (that doesn’t mean free time for Mommy! Except DO carve out a little me time.You HAVE to take care of yourself for their sakes:)…I messed up but got a 2nd chance. We’ve had to work and it hasn’t been easy but we’re stronger than ever now (I had lost my ever-lovin’ mind. It nearly cost me everything!) One major thing we did: he has all access to everything I do & if I go anywhere, I invite him to go with me. It’s helped him trust me again. I am so grateful!! One thing I’m seeing that just looks bad – WHY is Dean getting to go be in a “safe place”? That is the ultimate cop-out! So lame & predictable Hollywood BS. His butt should be at home kissing yours 24/7!! A therapist can come to the house and treat him. And if his apology means jack, he won’t be drinking. No alcohol or no Tori. And no more chances. Now that I’ve ripped him, he does need the love from all 5 of you and those kids need him (even if he’s not perfect and in the doghouse right now). That’s my solicited advice. You did ask, right? LOL! Take care, Tori! We love you! All will be well. Remember how fortunate you are but don’t deny your family the resources available. Some of us are barely hanging on by a thread (financially) and are overcoming major life hurdles. Y’all will be fine. Don’t forget: heart AND head. (I have to say: your children are just precious!!! Oh my word, just darling little angels!!! This time will go by in a blink. Don’t despair, chile’!:)

  • Raquel Lopez Gonzalez

    Una Historia de Amor como la vuestra, no la puede estropear nadie. Adelante esto te hará más fuerte, recuerda la segunda boda, el picnic con el regalo de bodas.

    A Love Story as yours, you can not spoil anyone. Forward this will make you stronger, remember the second marriage, the picnic wedding gift.

  • megryan1969

    Betrayal

    What I know now today, April 23, 2014 is you never heal from betrayal of trust. Only Jesus was able to do so and I don’t think it’s in human nature to ever let the feeling of betrayal go. I believe you can forgive someone for it but you can never completely forget it or the pain of it will ever be gone. I know God calls us to forgive and I have no problem doing that. But it’s almost like asking someone to forget something they really took completely serious with someone and they just broke it by one act. In my case it was more then one time. All I know is even though I married someone at 18 that I knew he was not capable of loving me the way I needed but I never imagined he would betray me. I knew he might cause me pain in the lack of love he couldn’t give me but I never imagined he would go to someone else for something he couldn’t give me, his wife. And then it happened in 2001 and I let him by with it. I took all that pain and pushed it inward and dealt with it on my own, away from all my family and only told one person, my sister. At the time I had 2 children to care for, was moving overseas and my whole world as I knew it to be was pulled out from under me. Yes he betrayed me, although he said it was not physical betrayal he told me it was emotional. My mind could not comprehend how the man I married that could not give me the type of love I needed could do so with a stranger. I had invested my whole life with him and having 2 kids with him, I did whatever his career dictated. I moved home to home never complaining. I was a good wife and mother. I took my role seriously and thought he did his. The the day came when I found the stupid high school like note from a lady named Rene who he had just went to training with before we were to move to Germany. I sensed something was wrong when he returned 2 weeks before we were to move and while he was in the shower found the note that said if you like me check yes or no. A normal person would have confronted him after finding that, I stuck it down inside me only to learn from his lips later that night as he sit crying in our car that he never felt this way for someone once he told me he met someone. I actually tried to reassure him instead of him reassuring me. Again being there as I always had been for him through all his personal problems. I carried his loads and asked others to overlook his behavior at times. Even at my kids expense when he would abuse them. I let myself go through the whole thing that there must be something wrong with me, that I deserved this. He made me feel so low and so below him. The things he said, the things he did or didn’t do. I completely was broken because of him and how he treated me. I didn’t feel worthy of being treated better and I wanted to see if he could change and see I was worthy of that love. I thought maybe if I stayed he would see I was strong and that I loved him. I was so wrong. I lived years of misery because of not leaving this man. My children suffered. I suffered and nothing ever good came from it. But I didn’t leave, I stayed in something I had no idea how to get out of. I stayed because I didn’t see another way. I just figured I would live the rest of my life with this deep down inside pain that I wouldn’t let anyone see and put on a happy smile for the world to see. In doing that I only injured myself and my kids more. But at the time I did not see another way.

    Then in 2007 he did it again and this time came to me and told me he had a women in his room while on a trip but didn’t have sex with her. He was pushing my weak buttons wanting me to leave. Instead I ended up in a doctors office in a panic attack and had to seek professional help. But I still stayed! He would talk riddles to me, he kinda wanted out but then said he didn’t. He told me he lived in a velvet lined cage with me and the kids. He told me he married me out of obligation because we had sex prior to marriage and felt he had to marry me. At that point I begin to tell family what was happening and my therapist. I was getting stronger but not strong enough to leave him because I was afraid of him. I was afraid of being a single mom. I was afraid of accepting defeat that in something I put my all into had failed because of his behavior. I wanted him to be able to change but it was clear he couldn’t. I simply lost trust in not only him but everyone. When I heard he would be gone overseas by himself for one year I figured that was my time to either get strong and face this challenge I had to leave him and I took it. I spoke with a lawyer. I look at houses. I prepared our kids that were begging me to leave him and was looking forward to my future. It would be better. I felt it. I spoke with my pastor and he told me I had reason to leave, I had biblical reason to leave and also that he was not a believer and I was not equally yoked. I was so empowered. When he returned after that year I was ready to pull the trigger and leave him and then he got orders and begged me to move with him to Colorado and give him another chance to get help. Now he wanted help, what was I to do? Would he really get help, would he really learn to love me, would he really change? Well of course I knew he probably couldn’t but what type of Christian would I be to turn him down if he really could and save our marriage and family? So I gave in and broke my kids hearts because they were so tired of the life with him. I lost the trust in them and in my friends and family that knew all that had happened at this point and knew he wasn’t capable of changing. But me, the person that was always there for him gave in and gave him his chance. I moved to Colorado only to know a few short months after getting there what a mistake I had made. He didn’t change, he got worse. Then the event that broke this girls back happened, he punched me in my back. And that’s when I knew I couldn’t trust him or live with him anymore. Once I made the decision and was following through with it he tried so hard, said all the things I wanted to hear but they were just words. In his desperation for whatever it was he was wanting he said everything I wanted to hear. I knew it was words. I knew all those words were void. And I had to face the fact that someone that betrays you once will do it over and over again if you let them continue to.

    I divorced him. I have a great life now living around family and friends. My kids are happier, we are healthier without him. We no longer have to guess what will set him off and make us all walk on egg shells. My biggest obstacle now that I face is trying to like him as a father to my children. I know he has betrayed them as he did me and I know I don’t trust him. I really don’t like him and I guess if hindsight was 20/20 knowing what I know now about him I would have never allowed myself to stay as long as I did.

    The problem I face now is not forgiving him, that is easy but ever trusting him in any part of my life again. Whether that be our kids or just having him around in my life with them. He is the meanest, rudest man I have ever met in my life. He can say things that are so hurtful and turn it back on you that you deserved it. He doesn’t think I should have anymore anger toward him for his betrayal to our marriage and family. But I am angry. It does hurt. I’m not Jesus, I’m human. The load he put on my was too much and not something I think I can ever stop hurting over. When I married him, I never imagined it would turn out this way. I never thought he would treat me the way he did. I never thought he would say the things he has said to me and about me. After all I carried his load for so long giving him the benefit of the doubt for his behavior and how he treated us for so long. I asked others to excuse his behavior to not cause problems.

    I was an abused women married to a very mean man. He hurt me deeply and to this day I still hurt. I’m still angry and I don’t trust. I don’t know if it’s something other then Jesus coming to heal me from this pain that I can do on my own. I don’t think that healing will happen on this earth. I believe it’s almost like the healing Jesus got on the cross when he rose again with his scars and knew he was saved and alive forever, renewed. I can’t wait to be renewed of that pain. Some people die of diseases and are healed in death. I truly believe I will not be healed of this huge scar until my day comes of this earthly healing.

    I hate the feeling of this that I live with on a daily basis. I ask God to remove it from me but I think maybe it’s the scars we have to bare here on earth to really appreciate our heavenly healing one day. And I accept that. But I do expect the person that betrayed me to understand the best he can that he did cause me great pain and it’s not something I can just let go of. It’s real, it hurts, it always did and although I forgive him, I just wish he could respect that and not be angry at me because I can’t let it go here on earth. And saying that, since he’s not a believer, I guess that might be asking the impossible of him. And that to me makes me see that betrayal of anything is long living, it’s not forgotten and although its forgivable here on earth, it never truly goes away here. It’s a daily pain that has to be cared for daily and understood. And though I won’t let it define me anymore, I will be easier on myself for living through it and knowing that my day of healing this pain will one day come and I will be complete. In Jesus with Jesus that totally understands my pain. No, I didn’t deserve those scars just like Jesus didn’t deserve his. But because of His scars I know that one day mine will be healed once and for all and all I can do now is live the life I know is His way, love people, treat them well and forgive those that are not capable of loving themselves.

    I do not dream of another man because I feel like this betrayal on this earth has ruined me at looking at men. And that’s fine because I know God will use my experiences to help others going through the same pain. I know that I’m not defined by a man’s love. The only love I have to worry about it God’s love for me and the love I give to others. I’m not sure what roads God will lead me on to fulfill my life’s purpose here but I will do whatever it is. In my nature I’m a caregiver, I love to help others. I so wanted to heal the man I was married to but it was out of my reach to help him. And that bothers me, I worry about his soul because I know he is my children’s father. But I know now it was never my job to heal him, but he was a lesson I had to learn. So now I will help only those that accept my help. There are so many people that need a loving person in their lives to pull them up and show them God’s love. And that makes my life worth living now. Seeing my kids love and live and know that trust is something you never risk losing with anyone, they will learn from my experiences and become better people for it. That keeps me going! And I will cont. to pray for our children to be healed of all they saw that was so wrong and choose to live a different life and always be trustworthy to anyone they choose to be their life partner.

    • megryan1969

      I had to journal this after watching the show last night, it brought up raw emotions in me. Ones I thought I had overcome somewhat. I hope it helps Tori, betrayal is the ultimate pain anyone can face mentally and it causes physical problems too. Since my divorce I have acquired Addison’s disease. Basically I was in flight and flight all the time with my emotions and how I handled things that I burnt my adrenal glands up, they produce cortisol that is a hormone that gives you that adrenaline rush to get through things. It was too much, and it made me sick. I’m so sorry for your pain but I’m proud of you for speaking up, working on it now rather then sweeping it under the rug. You possibly have a chance since you have a man willing to seek help and knows he hurt you. But I say you have to listen to your gut, heart and head and put them all together to get through this and take care of you. Let your emotions out! Now is the time for them to come out. I’m praying for you and your family, I want nothing more then you both to get past this and be stronger in it.

    • Petal

      My dear Meg Ryan,

      I am posting just for you. There’s a lot I could say but what I want to say is hold on. I pray for more healing for you, and greater, deeper, and stronger healing. A gospel song tells us that “the hills of Zion yields a thousand sacred sweets before we reach the heavenly fields or walk the golden streets”. So I pray for a thousand sacred sweets on earth for you. I hope you won’t have to bear your burden much longer. What you need is a miraculous healing, like the wind. As Jesus said the wind blows but we cannot tell where it comes from. May God have mercy on us! We need His healing. I would love to meet you in heaven. May God bless you!

  • Joyce

    Tori I have to say seeing your strength was inspiring… I admire the fact that you want to keep your beautiful children protected from the public.. this is a very emotional time for you… But I do have to say; I hope you give Dean a chance to start over..I could see the love you both have for each other..my heart goes out to you… a long time fan from back then….

  • Meg

    Tori – I’m praying for you and your family. You are so strong – I don’t know how you keep it together. I’m a mom like you and it’s exhausting. Hang in there – you are doing great. Our society teaches us that revenge is best and that we need to punish people that have hurt us. But marriage is about forgiveness and putting other people’s needs in front of our own. I say stay with Dean and try to work it out – at least until the kids are grown. Tori – I know you are going to think I’m a religious nut – I promise you – I’m more similar to you than you think – but you guys desperately need Christ in your lives. My husband and I would never have made it one year without our faith. I know all too well that marriage is not easy – but at the end of the day it’s not about being happy 100% of the time – it’s about having someone (as you said) to grow old with. I am rooting for you and your beautiful family – even Dean. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time. If you keep doing “the next right thing” eventually it will add up to peace in your life. Sending you love & hugs! Xoxo

  • Dorothy

    Tori,

    My heart breaks for you. If you read any of these posts, please be selective and disregard the “mean girl” comments. NOBODY deserves to be cheated on, ever! Nothing you have done or said justified his actions.

    Take the time to digest that this has happened, and why, and then you can decide if you want to rebuild your marriage. I can tell you from experience that it can be done, and the marriage that emerges from the ashes can be better and stronger, and more fulfilling than ever.

    God bless you, Dean, and those precious babies.

  • Fabiano Ronzoni Chiminelli

    Please Brasil Chanel ?????? Qual o canal que passa por favor . ????

  • Stina Nebelong

    Hi Tori <3

    U are one strong woman T, stronger than U probably think at the moment!! Don't be ashamed of your emotions and its okay to get mad when someone, who you love, betrays you like D did….

    I think you do the best job ever of raising your 4 little sunshines!! Don't ever doubt that!!

    I just want to put it out there (again)

    I would love to help you in any way I can… I am from Denmark, I am finally following my dream of going to LA (been there numerous times) and going to school. I was in a car accident almost 9 yrs ago, have a whiplash, and not able to work ever since… Prior to that I worked all the time, 300 hours a month sometimes, and now, I am finally getting better! I am currently in a marriage, not ready to decide what to do with it yet.. Been married for a little over 7 yrs. now.

    I don't have my own kids, but have been blessed with being a step mom for 9 yrs for my husbands kids. I take care of them, alone every other weekend and vacations, right now, cause he is working at Thule Airbase in Greenland, and have been for the last almost 2 yrs. (on and off with brakes) So I think its been tough to make the decision to make the move… But this has been my dream since I was a little girl…

    I have 5 cats and I really wish I can bring them… I just need to find the perfect home for them and myself! can't wait!! :-)

    So I am extending my offer to help you out while I am in LA… I know I can't do this as a job, since I do have my whiplash, to take care of too, but I would love to help you out in what ever way, I possible can!

    I would want you to get to know me first of corse! But one thing is for sure!! I am not offering this to get ANYTHING out of it!! 1000 % sure!

    Contact me, listen to your self! I am no scam!! <3

    I am thinking about going to this seminar in Dallas may 16-18 called : "The science of getting rich", by Wallace D. Wattles. And of corse I am thinking about "swinging by" LA after… Maybe we should drink a cup of the/latte/ together ??
    Give me a shout out if you don't think its too weird ;-)

    Hugs and love for you and your wonderful family!

    Stina from Denmark

  • mommaofangels

    You have to listen to your heart but to your head at the same time for your kids sake. I have been in a situation similar except for I’m the one who cheated. I got pregnant by the first man I fell in love and slept with at the age of 17 got married 2 months after our son was born. In 2004 we gave birth to a healthy baby girl decided that we really didn’t need more babies went on birth control and still got pregnant and in early 2006 at 22 weeks my water broke I gave birth to our son at 23 weeks 4 days nothing they could do. We made it through wobbly though had another healthy baby girl late 2007. In 2009 it happened again I was pregnant and my water broke at 18 weeks again I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who couldn’t survive due to prematurity. In that same year my world turned upside down I was fighting with my husband all the time I was battling depression and other family issues. I had this good guy friend at the time. One morning I got into a huge fight with my hubs then fired 40 minutes later. I went to my friends to use his Internet to put in apps and next thing I knew I had screwed up. I slept with another man. It was a one time huge mistake. My next mistake was keeping it a secret. I finally broke down and told my husband. I thought it would tear us apart and it about did. But instead we are closer than ever fixing to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows. There is hope in every situation don’t loose faith.

  • Louise

    Amongst all the false rumors going around, this is their way of getting their truth out to us. This makes them REAL! I applaud them for that! So many of us can completely relate to what they are going through and I hope they’ll be able to heal and get through this ! What doesn’t break you makes you stronger! I believe that!

  • Mary B.

    OK not gonna lie, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. No matter what, you need to keep it together for your babies. Eventually the hurt will diminish and you will be able to function without it being foremost on your mind. Look at some of those who have gone before you–Hilary Clinton, Kathy Lee Gifford,….they are an example that you can put this behind you. Good luck! If you love the guy, swallow your pride and forgive him. Men are idiots.

  • Katie

    Regardless of how you heal it is important that you do for the sake of your children. As for your marriage. ….thats up to you but you need to do what is best for you and your children. Only you know what that is.

  • shay

    Keep strong darlin. I know its hard and you have to trust your insticts and follow your heart. Do the best for you and your kids. Your doing very well with what the lord is giving you. Just remember I comes before U even in the dictionary so put yourself first then everyone else. You and yours are in my thoughts Tori!!

  • anonymous

    I sat and cried…I too did this to my family 18 yrs ago. There is hope. My husband and family forgave me, it took time to heal, regain trust, and repair what I took away for a brief moment of fun. We have been together since I was 14. 29 yrs and still going strong. We have been married for 22 yrs. Do what is best for your family and children, we all make mistakes. It took time for me to prove I wanted to make things right for our family and children. At the time we only had 2 children. Now we have 4 gifts from God. I will continue to pray for your family. Much love to you all!

  • Teri Boudreau

    i think you did the right thing by voicing your feelings and telling the truth as to what is going on in your life….it must be awful to have people so call telling your story only to have it wrong……living life in a fishbowl so to speak has got to be terrible esp for your kids….. i think your a very strong woman and will make the best decisions regarding you and your children….. i wish you luck and lots of love:):):):):)

  • MamaBird

    Reading all these comments I see very few that are actually helping! Most of you are sarcastic and judgmental. You obviously care about what’s happening or you wouldn’t watch or comment.

    Tori I really feel for you and every mom in the world has had to solo it for one reason or another. Mornings are rough for every mom and I’m so sure you miss Dean as your other half. It takes a team effort to raise children. You didn’t get pregnant by yourself so who expects you to raise them by yourself. Certainly not me. I’m hoping you are getting lots of support and extra help right now. Mehran, Mom, Guncles, etc. ASK for HELP! No one expects you to be perfect super mom. ASK FOR HELP!!!! As far as getting through all of this, forgiveness is a hard thing. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it is so you can have peace. We can forgive and never forget. By forgiving it doesn’t mean that you will trust Dean again. It means that you are letting go of the pain and hurt so YOU can be happy. Without forgiveness, we let those that hurt us hold us hostage. Dean will have to earn your trust again. That may take a long time, but it is possible. I wish you all the best in this and I will be watching your journey as well as praying for your family. I know personally how hard it is for kids when one parent is absent. ((((HUGS))))

  • Jennifer Senesac

    You do what you think is right for you and your family!! I know I am trying and regardless you are going to be talk of the town cause you are who you are and you can not change that!! I love ya and wish the best for you and your family!! I think you are a great person and a wonderful mom!! I read some books to try and help my relationship they were by Gary Chapman and maybe it will help you too!! Good Luck in what ever you decide for your family!! No matter what I love ya!!

  • Amanda

    A friend of mine was cheated on for years from the beginning of their relationship. 10 years in and 2 kids later they are one of the strongest couples I know. When I found out her backround and and then witnessed it myself I would tell her she is stupid for staying. If my husband ever cheated on me I couldn’t stay. The only the she would tell me is that her love for him could get her through it. And it was something wrong with him. Not her. She vowed for sickness and health and this is his sickness. I never looked at it that way. Eventually they got through it and came out even stronger. She is still tells me she has trust issues sometimes but it takes one second to break trust and a lifetime to get it all back. You just need to figure out if this betrayal is something you can live with. Is your love stronger then this betrayal. If the answer is yes. Then stay and work it out. It will take a long time but you will get through it.

  • Donna

    I am so sorry you are going through this Tori. I cried watching your episode as it was emotional for me that you are experiencing all of that. I can’t believe Dean did that and I hope you guys can work through it somehow for the kids sake. I know he was married before and I wondered if he had cheated before. Sometimes cheaters cheat again. But I know Dean is a good guy and I didn’t know he was dealing with alcoholism and addiction as well. Many prayers for you and your family.

  • Brooke

    I have been in your shoes. The moment you talked about having to act like everything was awesome at the play but you were dying inside…I’ve been there. I felt like I was reliving every emotion with you from when I went through it. I sit down sometimes and think, what if….what if I had moved out for a while, what if I had not answered all his calls and texts about how horrible he felt and how he wanted our family and to never lose us. I took a gamble and I stayed with him. He was/is my best friend and the thought of never having him in my life hurt just as bad as what had happened. For us, it made us stronger and we are closer than ever, but it is each persons decision and we have to live with it. Some people it doesn’t work and some it does. I do know that you will never forget….I can’t even say you’ll ever truly forgive but as time goes on, one day you will realize you hadn’t thought about “it” in 6 months and you realize it will get easier with time but it will never truly go away and that is something you have to live with when you decide to stay.

  • The Good News

    I’m trying to watch the episode online but it keeps freezing. From what I do know… I know that you were the person he left his former spouse for which I would imagine has had to be hard for you. I would think in the back of your mind that you were probably worried this might happen one day. Dean only showed you who he is; that is not to say that he cannot change. Even if he changes … can you forgive him? I know you cannot physically forget… but CAN YOU FORGIVE HIM? Will you ever trust him again? Only you can answer those questions and only you have to live that life. I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do it in the public… people aren’t judging you. I think they would see you as the victim if anything and give you nothing but respect. He is the one who should be filming his recovery if anything — it should be Dean finding out who Dean is… There’s nothing you can do to make him a better man. It’s all something that is inside him. Does Dean believe in God? I think Fight Club would be something Dean could get involved in. It’s something my church started for Men to fight for their families — and it has spread across the United States. There are several churches in California that have Fight Club Charters: Here are some of the names
    Community Grace Brethren Church, Long Beach CA
    La Loma Grace Brethren Church, Modesto CA
    USMC Camp Pendleton, Oceanside CA
    Ripon Grace Brethren Church, Ripon CA

    I think you should encourage him to look into it … it’s free..and would be time well spent for him (not to mention you and the kids).
    I wish you nothing but the best! I pray you all get through this– the kids need their Dad with them in their lives — I hope you two can work things out! With God, ANYTHING is possible!

  • Charlie

    C U Next Tuesday!

  • Molly

    Those kids are lucky enough to have you as a mom. I am not a mom myself but you are such an amazing one. You are doing your best. Just never forget about yourself and don’t forget to love yourself. Do what’s right for you and keep up the amazing work mommy. It all happens for a reason. You are truly an amazing role model and I hope I’m half as good a mom someday as you are. Xoxo

  • Brandy Davis

    I don’t think children should be exposed to their parents difficulties within a marriage, ever. Maybe you’d share something like this with them as adults, when they can understand a marriage goes through ups and downs.. However, children get their security from feeling that Mom and Dad are perfect.. They’re always safe with their hero like parents! You’re removing their security blanket by revealing that Dad isn’t like Spider-Man.. You cannot allow them to know dad stepped out on mom.. They will always blame themselves.. Always! No exceptions.. You can tell them it’s not their fault, they won’t believe you.. They will still tell themselves, if we behaved better.. If we didn’t ask for so much, if we could help out more.. Then maybe he wouldn’t have done that.

    You wrote an open letter to Star on your site for reporting, falsely, that you and Dean were divorcing.. You were so upset that Liam saw it in a mag in the grocery store.. Is it going to be less painful if it’s true, Tori? Do you think you can convince your kids that things are perfect. — you can lie to them? Kids feel everything their parents struggle with. Dean is horrible for doing this to his children for a second time! A second time! He’s selfish! He is wreaking havoc on his family, again! A man who can’t put his children’s emotional well being first, isn’t a man worth having! Nothing in the world – outside of the marriage – is worth the pain your husband is causing his family. The kids don’t deserve this Tori, even if you think he’s the best you can do.. The kids deserve a father who thinks about their best interest before he making these poor decisions.

  • Jenna Salamon

    Praying for strength for you and your family during this difficult time. Look to God, he has a plan. Sending love your way.

  • p5dogs

    Tori, I like you, your shows, your beautiful children, and even hunky- bum -cheating husband. However, you really know how to stir the pot. You seek the attention. Maybe stay home for a while? As a mother of three myself, children are happiest when they are at home and being paid attention to by mommy. Ditch the hectic lifestyle and high drama. Yes, you are a drama mama. I really think you bring a lot of what you are getting on yourself. :(

  • Carol

    First I would like to say good for you!! This is your life and no one knows what you are feeling but you!! Life isn’t fair and people will always tell you what to think or do good or bad!! It is up to you to find yourself and your feelings about who you are and what you want!! You need to find yourself and respect yourself and then you will trust yourself and your feelings!! When life sends us into the eye of a hurricane no one can tell you what you are feeling or how to feel trust yourself and listen to yourself!! I would say to you look into therapy so that you can explore you and how you feel!!! It doesn’t matter what anyone says it How you feel about yourself!! I have made alot of mistakes but the one thing that holds true is no matter what I can own them without any regrets!! No one has the power to take me down to a dark place cause how the feel about me I Know I am true to myself and I wish that for you!!!

  • Jill Duska

    I just want to say that I have actually been there, done that. My ex-husband cheated on me and I stayed with him for years after that, trying to make it work. I could never really trust him again after that, though. His infidelity wasn’t what ultimately ended our marriage, but it dealt it a massive blow. And the worst part for me was that he hadn’t just cheated; he had “feelings” for the other woman. It was heartbreaking!

    I have nothing but respect for Tori for putting something so personal out there in the public eye. Maybe it will help someone else going through the same thing because sadly, there is no shortage of cheating spouses in this world. Maybe this is what Tori needs to get some closure herself.

  • Karen Folk Shelton

    Hi Tori, I see everyone has lots to say about your program True Tori.. First and foremost I thought you did an excellent job getting the true facts out there.. I think you should follow your heart and do what is best for you and your children.. This is going to be a very difficult road for you but no doubt you will get thru this.. I also agree that it is to soon for Dean to come home.. As you said it has been 4 months and you are just now starting to deal with this.. I think Dean needs to stay and continue to get the much needed help he needs.. I also think you should start with counceling for yoursef as well and then counceling together.. You have not dealt with any of your emotions till now.. I can diff. see the love between you both and call me crazy but I think you should try and work it out.. Understand that Dean will always be in your life rather you choose to stay with him or not.. You guys have 4 beautiful children together.. My Mom always told me, never ever stay with someone for your children.. Kids adjust and get thru things much easier than adults. Not saying it hasn’t effected them because I am sure it has.. You must be honest with them the best way you know how.. I will diff be tuning in next week for the 2nd half of your show.. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.. Stay strong, be positive and I know you will get thru this..

  • Shana

    I don’t care what anyone else thinks Tori I love the show and I think its well produced considering the nature of what’s going on. I’m so sad for you and the situation but I’m also rooting for you to make the right decision for yourself and your family. With that said I hope it works out with you and Dean because true love is still love and mistakes are mistakes. One can and should always outlast the other. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I’m glad you’re sharing the truth with the fans and I love seeing you on TV again regardless of the reasons why. Good luck to you and yours, stay strong. The world can judge you all they want but as long as you’re comfortable sharing this journey with them who cares what they think or feel it’s not their life.

  • Kendra Parfet Brayton

    Tori… My heart breaks for you and think you’re a very brave and strong woman to set the story straight in the public eye. It is always better for children to know the truth about something then lies especially lies that the media can put out there. For all the other people who think you’re doing the wrong thing, they don’t know what it would be like to have their entire life plastered all over the media because they haven’t experienced it and are jelaous of your fame.

  • Jenn

    Tori, opinions are like assholes; everybody has one. Don’t listen to all of this and just do you. I think you are incredibly strong and such a great mother to be doing that all by yourself! Stay strong!

  • Melissa

    I was late for work yesterday because I couldn’t stop watching! The whole time I just kept thinking “this could have been me.” My ex-fiancé cheated on me and we tried to work it out. Once I found out he was still seeing the other girl I completely broke it off. Three years later I met the most amazing man and married him a year ago. He’s definitely my soul mate. The time between when I broke up with my ex and when I met him was the absolute darkest part of my life but it’s made me appreciate what I have now so much. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through but trust me, it will get better and you’ll be a stronger woman and Mom because of it. Hugs.

  • Monica Hill

    Tori, yesterday evening was the first time I watched your show. I never read your books before or watched the previous shows, so this was my first introduction to your story. Ironically enough, while trying to read news I came up with a sensationalist tabloid story based on your new show. This made me aware of your new show so I looked for the trailer and wow, it was so genuine and honest.

    So yesterday, I placed my 2 year old to sleep and at 9:30pm, my husband and I sat on our sofa and watched your first episode together.

    I wanted to come here to thank you for what you are doing. Telling your truth to the world is a powerful and courageous act. We get to see a bit more through your show but we will never truly know the entire truth for we don’t live in your home or in your minds. For this reason, NO ONE can feel entitled to an opinion or tell you or Dean what to do. What we can do is send unconditional love and acceptance to you and your family as we have all experienced in some shape or form, pain in our lives.

    I can only speak for myself but please know there is a family in Kansas rooting for you and your family!

    My husband is 9 months sober from alcohol and life is so different from the chaos of 9 months ago. He found AA and I found Al-Anon. As it usually happens, the bottom was a series of punches that left us all in a state of chaos and despair.

    I really connected with your show as I watched you being super mommy, taking care of the family and the home. I also really connected about feeling numb and unable to process what was happening. It took months for me to stop living in survival mode, waking up with enough energy to work at my day job and be a good mommy for my son – I would finish the day thanking God that I made it through another day.

    One day, I started to feel again and very much like grief, it cames as stages – denial, anger, confusion, disappointment, and sadness. There is no fixing our emotions but if there is a shortcut to healing it is acceptance.

    Forgiveness is so hard when so many lies and false hopes were mentioned but it has become easier for me the more I study the disease of addiction. I remember that it is a genetic disease that fully develops when the person carries the family gene and experiences early trauma. Once progressed, addiction develops in slow fades, so subtle it is hard to recognize it until the “monster” fully develops. In my mind, it helps me to see addiction as the disease of Alzheimer’s – from the outside my loved one looks the same, but inside he has changed and I couldn’t recognize who he was anymore. He became the “monster”, this selfish being that goes to any lengths to get what he needs and has little to no concern towards his loved ones. He also has moments of clarity and in those moments he has a hard time looking in the mirror because the self-loathing is overwhelming. He hates who he has become but has no idea how to change.

    9 months ago and after a bottom, my husband joined AA. Three weeks later, I recognized I needed help too for I had no idea how to not be a fixer, how to take care of myself and how to deal with my own feelings. I was also incredibly lonely in my pain. I could use being in a space of unconditional love with a group of people who had similar experiences to mine.

    These decisions and the commitment to do whatever it takes to be the best people we could be for our son has changed our lives. Only nine months later, we are a family, better than ever before. There is much hope and joy. I feel fear too… and sadness… but at least I have feelings again. I talk about them with my group and my husband then let go and let God work his grace in me. I live now in the house of love, not in the house of fear anymore.

    Your story will help so many others. Your truth will shine truth to others. And the scars you carry will be the cracks in the jar with a candle inside… these scars will reveal the magnificent light you already carry inside.

    I’m rooting for you Tori, count me in every week as an audience, but most important, as a sister in this road towards serenity. Sending you much love and hope.

  • Brandy Davis

    No one praising you for this show cares one bit about your children, nor do they have children of their own and the ability to have compassion for the helpless in this situation. The kids! Those of us who are saying you should have lied to your children – told them it was a rumor like you did when they saw star mags report of a divorce.. Are telling you the truth! Your marriage problems, and the cash you will deposit is not more important than those children’s emotional well being. I’m sorry Tori, but I would respect you more if I were reading untruthful rumors and knew you always put those children first! Quite Frankly, your marriage is none of our business! And the people it will affect are too young, to innocent and too precious to be exposed to this type of crap. Ever! Why do you care what the public thinks? The only people that matter are in your home!

  • Wendy

    Didn’t you cheat with this man on his former wife and kids? And you are now surprised why? How about the hurt and pain of his former wife and kids? Go take your seat on the pain and heartache bus and shut up. Tori Karma, Karma Tori

    • Jenn

      It’s sort of like hearing her complain about the palarazzi while being filmed by a camera crew sitting inside her SUV, don’t you think?

      • Wendy

        Exactly!! I used to like Tori but she and that nut Leanne Rimes are delusional. They way you get him is the way you keeping (looking over your shoulders). I feel sorry for the kids but not these original home wreckers

  • Carrie Ann Greenberg

    Hey Tori, first off I think your amazing, and such a great mom, never doubt that!! I have watched you since I was a child, first seeing you in troop Beverly Hills!! Ever since I’ve been a fan and supporter! The first episode I was in tears the entire time, it was heartbreaking. I think it was so brave and wise to do the series to get your truth put there, because the tabloids get it so wrong. it takes such courage and strength to do this, ignore the haters!! your kids will now have the true story one day instead of all the awful tabloids they see everywhere, putting the truth out there, takes much more nerve then to Sit around and let people speculate on your life! I’ve been there with my ex husband, it was the hardest thing I ever went through, he was a jerk and I choose not to move forward with him but to end it, we had no children and were still young, so I insisted he leave and never come back. He fought me through everything, and it took 5 years to get a divorce but it was the best decision for me. I hope that because you and Dean still love one another and because of your four beautiful babies that you can work it out. My thoughts and prayers are with you Tori!! I know you are strong enough to do and get through anything! Btw my divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me4 years ago I met my soul mate and the love of my life! Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that!! Lots of love to you!!

  • Tasha Summers

    i think you should leave him and move on for your sake and your kids

  • Jennifer

    Tori, you are incredibly brave and courageous for sharing your story with us in such a public way. I know that is not easy for you to do. I’m so disappointed in all of the negative criticism out there regarding your choice to share your story and the heartbreak you are experiencing. I wish we could all learn to be kinder and more supportive of one another and respect eachother’s chosen paths towards healing. Everyone heals differently and there is not one right response after infidelity. You have to follow your heart and take time to reflect on what you want from your relationship. Dean has some issues he needs to overcome but he has a willing heart, a determination to change, and a deep love for his family. That is a good place to start. I have watched your shows for years and your love for one another has always been so clear. We can see that hasn’t changed. Rebuilding trust takes time and Dean will have to continue to be honest and transparent. It’s a long road but it CAN be done. I wish you both the absolute best in life and love. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I know it is helping more people than you ever thought possible. Much love to you, Tori! You have our full support!

  • Renee

    I am glad you are doing this show. I was cheated on also, but my then husband left instead of trying to work on things. I think you need to express how you feel. If you don’t eventually it will come out when you are with the kids. I learned that if I did not let it out I would take it out on my daughter and it did happen. You need to be completely honest with Dean and do not sweep it under the rug and don’t let him come home until you are okay with it, because the kids will see the tension between you guys. Stay strong for yourself and your children. I have always liked you and your story…

  • Grneyed83

    I wouldn’t have the guts to put myself and issues out there the way you did. It’s brave. I hope watching yourself struggle with these issues makes you realize just how strong you are. You really don’t give yourself credit. The whole morning routine, feeling like you’re trapped in a whirlwind with nothing going right, proves you can do it. You made it. The kids made it. Maybe a little late, but you did that ALL by yourself! You’ve got the greatest friends who appear to really have your best interests at heart.

  • Renee Jones-Imbrock

    I was in tears with you Tori. It was so heart breaking. Stay strong.

  • Heather Schoenke

    I’m so sorry my heart aches for you and yet I can sympathize on a few levels I can’t imagine the anguish of all of it but I get it and its raw but I’m proud of you for telling your story you are a strong amazing person and I hope one day I can have the honor of meeting you not because you are a celebrity but because there’s not many say amazing real and honest people with integrity that you come across and for that reason and die to I think you’re pretty awesome I would love to meet you!!

  • Dawn

    People can be so harsh and critical of others but until you lived it, you don’t have a clue. You can heal, you can get through this and you can trust again. I will pray for your strength and for your family! You are amazing and you are doing what any mother would do and I applaud your strength! We are not in the public eye…everything is very different and decisions have to be made accordingly! Its nt all black and white people! HUGS T’ori!

  • KC

    It’s horrible what Dean did to you. However, I can’t say I’m surprised, given that you both cheated on your spouses to begin your relationship. I truly believe once a cheater always a cheater. People don’t change, only circumstances do. I love you Tori, and love your beautiful kids. I don’t fault you for trying to get your story out or even make a few bucks in the process. However, I think the kids should be off camera. This is between you and Dean. The kids will be wrung thru enough by the paparazzi. My heart truly goes out to you and the kids.

    • Jenn

      Tori sees the kids as a paycheck first and foremost.

  • Teejay

    I went through this when I was 40 and it was totally devastating. My husband wanted to come back and I remembered what a nurse told me….be prepared to not be able to go back. She said this kind of betrayal is hard to shake and you won’t feel the same. She was right. As much as I wanted it for my boys, I couldn’t stomach him touching me again. It didn’t work. Make sure your decision is for you, not him or the kids. Remember, its better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Words of Dr. Phil!

  • Guest

    Its obvious Dean has some issues he needs to deal with, which also impact his family. Having grown up in a household of recovering parents, I know exactly what it feels like to see one thing and hear another. I think Tori has experienced that as well. Sure this is a private matter, but she is taking control. She is not allowing the magazines to write what they want. If the stories are going to be out there, why not let them be the truth and from the horses mouth? I commend her and wish I could give her a hug.

  • Jazgram

    Tori, probably you will likely never read this, I mean who am I, just some country grandma from British Columbia. I have never reached out to a celebrity before, but your story compelled me to write, I had two kids on my own by the time I was 20. Struggled most of their lives…financially, emotionally. As I look back now, I realize it was them, those two sweet little girls(who are now 39 and 35) that gave me strength, it was them who made me go on when I thought I could not. You are stronger than you know, no matter what happens in the end, you will never fall down because of the support systems you have. Including us, those strangers out there in TV land who support you…and NEVER read the tabloids, btw…..who cry with you when you cry, who are rooting for you and dean, who want you to succeed pleas, please think of us when you see those paparazzi.

    Your marriage, your family is worth fighting for, don’t apologize to anyone for it.

    Don’t you wish we could just fast forward through the bad stuff? I hate it when I’m going through something and people say this to me, but this bad stuff will pass. No matter what the outcome, you will get through this, and there will be happiness at the other end. I hope you and Dean make it through, and I wish you both all the best.

    (((BIG HUGS)))

    Mary T.

    • Cammy

      I love this comment. It’s so kind. Many are very critical. I have a feeling that Tori’s own childhood had many issues and problems – of having a workaholic Dad, a perfectionist mother… everything that happens in our childhood shapes us. I too, would hope they could patch up this marriage. But I wonder about Dean. On the show he tells Tori to hit him. That’s something someone who has had abuse, or has been abused in the past would say. I have a feeling that there was abuse of some kind in his family – be it food, or alcohol…it always has repercussions.

  • Jaime Knox

    I just want to say that Tori didn’t open this discussion up to debate her decision to do the show. This is a vulnerable time and she needs words of encouragement and wisdom, not condemnation. If you are a fan, you can still support her during this emotional time, whether or not you agree with her decision to do this show.

  • Sarah

    The only issue I have is with the kids. Seeing tabloids is one thing because Tori can always set her kids straight on the tabloid lies. However, watching a scene where the conversation is a private one between Tori and Dean should never been recorded for one day her kids to see. To watch those words come out of their parents mouths will be devastating to them down the road and open a new can of problems. The reality of it is, Tori and Dean only need to tell the truth to their family and close friends. The public does not matter in the end. I do feel sorry that this happened to them
    and I wish them well. I don’t think I will be watching anymore because I do feel that this should be kept private and the public never needs to know the this much. I wish you and Dean the best of luck and I hope you both are at peace with the decision you both make.

  • kermiefan

    Tori-I hope you can find a way rebuild your life and happiness. Surround yourself with the people in your life who are loyal, decent, dependable and good. Distance yourself from those who aren’t. Just because you work in Hollywood doesn’t mean you’re not a person with feelings. You can and will make it through this-and you DO deserve happiness. :)

  • Lindsay

    Sweet Tori. I have watched your tv reality life unfold since the very beginning and I have fallen in love with your whole family! After watching the episode I am more in love with all. You are such a wonderful Mother. What you are doing is so so so hard. The scene after Hattie threw up in the car made me want to just reach through the screen hug you and tell you how amazing you are!!! I am a Mom of 2 little ones and I know how incredibly crazy life can get! Especially in the morning!

    I wanted to share a little wisdom from my ups and downs of life (including an affair that resulted in my oldest child). My Husband with whom I have been with since I was 16 and I are STILL together and going STRONG after all of the betrayal, pain, and madness almost 5 years ago! My best advice is to find hope! If you can see even a glimmer of hope for your marriage, love and family then you are golden. Surround yourself with a support system and ALLOW them to take care of you. You do not have to be supermom all the time. Taking time to go for a drive to scream, cry and let your emotions out is critical! There is SO much more I could say….but the big picture is NOTHING is lost forever. Redemption, reconciliation and REAL healing and wholeness is available. I am living proof!!! I am praying for your beautiful family no matter what the outcome is! There is grace enough for you to get through this!!!

  • Tracy

    I’m not afraid to say it Nobody knows your life. You do what you need to do. Everyone has people talking about their lives. It’s you who knows, don’t worry about what other people say, this is your life, it is the ultimate mistake, but this is the children’s father, and all you haters, your not perfect, so support, don’t hate. This woman know she has to deal with this, and no one understands her life, same as you don’t know my life, she needs support, and people to stand by her and her choices.

  • Bernadette Koch

    I thought the episode was raw and real. I respected it in a lot of ways. 1 because this happens to every day regular people. I sometimes feel that as a celebrity you do kind of lose your privacy and that is part of the sacrifice of becoming a celebrity. But at the same time, she didn’t choose for this to happen to her family and to have to pull it all together, try and put on a happy face and have the world watch you when you feel like your world is crumbling anyway, that really sucks. No one wants to feel like a victim. No one wants the love of their life to cheat. Sure they’re celebrities, they have more wealth than most of us will ever know, but it doesn’t matter because everything is relative. Family and love are the two most important things, and material things don’t matter when something like this happens. I think its brave for her to put her side of the story out there. The story is out there whether she says anything or not. In a way it is no one’s business but if the story is out there it might as well be right. Yea it sucks that the kids could see this one day, although I don’t think they will be trying to find this stuff out by researching the web. Even if they did, the story is out there. Lets not forget Tori has been a celebrity since she was a kid, I think she is doing the best that she can. No one is perfect, and when you’re dealing with something in the moment, you just do the best you can.

  • Michelle Sample

    Hang in there, Tori!! It’s refreshing to see a celebrity being so honest and putting it all out there for the world to see so the tabloids can’t continue to make up stories. You have always come out on top, you are a strong woman and an awesome mom!!

    • Kathy Orange County

      Honest? Let Tori show her nannies and assistants. Who do you think had the kids while she was at a fabric store? Her mom, the guncles? COME ON!!! You must have a brain right?

  • Heather

    I am so proud of you for taking charge of your own story. Your kids have already been exposed to the media and the twisting or making up of stories. Children already feel everything in a home even if they cannot verbalize or understand what is going on. By addressing this head on, when they are older and see these episodes, they will realize how brave you were and what a gift you gave them with your honesty. Families are not perfect, and children have a better chance at forming healthy relationships when the unlovely and tough times do not become big secrets that fester. — I really felt empathy for your situation and am impressed by your support system.

  • Juris Prudence

    Although I felt sorry for her, you reap what you sow. She cheated on her husband, he cheated on his wife because they were in love….so why does she think he would be a changed man? She always said she feared he would cheat because he did with her so ta da….big shocker. As for Dean, you couldn’t help but notice how ( like always) he was playing to camera etc…and come on – its a reality show and we know they all do retakes, scripts, makeup etc – just ask the Kardashians right? Private pain is private pain unless you choose to make it UBER public for ratings ( hence the show). The kids are the ones who will suffer here – Tori has written books before – making a show about this is just wrong no matter how you try to justify it. AND they show him coming back to live in the house — because she needs help with the kids? Come on – Momma Spelling will certainly pay for a nanny….who are they kidding?

  • Tracy

    No matter what anyone else says, this is your life, your choice, you are the one at the end of the day that has to live with the choices that you make. Some may disagree with any choice you make. When I was faced with the same situation, and it was so painful I know, and to be honest, I still struggle, I made a choice to forgive my husband. We married each other and we created our beautiful children together. He is my best friend and life without him just is not an idea that seems right. Right now, people will judge you for anything you do or say that is not what they think they would do or say. But the reality, they are not in the same position that you are in. Some people seem to judge you for putting this out in the public, but the reality is, you didn’t ask for all of this to happen and you certainly didn’t ask for it to be public, trashy magazines and a woman that saw fame did that. I hid away from the world when it happened felt as if I had failed him in some way. Tried to think of what I needed to fix about myself. The reality, it was his demons that he had to fix. He had to fix not me. I know it’s so hard right now, and that you struggle daily, and as a Mom we do not get that chance to take a break from reality but I beg you take a break, you have great friends and family that can take care of the kids even if overnight or a weekend, take a break for YOU. I do not know what lies ahead, for myself, it was a long and challenging road. We have good days and we have bad days. But at the end of each day we know we have each other.

    • Jane Elton

      I am sorry but a “best friend” wouldn’t betray your trust and go behind your back for their own pleasure. If you are a team you are a team and if you aren’t it is time to find someone who knows right from wrong and how to conduct themself in a marriage.

  • Opinion Nated

    First of all I really like Tori and her family but come on! He has done this many times before, it can’t come as such a shock! She needs to let him go, I know it is hard but I think she would be better off. During the episode when Dean said ” can I give you a hug, I hate seeing you upset” (or something to that nature) I couldn’t help but think – if he hated seeing her upset – why would he do something so disgusting & upset her by cheating on her!!??! I am sorry but he needs to go! It is extremely clear that he is only interested in himself and what he wants and “needs”.

  • Margaret Yaksic

    I have been following this story all week. My heart goes out to you Tori. I know that you have to keep making an income and this is just one way to do it. Don’t ever let the behavior of someone else effect your own self-esteem. What that person does isn’t your problem it is their own insecurities that make them do what they do. You are a picture of sucess! You use your image to make money. What is wrong with that? Hold your head up. I think it is very brave to show your vulnerable side like this. Also if you choose to end the marriage I know that you will still be able to pull it off.

  • Chelle

    Don’t forget Dean has an older child that has lived this hell already!

    • Cammy

      Two children. We just don’t hear about the adopted daughter. Hopefully Dean’s first wife will now keep both children away from Tori and Dean. Because she had originally allowed them to be part of the show and photographed. Somehow after this mess I have a feeling he’ll be making fewer trips to Los Angeles.

  • Amber Roberts

    The show was really hard to watch. My heart breaks for you.

    I had a significant other cheat on me with 2 of my best friends at the same time. It took a few years to forgive him but I couldn’t forget. I think forgetting is the hardest part. We were never able to repair our dating relationship but ended up good friends, though every chance I could get a dig in on him I did.

    There is no right or wrong answer for your situation. You just have to be able to sleep at night with the decision you make. To forgive and get past something like that you truly have to let it go and move on. That means never dredging up old issues that you both consider to be resolved. If you feel the need to bring it up in the heat of a new argument, it really wasn’t resolved. Make sense? As women it’s hard to let go of things, especially infidelity. All you can do is what’s best for your children (they need a happy mommy) and it won’t happen overnight. Healing is a long process.

    I commend you for putting your struggle out there. I think it’s great that you leave nothing for the media to run wild with. You are so strong and so fortunate to have a great support system, you’ll get through it!

  • sue

    I was very disappointed to see your friends encouraging you to think Dean’s text message was something terrible, instead of waiting to hear the facts from Dean. It is easy to judge and encourage a friend to feel a certain way, talk them into a decision, etc. when they don’t have to live with the results. Listen to your own heart & head Tori- not making a rash decision and allowing yourself to feel all different (and sometimes conflicting) ways about this is the best thing you can do. I won’t judge whether or not you should have the kids on tv or anything having to do w them- I don’t live your life, don’t know your circumstances, financial or otherwise. I do think you love your children, and want what you think is best for them so I am sure you have given it all thought. Keep your chin up- there are good times to come, xxx

  • Stephanie

    I went through a similar situation in my marriage. I am glad you are telling your story. There were so many things you said that were the exact same things I thought and said when I found out about my husbands affair. Watching you made me feel better because it made me realize other people have gone through this and understand. When you said when you found out it was like instantly losing your best friend I said those exact same words. I also think my husband is my soul mate, and I want to encourage you that it is possible for a marriage to survive this. It is now eight months after I found out and we are healing. You are very brave to tell your story.

  • Molly

    Everything about this show is just that, “a show”. ALL lies. Just a way for 2 fading “actors” to turn a buck, without a care that they are exploiting their children. Look at the facts. None of it makes sense. There have been quite a few articles written about this sham and a lot of important people on Twitter and social media re-tweeting and re-posting. Tori opens up the story in her “fake monologue” which was rehearsed and even parts of it posted on her blog. We then watch her “struggle” (in full glam make-up and proffesionally straightened hair)to get 4 kids off to school “alone?” LOL, she has 3 nannies. Three, And a personal assistant. She says, “we’ve been late with the kids to school every day Dean has been gone.” Which leads me to my next point. How long has Dean actually been gone? She says since December, that they, “had Christmas alone”. This is another plate of Bullshit. Dean had it with them, there is evidence on social media that they had it together as well as many more family times after that. You don’t get “breaks” at rehab or get to use your phone, so how could their be pictures if he was actually in rehab.I doubt their even was an affair.And why isn’t anyone (tori or dean) mentioning they they met under the circumstance when one or both of them was cheating on their spouses?! I do feel however that Dean could benefit from some sort of rehab, to assist with his lies, poor acting, bloated look, and general douchbaggery attitude). And Tori could use a little rehab for reasons I haven’t the time to name here as I’ve wasted enough of my life with this. AS for “TRUETORI” I am done and disgusted.

  • ellie3

    Firstly, I am deeply ashamed of myself for tuning in to watch the show because I am now a hypocrit for commenting. But I feel compelled to comment. I am very saddened that we “civilized” people are eager to spend our money and our time consuming what the tabloids go to great lengths to exploit. I’m sad that there are scumbags desparate enough for their payday that they stalk, lurk and bascially hunt people and their families down to exploit them for a buck. I’m, sad that television networks like BravoTv, Lifetime, MTV, etc., also prey on the weak who don’t grasp that the infamy, which goes hand-in-hand with realityTv, could ruin the lives and reputations of their families and themselves. It all feels so disgusting and is what we the people perpetuate all in the name of wanting to be entertained. This is a sad story, very sad story, but the only thing that makes it different from any other person living with marital problems, is that it is taking place more publically. That is really sad. I do not believe though, that making this into a reality show is necessary to keep the media from twisting the truth. I believe it was bad advice and is an attempt to stay relevant. Otherwise, a simple 1-hr, 1-time interview would have sufficed. I’m sad that they feel such a need to stay in the public eye, that they are just giving the scumbags more material so that they can sell more gossip to we scumbags that are chewing it up.

    I would love to say to this couple, that although they have been tabloid fodder, it will go away if they just stop feeding it. This show feeds it. This is going to be very embarrassing for their children one day, and they have absolutely no say. It’s very narcissistic if this couple believes that the public wakes up and goes to sleep every day and night, thinking about this story. Speaking for myself, I gave it no thought after reading the headline months ago –my life went on. It wasn’t until I saw a preview of the interview while watching project runway, that I thought “what is this”? When is became clear that this was not just an interview but a realitytv series, I again, was sad.

  • Stephanie Johnson

    I feel for you. I nearly cried when i saw you take care of four energetic kids in the morning and how hard it was for you. You are a strong woman and brave. I fully support you and your reality mini series

    • Lois

      LOL.That was ONE day. One day where the “multiple” yes multiple nannies and assistants weren’t filmed. They are ALWAYS there.

  • Sightation

    This is not just happening 2 u. It’s happening 2 ur kids as well. Pls get them the support to speak freely about the elephant in the room. They r in pain.

  • Katherynn

    I’m proud of you, Tori, for deciding to take the control back. Telling your own story, in your own voice is the best for YOU and your family and your relationship.

    I’m proud of you, Tori, for being there for your children as well as you have been. I’m not a mom (yet) but my best friend was a single mom of two boys for years while going through a nasty divorce. He had problems with addiction and cheating as well. I saw her struggle every day, and I can only imagine how hard it would be with 4 small children! You have my love and support and encouragement! (((((hugs)))))

    Reading the comments, there are a bunch of negativity nestled in with
    the positive comments. Shame on you to those that feel they need to
    pre-judge someone for doing what THEY feel they need to do. All it does
    is make everyone else judge YOU in return. Who are we to judge whats
    best for each other? Instead of breaking each other down, why don’t we
    uplift and support and love each other instead?

  • Ellen Thompson

    I think the whole thing is made up. The therapist you are using on your ‘show’ is the same on Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed used on their show which was so contrived as well. Wondering if Dean ever even cheated or if you both have been writing this and planning this for awhile now as material. Where is Emily Goodhand?
    Is that a real person. I ki d of doubt it.

  • Mama D

    I don’t feel as human beings which in the true meaning of that name are not perfect by any means, have the right to judge others. I feel each person goes through life’s experiences in their own way and that is what makes us unique. I feel that as a mother and a wife, it is very brave of Tori to go through this experience publicly. Whether she had chosen to keep it private or not, the “world” still would have made up their stories and versions of her life and this present trial they are experiencing. As a mother, a very protective mother, I would rather my children know the truth than some story they see in a grocery store line or from another kid in class whose read a story in a magazine. If she confronts this head on she takes away the power of those who choose to fabricate these stories. No marriage is perfect whether you are an “average joe” like myself or a hollywood celebrity. Being a “perfect” parent is extremely hard and for me, it is nice to know that no matter your status in life, as a parent we all have the same crazy sometimes. You doubt yourself as a parent at times as well as a spouse and to know that we all have imperfect moments, well, it’s kind of refreshing. It makes you realize it will all be okay and it really isn’t that bad. So HOORAY Tori for being a great mom, person, and wife. I hope you are able to find your own happy ending, regardless of public opinion.

  • Michelle Easley Dalton

    My heart was breaking for you while I was watching, I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been through and admire your strength and trying to shield your children from this. I may not know what you are going through but I will say you need to talk to someone to deal with everything that you have been through and this is through no faulT of your own, this mistake is all on Dean!!

  • Ellen Thompson

    And the ending is very clear. In your show you will forgive Dean because “love conquers all” or something equally corny.
    Wonder how Mary Jo Eustace feels about this?

  • pattis page

    Tori…I commend you for getting out your side of the story, I do not read the tabloids, because they are filled with so many non-truths. I kind of Know what it is like to have the camera follow your every move, since my family and I was part of a Documentary filmed from 2002-2005 and was released in October 2005. The film media will made a story out of anything GOOD or BAD. Anyway, I respect your decision to go public instead of trying to deal with this with no support. When this happened to me I did not have any support and had to deal with his many indiscretions myself. It was by the force of other happenings that we needed to seek outside professional counseling to be able to put this past us. I am happy to say thou it is not far out of past I was able to forgive this but it will never be forgotten. We are more happily Married for now going on 32 years. Hang in there get the professional help needed and be there for each other because there will be things that will be again out of our control and we all need a support system to be able to get us through it. My motto is: If He brought you to it He will get you through it. Dean also needs this just as much…so appreciate what you have (Dean) cause in the end this will be the legacy that you will leave behind.

    • Dorothy

      I agree. Too many of us live with the shame in secret.

  • Susanne

    Love u T – stay strong babe …. The sun always comes up after the storm

  • tina

    I liked the episode it let us see what was really going on in the marriage. Because you guys always seemed so in love . And I’m sure you were. I feel very bad for you it can’be easy with small children around keeping it together for them. Thank you for sharing such a personal issue I hope for the best for your family

  • Kathy Lee Ragialio

    Poor “little Rich girl” as she stated in her opening fake monologue. This is so fake it. She hasn’t been given the opportunity to tell her story? Ever? What about her 5 books, her show, Tori and Dean whatever that was. Does anyone believe for a second that she is caring for those children alone, that she ever has? It’s called HELP people. And don’t be fooled, she has an army of it. Nannies, stylists, make-up people, and not just for this made up show, always. She doesn’t live in reality, not on this show, not in real life. And I bet this affair nonsense is untrue as well. What kind of rehab let’s someone have cell phones and be on social media? Tori has never been a good actor and this show proves my point again. If she and that idiot Dean want to ruin their lives, and any career left, that is on them, but leave the kids out of it. Trust me those kids have zero chance at a normal or happy future.

  • megan

    I feel like you had to finally come clean with everyone & say that the media wasn’t lying & knowing how much you don’t like the media.

  • Laura Jean Ohara

    Hmmmm…Maybe you can now understand how Deans first wife felt when you destroyed HER family? What goes around, comes around!

  • Eileen

    Wow, I can’t believe you’re doing it. Your kids will see that someday. That is the kind of things you talk about privately. I think you’re only doing it to keep your face in public and for the money. Pretty sad. I liked your other shows, but this one is as low as it gets.

  • kimloveslp .

    Tori, i have grown up watching you on tv. We are the same age and I have always like you. One thing I was wondering and I am sure you have too. When you and Dean first got together on the set of your movie you said that he had never cheated on his wife before. That his first time cheating on her was with you. Now that he has cheated on you how can You ever believe anything he ever told you. I think he is only sorry because he got caught. I hope you can move on from this whatever you decide to stay with Dean or to divorce him. Remember you can’t stay married just for the sake of the kids. You can’t be happy if you don’t trust Dean. How can you ever forgive him for this? I couldn’t if it was my husband he would be gone. Hope you think long and hard about if you really want Dean back in your life

  • zbossofu

    Tori, did you think Dean would b in a faithful marriage to you, if he was unfaithful when married to Mary Jo? A happy person doesn’t cheat, it has nothing to do with the marriage or partnership. The onus is with yourself.

    • zbossofu

      I wanted to also ask you if Dean would be in a marriage minus the cameras, fame, celebrity status that you yourself have held your entire life? How many times will you allow him to cheat before you have had enough?

    • Dorothy

      Shame on you for saying it’s her fault HE cheated.

      • zbossofu

        Shame on you for being so thick in the head. Nothing was mentioned about it being Tori’s fault. She cheated on her previous spouse as did Dean. To think that Dean would not cheat is nonsensical. How do you not understand that is beyond me. Pathetic I suppose. Good riddance!

  • UNTRUE TORI

    Tori says “I received lots of Facebook messages, tweets and texts from family,
    friends and fans with words of support, and stories of overcoming
    difficult times. Lots of you let me know that you’ve been through
    similar experiences, and hearing how you got through those tough times
    gave me hope.” Where and from whom? How about all the people speaking the truth about what a horrendous load of bullshit this blog is, your show, the way you choose to raise your children, and this fak-o tv show is? The people have spoken and will continue to speak. Shame on you Tori.

    • Charlie

      Tori creates her own reality. She is a fraud and a phony! Look up a YouTube video titled ‘Tori vs Mary Jo’. Tori once had Dean’s first wife Mary Jo thrown out of an awards show by falsely telling g security guards she had a restraining order against Mary Jo.

      • Dorothy

        Must be true cuz it’s on the internet lol.

    • Dorothy

      Who are you to say what is the truth?

  • Doloros

    Just goes to show you, that Hollywood is NOT a suitable environment to raise children.Just look at Tori!

  • géraldine

    That’s not fair because it’s not your fault and this is you who are suffering and hurt. I think you both need time and you’ll see what happened. But don’t forget:( In French we say: “Vaut mieux être seul que mal accompagné”).

    Good luck, everything is gonna be better

  • Beth

    Tori, I had tears in my eyes watching your show! I experienced a similar thing in my marriage ten years ago when my husband of 25 years, father of my four children, had an affair with another woman. I feel your pain, and I understand exactly how you feel when you wonder “What did I do to make him cheat.” You will get through this. Whether or not your marriage can survive this (mine did not) will be determined in the future. You, however, WILL SURVIVE! You did not cause him to cheat – he did it because of what is inside of him. You are an amazing mother, and your children know that. Stay strong!

  • Dawna

    I’m honestly beginning to wonder if this whole tragedy is fake. There are lots of reports out there that it is. Some of these reports make me wonder?
    What a tragedy to film such intimate details for the entire world to see, some things should definitely remain private. However, Tori is a very smart business woman and she knows what makes for great t.v. Looks like she’s getting exactly what she was going for!

  • zbossofu

    Most if not all the outlets have mentioned the show is fake. My question is why did Emily Goodhand disappear? I am sorry I took the bait, and I’m sorry that there isn’t other entertaining ideas for you all to produce.

  • phoebewinter

    On “The Talk” CBS television talk show today, it was brought out that someone was saying that Tori has 3 nannies and an assistant and this fact shows her reality show about Dean’s cheating is all made up–fiction. Uh, hello, I recall from the opening episode Tori saying something about not wanting to change things in her children’s world just because Dean is away in treatment. This may not be the exact wording, but this is the gist of it. I took this to mean that since she and Dean used to be the 4 hands that dressed, fed and got the kids off to school in the morning (the 2 older kids being the ones to go to school), Tori didn’t want to bring in another person to help with the morning routine. It’s not saying she doesn’t have help. She was choosing to do the morning routine alone RATHER THAN UPSET THEIR WORLD BY BRINGING IN AN OUTSIDER. Some people try really hard to make Tori “wrong.” Come on folks. She’s human, doing the best she can with a difficult situation, trying to be clear about the truth as it will be less damaging than letting other people tell her story. Have a heart. She’s really in an “impossible” situation because she has a tough situation on her hands, and she’s being honest, but some people are trying to skewer her any way they can. God bless Tori. You other readers might think you can do better, but seriously, she’s doing the absolute best in this difficult situation that ANYONE could do.

    • Li

      Nothing is impossible. This happens to people everyday, in every country, from every walk of life and they don’t hire nannies and help but continue with their lives without thinking they “deserve” a reality show about how pathetic they are. Her arrogance is contagious and seeing as you are a Tori fan, it’s rubbed off on you… It’s a difficult situation, it’s a horrible situation, but you are inept if you think this is the “the absolute best in this difficult situation that ANYONE could do”.

      • phoebewinter

        It may not seem impossible if we’re talking burying the heartbreak, cutting off the flow of feelings of hurt and anger, and just going on in life. That’s indeed possible. A lot of people do it that way, that’s for sure. If one just wants a cut and dried existence in life, that’s fine. However, that’s not the recipe for healing emotionally or providing an emotionally healthy way of life for her family in the larger picture. Tori’s journey, as I understand it, is to not shut down her feelings. She seemed, to me, to not want to simply cut off feeling her feelings and merely get through life. Rather, she wanted to honor her rightful feelings and deal with them. To not do so fully breeds underlying resentments. That poisons family life, as a family is a system where, like a hanging mobile, if one part is affected, all parts are affected, even if the issue is never brought up again. To not deal directly with the issues this brought up, the family will be negatively affected, even if it is under the surface and only comes up later in the children’s lives in adulthood and possibly THEIR marriages. She wanted to deal with her feelings genuinely, move through the experience, and honestly get beyond it, eventually putting it in the past, and healing her marriage if Dean’s future choices will allow. She wants to honor her feelings of, both, her love for dean and her hurt at his betrayal–instead of steeling up her emotions and merely getting through her life. She wanted to process her feelings, forgive and begin the healing process, rather than shoving it down and going on. It’s really difficult, to which I referred as “impossible” (I put “impossible” in quotes which indicates it is not to be taken literally) to still feel the love for a cheating husband, while not sweeping the feelings of hurt under the rug, still being emotionally open & available to the children, doing the morning routine with 4 kids all under the age of 6 or 7, however old Liam is, AND executive producing (creating and developing) a TV show–“Mystery Girls” which premieres on June 25, 2014, in a business that doesn’t slow down for anyone for even a minute. When I was babysitting at 13, I babysat for a family with four children age 5 y.o. and under. I can say it is a handful to care for 4 children by oneself. So, yeah, it is possible to get through all this if you shove down all the feelings and just go on, but to do it with a vulnerable heart–open feelings and open eyes, it might feel overwhelming (how I meant “impossible”). My heart goes out to you. I hope you are able to learn to have compassion for others and yourself and give credence to the whole idea of emotionally healing and not just getting through life’s messes without the real healing process. Anything less than that hardens one’s heart, puts up “walls,” and lets anger come out in other ways . . . even if a person thinks they can handle it by suppression and it won’t affect a thing. Some times it is handled through overeating or other vices. To tamp down some feelings lessens one’s experiencing of life, including being open to life’s true joys and being able to have compassion for others’ difficulties. To deal with true feelings, find the courage to examine one’s own family-of-origin issues, be emotionally available in the moment, and be nurturing to oneself and one’s children all during the same period of time might seem overwhelming at times, but can lead to a fuller, richer emotional life and free oneself emotionally from the past rather than begrudgingly live with betrayal for the rest of one’s life, and having to keep that “lid” on the “simmering pot” of built up anger and resentment. Best wishes to you.

  • Victoria

    According to Tori, she knows how to make a successful reality show because she knows how to produce story-lines that captivate audiences… this is not a storyline that needs to be told in public. She can easily talk to her children about what is going on with their father and teach them the importance of believing and knowing who they are over believing everything they read and being obsessed with what others think about them. Her vanity is disqusting and her children are sure to grow up idolizing attention and not having self confidence because of her.

    After the disaster of Tori’s last “book” read despicable rant about everyone in Hollywood, she continues to shock people with her selfishness, vindictive personality, and overwhelming stupidity.

    Tori is never going to be anything besides Aaron Spelling’s daughter because of herself. She’s had ample times to break-out and define herself but her own arrogance and misinformed “fame” continue to be her downfall.

    • phoebewinter

      Children’s brains are not fully developed. As such, children think in concrete ways. They do not fully understand nuances, deceitfulness, ulterior motives, insinuations as sometimes nothing more than unfounded conjecture, and so forth. Telling young children not to believe what’s printed is not an effective enough tool to guard their self-esteem and sense of security. It’s best to prevent the distortion of information in the first place, while also speaking to them at their level of child development. More mature levels of thinking don’t begin to develop in children until the age of 12, and even then not all persons are there by that age.

  • Jenny

    Why do people think that just because Tori and Dean are famous that they would pimp out their personal story for money? I feel terrible for what Tori and the kids are going through. Only Tori and Dean know the real truth and the best way to resolve it for their family. She has every right to be out there telling her story accurately and heartfelt whether or not she gets paid. Being in the tabloids for years with things written incorrectly about her has no doubt inspired her to just lay it all out there. It’s also a way to force discussion and healing within the family. I like watching Tori and Dean on tv and I’d like to believe what I’ve seen is truthful and not just acting. It’s reality tv so I expect editing but overall I feel like they are more honest than some reality shows.

  • phoebewinter

    Tori has another prime time show coming out in 8 weeks. She is not doing her current reality show for money, attention, vanity. She’s trying to prevent fictional speculation about her marital issues and Dean’s situation. See my two other comments (one is a reply to Lisa) below. This topic is obviously devastating and she is choosing to face it rather than be in denial and live a lie. She would not rock the boat in such a devastating way if she had an option to not have this kind of thing a part of her life. If this weren’t a true situation, she undoubtedly would not choose this kind of crap to make up. She’s creative enough that she would come up with something a lot more fun. I’ve watched all of her reality shows, including her wedding planning reality show. This woman is talented, even if some choose to never see past her heritage as Aaron Spelling’s daughter. She has created fun adventures in her other reality shows. She doesn’t have to stoop to make up negative B.S. just to put together a reality show.

  • Kristen Wilson Mason

    The pain will subside. The trust will take a long time to come back. For me even after several years it still lingers in the back of my mind. One thing I learned was, it’s not up to me to trust again, it’s up to him to earn it. God bless you and your family.

  • Canadian girl

    I have had the same thing happen to me Tori, my husbanf cheated on me with another woman while on business trips that he routinely took. I never imagined that he would have done this. It had been 1 1/2 years now and while we are still together the pain of his deception is crippling, i do want you to know that the pain does lessen with time.
    I was devestated, obsessed, and humiliated! I also at the same time became aware that my husband was a closet alcoholic, and also lost his career all at the same time.
    I pleaded with him to go to rehab, which when he went he was still in touch with his pig of a woman, who was telling him how he was fine and didnt need rehab, so he promptly left.
    After about 6 weeks of being locked out of the house and little contact with me or the children, he finally came to his senses and dumped his pig, and realized he needed rehab and went for the full 60 days.
    We are in weekly therapy individual and marriage and things are getting better everyday.
    I just wanted to tell my story, as there is a light at the end of the tunnel even though you may not see it now, and the hurt does get better, I think we have a shot at it and we’re giving it our all!
    Love and Hugs to you Tori!

  • JaNelle

    I Think from your first show ., You want your Husband back. Ask yourself ” Is he the man you fell in Love with? “

  • Mary Williams

    Thank you for having the courage to bring light to an epidemic. Many women are and have been in your very situation. The pain & devastation of sexual addiction is life changing. So much of what you said, including the Bait-N-Switch, rings true! So much can be learned from your sharing this very private experience and I thank you so much. Be good to yourself, you deserve it! Hugs

  • Laura Light

    Hi Tori! I really appreciate your show, & will be watching it all. But I’m sure you’ve heard about the rumors of some people calling it fake. It’s clearly real, nobody could orchestrate all that! And I find it obnoxious people trying to insinuate it. But maybe you & your team need to address it. I’m sorry you’re getting this particular backlash. I for one, find it incredibly candid. Xo

  • jessie

    Tori, I’m 32 and have been a fan since the early 90210 days. I’ve watched every show you and Dean have done (still bummed I didn’t get to see all the weddings you did for sTORIbook) and have all your books. If you’re reading these, which I think you are if you asked for feedback, just remember that your fans should be like your friends:

    ‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’ – Dr. SeussI hope that you find your happiness again, with Dean or without.

  • virginia gutierrez

    I’m so grateful for you sharing with us. I can relate to this. Not in the way that hubby cheated. My hubby has substance abuse issues and bipolar. E self sabatoges also. I appreciate it. We been together for 24 years so good luck.

  • brandi oberst

    tori, if we are human we can all honesly say that we’ve been thru this or something similar. God has never said it would be easy but to just trust in him and he will lead the way. i can see that this is hard for you. but just know that it’s not you, it’s Dean. he has some things that he needs to sort out and it’s not you it’s things with in himself he needs to fix. he loves yopu as well as you love him and you can get thru this you may never forget what he did but the key is to forgive him truly forgive him. i sit here saying these things to you and am asking myself one thing i’d like to ask you why don’t stars try to befriend some of their fans who are just looking forsome to be friends with them i know it could be dangerous if the person is crazy but sometime we get sad to trying to reach out and nonne to talk to was just curious. im Brandi Oberst Owensboro, ky look me up on facebook sometime maybe we can talk sometime i need someone too. hag in there tori “LIFES A BLESSING AND EVERYONE THAT WE COME IN CONTACT WITH IS BECAUSE GOD PUT THEM THERE.” i sure hope i hear from you i could talk all night just wish i had a girlfriend to talk to. goodnight and God Bless

  • Melinda

    Tori,
    from one hurt woman to another: It’s been almost a year since I found out that my husband betrayed me and the trust that we had built in our relationship. That initial feeling that every nerve in your body is exposed and overly sensitive is excruciating. While my story was not broadcast to the extent of yours, it was also made very public. I cannot imagine the strength that you had to muster in order to put on a brave face for your family and move forward. When I see other comments where people judge your decisions and advise you what steps to take next, it infuriates me because nobody knows what the right thing to do is but you! You will find the right path for you and your family and nobody can help you make that decision. I wish you much luck and support during this trying time.

  • M

    Ok people Tori asked for comments on what everyone thinks , I would think growing up in the spotlight and being a smart woman she knows there will be negative comments. I agree with the comment that because she has 4 children their love life or lack of shouldn’t be put on tv like she’s doing. Her kids friends etc. will all see and they will be suffer from it. Some things in life you keep as private as you possibly can. But saying that Tori you need to stay strong stop the show be firm with what you want from your husband and go on with your life like many of us women do who’s husband’s cheat. Remember, he was married when he met you I’ve said it plenty of times, once a cheat always a cheat ! Good luck you and your family I hope everything works out :)

  • Oliver

    I appreciate your honesty. It was hard to watch. Please get a nanny to help you or you are going to go crazy.

    • Beth Johnston Franklin

      She had one and a personal assistant!

  • LaDonne

    You are handling this with such grace and class! I think you are doing the right thing by being open and allowing your fans to see the truth instead of believing the news reports. You are a wonderful wife and mother and I think you are doing the right thing by giving your marriage another shot! I wish you and Dean the best and I pray for peace for you!

  • Beth Johnston Franklin

    I just feel like stuff doesn’t add up. You say you hadn’t seen each other in 3 mos, yet you were photographed together holding hands in Jan? Dean supposedly wasn’t out of their sight in rehab yet he was allowed to come and go and was photographed by paparazzi in Jan. I don’t buy that he went to rehab in December. I believe the story and I’m sorry for your pain, but I think you have manipulated quite a bit for the reality show.

    • Jenn

      All of Tori’s earlier reality shows and books are highly manipulated. She is a fraud.

  • Erica

    How do you explain the picture from New Years Day you posted ON THIS WEBSITE? You claimed on the show that you spent Christmas and New Years alone. Wow, how could you do this to your kids? I feel so sorry for them being used this way and their lives manipulated.

  • Snlcadiero

    I wanted to go into the television and give you a hug. I know that when things are going bad at that time all you can think is “why me” but once it passes you will come out stronger and wiser. You are not alone.

  • Tauren Stiles

    I think the cheating scandal was made up to get you an interesting story line for your new reality show.

  • VM

    I am really sorry you’re going through this, as I understand it because I’ve been there, as so many people have. But I firmly believe what goes around comes around. You need to take a hard look at why YOU made the choice you did seven years ago if you truly want to eventually move forward and lead a healthy and happy life, for you and your kids. We are all responsible for our own choices and happiness in life. You need to take an honest look at yourself and work on your own issues regarding why YOU became the other woman years ago. And what has made you stay in the marriage with Dean when you saw red flags, as you’ve stated? There are two of you in that marriage. I am not excusing your husband by any means, but you can only control what you do, the decisions and choices you make. We all get something out of people and situations, and you need to take a look at what drew you to Dean in the first place, what made you get involved with a married man, what made you stay when you saw questionable behaviour, etc. You desperately need your own separate therapy. You don’t see it now, you can’t, but there is a huge opportunity for growth and life-change here. And you should be working through this in private. There is absolutely no good reason why you should be doing this on television. Your children should be number one, and regardless of what you say to justify exposing yours and your children’s lives through this turmoil, it’s just plain wrong and completely unfair to them. There is no excuse for subjecting them to this. My thinking is that you are doing this to get back at your husband by exposing and embarrassing him. But you’re embarrassing yourself in the process and hurting your children. I don’t care that you’re a celebrity. I would tell my friends the exact same thing. I hope you find peace one day.

  • Tauren Stiles

    I posted a comment that the reality show is just a big made up lie and it was removed. Interesting

    • Dorothy

      So post it again if you think it’s necessary. Get over it.

  • melissa skolly

    Ok is the show FAKE or not? Tori
    I need to know to many rumors and it is true that there is no women is canada names Emily good hand even the last name sounds made up

  • hwfan50

    I truly feel for you and for all your fame, you seem so normal. Its easy to say leave him but four kids need their family and what better reason to try than those four kids. He seems pretty pathological and narcissistic but they all got something, it just depends on what you can bear. You seem pretty strong even though you look so frail and you will figure it out.

  • PrincessMaggie

    I love you Tori!! Stay strong! Many people have been criticizing you for going public, but honestly what do they care!! It is healing for you to get your story told the way that you want to!! I could not imagine being in your shoes taking care of your FOUR babies. You are a STRONG woman. Know that everything happens for a reason, and I am sure that you are helping other women!! GO TORI!! Praying for you from the east coast! XOXO

  • K

    Once a cheater always a cheater….

  • Becky

    Connected to your story, really felt your turmoil , best word of advice I can give you is if you take Dean back, you are taking back a betrayer -no if ands or buts. You will have to accept that fact and expect it to happen again. Truly accepting this will make your life together tolerable and civil for your children. Enjoy the affection he shows you and do not question what he does or who he does it with

  • Miamimomma

    Im concerned here. How come you guys thinking attacking her is helpful? Why don’t we hold others to these standards? When ppl share their cancer stories publicly we applaud them and say how inporational they are. What Tori is going through is very real. I can say that from experience. You don’t understand until you have been there. Attaccking someone is not the answer. Her courage to share her story is impeciable. I cannot begin to explain how helpful it is for someone like me to see this and to know that I am not alone in what I am going through and how I feel. It isn’t her fault. To pick her apart is sad. Im a wife and a mom of two awesome kids and I am in the same place right now. Its easy to feel alone in these situations because people are to afraid to talk about it and were uncomfortable telling our story. Hearing form her is so amazing and helpful.
    To Tori. I wanted to say thank you. You are courageous. I want you to know (as im sure you are familiar) for all the million critics there are those of us who are standing with you. I feel so cliché. I never post on walls or make comments but I find myself glued to this stuff right now. I know this is “common” but the people in your position who are open about it is not. You have to know your doing a wonderful job. I find there are days when im so angry and days when I try to act like nothing ever happened. Its been almost a year and I have days like today when I feel like it was yesterday. Keep your head up momma. Listen to your heart and keep pushing forward. I know its easy to say but Im living it too (only none else knows about mine). Thank you for sharing with us.

    • Marie

      Did you just compare Tori’s marital troubles to cancer? No, honey, no.

  • Just wondering

    How can you complain about the paparazzi, then turn around and put all the same stuff on TV. ie… Daughter gets sick in the car.

  • Becky

    I have been a fan since I first watched an episode of Inn Love. I have all of your books and I think you are doing the best you can with the hand you were dealt. I have never been through a situation like yours, but I just want you to know that my heart aches for you. I hope that you and Dean can do whatever works best for the the two of you and your children.

  • Jody Swanson

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry! :( thank you for saying words that seemed to be coming from my own life. I lost my fairy tale to a pathetic man who didn’t have to the courage or commitment to fight for our love. He stole all my hard earned money, left me for dead after recovering from ovarian cancer/chemo/hysterectomy. I took him back a few times because I believed in our original love. He broke my heart and still does…he refuses to answer my calls/texts and just has tried to hide and never said good-bye…who does that? A coward my friends tell me! Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone w/ my sadness. It was so weird to hear you saying things that sounded like my own feelings. It made me tear up at times to imagine that you are so sad and also that I am not alone. I hope that you and Dean can make it. I bet you can. He is much better than my guy, who was just out for himself after I gave ALL. xo

  • smooglysue

    It is incredible to me, the amount of negative feedback Tori receives on her own website. What is the point of going out of your way to say something when you don’t even like her or support her? You don’t have anything better to do than find a person you dislike, and post nonsense on their page? This is not high school any more, there is no need to be a bully any more… if you don’t like the show don’t watch it. Simple as that. If you don’t like Tori Spelling don’t go on her website.

    This show breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to think of going from loving someone so much, and then your whole world just crumbles, and you could lose them, or not even want them any more. It’s especially sad because I have seen your love blossom and shine to just seeing you both broken. I wish you and your family the best, Tori.

  • janet

    i did see a report that this show was a fake…not reality…but why ? to embarrass yourself and everyone else involved? for money? i sincerely hope not. I was quite shocked that this story was even being televised…but I felt if that was the way Tori wanted to deal with the situation…more power to her!

  • Sandy

    The show was very emotional to watch. March on brave one…you’re an awesome mother. And that is the most important job you’ll ever have.

  • banni910

    I am a Tori fan and that started for me the moment I watchedTuesday’s episode. I was left in awe of your strength. Speaking from the perspective of someone who has walked through the journey that you are now embarking on I commend you for your ability to be strong for you and your children during this the most awful time in your life. The comment that you made on the way to see Dean about being excited to see him but feeling like it was wrong to say that was so true. Be strong and know your worth.

  • Piper

    This relationship began based on deceit and lies. You walked away from your husband and left him to deal with your cheating which was emblazoned on the front pages of the tabloid press. Dean left Mary-Jo and their son and abandoned the baby they were in the process of adopting. Your spouses had to deal with public humiliation and private pain while you both swanned around LA telling everyone who would listen how in love you were and how you each had found your “soulmate.”
    Now you are in MaryJo’s position with four very young children. I will have great respect for you as a mother if you find a private therapist, a hotshot divorce lawyer and build a life for them. Sell your warehoused goods and build financial security. This is not the first time you have had doubts about Dean’s character, you almost died getting pregnant too quickly with your last child. I believe you will find the strength to be the parent who provides your children with real stability because in this situation they are the victims and you only have control over your behaviour. Your wonderful friends will support you.

  • Salt

    So sorry you are going through all this!

  • Ellen Thompson

    My cousin and his wife have 5 kids. Ages 1 1/2, 3, 6, 10 and 14.
    She’s on her own and separated from my cousin. She does the cooking, cleaning, washing, gets them off to school all ON HER OWN. She has no nannies or assistants helping wirh anything yet I don’t hear her whining about it.
    She just does what she has to do.
    You are way too spoiled.

  • Krysia

    Hope- Health 1st, Only one life, Pray, Express: Life is interesting and you never know what one moment will bring , people will project their scenarios but only you and your family will ultimately experience the outcome of “your” situation. Im praying for you and the people herein that feel the need to be grossly negative to you. I believe you have the strength to let those neg’s to roll off, that’s their issues not yours. Never feel ashamed for the decision you will make whether you best friend likes it or not, live your truth.

  • Guest

    For the record I was the 1st to claim True Tori is nothing but a True Sham…no affair ever happened. Us Weekly ruins your life & you turn around & give them an exclusive? Managing the children alone is unmanageable? The nannies went to treatment too? Come on people… She didn’t share her “I could’ve bled out” ordeal with Finn until MONTHS after the fact suddenly we are living the worst threat to her marriage & family in real-time…I DONT THINK SO.$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    • Dorothy

      Congrats on being the 1st. Hope you’re proud.

  • Krysia

    To the people herein that feel the need to be so grossly negative; if you cant be supportive get your own blog to purge your own issues. Don’t watch the show, don’t get involved.

    • Dorothy

      My point exactly. I hope she doesn’t read all the negative posts, just the supportive ones. Whether real or staged, love her or hate her, what’s the point in the putting someone down?

  • Anna

    Tori, be glad that your father’s no longer alive to see the shame & embarrassment you’ve brought to the Spelling clan. The great Aaron Spelling worked hard with dignity & respect as a film & TV producer, while Tori worked hard as a reality TV scum, a pathetic author, a home wrecker, a whiner, and a total Hollywood reject !

  • Star84

    Dear Tori, I’m really sad about what you have to go through. Your morning routine broke my heart. I wish I could help you in whatever way possible. I so much would lend you my two hands to help the kids and give you some me time. I hope you find out what the best way will be for your family. Either way, you have to choose what’s right for you. Love, Tanja

  • Dorothy

    Still seeing WAY too many negative posts! Who is it helping, anyway? I hope when any of you go through a tough time in your life, others treat you better than you are treating Tori!

    Whether you love her or hate her, at least have some compassion for those children. As parents we will always wonder about the lasting effects our choices make in their lives. I believe Tori and Dean are trying to make a good life for their children, and that’s all anyone can do.

    May God Bless you all.

  • Mom2four

    Tori I am very sorry that you’re going through this. You have a beautiful family and it really sucks that times like this can’t be private. I can’t imagine what it must be like to never have privacy :(. If all of the horrible things in my life were aired before the world I don’t know :( that would be so difficult. You’re stronger than you think. Please don’t mind any of the hurtful/hateful comments others leave. What others think of you is none of you’re business. I am sorry that you feel you have to do this show because it’s nobody’s business but you and your husbands. I understand why you’re doing it, I just wish people in this world would allow celebrities privacy in their personal life. Every human deserves that. I am praying that you can find the love & support you need thru all this!!! Personally, I’m a Christian, and I know once we give all things over to Him (He loves us so much) you will truly see His power. Only He can heal our hearts and we can forgive those who hurt/wronged us because He forgives us daily of our wrong doings. I’d be lost without my Savior!!! I pray you can feel the love & support that only He can provide. Blessings

  • Helen Berry

    Tori my heart breaks for you, because I have been in your shoes. You must surround yourself with positive people and tell those that have negative feedback to keep it to themselves. The only friend that seems to be there for is is Mehran and he gave you very positive caring feedback. Your female friends are so negative and how dare they to tell you what you should or should not do and how to feel. Every person is different and grieves and handles their feeling in different ways. You need to take time for yourself and deal with what has happened to you, without your girlfriends giving you negative advise. Listen to your heart and remember that you have four wonderful, beautiful children that rely on you and Dean to give them the love and support needs to grow into strong, confident adults. Talk to Dean and pour your heart out about what his actions have put you through. I hope the two of you can work it out. I wasn’t given the chance to work things out with my first husband when he suddenly announced that he was leaving me and our 5 month old daughter and 22 month son. Do what is best for you and not what others think you should do. God bless you and I hope you don’t make any rash decisions that you will regret later.

  • missyt

    I have been in your shoes, Tori. You can make it through and have even a happier marriage. My husband had an emotional affair that lasted a year. The whole time my husband’s personality took a turn for the worse and I thought it was all my fault. It is not your fault and you can have your friend back. You need to get your emotions out, you can’t heal unless you allow yourself to feel the pain at its deepest. It is a hard process…It won’t be your old friend that is back, it will be a new and improved relationship that is back. He needs to work hard and prove himself and when he does this, a single block of the wall we all create comes falling down. Time heals all wounds. Sending my love and support.

  • melissa skolly

    Hasn’t anyone been reading the headlines I cryed to watching but then I started seeing all these rumors online saying it’s all fake they faked the affair there is no such woman named Emily goodhand she never did come out and show her face and story!!! tori and dean worked something out with US magazine. I think tori should tell us all the truth wheather this is all fake or not!!! Any of you ever read the Emily goodhand story? Nope anyone ever see this Emily goodhand ? Nope even the name sounds made up

    • Dawna

      Couldn’t agree more Melissa. This whole thing is so disgusting. The girl will do anything for publicity. Like she has no help with the kids, give me a break!!! Like the reports say, no one has ever seen this Emily “Goodhand”. As a mother of 5, I feel so bad for her children, if it is true, I can’t believe she wouldn’t keep this matter private. I’m disgusted!

      • melissa skolly

        I really like tori but the only people That covered this story was us magazine nobody else and it’s true this Emily goodhand is nowhere on the face of the planet, she said she was alone on Xmas yet on her and deans twitters there are pictures very close to Xmas looking happy new yrs pics and all,.and if you google it what come up tori and dean faked the affair all for the money but who know only they do still love ya tho t

  • Ellen Thompson

    My cousin has 5 kids, ages 1 1/2, 3, 6, 10 and 12. They are separated so the kids are all with his wife. She cooks, cleans, gets them ready for school, etc. and doesn’t whine about it on a reality show. And she does it ALL ALONE without the help of nannies and assistants like Tori. Give me a break. And why would you marry an adulterer (and you are one yourself) Tori and foolishly think Dean wouldn’t do the same thing to you. Don’t you think it’s just karma, I sure do.

  • Kelli

    Why is it so important that you tell your story? You have several young children to protect, and you are risking their mental health by subjecting them to and then airing all your dirty laundry. Should not they be your priority? Is that not more important than telling your story? I am disappointed in you for deciding to do this show. Both you and Dean have cheated. If you have marital problems and need help, get it, but privately. Care enough about your children to not pimp out your sex life and personal problems to the media.

  • Trish

    You are crazy for staying with him. You are too pretty and too smart for him. Once a cheater always a cheater.

    • Kat

      Tori is a cheater, too. She commited adulTORI when she was married to her first husband.

  • SweetKel

    Tori, I have been a fan of you for many years. 90210 was my all-time favorite show growing up and I balled my eyes out during the last episode. Anyway, I was also a devoted fan of all of your reality shows and I just adore your cute little family. I had no idea what was going on with you and Dean (yes, I live under a rock because I don’t read trashy magazines, I don’t watch gossip shows, and I don’t participate in social media – besides reading some blogs). I was shocked to hear the sad news. I’m glad I read on your blog about your True Tori show because I wanted to hear the truth about what happened. I think it’s great that you’re able to tell the true story (since I can’t stand hearing about the trash in those magazines and tv shows). I’m rooting for a happy ending for you Tori – no matter what the decision is. I just want you to be happy.

  • Ginger Luft

    I watched your show and I have walked in your shoes. My husband is a recovering addict and when he went to rehab my kids were not much older then yours. My friends would yell at me to leave him. Why was I staying? It was everything I could do just to stay vertical on some days, be the mom, get the kids to school and manage the house. This is beyond the questions from the kids and the reality of where my life may end up. In a nut shell, this man that I love with all of my heart will always be my kids dad. I owed it to them to do everything that I could to make it work. I understood that there were no guarantees and it was hard work. That was 18 years ago. I have just celebrated my 24th year of marriage and my kids have learned that marriage is work. It is not all peaches and cream. We, like you put their needs first and they have thrived. My husband would always ask me why I did not trust him. I told him that as hard as it was for him to get healthy that is how long it would take me to begin to trust him. Stick to your gut and set your boundaries. You and your kids will get through it. I admire your courage to put this out for all to see. Often times, I would just want to hide. It was easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

  • ErinNY

    To start off…I am grossly disturbed by the negative comments. This is Tori’s personal website, and your lack of respect is disturbing. When people get on these sites and start ripping into people; that is simply a psychological sign that something is wrong with them And some of you are mothers yourself?? Enough said and on to the issue…Dear Tori, I have always admired you and my heart breaks for you as I watch you go through this situation. You are more than just a celebrity, you are a human being with feelings. I am so sorry you have to deal with this situation, and to be in the face of public scrutiny must be horrible. I honestly believe that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I am in no means downplaying what is happening…but simply saying I know as difficult as this is, you will pull through it and whatever way it turns out ,you will continue to be a wonderful mother; and woman. Allow yourself to feel your feelings when and only when you are comfortable doing so. I know all too well the repercussions of stuffing and numbing emotions. Please don’t take that as a criticism, it most certainly isn’t. I guess what I would stress the most to you is this, what Dean did was NOT your fault in any way. It WAS NOT because you weren’t good enough, smart enough, thin enough or beautiful enough. You are all these things and more! I know sometimes as women we tend to blame ourselves when men cheat and lie and think there must be something about us that brought it on. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. It took me a long time to learn that. I don’t condone Dean’s behavior in any way; but he obviously has problems that stem way back in time. You mentioned on your show that there were red flags in the beginning, I don’t know exactly what you are referring too…but you have to know deep down that Dean had issues. As everyone does, I suppose. What I believe will make the difference is his willingness to address those problems head on, and from what I saw, he seems very willing to do that. While its true that some people never change, I am a firm believer that people who truly want to change, and can take responsibility for their bad behavior really can turn their lives around. I would never presume to tell you what to do, for only you will know that. Be confident that you will make the right decision. From what I have seen on the show, you and Dean obviously love each other very deeply. Although that must make it more painful, the fact remains that when you do get through this, you can get though anything. I think that you both love your children so much, and again, regardless of the outcome, you and Dean will always be great parents! Don’t listen to some of the horrific comments on here, its just sad,ignorant people feeding off drama. Embrace the love and support you get from your family, friends and fans and continue to take it a day at a time. Give yourself time to grieve the situation, and most importantly, Tori, be good to yourself! I have never posted anything on any forum like this, but you seem like such a genuine, sweet person….I felt compelled to write something in response. I admire your openness. I am thinking and praying for your situation to improve.

  • Ali

    Watching your episode of True Tori was hard, recently I’ve been going through the same thing with my husband of 14yrs. I cried through the show knowing the pain of betrayal, it’s not easy when someone you love hurts & lies to you. When you’re hurting you hope that people come together for you with love & understanding, I can’t imagine reading comments where people are intentionally writing hurtful things, I hope you don’t let it get to you. There are many of us who are where you are right now & appreciate your truth & raw emotion. You’re amazing Tori & I wish you a lifetime of happiness!!

    • Cammy

      Remember that some men cheat without actually physically doing anything. I had a boyfriend of 4 years have lunch with a co-worker, and he was cruel to me forcing me to break up with him. A week later they were “dating” and a few months later engaged. cheating takes many forms.

  • Viva

    Thinking of you Tori, sending you love and hugs to get through this, in whichever way that looks right to you❤️.

  • Just Awful

    It’s one thing to make a living but to do it at your childrens expense is awful. Your children will someday see you and your husband talking about his cheating and your husband saying you are not good in bed etc., can you imagine how mortified they will be. It would be one thing if they were adult children and agreed to be part of this but they are just children with no choice. No amount of money would make me do this to my children. Your children will see these episodes some day or be teased by mean kids, its so harmful to your children. I feel bad for you but I will never watch the show again.

  • Sarah Mackey

    Hi Tori! I feel like the people who judge you are the ones who have never been put in a situation like yours. The biggest mistake is to say “I would never…..” I know I said that back in my early 20’s with no marriage or kids. Now I look at my life, 12 years of marriage, 3 kids later….. It is truly not a black and white matter. I think with time and help you and Dean can overcome this. It just takes time. There is so much time, love, emotion invested in this to just say “get out, it’s over.” If you both still love each other and want to do the work, Your beautiful family is so worth it! Sending you all lots of love!! You are a good Mom. You are empowering! Keep telling the Truth!

  • Mandra_Kerns

    Watching your new show truly broke my heart! First off, I don’t think it’s right for people to be on here bashing a person they don’t even know or a situation that they’re not personally facing. Sure, some people on this thread have been through some things but still at the end of the day every one’s story is unique and different in many ways. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through or the pain you’re feeling and having to deal with it all in the public eye. As I watched you juggle everything on Tuesday night’s episode, I just wanted to give you a big hug. People are quick to say mean and harsh words and also to throw out advice. My husband and I lost our 4 year old daughter 2 1/2 years ago and believe it not, people were just pure hateful at times. I learned in those months that I had to deal with things my way and in my own time. I just want to say thank you for setting the record straight and giving your fans the truth. Again, I am so sorry that you’re having to go through this and I know it must be hard to keep pushing. You’re doing a wonderful job.

  • Shirley Patterson

    he will do it again, been there and i had 2 small children at the time so i took him back and yes he did it again and again. so sad i did not get out before it hurt my kids so much they still have problems they are 31 and 33 now, addiction is a big part of it. i blame myself for not having the guts to walk away from a cheater

    • jo

      Once a cheater , always a cheater, look at his track record, hire an assistant and a part time nanny you’ll be fine. when a woman has children she should never have more than she alone can handle just in case..

  • Ellen Thompson

    Sorry to burst your bubble but Dean got together wirh you not because he was enamoured with you but because of the Spelling money that came with you or will. He will always screw other women. He has kids with you now. He won the lottery and he knows it.

  • Hillary Blackwell

    I suggest reading the book “Should I Stay Or Go?: How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage”, give Dean a copy so he can read along. And then call Lee(the author) up and schedule a session. That’s exactly what my mom did–full disclosure, she was the one who cheated– and the entire process was amazing to watch and be apart of.

    My little brother was 4-5 when the entire ordeal played out, and the process really happened without him even realizing it.

    I know that the book and Lee saved my parents marriage. Now 5 years later, it feels really weird that my parents were even in that situation.

  • Natasha

    Just finished watching this episode.. Tori you are such a strong inspirational woman, and I think it takes a lot of courage to come forward and share your story. There are so many stereotypes and stigmas associated with celebrities and your honesty and courage have really opened the public’s eyes to what the ‘life of a celebrity’ can be like. You seem like an amazing mother, please don’t be hard on yourself. People that are on here posting negative comments, they are not worth your time or energy. Please know that you are affecting people in a positive way by sharing your story. You deserve happiness and healing. Please take good care of yourself, your children need you. You are a beautiful, strong, caring, wonderful woman. Keep your head up!

  • JJJJ4444

    I met my husband while he was still married and he left his wife and we were together for 11 years and four pregnancies later, we had three beautiful baby boys and a little girl that we lost very early in the pregnancy….. But always, in the back of my mind, the thought was always there that if he did it to his wife, he’ll do it to me as well. To make a very long story short, in January 2012 I caught him cheating and of course he denied denied denied. Over the two to three months following our life together was turmoil. Our lives were ruined. I felt so much hatred towards him and I admit I made life very difficult. In April 2012, he began to not feel good and thought he had pulled a muscle in his back which eventually the pain travelled down his leg. Doctors said his sciatic nerve was causing the pain. Over the summer of 2012 he stopped working because he was in so much pain. On September 3, 2012 after an ER visit and some further testing, we were informed he had stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to his bones and brain. My life stopped for three months while I took care of him day in and day out and still had three young kids to deal with. After I laid my head down at night I cried and cried and wondered what the heck am I going to do without him. I never planned on raising these kids alone and how can I financially??? I was so worried for our future together and so worried about what happens to us if he doesn’t survive this horrible disease. It was the hardest time of my life. I had so much guilt for the way I had treated him earlier in 2012 and how I made his life so bad for four or five months. He went through radiation and chemo but the cancer just spread to organs and other bones. There was no stopping it. He passed away on December 3, 2012 and I went through a very low time and depressed state yet I had to get up everyday and help my boys any way I could. They were my
    number one priority and still are to this day. I tried so hard to keep a happy face and seem like everything is going to be okay while I just felt like crawling under a rock and dying. Even writing this now tears roll down my face. Over the past year and four months we have survived although it is still very hard. It took me over a year to stop feeling so guilty and beginning to think – okay he did something wrong, not me. Today, life is hard but a bit better. Being a sole parent is very demanding on top of working full time and trying to maintain our mortgage payments, bill payments, house repairs, etc. etc. on top of raising three amazing boys by myself. I still cry a lot and miss him terribly, but life does continue – even after the worst imaginable thing can happen. There is no family around, although there are some good friends, they just don’t understand not having to live it first hand. Being thrown into being a sole parent and a 42 year old widow was and is still overwhelming.

    I’m telling you all this because my advice to you Tori is you have to forgive. I’m not advising you to take him back or not take him back as that is your decision based on what is best for you and no one can tell you what to do. We each have our own life to live and that includes making tough choices. But for your own sanity and happiness, you must forgive Dean. God forbid, something happens and you don’t have that chance to let him know he’s forgiven and that the most important thing is your four lovely children. I was so lucky and so thankful I had those three months of being with my husband 24 hours a day and just talking. We found that love back that we had so many years ago and I thank God everyday for my boys as without them I don’t know how I would have made it through. My biggest issues now are getting them through losing their Dad at such young ages and keeping his memories alive and trying to keep everything else as normal as possible as I don’t want to subject them to anymore change.

    Tori, I love your honesty on the show and past shows and pray for you and your family to find happiness and peace.

    Patricia

  • Missy

    Hey Tori. Just wanted to share my story….I was the one who cheated on my husband and ended up getting pregnant by the other person. :-( I found d out that I made a huge mistake! My husband took me back (thank God). I told him we have to go through marriage counseling if we want this to work. So we did. I not saying it wasn’t hard but that all happened within our first year of marriage and we have now been married for 16 years. Every year just gets better. I hope you guys can over come this trial and find the love that me and my husband have found. It can happen, but if you accept him back you cannot bring up the past. Communication is the key. Xoxo

  • AJ

    Tori, being a single mother is tough, I’ve been through it – my ex cheated on me in a very public and humiliating way. I was scared to be alone. I had two kids age 5 and almost 1. But, I respected myself enough to leave him and face the fear and uncertainty alone. I divorced him. It motivated me to change my life, I went to law school, met my current wonderful husband and had two more babies. My point is that some bad experiences can change your life for the better if you are brave enough to respect yourself enough. I could’ve stayed with him and he would have kept cheating on me. (He cheated on his next wife too). Men like that never change, especially when they know you won’t have the guts to leave. They do it because of something missing inside them – it has nothing to do with you. This is a pattern. Dean did this to his first wife, he’s now done it to you. You and your kids deserve better. What does this teach your daughters about how they deserve to be treated? Or your sons? Don’t wait til you’re 50 to finally leave. I know you think he’s the love of your life, but the real love of your life may still be out there – mine was. This may be the defining moment of your life. Or, you can stay with a man who disrespected you, who you can’t trust. Besides, “Tori Spelling single mom” sounds like a great reality program opportunity to me. Good luck.

  • Sarah M

    I finally had a chance to watch True Tori last night. I’ve been a big fan for a while now. I’ve enjoyed watching all the Tori & Dean episodes and have read all of your books. I felt so hurt and sad for you Tori. And upset with Dean for doing that TO you. There’s one key, he did it and I just hope you understand you didn’t deserve it. No one does. I’m glad to see he admitted to his problems, apologized to you and is working hard. Cheating and alcoholism are things that a couple can recover from… with A LOT of work and complete honesty. And if that is something they both want. I know, I’ve done it.
    Alcoholism is one of the toughest addictions to recover from. He’s probably just now beginning to feel a little normal and ready to work on life. I hope you are able to support him with that part of his treatment. Alcoholics need all the help they can get even if they won’t admit it.
    I can see that you are extremely stressed out and sad. I really hope you take some time for just you, and just let everything out. Keep nothing locked up because in the long run, it will come up if you dont let it out. That’s very important so you can be strong for your babies and for you to start feeling better.
    I don’t know what will happen with you and Dean, but I’m hoping you can work it all out. If you two aren’t able to work, I just hope you’re able to be very civil and kind to eachother for your children. Bitter parents are no good. Good luck and lots of hope to you two! : )
    Sarah ~ Albany, NY

  • Heather

    Tori, I am not sure if I made it clear in my comment earlier . . . But “shame on all of you who are saying mean and hurtful things” was meant for the readers of this blog who are posting mean-spirited comments. It was not addressed to you, Tori. Readers, show some respect for a fellow human being. And for yourselves. Mean comments like that show ugly hearts.

  • Marilyn

    Boo Hoo. You cheated, and you married a douche bag that cheated. The only victims here are your children, and the ex-spouses.

    • Cammy

      I also thought that when she married Dean she knew he cheated on his wife, and I think that was always in the back of her mind, that he might do the same to her. And I bet his ex-wife in Canada, is thinking, “I knew it…he did it to me, and I knew you’d be next…” Sad all around..and sad for Dean’s son with his ex-wife, who I believe had some kind of relationship with Tori and his half brothers and sisters.

  • Jessica

    First my heart breaks for you…I think being a celebrity makes people forget that you are human. Anyone who has ever been through such an ordeal knows what a toll it can physically and mentally take on you. My opinion some things should be kept private, I think publicizing it only leaves room for more judgement which you nor your children deserve especially during this time. I have to be honest, when your very first reality show came out I couldn’t wait to see, I have always been a fan, but after a few episodes I couldn’t watch anymore, something about Dean has always rubbed me the wrong way and I felt well if this is how he is on tv, I can only imagine behind the scenes, even watching this episode I just felt he wasn’t sincere. I don’t know the guy, but I wish you well. I’m sure you’ll work out your relationship and my opinions don’t matter but i definitely think therapy is a good idea he def has some demons, and being an opportunist just may be one of them. I really didn’t want to leave anything negative so I apologize, you wanted to know what we thought…just an FYI no mom is perfect everything we do is trial and error, you’re doing fine….deep breaths!

  • Nicole Remini Wiskow

    I wanted to cry the entire time watching as its such a painful thing to go through. I experienced it as well when my children were babies. It sucks! Im very familiar w/how reality shows work and its not always easy to do it and then to share this – its quite the journey. Continue to talk, share your feelings but always know, even if you worked it out by now, this was never about you.

    You know how you said “you were bamboozled, you saw the signs” Thats where you need to take responsibility for knowing and I mean really look at that – once I realized I needed to own that I didn’t do anything about what I “really” saw and knew before I married him- it was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders – I cant explain it – doesn’t give him license to act like a schmuck and dont you own his infidelity – its just a place to start forgiving yourself. Somehow when I looked at that – it released some pain for me – I dont know.

    Stay strong and communicate your feelings – don’t ever stay “secretly mad” I wish you all the best. Love yourself and know you are worth it.

  • Nicole

    You are such an amazing person tori! And my thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family! Stay strong mama!! ;)

  • sassy

    What a shame that Tori’s mother does not help her. She should be ashmed. Wether Tori’s wants help or not, her mother should try to ease some of this burden at this extremely hard time for her daughter.

  • carly

    love you Tori, I know you will get through this. I’ve been a huge fan for years and meeting you two years ago just really showed how nice you are. You’re an amazing mom!!

  • Susan Schram Svetich

    Hi Tory,
    I don’t know if you actually read these comments but I hope you do. I had the exact situation, am a wife and mother who came home after a weekend away with the kids to find my husband in our bed with another woman. It hurts, makes you question what you have done wrong and why you are not enough of a woman. I understand every comment you have made on your show. The most important, and helpful comment someone gave me in our road to saving our relationship is that you are a stronger person if you choose to stay in your marriage and family than if you walk away. It takes an inner strength that so many people choose not to have in order to save a marriage but it will be worth it. You are NOT WEAK for wanting to stay with your marriage and continue to have your husband and best friend. It takes time to regain trust and it is hard to do but can happen. You are so strong and will be able to create a new fairy tale with work and time. I am five years out and we have 4 beautiful children that I am so thankful for each and every day. The trust takes much longer to come than the forgiveness but don’t let ANYONE tell you that you are weak if you let your husband back into your life emotionally or intimately. You will know when the time is right. The first time we resumed our intimate relationship I cried afterwards and, I won’t lie, I thought of the other woman he had been with for those 2 days but with time we regained all aspects of our relationship and I know you will too. Good luck and please know there are a lot of people out there who empathize with you and are rooting for you. Stand strong and remind yourself every single day that you are NOT weak!! Take care and enjoy your family.

  • MrsSenquiz

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It takes courage to face each new day. You are an inspiration to many, keep your head up. <3 you and your family- from a working mother of 3 children

  • kelly3882

    Ms Tori
    Im so sorry. Thank you for sharing. Youre doing everyrhing as well as you know how
    Nothing can prepare you for this. Keep up the good (hard) work on those beautiful kids. You can do it. Please be sure to take care of you too. I think your friends have that taken care of…good to see
    AND As For the CAMERAS….I apologize for that..some people use their “freedom” of the press for the wrong reason…I dont believe it was created in order for me to see anyone during embarassing or hard times..so im sending support from youngstown ohio. You and the kids are in my prayers..even have a prayer for Dean
    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK…

  • Sabarbs

    I really liked it! Your story is relatable and real. Many people go through these struggles, but very few can attack them openly and honestly. I think the show will accomplish a few things… It will create group discussions with support and love, it will give people in similar situations ideas for how to tackle their own relationship problems, and it will help people look for signs of problems early on and hopefully address them. The critics should stop judging. The negativity is counterproductive and extremely high and mighty. I don’t care what your profession, love and support heals people, not criticism. I can’t imagine why any intelligent person would think that calling Tori names and making accusations of her motives for doing the show would accomplish anything other than showing how nasty you can be. I invite those who bring negativity to visit Dr. Wayne Dyers books and work on themselves. But I digress… I hope Tori continues sharing and communicating her story as long she feels that sharing helps her heal. I wish her the best!

  • Lisa LaFond

    Hi Tori, First off my heart goes out to you and your family. I know it’s not an easy time for any of you. I hope that you can find true forgiveness in your heart and begin the healing process so that you and your family can have a new start. As for your show about how you and Dean are dealing with his betrayal I figure we all deal in different ways and if you feel this is the path you need to take then that’s what you do. Don’t let people judge you. Follow your heart, be true to yourself. Take care. God bless you and your family. Sincerely Lisa LaFond

  • Cindy Beismann

    omg I went thru a lot of the same. after 18 yrs he had an affair and proposed to her. I forgave him to 3 months later he reestablished the affair. he lies a lot too.
    your friends need to support u and keep some of their thoughts to themselves; we are all different. u need support for any decision u make.
    when u r down, make goals for yourself. take baby steps to heal. take time to cry, deep down cry from the bottom of your heart. find feel good music to help those bad moments.
    figuring out the why will be the key to the future and prob the hardest to unlock and work on.
    trust will be your hardest to regain. I still don’t. that’s where time and counseling come in if u decide to work it out, tori it can be done, don’t let anyone tell u how to feel, act or esp what to do. I wish I was there to help u get thru this. u are a VERY special lady who deserves the best. remember that! cindy

  • mom in DC

    Tori, my husband cheated on me after 30 years of marriage. It hurts. It will always hurt. I had adult kids and they were devastated when they found out. They loved their dad… I tried to salvage my marriage, but it did not work. He married the woman. My youngest daughter killed herself 2 weeks later. So, yes, infidelity affects every member of the family. Take care of yourself, but please don’t stay married because you need help with the kids.

  • SG

    Going through something similar. So brave of you to speak out. It’s a true portrait of being with someone struggling with this addiction. As to the reference to your children, I think that one day they will see what a truly strong mother they have. They will see that love is worth fighting for, even if you lose the battle. Prayers and love for you.

  • Marcsmom

    Life throws the most horrible curve balls at times. Its up to us if we catch them or let them knock us over. You have had your fair share. You didn’t get knocked over in the past, don’t let this one knock you over either. Those children need you and you need them. If you smile, so will they. If you fall, so will they.

  • Tara

    Brene Brown wrote a book called “Daring Greatly.” One of my favorite quotes from her book is, “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.”

    Prayers for your sweet family as you walk this hard road together. Marriage is the richest, most beautiful, sacred covenant two people on earth can experience, but it isn’t without excruciating hardship over the course of a lifetime together. Prayers that you guys are made stronger and better and more whole through your marriage with one another.

  • Amy gray

    I just watched the episode and I cried. I have loved watching your journey before dean, through all your tv series and especially my fav… Your craft show! I understand how difficult being a mom is… But trying to deal with all of this on top is a spirit breaker. I am so glad you are attempting to set the record straight. I am so glad you see that your kids need you right now. I am hoping that for all of your sakes that a solution will come quickly and you will be back to the beautiful, funny, caring person you are. I support you and Even though I’m sure you’ll never read this… I am sending you positive vibes and prayers.

  • Jennifer Nichols Jondro

    Bless you and your babies. I have been through similar things and can’t imagine doing it in the public eye as you do. I hope it all works out for he very best for you and the children. There are so many of us that can relate to parenting and marriage. You are nor alone. So many are pulling for you and your family.

  • Denise

    Just watched your show tonight. I went thru this 3 years ago and knew this would be hard to watch, it is like reliving it all over again. My relationship with my husband did heal. It took a long time. I like you believed we were together for a reason and for life. You cannot let others influence you into what you feel deep down inside. Only you know your true self. I lost what were suppose to be my best friends over staying with my husband, but I felt like I knew what was best for me and my children in the long run. I has turned out to be the best experience I have ever endured. I learned so much about myself and my husband. I thought we were best friends before but We are even better friends now. It was the one part of life I never thought I would have to go thru and a hurt like nothing I have experienced before. It was a true test to life. A lesson in forgiveness, trust, love and boundaries. Lots of therapy and healing time for myself was needed. I couldn’t afford it but I could not afford to loose myself for the sake of my children and my sanity. I took a month and worked on me to be stronger to deal with my husband and his issues. I came back a stronger woman and mom and ultimately a wife willing to move ahead and heal. I had always though and said to myself if that ever happened to me I would leave. Well it did happen and I took a little break, but I didn’t leave. I chose to work and heal on what now I look at the best blessing in my life…my family. Stay strong Tori and let your heart and prayers guide you. Only you know what is best for you. It will all work out. It just takes a lot of time.

  • Mishel Perkins

    Just wondering why you choose not to show your 3 nannies on the show? It feels inauthentic and like you’re trying to hide something…

  • Dawnbol

    Surprised that your surprised. 7 years ago you were Emily. You lose them how you got them. This is not to be malicious either, I just can’t sympathize with someone that destroyed another woman’s household.

  • Interior design fan

    I am sorry for your entire family. I know you love Dean and he loves you but it is not enough. Unless you and Dean are accountable first to God it will be easier for adultery to rear it’s ugly head again. I would encourage you to seek help from The Lord. To pray with Dean and your children. I do not know how I would get through marriage, children and life without haveing Jesus as my closest friend and confident.
    Faith and family are a powerful combination. Though God’s grace we can forgive
    and be forgived. I have been blessed with 3 children , my youngest child was blinded at age 2 by terrorists in Iraq. He was shot in the head, blinded and disfigured.
    He is 11 years old and has the best attitude about life. He loves The Lord and knows that God loves him and has a purpose and plan for his life. God has a purpose and a plan for your life too. He loves you, Dean and your children. God has a hope for your future. We all our sinners saved by grace. Through this grace I have been forgiven. I hope only for the best for you and your family. I will continue praying for you.

  • Ada Velasquez

    I must admit…I was not a fan until I saw True Tori. I am not a celebrity or television personality….just an average woman who’s been there and done that. I feel as if you’re being brutally honest with us in this show, and maybe some people can’t relate because most of us make 1/10th of what you do income wise….but people are people and everyone wants to be loved and cherished. I feel for you Tori…you’re doing the best you can. My wise words are…if you love him, take him back…fix your marriage. My grown daughters have deep deep wounds stemming from the divorce their dad amd I went thru when they were 3 and 5 years old. In hindsight I should’ve done everything in my power to make that relationship work…for my beautifl daughters who have always deserved much more from life than what they got.
    Take him back…I think he loves you. Men are stupid sometimes.

  • inyyz

    As sad as this situation is, can you say karma? Tori stole Dean from his then wife, the lovely Mary Jo Eustace – they had a son and a newly adopted daughter. Feels pretty rotten, doesn’t it, Tori? Sorry, if you marry a cheater, you should expect him to cheat. I do feel badly for the children. They should not be trotted out for ratings. Some day in the not-too-distant future they will read all this trash on line.

  • Sarie

    Tori, focus on what you need and what is right for you. It doesn’t matter what your friends would do if it was their husband. Everyone will have an opinion, but in the end you have to do what you believe will work for you and Dean and the kids. It is also important for you to get to a therapist and have somewhere safe to talk about what you are feeling. If you can move through this and truly find forgiveness in your heart and choose to stay with Dean then that’s great. If you stay together but always have that feeling of betrayal and of wanting him to pay for it then move on. You will know what the right thing to do is with time. Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve what has been lost! Hang in there you have a lot of people that care!

  • Ingrid kress

    You nailed it! I happened to catch the show, for me, it was the epiphany of being the spoiled rich girl, judged, not by who you are inside, but what people want to see on the outside. Your failures bring joy, your triumphs, bring jealousy……all the while, your still someone’s little girl. I am a big fish in a little pond, you grew up as a big fish, in a fish bowl…..and somewhere deep down,that is really who we are…we want To be adored, to be loved….. But not in that way…..I honestly see you in a completely different light…..good for you Ms. Spelling….. You have touched someone who ordinarily would not care about you, but you did…..kudos!!!!!

    Ingrid

  • indiana

    Thank You for being transparent. Thank you for being strong and letting America into your home. It is not easy being transparent with telling the public what goes on in your life. It is empowering to see a celebrity become just a normal person in society who is going through the same thing as you.

    Keep your head up! FYI you’re am amazing parent don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

  • marie

    HeyTori, my heart goes out to you. I know you are strong and will get through this. One thing you stated worried me….about your heart racing. Just humour me and go to your doctor and get checked for Marfan’s Symdrome. I say this because we have it in our family. I just want you to be the healthiest and best that you can be and by getting checked may answer many of the problems I think you may have had to live with. Be kind, be patient and have faith, good thing happen to good people. You are one of them…

  • kittynmouse

    Tori my heart goes out to you in all you are going through. I have been just through the same in my life 18 months ago. My common law husband of 7yrs cheated on me. It happened over the last year of our life together. Apparently he did so with his ex wife before me and it was something they “allowed the other to do” so he thought it was something I would allow him to do. He did it behind my back and I found out. The last one was with what I thought was my best friend. And THEY are still together! She continued to try to be my so call bff to my face while she was sneaking around behind my back with him. I slammed the door on her and called her a home wrecking wh*re- she thought it was funny but one day, she will find out herself I am sure lol I confronted my ex and he told me he was an ex addict… I think that is a cop out! I think men who can not be faithful to their partner need to get help BEFORE they cheat around. Do they not know that its not just your life together they are hurting, its the kids, family members and even friends who hurt. I hurt for so long after I left and after almost 2 yrs apart I still hurt! I was told, “once a cheater, always a cheater!”…I can only say to you is to stay strong for those kids. Your friends will be your best support and lean on them when you need to. You are doing a good job! God bless!

  • DP

    Tori, after watching the first episode, my heart was broken for you and your children. There is so much I want to say, I don’t even know where to begin. I want to say I’m glad you put this on TV. This is real life, this is what happens when a husband cheats–not the movie version. I’m a married mom of two with a psych degree (although I’m not a therapist or even close to being one). Two things I strongly believe: 1. When you betray your spouse, you betray your children. When a husband hurts his wife and vice versa, the kids are affected. 2. Everyone should ask themselves this: “If being a spouse were your job, would you be fired?” We’re all going to mess up sometimes and hurt our loved ones, but when it becomes the norm and a pattern develops, that’s not good. One of the saddest parts of the show was seeing the kids when you were calling Dean. It looked like they missed him so much, and as a mom I put myself in your shoes and thought about how difficult it would be to be in your situation. I do want to say though, kids are resilient, and don’t stay with him just because you have children with him. There are lots of people who had parents that were married for 50 years and they find themselves on their fifth marriages. There are people who come from broken homes, and because of that they’ve learned the importance of a family unit, and they marry once. Only you can decide what’s right for your family, and I hope you’re able to make the decisions you need to make without worrying about judgements from others. But, I want to say, if you don’t take him back–your kids will be ok. They’ll be hurt, yes. They’ll be confused, but in the end THEY WILL BE OK. The other thing that I found very sad, was when you were talking with Dean, and you were afraid to say what you really felt because you didn’t want to upset him. It made me wonder what, if any, of his behaviors, have nurtured this feeling in you that makes you want to keep quiet. You deserve to be able to let your feelings out, and you deserve to be heard. Whatever the reason for you holding back, I hope you’re able to find it in you to let it out. I don’t want this to sound mean, and I’m afraid it will, but please don’t take it that way. You’ve probably already asked yourself this question, and you want the answer to be no. But I’m willing to bet, that this is not the first time Dean has cheated on you. Without a doubt, I believe he’s done this before.

    FOR DEAN:
    As I mentioned, I’m a married mom of two. After seeing this, I thought about how I would feel had my husband done what you did. How DARE you do this to your family?! I’m angry at you for her, and I feel like you feel that you deserve the anger from her and from your fans. I’ll say it again, when you cheated on your wife, you cheated on your kids. Now you can say you had a bad childhood and your sabotaging the good in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve it. But no matter what happened to you as a child, you’re an adult now and you and you alone are responsible for your decisions. Bottom line. I had a bad childhood, I have emotional scars that I struggle with everyday. But I’m not cheating on my husband, and blaming it on my mother/father. Dean, WHY are you making Tori and your children pay for your pain? That is what you’re doing–they’re paying. And, I think you’ve cheated on Tori before–if you say otherwise, you’re an FN liar. I think it is selfish of you that you asked to come home in that first episode. You know that you have a serious problem, and that it is going to take massive amounts of work to resolve, years worth of work. You’ve been given a precious gift and when you cheated on Tori, that was basically a F**K YOU to her AND your children. Pure selfishness, no more, no less. I won’t coddle you and tell you you’re not responsible for your behavior. One last thing: you should be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry, because your marriage is an example for your children. They’re learning how marriage works from you. Do you want a man to do this to Stella someday? No????!!! Well then you have to set the example of the kind of man she should choose. And you have to teach your boys how to be husbands–good ones–not like the one you’ve been. Yeah, I know, I’m beating up on you a lot–but I’m truly PISSED at you.

    I feel really mean after saying all this, but at the end of my tirade–Tori,I hope everything works out the way you need it to for your family. And If you decide to take Dean back, there will be a long road ahead of you guys but it’s not impossible- as long as he’s willing to do his part and work on his issues every day.

  • ChristineB

    Love Tori~think she is so talented, creative and beautiful. Feel so sad that she is having to go through such a difficult situation but think it is brave of her to share with the world (maybe it will help others in the same situation). Hope she is able to take time for herself and to take care of herself. Hope friends or family can help with the children (or a nanny) so she can focus on what is best for her. Good Luck Tori~we are all rooting for you to come through all of this stronger and with a great perspective on what makes you happy in life!

  • Kerri Esten

    Tori, I’ve watched all your reality shows and I feel like I know you and that we’re friends (even though we’ve never met). AS MY FRIEND, I want you to know I am so proud of you for putting your children and yourself first, and doing what’s right for you all.

  • justbereal

    It angers me that Tori was shown as a single mom, with hardships. She failed to allow the cameras to show the three nannies that she has as well as her personal assistant. I am a single mom and every morning/day/night is spent that way and I don’t have nannies and assistants. You should be ashamed Tori. You have no concept of reality. Your show is fake and full of lies and I feel sorry for your kids. Shameful!!!

  • Brandie

    I do fe

  • JNorene

    I also felt for you when I saw how stressful it is getting your kids ready in the morning by yourself. I only have two kids to get ready, and that is stressful enough. I have been through a very difficult time with my husband, and I pretty much stopped eating. I lost about 40 pounds over a very short period of time because of what I was going through. I noticed how incredibly thin you look, and hope that you take care of yourself first. You need to be healthy for you and your kids. One thing I know for sure is that there will be something good that comes out of your difficult situation. God will bring you through the storm. It will take time, but it will get better. Take it one day, hour or minute at a time, whatever you need to do to get through. Hang in there and God bless you and your family.

  • Brandie

    Trying again… I do feel for you Tori because that is any woman’s worst nightmare, especially having 4 kids. But as many others have posted did you think about the long term effects this might have on your children? Mommy aired our dirty laundry for the whole world to see that my dad is a deadbeat? Just questioning your motives… You are spinning and your world is literally falling apart but why do you want the world to see this? I can’t see any other motivation here besides the all mighty dollar, as much as you try and convince the public you want your side or story heard I’m not sure we are buying it. I would be mortified and angry and would want to deal with it privately, not in such an over the top publicity seeking fashion. And my question to you is also an old adage of “once a cheater always a cheater.” Have you ever heard of this saying before? What made you think that a person that cheated with you wouldn’t continue to cheat on you? And he is the father of your children I completely get that but the guy is a mess… He really looks like a complete and utter train wreck and you really want that around your children? You and the kids might just be better off without him in your life full time. And he probably has nothing but I would be taking him to the cleaners for child support and alimony for what he did to you. Any and all future earnings should be in your pocket, not his. He should seriously be banished from your life…

  • Cammy

    This was like seeing a car accident on the side of the road, I knew I shouldn’t watch, that it was painful to see, and yet I did, and then realized how awful it must have been for you and for me as well…

  • Frankie Garcia

    I appreciate your heartfelt honesty and vulnerability. You will be alright regardless of the outcome, but I hope it is what you want.

  • Amanda Bray

    Wow, I can see below that one really long catfight ensued from one really despicable comment. It is clear Colleen came to this site looking to insult you. :( I will say that I am 41, also from California, and have identified with you for some time now, as many I’m sure have. Perhaps it’s a generational/ gen x thing. ;) Unfortunately, I never found that guy like you did, and never had any little ones. I really think that Dean loves you. If that is truly the case, if he REALLY wants to be there, I think it can be worked out….if he is willing. What you have, some of us never will. I know some people want to punish you for past mistakes, but were you expected to stay with the wrong people? If you are with the right person, and he is committed to you, hang on. Not saying give him a free pass, but fully work though this to solve it if you can. Your real fans will be pulling for you. :)

  • northcut

    Tori , I have been exactly where you are right now . He was my soul mate . I have been married 4 times and just cannot let go of the love I have for him and this wasabout 28 yrs ago .I still dream about ,always on my mind .However no matter hpw much you love him once a cheater always a cheater .My husband tried to make it work several times we still love each other very much but he cannot stop the cheating .If you take Dean back I promise you he will do it again .Didnt he cheat on his first wife with you ?On the first show you basically said you need him back to help you with the kids . Please dont go that way .With him in the house there is going to be an uncomfortable ora .Hes not going to give your own space .Those kids are going to sense it . Not good .You seem to have a lot of support from friends . find one that is willing to help you out until you get in a good routine .Dean needs to see that you are strong enough and independant . Make him think you dont need him .I see that you love him deeply but sometimes thats just not enough .My love will be carried to my death but I am so much better off . I hope you get to feeling better and sincerely wish the best for you .

  • Nick

    Sorry to hear all the stress you are under. That was awful what your husband did to you and your family. I would not take him back. I just wonder why you would want to air your dirty laundry on TV? I wouldn’t want my kids to see that when they grow up. Sorry but I think you are wallowing self pity too much. There are a lot of single moms that do what you do everyday in their own. They don’t have the luxury or money to stay at home. They have to struggle and work full-time earning minimum wage and prob can’t afford to feed their kids at the end of the week. I don’t think there is such a thing as a soulmate. Right there using that term puts so many high expectations on your relationship that it is doomed to fail. I don’t think you should take him back. You’re a strong woman so stand up! It’s sad that you didn’t see the warning signs of his behaviour in the beginning. I hope you find your inner strength and kick him to the curb. You don’t need a husband to be happy in life

  • Madison

    Stay strong. You’re a beautiful person who deserves to be loved and appreciated.

  • Stacey Sparks

    I know that everyone is telling you to let Dean go, I would think that instead of saying “if my husband did that to me, I would leave” it should be” I’m here for you and will support your decision”. It’s so easy to say things, however until the shoe is on the other foot, you really can’t know how any of it feels.

    Very disappointed in Dean, I’ve watched your ‘lives” since the beginning and never never thought that he would hurt you like this. I’m pretty sure that the love is still there however he has destroyed the trust and that is harder to heal then the love.

    I wish you lots of hope and love, prays, for the years, months, weeks, hours, and minutes to come. Some will be easier than others, but know that there are true people out here in the world that only want the best for you.

    Suwanee Georgia

    PS: loved it when Liam told the photographer to go away when you went to the nail salon. LOL.

  • Stacey Sparks

    Hey guys this isn’t a battle blog, Try to remember that this a for Tori and not for your own battles against comments others say. Grow up people. Be the better person.

  • WTF

    WTF makes you perfect

  • H2theK

    Wow, such immature and negative comments. People fall in love, yes sometimes even when they are married to others. It’s not right, but it happens. I believe Tori and Dean are good people, both have made mistakes in their lives, AS WE ALL HAVE! It’s up to the two of them to decide if they are willing to try and make their marriage work. I truly believe that this situation can be overcome and that their marriage can be even stronger afterward. There is strength in forgiveness and change is always possible if one is open to it. Prayers for your family and I wish you all the best, no matter what the outcome.

  • WTF

    I was married for 20 years & was blindsided by infidelity. Unless you have been there you have no idea of the pain. Yes they were both wrong when they cheated on their spouse but the only one to blame is themselves..

    I spent the first couple of years in bed in my foreclosing home. He took everything of value including Harley, cars, trucks,

    I have spent 5 years in the mess with a passive aggressive narcissist who WILL not give mr my equalization, support, etc.

    I talk to total strangers about what I am going through. It is miserable. Your friends & family pull away after a while. People have no compassion for things that drag on & on.

    I wish that instead of being married to 20 years that the b@stard , he had shown his true colors years ago, I would have had a much easier time adjusting.

    It is hard to be in court with no legal representation fighting with a man who is making $100,000 plus a year when you are 60 years old. I have wanted to die more times than I can count. I have furbabies that are my life.

    Tori, I will say this , you need to divorce this man as soon as posible. It will not get better. You will end up hating him to the point you do not even want to be in the same room.

    Remember When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

    • {try to} b happy

      with all due respect, you have spent “the first couple of years in bed”? a couple of motor vehicles are “everything of value”? you spent 5 years and wonder why friends and family lost compassion?

  • PGHMOM

    I first have to say. I’ve watched and admired you since 90210 was my favorite show. Im not a reality show person, I do not keep up with headlines from tabloids. Celebrities are people and are owed the same respect and privacy as the rest of us. Unless you act like a real moron and its on film. Why they don’t want to take my picture is beyond me..lol:) I accidentally came across your show while finding nothing on TV. I had to watch. I get that you are afraid you will not “grow old” with your husband. When it showed you were visiting him for the first time and he was talking to you. “I did this to you, I did that to you”..You should’ve said “No Shit Dean”. He seemed so flip to me and almost as if he needed you to say it out loud so he could hear it from you. I just wasnt that impressed with his “I feel bad” moment. It not easy being a single parent. This hurt and pain…it takes awhile to not feel it completely. Every day it gets easier, and your heart gets lighter. I know all of this from experience. What I really want you to know is something that I’ve told my 24 yr old daughter in the past. You can NOT settle for LESS than you yourself are willing to give. Now you have to consider the fact that ultimately whatever you are willing to put with and he knows it, is going to happen. You and your kids are number one in this equation.

    • PGHMOM

      Plus I must add, sorry to see this other in a “different reality of common folk crap” down below. Ignorant and rude. You should probably have some cheesecake and a Starbucks after you read these. (works for me:) Have a great day. Wishes for Health and Happiness to you.

  • miaschnaebele

    I have always been a fan of hers and hated how she is called a poor little rich girl, ugly, fake, lazy, and too many other things to mention.This show should help others realize she’s human…She has her hands full as a mother, how being in the public eye can suck, it’s hard to deal with non stop criticism, and having any kind of a “normal” life is difficult. I hope things work out for her and she has the strength to keep going. This program shows how strong she is, her family comes first, she’s coping with this challenge to her marriage, and that she has to fight every day because people want to invade her privacy to make the cover of a stupid magazine. I don’t know how I’d react in this situation, but I’m glad she still has faith and is surrounded by family and true friends. I wish her good luck and hope things work out for the best. Good or bad it’s her life. LEAVE HER ALONE !!

  • TomorrowPerhaps

    I’ve not watched the show because I believe some things should be kept private. I do find it odd that this Emily person cannot be found. She supposedly sent a letter to the magazine, but failed to include any photos of she and Dean. Interesting.

  • http://www.casabelvaspata.weebly.com Christina Treviño

    Dear Tori,
    About a year ago while living in California (I am back in
    Toronto currently) I had a very detailed or rather lucid dream of you.
    You were very distressed at the current situation and you were
    pregnant…you called me to come and help with the children. I remember
    telling you that all this will come to pass but you had to find your way
    and trust in what was being shown to you. I offered to show you
    ways/tools on how to do this. There was much to the dream to write it
    all here and some has faded now. I wondered for a long time why I would
    have such a dream as I do not personally know you nor did I see anything
    at that time in the news about you and Dean having problems. I actually
    had several dreams/visions of public people while I lived in California
    and usually within days or sometime later a story would come out of
    more or less exactly what I had dreamnt about them. Possibly because I
    am an Intuitive and holistic practitioner and I was living nearby, I was
    tapping into the collective consciousness. Just days before I left
    California on Jan 1/14 I heard a quick news story of you and Dean and
    the beginning of this situation. Of course I was sad to hear this and
    remembered my dream. Yet felt this was going to be a great transition
    for you to find your own inner strength and self-sovereignty. Then last
    week I heard you are going to do another reality show. Interestingly, I
    was also going through a very challenging situation with my
    partner….somewhat different but definitely a pivotal point in my life
    to make changes and take my power back. I made a bold move to shift the
    current situation but the whole time I knew deep in my being it was the
    right thing to do and that higher perspective would carry me through it.
    Trust their is always a higher purpose revealing behind the current
    appearances. I watched your show last night and first I was floored that
    your kitchen looks the same as in my dream..so we definitely are
    connected on other levels…:)..but even more I was touched by your raw
    and genuine sharing of the situation. Going public with all this may
    get much criticism but what it told me is that by sharing your true
    story ..many will resonate with it….and some of us are proxies for
    others so that we can transcend our current challenges. You are never
    alone in your story and even if it helps one other couple or family you
    have provided a great service to humanity. I know this may be too
    metaphysical for some reading this and personally I would of preferred
    to be able to connect with you more personally but since I do not have
    this access, then it is required and perfect that the many can see it
    here. It appears this show is just recently taped and not so far ahead
    like many reality shows so therefore much of what is happening is still
    current. It was shown Dean returns home which he probably has already.
    If I can make a suggestion that if at any moment you feel overwhelmed by
    him being there please think about making arrangements for him to
    relocate to a nearby location because you can not regain
    self-responsibility, self-reliance or self-sovereignty when the eye-sore
    who has yet to heal himself and do the same if he is present in your
    environment. This was my greatest revelation and insight and now my
    partner is taking great initiative and is very motivated to regain his
    wholeness….and I am doing the same. Dean can be nearby and still help
    with the children but set boundaries for individual reflection, healing
    and insight. Harmoniously balanced relationships can only occur when
    each individual is whole. You are a magnificent being whose light shines
    brightly…it may appear dim to you at this time but know that what you
    do for yourself changes all those around you. Infinite love to you and
    Dean and your family.

  • SouthLaMom

    I am a single mother of one and CAN’T imagine your level of stress, patience and strength through all of this. Having one baby and a full time job wears me out daily (but full of joy at the same time, you know what I mean) and my heart sincerely goes out to you. seeing the show just broke my heart for you. Stay strong little lady.

    • SouthLaMom

      Also, I do agree with the ladies that have posted, do what is best for your children and having positive role models in their life is important. Your strength of intolerance of horrific behavior is better than having someone with complete disregard of your family and children in your home. I don’t care who it is. I am not with my child’s father because he is a terrible example of a good parent, partner, friend, companion etc…etc..also a cheater..a leopard does not lose his stripes, mainly at our age. I would not express to you what to do but going with your gut of what is right and what to expose your children to is usually the right decision.

  • Sarah

    Hey Tori, so sorry you are going through this. I really believe you both love each other but I think he’s got to put boundaries in place and figure out a way to make better choices. It’s part of being a mature man. He needs to put you and the kids first before his “wants”. Everyone has wants and desires but maturity means we don’t act on it and we put it in check. I hate the fact people are ranting about whether or not you are a good parent exposing your kids to this. The reality is, your kids are in the limelight away, there are tabloids out there saying much worse and if in the end you guys end up working through this, your kids will realize how much work a marriage is…and the downfall to cheating. You are a good mom- the love for your kids is obvious. And, it appears that Dean is a good father in respect to loving his kids. Being a great example- well Dean has work to do in this area. He is too blinded right now by what he thinks he deserves and this has zero to do with you. Trust me, you can’t be any prettier, smarter, give him more things, make him the best meals he’s ever had and still keep him if HE chooses to wander off. He’s obviously used to numbing himself with alcohol and using that and other things as an excuse. Whatever his pain is or his history growing up- it his cheating has zero to do with you- it has everything to do with how he makes decisions. Many couples get through this and are stronger, but the key is him making that decision to put hedges around his life in place. Just like an alcoholic learns to avoid temptation or even places that hint of it, someone who has cheated needs to do the same thing. Plus he has to understand fully what this has done to you. It is clear, at least in the first episode, that Dean is clueless on this. He recognizes that he has hurt you, but he doesn’t understand the depth or the consequences long term. He is still justifying it. You will know he has changed when he no longer justifies it and deplores his actions, he is fully aware of how much you hurt and will do anything to take that hurt away and he has an actual plan in place in how to handle temptation in the future. You must be able to fully forgive (which is not letting him off the hook but it is a choice to give him a clean slate to begin again). He must be an open book from now on and be 100% accountable- including having an accountability partner who is male and who will ask him the tough questions and check in with him. And, it may mean for him getting rid of his friends who have cheated in their lives, never drinking a sip again and never going clubbing or to the bars. Surely he can find better things to do with his time when he is bored, lonely or has urges to cheat. He needs to figure out what he can do instead of these things. In the past he has engaged in risk taking behavior with his motorcycle racing, etc. but part of growing up is assessing the risks, the consequences and taking very careful ones that will only enhance both your lives. I wish you nothing but the best….you seem wise enough to see through him wanting to come back before he has changed, you’re a great mom so keep your chin up and please ignore people who hate on you- they have NO idea your personal pain or how you really love Dean…even if it is that you loved who you thought he was, that love is strong. Whether you stick it out or divorce, it is a personal decision that only you and Dean can make. Take care of yourself first (eat healthy, give yourself plenty of time to get pampered and hire a nanny if you can just to give yourself a mental break from the kids)- then you will be a better mommy and in a better place to make decisions. It is scary you have been hospitalized and women have the tendency to stop eating or stop wanting to do anything to themselves when in so much pain…so force yourself to go through the motions even if you don’t yet feel like it.

  • mir

    i support you whole heartedly. I have never been a fan of airing one’s laundry, but I found your show to be honest and heart felt. All women that have ever been through something like this know how hard it is to break up with someone you truly love…but always remember it is better to be alone and happy, than miserable with someone that is not good for you. Be strong for your kids..Tori STRONG!!

  • soccermomva1

    I thought your brutal honesty talking about everything you are dealing with was very brave. I really got a sense of the tremendous challenge it must be to live your life in the public eye and being constantly hounded by paparazzi at your most vulnerable moments. It is admirable that you are trying very hard to work through your problems with Dean but you seem like a humble and down to earth person and such a great Mom – why hold onto a guy like that?? You deserve so much better.

  • KayCee

    I was cheated on two years ago so this story TRULY tugs at my heartstrings. I have struggled for two years (far too long) with anxiety and depression because of this nightmare. Well ladies I have officially got MY HAPPY BACK. The old KayCee is BACK! I just wanted to share with ya’ll what has worked for me….. Its called Thrive and my dear friend has literally saved me by giving me a months sample and told me to try it. This is what Thrive has done for me….I’ve gotten my happy back (absolutely priceless), I have energy that i didn’t know I was capable of, my TMJ jaw pain and shoulder pain is gone, I no longer have sugar cravings, I am regular (that’s right I poop everyday sometimes more than once, which is oddly great), I get a good nights sleep each night and lastly I’ve lost weight …I’m Thriving and it feels amazing!! Mkowens.le-vel. com

  • Jill

    Keep your head held high, Tori. You seem like an awesome mother and I am sure everything will work out for the best in the end.

  • Lindsay

    I really do not understand why people would come to Tori’s website to verbally bash her? Like things aren’t hard enough!? If Tori’s decisions to make this difficult time public, disgust you so much then don’t watch the show or follow her blogs etc… While most of us reading her website are fans, we do not know her personally, therefore we have ZERO right to judge her or how she is handling this situation. I for one, am grateful and think it’s incredibly brave that Tori allow the public/ her fans to witness all that’s going on. It makes perfect sense. Why let the public ridicule or speculate the truth when she can just air it out. It’s already being “aired out” with or without her reality show, at least people will see the truth and not made up/fabricated BS. Furthermore, from what I have seen on Tori’s shows and read in Tori’s books, I think she’s a great mom. It’s VERY obvious she is trying to protect her children from the harsh reality she herself is facing. Plain and simple, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

  • A Real Mom

    Try not being so self centered (Tori this, Tori that, EdiTORIAl). It’s not all about you. Put your kids and HUSBAND ahead of yourself. Wah Wah! I’m a single mom now. Welcome to reality! The real reality!

  • MDBoyle92

    It gets better.

    • Dan S

      LOL

  • Hesh

    Tori, it is sad to see you all washed up. You used to be a hot young thing, but 4 kids later you look like hell. Maybe its time to live life off camera.

  • Hesh

    Karma is also a biyatch, btw. You stole Dean from a marriage so I guess payback sux

  • Hesh

    Find a nice Jewish lawyer or doctor and settle down. For sure get out of the entertainment biz. You are NOT Aaron Spelling, so stop trying to fill his shoes.

  • Barb

    I was very moved with rawness of your show. Although this is a very difficult time for you, take comfort in knowing that this will help others and probably already has.

  • Been there

    It certainly doesn’t help to judge. I have been there and honestly my heart goes out to you. Some 12 years later, seeing you going through this takes me back to that truly hurtful time. Some similarities are that children were involved and I didn’t take (or have) the time to process my feelings, etc. Take care of yourself and your babies. They always know something big is going on but don’t always know what – just love them and let them know you, dad and they will be alright.

  • Ole lady

    Funny how some people think you’re terrible for being on a reality show, yet see no problem with your kids being subjected to the bile they spew via tabloids and nasty blog posts.
    NOBODY knows what really goes on inside a marriage except the two people in it. From what I’ve heard, (dangerous reasoning aside) is that the people who know you genuinely like you. You’re navigating this crazy world the best you can.
    The older you get, the less you’ll feel like you have to please people who are impossible to please. That part will get better. Until then, stay strong sista!

  • http://mymysticmama.com MysticMama

    shame on everyone that comes here to be petty = stupid!

  • Jean

    Wow, I am totally amazed at the comments on this page. This woman’s life has been in the spotlight since birth. Her life has been an open book from the get go. Every up and every down has been in the spotlight. None of us on this page will ever understand what that life is like. My heart aches for her and her children. Only Tori can decide if she wants her husband back. Myself personally, I would put a shock collar on my husband and every time I remembered his betrayal I would give it a zap, just a little reminder. Pretty sure that is illegal in most states though. So, again, only Tori can dig deep and decide if she can forgive and work on putting back together what he tore apart. Tori you are a great Mom, I wish you the best of luck.

  • epeach

    Tori, since you’ve known about Dean’s “patterns” for a long time, we can’t help but notice that choosing to subject your beautiful children to being on camera for even one day seems very self-serving> I’d really like to see you step back, take a deep breath and reassess how publicizing your drama, AND how Dean’s behavior is contributing to their precious mental health.

  • jesslin

    Tori:

    I just wanted to share this. At the end of the day Marriage is a covenant made. Its a promise. Your friends may have the great advice but true friends will let you make the decisions you need to make. It is your marriage not theirs. Yes they may feel as though they are looking out for you and trying to protect you but you have to choose if you want to fight or not. I commend you for wanting to make your marriage last. We live in a society where we would rather throw something away then fix it. Keep plugging forward and fighting for what you and Dean want. I leave you with the words from my husband and I’s mission statement.

    Love is not a place
    To come and go as we please
    It’s a house we answer in
    Then commit to never leave

    So lock the door behind you
    Throw away the key
    We’ll work it out together
    Let it bring us to our knees

    Love is a shelter in a raging storm
    Love is peace in the middle of a war
    And if we try to leave
    May God send angels to guard the door
    No, love is not a fight
    But it’s something worth fighting for

    To some love is a word
    That they can fall into
    But when they’re falling out
    Keeping that word is hard to do

    Love is a shelter in a raging storm
    Love is peace in the middle of a war
    And if we try to leave
    May God send angels to guard the door
    No, love is not a fight
    But it’s something worth fighting for

    Love will come to save us
    If we’ll only call
    He will ask nothing from us
    But demand we give our all

    Love is a shelter in a raging storm
    Love is peace in the middle of a war
    And if we try to leave
    May God send angels to guard the door
    No, love is not a fight
    But it’s something worth fighting for

    Yes, I will fight for you
    Would you fight for me?
    It’s worth fighting for,

    Read more: Warren Barfield – Love Is Not A Fight Lyrics | MetroLyrics

  • Trisha

    I think that you will look back one day and say, yeah, that was friggin’ rough but look at who I am today! I believe that sometimes, life nudges us to change something…and when we don’t listen..the nudge becomes a push. I am 5 years out of a divorce, a very sad divorce. My ex moved on way before I filed for divorce. Everyone deals with marriage trauma differently..and I tell you I am still struggling and sad some days. It sucks. Bad. But I have my two sons to take care of and concentrate on and they need at least ONE reasonable adult in their lives to make them NOT be victims of a divorced family. My older son moved to California a few months back after graduating college and getting a wonderful job. I drove him to the airport, holding back the tears, as I drove he turned to me and said–“Mom, I had a great childhood. A great life. My childhood couldn’t have been any better. You did a great job. The only thing that I would change (I held my breath at this one) was I wish you hadn’t gotten hit by the bus”. Then we hugged and he was off :) (I was hit by a bus while pregnant with my 2nd son. My husband said that was the reason the marriage ended for him). So, as you put on a tough face, a brave face, and cook, clean, do soccer, homework—after a while your body and mind starts to believe….everything is gonna be alright. :) God Bless.

  • Jen

    I’m here with you, Tori. I found out about my husband’s betrayal on my daughter’s 4th Birthday. I still don’t know which way is up. Somedays, I rally and want to save our marriage, other days it’s like it just happened and every cell in my body is furious. He’s in therapy now, and there are 100 excuses/explanations for why he did what he did. The one question no one seems to be answering is, ” Why would you risk me? How can you profess all this love now, but why was I so disposable in that moment?”. I’ve managed to keep it mostly under wraps. Only a couple of close friends know. I cannot imagine it being on a magazine cover. Chin up, you are a beautiful woman and an amazing Mom. I hope both of our paths lead out of this crappy place and we are happy again soon.

  • Denise

    Please get divorced from loser Dean. He is old enough to know that cheating is wrong. He cheated on his first wife… He cheated on you….and he will cheat again. I’ve been through this myself. Your kids will be better off and so will you. Life will be better. Get your dignity back and move on from this toxic man. His words are shallow and meaningless.

  • Elise

    Thank you Tori for showing your vulnerability on national TV. Ignore all the crazy people and focus on yourself. When I watched your show last week, I was rooting for you and hope you can find a way of this situation. Keep strong!

  • paris216

    I feel like you built the Tori Spelling brand and now you are trying to protect it by having Dean complete therapy while you play the poor single mother so that in the end you can redeem Dean’s reputation and your livelihood. You did not have to play this out on tv. This is a permanent record of your children’s father’s infidelity that they will not be able to escape. You could have chosen to handle this privately, especially considering that your own marriage grew from the same lies and infidelity. Turn it off Tori and take care of your family in private. Capitalizing on this terrible situation is sad, and it isn’t helping anyone else who is going through it. It is a sad attempt at retaining your business.

    For those who are bashing those of us who don’t agree with the way she is handling this situation, give it a rest. She asked for opinions, and not everyone is going to think she is brave for so blatantly exploiting a situation that she saw coming from the day she had an adulterous affair with another woman’s husband.

  • Christine

    Ignore the haters Tori. They get off on that. :) I am sorry you are going through this. I have BTDT. My only advice is that if you decide to leave make sure you leave with NO REGRETS. You are not ready to call it quits until you can say you did everything you could and you don’t have regrets. Hug your babies. {{{HUGS}}}

  • MegTay

    I found a clip online of Tori badmouthing Dean’s ex wife just after they got together and it really changed what I thought of Tori. I posted it on here but it wasn’t approved by Tori’s people and I’m guessing this won’t be either. Really made me change the way I looked at Tori. I wonder if she’s rethinking what she said about Mary Jo now.

  • Christine (Chrissi)

    Tori, I really feel for you and my heart breaks for any women who has had their marital bliss shattered by infidelity. Just stay focused on your family and block out all the outside noise…when your heart is ready, you will know what is best for you and your family and please don’t let fear determine your next steps. Stay strong!

  • Cinderelly

    I feel badly for the children caught up in this mess created by two adults long before this episode. Let’s not forget that both Tori and Dean cheated on their previous spouses in Canada while filming a movie together. You have to ask yourself if Dean was ok cheating with Tori, why would he not cheat on her with someone else? It’s sad that their are now FIVE children without any fatherly direction of how to behave in a relationship including his son from his previous marriage.

    • Kat

      Don’t forget Lola, the infant Dean and Mary Jo were in the process of adopting when Tori and Dean committed adulTori.

  • Rachel Porter

    I was heart sick when I saw the headline after the holiday! I have loved watching you and your adorable family grow throughout the past few years! You are an amazing lady and should be so proud of what a lovely person and wonderful mother you are! Ignore the haters best you can. If I were going rough this, honestly…I would ask myself, “Can I live with the fact that he cheated?” Then I would ask, “Can I live with the fact that he will most likely do it again?” If you stay, you have to live with it. So if you think you can live with it, then you have no option but to face the fact that it is a real possibility of reoccurance. I have two children under 4 and if it were me, I know that I could not live my life looking over my shoulder. You deserve better than that Tori.

  • J Clark

    Though I feel sympathy for Tori’s pain I do not think airing this on TV is a good idea for the kids…. the work she and her husband need to do to help the children and their marriage could’ve been done privately. However,I do think money is an issue so Im guessing she is trying to do the best she can with the situation- that is all any of us can do and even if you disagree with her choices under the circumstances, I do not understand the unkindness and hatred some people show.She has my wishes for peace and happiness for her family- For Dean, I wish for lots of therapy– he is screwed up.

  • Danni

    For someone who claims being a mommy is most important, why in the world would you subject your kids to this? Those kids are going to need therapy for years. Wait until they get older…their peers will make them laughing stocks.
    Shame on you. BTW, your monologue was scripted.

    • Charlie S

      #UNtrue Tori

  • Mspfuch

    Short and sweet…….you are BEAUTIFUL inside and out. Hang tough, as you always do, god speed in this crazy journey. Wishing you and your family all the best! <3

  • Dd

    I don’t Facebook or Twitter and have never written to a celebrity… Until now. When I used to watch to Tori and Dean, my niece would joke at how much my husband was like Dean, and how much I am like you. You were always working hard, responsible, thinking about what to do next to make life better, to prove yourself. And, there was Dean, theI joker – another kid, loving you but not taking care of you or understanding you. I have a mother like yours, so I get that part too. My dad passed away and that changed my life completely – so I get that too. We look for the soul mate, think we find him, then feel tricked. My husband’s affair was (is) with pills and cocaine. I don’t do drugs so I didn’t (don’t) get it. I don’t lie, so I believe – even when I should know better. A year and a half ago, there was a relapse. I got advice about setting boundaries and believing that it’s not a failure to give him another chance – as long as I protect myself and the children. It’s not easy but I shared the problem with the kids and told them the conditions for us to have a happy healthy life . Well, I’m still the serious one, organized, etc. but I’ve given up some control and he’s become more responsible and I feel less like I have to take care of everything. I have to tell you that things are better and I do love him even more today. It is a disease – whether it’s drugs, women, or gambling – the sabotage of a good life, the lying, the promises and disappointments… That’s their disease. But, we have a co-disease that sabotages our lives all by ourselves. We act and react in ways that make it so easy for people to hurt us. That co-dependent thing blinds us to the warning signs. So, we end up wondering how we landed in a place which makes uS feel abandoned and helpless. You are such a strong person to face the cameras… I can’t imagine what you are going through in that respect. Love your babies and don’t miss the moments with them. Be honest with your girls so they are not idealistic when it comes to romance. Make
    Them strong so they learn how to maintain a sense of self with or without a man, because truth is – no matter what your looks or background, or money, or education… Nothing is a guarantee in life and sometimes love is as painful as it is wonderful. Tori, so many people support you and respect you. Listen to only the positives – the rest doesn’t matter. You will probably never truly trust him, but if he can work with you to find a way … You can learn how to realistically accept and love life with him and the kids. If he can’t find his way, then you should proudly decide what would be best for you and the children. You will find your way , but keep your eyes open. Shalom.

  • Denise

    Cheaters lie & liars cheat! Dean will cheat again…he is a proven cheater. These type of men can have the most beautiful/sexiest/best lover in the world, but what this woman can never be is a “new” to their man. Tori…please divorce this loser after your final show airs. He has disgraced you and the kids and continues to ridicule you on national TV about your sex life. He is better off with you, but you and your kids are much better off without this toxic man under your roof 24/7. He can have visitation rights. Dean is old enough to know better than to cheat on his “soul mate?” Don’t waste your life on this man….there are better days ahead for you!

    • F Bueller

      Tori is a cheater, too.

      • Denise

        True, but I don’t think she would cheat again. Dean is a serial cheater and these type of men keep cheating.

  • Anageorgina

    I feel sorry for you and the kids. I know you’re a great mom and love your kids dearly. I think it would be better to deal with this matter privately. And not air it for the entire world to see. As you said it’s not black and white, but didnt you and Dean break up 2 marriages when you fell in love? I love watching all of your shows, but I say turn off the cameras and take care of your children.

  • Hbbeachgrl

    It’s karma coming back. Take time for your family off camera – do not put your family through this. They will have a hard enough time dealing with a broken family. Take care of you and the kids first.

  • JoEire

    You have a beautiful strong soul Tori. Fight off the negative energy. I am sending positive thoughts your way. X

  • Denise

    Tori- I truly admire you! Lets just start there. I sometimes feel as if I am you- but you are much more successful. I only dream- and you “do”. We could def be friends. I would love to, actually. Hang in there. I won’t judge you- you are doing nothing wrong. You are an awesome mom and know you are only trying to have a happy family- what all of us moms are trying to do!!! I have seen over the years how your love for dean is real and “true” and I would truly admire you if you can forgive him. I myself might not forgive but I think you two are a team and i am pulling for you!!! Not only for your relationship but just for YOU. YOU ARE STRONG – you will OVERCOME! And you will be STRONGER! No doubt. Love you and thinking of you.

  • Gold_you

    I think colleen needs a dick in a box. Someone sounds bitter for not having kids. I don’t even watch the show but saw this piece of vag posts and laughed my ass off. You don’t even have kids colleen! Who made you mother advocate of the year? Get your flaps popping and maybe you won’t be this clown you really think you are. You just made yourself a spectacle of sadness on this post and it’s not even about you. Get some ass girl and stop taking it out on other people. E!, Wendy williams, lifetime… girl…. get out the house and get some ass!

  • Vtartist

    Tori, my heart goes out to you. Your sharing on such a transparent level is worthy of respect. Only you can decide what is best for you, but as a woman who has experienced similar, take good care if yourself, respect yourself and your needs. I’m rooting for you, girl!

  • Miss Tera

    Omgoshhhh. I signed up just so I could say to you that I’m so sorry what you’ve had to endure and still are going through. You truly seem like a genuinely sweet and nice person, and I could see that you were trying to be so strong for yourself and your kids and it hurt my heart.

    I was in a marriage where my ex husband had a “nickname” also, and I didn’t like it. He was a different person and used this alias as a means to be and act in ways he normally wouldn’t… I thought I did every thing I could to make him see how much I loved him and I couldn’t understand why he kept doing the things he acknowledged that hurt me, and I too became afraid of confronting him for it. It’s a bad cycle and I finally figured out that it had nothing to do with me. Absolutely nothing. That was both liberating and terrifying at the same time. I realized there was nothing I could ever do or say to make him keep his promises and be the person he was supposed to be, or at the very least, capable of being…

    I sympathize with you and your situation. You are not alone in your suffering—And I also understand that only you alone can decide the fate of your marriage. I wish you wisdom and guidance and lots of love and support in this journey you have chosen to share. Xoxo

  • Brenda L Ibarra

    Tori,
    first let me say, that I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. I can
    empathize with you completely.

    I had a very similar incident with my husband several years ago and let me just tell you, nobody can decide for you what you should do with you’re life. This is you’re life, this is you’re family, this is you’re marriage. People are just that, they are people. They are imperfect, they make mistakes that hurt us, betray us, make us question ourselves. They are human beings. We are all capable of hurting those we love the very most. And to be able to forgive and move forward takes an enormous amount of strength. The easy answer would be to walk away for the sake of pride. But the truth is nobody can make that decision for you. And in the end you are the one that will be living with the long term consequences of your decision. Your children need a father even though he is imperfect. And something you pointed out is that this man is your best friend. Give it lots of time before you do anything that you cannot undo. Remember also, if I may, this girl while not forcing Dean to do anything most certainly set a trap for him to fall right into. She set him up, got what she wanted and then shopped the story. Dean is a man. And what I mean is that he is an imperfect man. We would all want our husbands to stop and think. We would all want
    our husbands to be too good and loving and loyal to betray our trust in them. I don’t care who it is, if the right set of circumstances came along for any person, no matter who they are, no matter their moral standing, they could make the same mistake that he did. He’s not in love with that girl. He clearly loves you very much. He adores you. He adores his family that he has created along side of you. That’s something everyone can see. Think long and hard. You’re future, not just you’re children’s future or his depends on it. One day you’re children will be grown and on their way living their lives and you will want you’re husband that you went through this life with by your side. If there is love, there can be forgiveness and a future better than you imagined it. And just one more thing, you’re children will make mistakes too. If they see their father making mistakes and their mother forgiving him and sticking it out they will learn that life is a lot more than cutting and running. Nobody gets through life unscathed. It’s always embarrassing and humiliating. It’s always difficult. Don’t let anybody tell you what to do and surround yourself with those that will support you, no matter what you decide because you are the one that has to live either with this man or without him, not them. I think you can figure out that I chose to stay with my husband. Here we are 29 years into our marriage
    and all of our children are grown and gone and I know every minute of every day that I did what was best for all of us but, in the end for me and him. The foundation we built our lives on was love and it’s still as strong as
    ever. Had my husband fell in love with the other woman I wouldn’t have even had the option to stay. But he didn’t. And rather than beat my husband up for his indiscretion I forgave him, we went forward and I never looked back. I remembered that I was stupid and unthinking once myself while married to my first husband when I was just eighteen. I remembered that in the end I loved my husband and that he loved me and that I wanted to be by his side the rest of my life. Imperfections and all.

    To Colleen, Shut up and go away. What a cruel thing to
    say to somebody in Tori’s place. Shame on you. If you don’t have anything
    supportive or encouraging to say then keep it to yourself.

  • Jey Momé

    Tori is a sweetheart and a hard worker, even as a teenager. She deserves love and a happy life. When you had a mother who wasn’t affectionate, rarely touched you, never said I love you and dad who was always working, no matter how much “stuff” you’ve got, you make choices to make up for that lost love later on, but those beautiful children are worth all the pain in the world. Go girl, get your paycheck from the pain, helping some of us who lost out on love early on and made the same mistakes with men along the way! All is well, you will heal in time, with our without Dean as your partner. Make sure to have a good support system and try meditation or go to Agape in Culver City, it will do wonders for ya!

  • ulrika stjärna

    Dear Tori

    I´m from Sweden and have been following your travek sins december , when your husband did cheat on you , i also have 4 children and a marriage that was broken because of the same issue that you are dealing with , i tried to live with my husband , just for the children’s well being and because i believed in life long merriage , but i forgot about my well being and that made me not a good mother or a happy mother , even the children started to feel bad, they know more than you ever can imagine.

    Now i have i wonderful husband and 2 more kids and the thing that we have decided is that we are going to respect one another and talk about the feelings and we have talked about the sex issue and both of us want to have sex but with four kids it´s tuff to find the time , but we both want it and we talk about the cravings we have and together we solves that , that is what merrige is about , communications and respect , If your husband misses sex WHY did he not talk to you about it instead of taking out his frustration on a sheep slut, he has broken your trust for him , he has broken a family with 4 kids , he has broken the respect for the mother of his 4 kids , he is in my eyes not a real man or husband or a dad, i can not understand how he can risk all of his life with you and his kids just because he wishes to have sex , he lives in a fantasy world to me and don´t deserve your love or concern. Once a sheeter always a sheeter.

    I´m thankful of you, that you show the world that you are as human as i am with your family problems ,that almost every couple have , even big stars have the problem and i will thank you for having the power to keep continue with it .

    I´m sending you a lot of power hugs and remember it´s tuff for you now and and for a long time forward , it´s hard to start trusting again and its tuff to let yourself be vulnerable again.

  • momof2

    Tori , I sat watching your story only to think that I was in the same position, I had two children 17months a part at the time of catching my husband cheating. I never thought in a million years after having two beautiful babies he would ever hurt us that bad. I felt allot like you mixed feelings and missed him my husband also checked in to a rehab I am not sure why , he was not a drinker nor did he do drugs but now that i look back it was to run from his problems and have a excuse for his betrayal bottom line he is a cheater and always will be a cheater at the time my emotions were like a roller coaster, I felt bad for him , I felt bad for my children and I truly believed he made a mistake , But the true reason is that he got caught and needed to have a cover up so i took him back because i believed he would never do it again at first all was good and then boom back to the same behavior, I would wake up in the morning thinking how am I going to make it through the day with two babies on my own , I would puke every morning and be sick to my stomach , i would pray to god please make me strong and have patience and focus on my babies . My routine changed I need routine sticker charts ect to get my children use to it being just us . I ask my self every day still after being divorced why , why would he do this . I look at him and he is a stranger in my eyes now , but part of me so wishes we were a family , but that can never happen i can never trust him and it would not be healthy for myself or my children. I hope you take the time to really think about it its so hard and i totally feel for you . Keep your head high and focus on those babies. Stay strong … I know its hard .

  • Tabitha

    My husband and me separated last year and we have a three year old together. We had problems similar to yours. We got back together January of this year. It is very had. I still have trust issues and when I have moment myself I think about what happened. I am still learning how to deal and trying to make it work. All I can say is follow what is left of your heart. Maybe we both can help each other on this journey.

  • Sharon Akin Clevenger

    Tori, Thank you for being so brave and opening up your personal battle with the world. Millions of women are facing the same situation and I know someone is watching and learning how to be brave like you. I support you and your efforts to try and overcome this very difficult challenge. And I fully support you trying to forgive Dean. This does NOT make you a weak person. I pray you and Dean can get back to the life you so enjoyed. Please don’t let all these ugly comments discourage your self esteem. This is NOT your fault, it is NOT about you, it’s about Dean and his demons. Thank you again for sharing and being so courageous.

  • Jessica Marley

    I have been a fan since 90210, and have always enjoyed your shows! Hang in there! I love the two of you together, but was shocked by his actions.
    It will all work out, just be strong!

  • mar20ion

    so sad to see this, you are wonderful and should take care of you, it is the way to be better for your kids. You are a great mom and person, whatever happens with Dean, up to you. You first need to get yourself well, healthy and strong!

  • TinaBean

    When you were sitting on the couch with Dean at therapy, and he kept sayin “I cheated on you. I cheated on you.” That was really hard to watch. You sat there so sad. I think he wanted you to “be mad” or “get angry” about it and you just sat there….sad. I get why it was hard to say, cuz you NEVER wanted to say it or admit it! I hate that he said it so EASILY. I seriously wanted to slap him upside his head and say, “Dummy! I know what YOU DID. Stop saying it!” Seemed kinda heartless.

  • chrissy

    I’m not a big reality show watcher, but I over the years I have fallen in love with you and your family, and I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I think it is brave to show it in such a public way. It is real and what real people go through everyday and do it feeling alone and isolated no matter how many people try to comfort them it’s just not the same unless they are going through it too. I was cheated on in my first marriage, and know the pain, hurt, and confusion it causes. As you struggle to find balance in your family and figure out if & how to forgive and move forward without living in the past know that you have support, and also that your example will help other women out there going through the same thing. And despite what they keep saying on the View it is not a train wreck, but an honest part of life that a lot of people go through it may not be pretty but it is real. My marriage didn’t work out for many reasons besides the affair, but I do believe it is not a deal breaker and that if both parties are willing to grow and move forward that a marriage can be made stronger and more secure. I am rooting for you and your famliy.

  • Sherry

    Sweet Tori. You shouldn’t have opened this up for discussion. Most of the posts are people arguing with each other. You don’t need that. You and your family are in my prayers. You can heal a broken marriage. Love is all you need.

  • Carole Locklear

    Tori….I watched you and my heart broke …Know that there are mom’s like me out there on your side,crying along with you.Be strong..peace and love..

  • Judy Sondergaard

    Tori, as my Daddy would say, “Your chickens WILL come home to roost.” I’m not trying to be mean, and I have had a few houses full of chickens. I know your heart is broken, but you just need to put on your big girl panties, forgive Dean, and put it behind you. Needless to say, if it happens again, kick his ass to the curb. I am 67 yrs old, and my late husband loved the women. I stayed because I knew I would never be happy without him. No, I had no pride, and he was good to me. This is something each woman must do…..decide what makes you happiest.

  • Melany Stewart

    I think you are brave to tell your story. Regardless of what people say ” that you are only doing it for media attention etc..” The facts remain PEOPLE, Tori DID grow up in Hollywood , her life IS an open book. HER stories truthful or NOT will sell tabloids! Why not have her own show? Tell her truth? Tori is ABSOLUTELY a very very hard worker and a hands on mom. Cheating , scandal go on in “regular homes ” daily? What do you mean what kind of lesson is she teaching her kids? Tori’s family goes thru the same stuff we all do , only hers is judged in front of all of us! Who are we to judge? Tori you kick ass ! Keep going , much love

  • Lizzymama6

    We are all adults here and some of us have been through similar situations. Don’t be petty. If you don’t like Tori putting her life on TV then don’t watch it. I remember going through so many of the feelings Tori is going through. Things took a long time to heal but eventually did. Go with your heart Tori, Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.
    HUGS.

  • Debbie

    No matter what opinions are shared, you are with a real life issue. I can only imagine being a celebrity makes you feel even more pressured to handle things how the world believes you should handle it. But this is your life, not the worlds. I have no doubt that you still love your husband. You don,t just turn that off. I say follow what your heart tells you. It’s easy looking from the outside in for someone to say the marriage would be over. Ultimately I believe, in time, you should forgive your husband. Not for him, for you.

  • Cindy

    I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family. An affair by a spouse is unfortunately life changing for the entire family. Take time to do something good for you every day, even simple things. Also take your time in making decisions. You have all the time in the world. Surround yourself with those who love and support you. When an affair from my prior spouse happened I got down to a size 3. Because its heart breaking for you and your children. Its takes time to heal. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.

  • Sharon

    I will say a prayer for your family. Just don’t make a decision based on what others will say or think. Your decisions need to be based on your family and you. Then OWN YOUR DECISION!! Right or wrong. If you need to Change your mind that is ok too. Give yourself the understanding that you just like everyone else we are human and are not perfect.

  • kimmyjospokane

    I truly feel like your pain. My husband had and is still having an affair with my stepsister. We have been married for 16 years and have been separated for only 4 months now. The pain is so raw but I must say watching the show allows me to see that I am not the only one dealing with this devastation and fives me strength. Thank you for sharing. I wish everyone peace and happiness.

  • Vmahogany

    You’re brave. A very brave woman Tori. Being vulnerable and honest is not easy. I commend you on taking that leap of faith. May you find peace and happiness.

  • Evey

    I’m feeling a lack of authenticity in the story and timing. Just not adding up. Then I have to remind myself that it is a business. Sigh.

  • Meg0674

    There are no words that can begin to describe what a broken heart feels like but watching you tonight gave the best and most realistic visual description of a person devastated by betrayal . Your program also showed your strength and your love for your children which was heart warming and inspiring. For all it is worth you are helping so many people by sharing your story and like most of the women my age ( our age ; ) ) that grew up watching your shows and reading your books we are all here supporting you and sending you love . Continue to be brave and when you need some faith remember there is a whole generation of 40 ish year old women who have your back and will grow from your story .

  • Katie

    You are terrific Tori. Hang in there!

  • UNEEDSELFESTEEM

    Tori – Not sure what episode this is as I have never watched your show before… you’re with Dean in rehab. It kills me to see you get walked on, lied to, manipulated. You are every cheating/lying guys dream… you simply are too weak to act on what you really feel. If you wern’t so weak and co-dependant, you’d tell him to kiss your ass and you’d file for divorce. If you need help hire a nanny. If you want to get cheated on again, forgive Dean and ignore the facts and reality. You are a text book co-dependant, get yourself some help. You’re friend gave you the best advice ever in the fabric store. She said if that had happened to her, she’d be gone, no questions asked. Trust yourself, it’s that easy. It starts with you expecting better for yourself…you need to know you deserve better. Watching you with your kids warms my heart… Dean is a douche, and you need to grow up. Be strong kiddo, nobody said it would be easy. I’m sure there is plenty of money to go around and you’ll figure out what to do with the kids…Actually, that’s your next reality show, Tori and her Fantastic Four. Dean can go and cook some bananas flambay for some Canadian bimbo and you get yourself some help and let the kids visit their dad every weekend. They’ll grow up and develop their own relationship with him and have more respect for you inthe long run. Don’t be a fool, your kids deserve a better example from their mother.

  • Julie

    My heart goes out to you and Dean. Stay strong believe in your family and follow your hearts. Your true love shines everyday in the four beautiful children you share.

  • Carson Barrett

    As much as I enjoy seeing into your life and the lives of your family, my heart goes out to you during this time. I have gone through this very thing and come through it with husband by my side. I of course did not have the vermin that are paparazzi examining every possible thing in my life just waiting for you to screw up or have something catastrophic happen. I pray for your continued happiness and that you will make it through to the other side of this hard time. God Bless

  • Sarah Darst

    You are amazing! Didn’t think you could get more real, I was wrong. I hope you are able to take some time to take care of you. You deserve and need the time to keep yourself at your healthiest. Keep being you.

  • Juli Adams

    Tori – you are my hero – you are an amazing woman. You are so honest and refreshing and you are a good mom, don’t listen to those who haven’t been in your shoes. You could be my friend any day of the week. My heart goes out to you. I have always loved you and Dean as a team, for years i have smiled when i watch you guys together. I hope for you the best, no matter what that may be. You fill me with awe … rooting for you in St. Louis, MO

  • TB

    Tori, I am not one for reality TV, I too am a mom so If it’s not on Disney, Sprout or Nick I won’t see it.. During this past weekend I was cooking in the kitchen, while flipping through the TV I came across you.. Something made me stop and watch, was it the look on your face, the sadness, the hurt inside while all along being the best mom you can be, thinking only of your babies.. I was not sure, but as I continued to watch I saw something in you so much so that I needed to find out when you would be on next.. So tonight as it is way past my bedtime I stayed up to watch the 2nd episode.. And there it is, the reason, the familiar look in your face that made me continue watching.. As it was revealed tonight by your husband he had a breakdown with thoughts of wanting to end his life along with addiction.. I want to say a few things to you, this does not define you, it is not who you are… however it is something that has happened to you & your family. Your husband has some very serious issues.. Addiction & depression is a sickness, my approach to my own experience was this.. My spouse too was in the hospital and shared the same thoughts as your husband described. I was very angry, hurt, confused and closed.. I did not blame my spouse for his sickness, I did however hold him accountable for what would happen next. I explained to him that I am not his mother I am his wife.. If he chooses to get help then I will support him, depression is a medical condition that needs to be cared for the same way as if you were treating heart disease or any other medical issues. If he chose not to get help then I chose not to continue living with him under those circumstances, for me it was very black & white. I had the kids and myself to think about.. What message was I sending my kids if I chose to stay in a very unhealthy situation, I did not want that life style for me or my kids.. Well as you can imagine my husband like yours wanted to come home, he stayed upstairs.. It was a very slow process.. I will tell you that my husband went to his appointments twice a week.. Things started to improve, I gained back a little (very little ) respect for him.. Also as you mentioned this was not our first rodeo in dealing with his issues.. Like yourself I did not trust that it would not happen again.. I took baby steps, kept letting him do the work he needed to do, we supported him.. After some time we started as friends, 4 years later I can say I have my husband back.. He still works on himself, he is in a much better place, he like your husband was finally able to deal with his past, self loathing, depression and addiction.. I want you to know that if your husband truly wants to make himself healthy he can.. And if you decide to support him because that is a healthy choice for you and the kids then I think that’s great.. I think you both deserve to be happy, much work is needed, it’s going to be hard… That being said keep your eye on the ball Tori, use your WORDS, be open and honest, your not a babysitter for your husband, your his wife. He is going to have to find his way back to you through proof of the work he is doing.. Your a very sweet person, stay true to you and your babies!!! Thoughts are with you!!!

  • Mom3boys

    Tori, I NEVER comment on stuff like this, I have never commented on any blog, I don’t have twitter, I usually only watch food network and So you think you can dance.I actually came across your show because my husband is on a business trip and I can’t sleep, so I was flipping channels. I hope you step back and watch your show again. When your therapist says that it is time for you to be able to share how all this affected you and your kids, Dean completely turns it to him. This is VERY disturbing! He made his choice and in no way should he turn it into a woes me….. This is manipulation, not love. I have unfortunately seen this from a very good friend and I watched him manipulate her good loving kind heart to give him a second chance only to one year later completely tear her apart by doing it again and revealing it never really stopped. I want to say I am FOR marriage, which is work, compromise and above all Love that is sacrificial! But this is one of those