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documenTORI: My Last Morning as a Pregnant Woman

 


Now that we were officially on our “
Baby-Cation”, we were getting closer and closer to welcoming Finn into our family.  The morning of Finn’s arrival (we had a scheduled C-section, so we knew exactly when we’d meet our littlest one) I had a million thoughts and feelings running through my head.  While I was super excited to welcome our newest babe into the family, I was totally caught off-guard by how sad I was that this would be my last morning EVER as a pregnant woman.

With Liam & Stella, I knew after each pregnancy that Dean and I wanted to have more kids. Although I was sad when those pregnancies ended (It may be weird, but I LOVE being pregnant), I knew that we’d eventually have more kids.  When we had Hattie, we thought that we probably wanted one more babe, if we were lucky enough to be blessed with one, so I held out hope that I would get to wear my bump proud one more time. 

But with Finn, both Dean and I knew that this was probably it for us in the baby-making department.  Since Finn’s pregnancy was so difficult and dangerous, we knew that if we could make it through this one and make it to the finish line with a happy and healthy baby, that our family would be complete. So there was a sense of sadness when I woke up on the morning of Finn’s big arrival, because I knew that this was the last time that I would ever have one of my sweet babes in my belly.

Now don’t get me wrong… I was SO excited to meet baby, and was so proud that we had made it to the finish line together… I just wanted to keep him in my belly a little longer!

How did you feel when your last pregnancy was over? Were you sad that this was the last time you’d be a pregger? Or did you feel relieved?

Love,

T

  • Tracy Martinez

    Tori, your so not weird! I loved being pregnant with my 2 as well and would most likely have more, if money wasn’t a factor.. Your babies are so adorable and you are truly blessed!!

  • Lemon Meringue

    Everything that you say in this video I can sooooooo relate to! Especially the ‘never alone’ part. I think it’s sweet and caring what the guys are saying that they are around you and the other kids are, but I am totally on your side on this one. They approach the subject as a physical thing, but to me it is more an emotional or maybe even spiritual thing: you have to hearts beating in one body. And you know what a heart can do, feel, give and receive, so double that amount and you know how powerfull that feeling is, it’s superspecial being pregnant. I don’t think that’s weird at all, or maybe it takes one to know one ;) I was a bit sad either when I knew the baby was coming (after my water broke in my bed!). We decided that in our heart (see, another heart-thing)there would be room enough for another five babies, but in our car and to be honest in our wallet, three was the limit. Our second child was a miracle baby so we thought we already took quite a risk by going for #3. Luckily he was in blooming health, but why defy fate another time?
    Thanks T for this moving topic.

  • Olivia Torres

    Hi Tori! My Livi turns 1 month today! I was honestly so miserable by the end of my pregnancy that I was so relieved to get it over with. It isn’t till now that I miss having my munchkin inside of my belly. You have a wonderful family and I love you guys!

  • rae f

    i felt the same way after having my fourth…. not quite ready to say goodbye to the baby making stage of my life & i don’t enjoy being pregnant! so sweet to see your fam bam. thanks for sharing! xo

  • Ann Crook

    Although my pregnancies were both extremely high risk, and a bit scary, I also loved being pregnant. I remember when I had my daughter, who was premature, I was sad because having her early meant I was going to miss an ultrasound that was scheduled for the next week. LOL. I was totally bummed about it. My husband thought I was crazy….He was like “but you have the baby here, why on earth would you care about missing an ultrasound?”. But the ultrasounds were exciting to me…kind of like Christmas Eve or Christimas morning before you take the wrapping paper off.

  • Renatta Doerksen

    Tori, I totally relate to your feelings of sadness for not being pregnant again. I loved my three pregnancies and was excited to see my last baby, but sad too because I knew it was my last. I loved feeling my baby move inside me. It is just a miracle. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up having a fifth!?

  • Amy-Renee King

    My last pregnancy was 17 years ago. I miss being pregnant all the time. You are definitely not the only one! I had my son when I was 23, but because of a severe lung disease and a hard pregnancy the doctors decided that it would be best to tie my tubes up and stop the baby factory. Which, for a while was okay. Sort-of. I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I think from the day I understood the word “mother”. Being a mother has been the best (and sometimes the scariest and hardest) thing I have ever done and I have loved every single second of it. Even now, when I look at my 6’3″ teenager manchild looming over me all I can think of is “that’s MY baby!” He’s amazing and I am very lucky. But I want another baby! Two more would be amazing. My lungs are healthier now and I have an AMAZING husband now and the doctors have said I could get a tubal reversal and work on more babies, but that is expensive. Last week I turned forty, which wasn’t bad, except all I could think about was all those “deadlines” and “biological clocks ticking” telling me that it was the “end” of my wish to have another baby. It’s sad. Every one of these last 17 years I have held steady to the thought that I *could* have another baby, one day. The sadness of the potential of the “end” was tremendous. So, you are not alone. I love being pregnant. I love being a mother. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
    P.S.
    My husband always has to remind me that you and I are not *actually* friends. It’s hilarious!

  • MABS

    Tori, I love that share your experiences with us! I only have my one child and immediately upon having her was SO READY for more babies!!! I think I’ll be sad when I know that there are no more babies in my future, too.

  • Laura

    I loved bieng pregnant.. but I had two big babies 9.1 daughter an 9.3 son..an was afraid of how big they would get an my marriage was going south.. but I wish I had not had my tubes tied an would of been able to have more….Love you T you are a great mom a great actress an I have always loved you since Love boat hehe..dating myself haha.. Love your whole family including all your support family.. miss your show emensly…Love an hugs to you Laura Wellner

  • Katie

    I felt exactly the same mix of emotions at the end of my pregnancy with my fourth 4 months ago. I knew that 4 was enough and I had 2 boys and 2 girls so I felt complete but, there was still a sense of sadness knowing that was the last of the pregnancy stage of my life. I delivered each of my pregnancies earlier than the one before it and with number 4 I delivered at 35 weeks and she spent a week in the NICU as a tiny preemie. The fact that each pregnancy was earlier told me that my body was done now and this last experience scared me enough to know that this was the last pregnancy for me because I don’t want to put another baby at risk of being born too early. Maybe this last scary experience for you was your body’s way of letting you know 4 is enough also. We are both very blessed and fortunate to have 4 beautiful children and families. Take care of yourself, your family needs you:)

  • Chela

    I loved being preggos but in my last pregnancy the last month of it I was so tired.I have two other boys under the age of 5.but the morning of my scheduled c- section I was so nervous and sad too.because I knew I wasn’t going to have that experience any more.I loved the feeling feeling when he moved and kick.but I had my tubes tied because it’s too expencive to have too many kids.now my baby is 8 months old and I’m the happiest woman :-)
    I Love my life and my 3 beautiful boys.

  • Shannon Mathias

    I just had my first baby August last year, and I was so sad to have him out of my belly! It’s such a great and unique experience bringing life into this world. I was miserable when I was pregnant as I had some complications, but I loved being pregnant still. Totally agree with you on the feeling alone thing! The best times being pregnant for me would be when I was laying on couch by myself and I would just enjoy feeling him move knowing you were never alone. Motherhood is an awesome journey and I am trying to enjoy every step of it. That’s how I look at it. Definitely want more babies!

  • Lisa Mosley

    Both my girls were surprises, the boys I had a hard time concieving. There are 5 years Between my first girl Stephanie and my first boy Kyle. Then there are 6 years between Kyle and my next boy Jacob, and there are 2 years between Jacob and my last daughter Abbey. We were done our family was complete or so we though. My son Jacob we unfortunately lost to leukemia when he was 7 and after careful consideration not to replace him at all but because it just felt right my husband had a vasectomy reversal, with the thought that we would have 2 more children, but after 4 miscarriages we finally concieved again with another boy Benjamin and there are 9 years between my daughter Abbey and Benjamin. He was hard to get pregnant with, my pregnancy was hard and he was born a preemie so I knew in my heart he would be last. I think though that its very hard when you know your done, it was sad for me to know he’d be my last pregnancy and my last to breastfeed. 22 years between my first and last. Funny story though while we were trying to concieve him my oldest daughter actually got pregnant and had my first grand daughter 5 months prior to his birth and I actually had her with me when I went into labor. My husband toted her in, in her carseat and the nurse is taking all my info and asked how old she was he said 5 months and she looked back and forth between me and her and confused until my husband explained. You never know what Gods plan is for your family I certainly never expected this, but I am so blessed. Enjoy those kids and try not to blink because when you do they tend to grow up on you.

  • Dar

    You’re not a weirdo at all!!! I feel the same exact way. I LOVE being pregnant, I love feeling like someone is always with me, and like I’m doing the most important job ever-growing a human being! After my second child, my husband begged me to let him get a vasectomy and I begged for 1 more. So after my third baby, I relented and let him do it. But now I feel this profound sadness that I’ll never be pregnant again. I’m also 39, so time would not be on my side anyway. Its hard to accept that that part of my life is over. But I’m blessed to have 3 amazing babies whom I adore, and am so grateful for the experience of carrying and birthing them!

  • RockandFinsmom

    So funny you posted this today. Just last night I had this conversation with my hubby. We had our second baby almost a year ago and decided she would be our last. We have a boy and a girl and I feel so blessed to have 1 of each. However the finality of it all being over is a very empty feeling. And it seems like everyone (including my husband) doesn’t understand how someone like me who complained my entire pregnancy can now feel so sad at the thought of those days being over. The truth is, I hated being pregnant, especially from month 7 on. I’m a tiny person who makes huge babies and so my pregnancies were hard on my body. I never got that pregnancy glow with perfect skin and hair. I had the opposite happen, I got a rash all over my body that lasted 9 months and my hair kept falling out. And then after all that I labor 30 hours and get per-eclampsia during labor which then leads to c-sec. So yea, I get why people don’t get why I’m sad that is all over. But…. After all that there is a day or two or three that you sit there in a hospital room looking at this perfect little thing that you and your partner created together all by yourself (with God’s help of course). But it was the first time in my life I sat there and realized this is all me and and my husband. My parents aren’t going to come and take over. And there was such a spiritual connection that happens those few days in the hospital between three people and that right there makes you forget everything else! All the pain is gone and all the bad memories are wiped away and the only thing I can see is my perfect boy and then girl.
    So yes, as adults we have to make grown up decisions for the better of us and our families. And I think the hardest one for me was to decide on permanently ending our baby making years. It’s sad. And it’s saddest when I visit a friend in the hospital that just had a baby. It’s sad to know ill never have that experience again. But…..I have two beautiful healthy miracles and I have the memories of having them and I pray I’m around a long time to experience more special days and make special memories with them. :)

    Thanks for posting… Needed to hear I’m not the only one who struggles with these thoughts. :)

  • Rachel S

    I completely understand. Shortly after my second child the doctors advised me to not have anymore children. I was devastated! Then about a year and a half later we were blessed to discover we were pregnant. I was thrilled and terrified. I kept the pregnancy just between me and my hubby until I was in my third trimester. Thanks God I didn’t really look pregnant until 6 weeks before I delivered. The day before delivery I cried the entire day. Not because I was afraid but because I knew this was it. My last pregnancy, labor, delivery, baby. I had to mourn these lasts so I could move on to celebrate the last firsts….if that makes any sense to you. My youngest is now 18 and every year on her birthday I find myself glancing down at my belly and remembering each of my babies kicks and hiccups. Every roll I felt in the middle of the night that had me waddling to the bathroom. Mostly, I remember the moment they made my world a little more perfect just by being in my arms. God Bless you and your family.

  • Jessicamomto4

    I don’t think your weird at all. Infertility keeps me from having more at least biologically. I loved being pregnant the one and only time. It’s such an amazing miracle. Plus once she entered the world I was going to have to share her. Now even though we have four kids 3 adopted, if my body worked I would totally do it again. Such a gift!

  • celian1309

    I loved being pregnant with my daughter. I played softball right up to the very end and I felt wonderful. My next successful pregnancy was exactly the opposite. I hated every moment of it. After my 18th week, I wasn’t allowed to do anything strenuous or travel more than 1 hour from my hospital. It was a nightmare because I had a 3 year old and I wanted to be doing things. I knew that when my boys were born (yes, it was twins) that was it. No more children for me. I am happy with my decision and so is my husband. We were blessed with 3 healthy kiddos and that is enough for us.

  • Cwindley

    Tori, You have made the decision to be there for your kids/hubby and being healthy and present. You have made a brave decision and one that while hard, is the right one.
    Look at it this way, you have just started a new chapter in your book. The book being your life. Now you raise children instead of creating/being pregnant.
    I loved pregnancy too. I loved delivery, not labor so much, but delivery was a challenge and it was something only I could do. It left me with a sense of accomplishment that only is achievable with pregnancy and birth. I had a couple of tough pregnancies as well but as long as Mommy and baby are healthy it is ALL WORTH IT.
    A Note to Dean: Sorry Dean, it might be unfair but as a fella you won’t ever understand the connection a Mommy has with her unborn. But you do get brownie points for listening and trying! Think of it as life’s way of paying girls back for the whole “monthly curse” thing : ) The connection between Mom and unborn baby is hard to understand and harder to put into words. An unborn child and a Mother have entire “conversations” in those months before birth. Our hearts talk without a word being spoken. Our feelings as a Mom translate to our child on the most basic and instinctual of levels that science can’t explain nor fathom. Now I am not a fruit loop or anything but I really do think this bond is something magical. You see Dean, pregnancy isn’t really the medical condition it has been reduced to: it is a miracle. So when your wife says, in time to come, that she misses the sense of deep connection that pregnancy provides, don’t feel left out or that you don’t fill the whole in her hear. Instead, if you will remember you two started this little miracle your connection is evident and not without merit. Without you this child would not be. You as Father play a very important part. You have a place in your wives heart that no one will ever be able to empty and no one will ever fill that spot like you will. Each time she sees you with your children she will melt a little, falling in love with you over and over, more and more each time. So hang in there Dean, pregnancy and the end of that chapter is just something every Mama goes through.
    We all miss pregnancy differently. I miss the kicks in the night, the intense hormones, the roundness of my ever growing belly, that ledge on top of my belly where I laid my hand regularly as if to comfort my child, then after birth the smell of a warm sleepy baby, and once mine were all potty trained, I missed the crinkly noise a little diaper makes as a baby runs across the floor, chasing after a toy or to meet Daddy at the door. It is funny little things like that, that add detail and memories to your book of life.

    The next chapter in life, your raising kids chapter, has its own perks and fun, as you are well learning. 1st days at school, sibling rivalry, crafts, mistakes/lessons learned, Christmas mornings, Birthdays, stuffy noses, sleepless nights, achievements, etc….it’s a good chapter and it is filled with many fun adventures. Relish them.
    Mrs. Tori it will get easier but you will always miss pregnancy, and who wouldn’t miss being part of such a glorious miracle! Enjoy your lil miracles but bravely turn that page : )

  • Julie Moore

    I miss pregnancy for all the superficial reasons. I liked the relaxed clothing, the way people seem a bit nicer to a pregnant woman, how you can order whatever’s on the menu:) I also miss how you’re full of such hope and life – the unexpected is coming and you actually can plan pretty close to when it will arrive. You really don’t have that kind of control anywhere else when it comes to major life events. Our 4th is coming via adoption – which we always knew – but I do morn not being pregnant with her.

  • Green Carlson

    I have had one child and I swore that I was a “one and done” kinda gal. We had some fertility issues that caused me to miscarry three times and I didn’t get pregnant with my daughter until I was 36. Now that she is three and I’m approaching my 40th birthday we have decided to try and have another baby. I miss being pregnant. I didn’t have the best time being pregnant, but I loved the feeling of being the sun to this little satellite. I could certainly protect her in my tummy, but I also knew how she was and I could feel her movements. It was such a visceral thing. I never thought that anything could feel that wonderful. Also, pregnant ladies are a protected class of humans. I always felt special and important with my baby bump. I was sacred. I hope I get that again.

  • Nicole Veee

    Tori, I totally GET IT!! I missed my belly and that wonderful powerful feeling of carrying and nuturing my baby inside my womb. Even being a momma doesn’t have that same deep feeling. We all love watching your family and I appreciate the fact that you seem to count your blessings every day! Love those babies to pieces!

  • doreen porzio

    I totally get what you are saying, because I know that you always LOVE being pregnant!! It is very sad for you to think of this as being your Last pregnancy! I am very glad that you posted this documenTORI so people will understand how you feel! Also that it was a very Dangerous pregnancy & it is Not a good idea to get pregnant again! It would be a very High risk pregnancy!!… You have it ALL Now!! You are Very Lucky for your “Miracle baby Finn” & for Yourself, “Miracle Mom!!” You have a Beautiful fulfilling family that is filled with Love, Joy & Happiness!! God Bless You & ALL!! Xo

  • Cntmoore

    Tori…. I totally understand. I am also a mama to 4. My last pregnancy was nothing as dangerous as yours, or so I thought. (Mine have also all been c-sections, which seems to horrify people!) Anyway, I went in for a scheduled c-section and once they were in there they discovered a uterine window which means my uterus was extreme thin from 4 babies and 4 repeat c-sections. If it would have ruptured I would have most likely bleed to death and the baby would have died as well. Thank goodness Chance Hudson was born healthy and all is well. It was recommended to me to have my tubes tied and I had pretty much decided that was probably the right thing even before the last c-section but was confirmed to me after what they discovered. I am also a weirdo and LOVED being pregnant and mourn the idea that the chapter has closed. I absolutely understand how you feel completely but we have to congratulate our bodies for what they accomplished and look forward to all the future chapters we have yet to write. Congratulations to you and Dean!

  • Cindy

    I have to say I feel you Tori. I have been with my husband for twenty years and we have a nineteen year old and a seventeen year old both turning in July, so my baby is seventeen and we both wanted another child and it didn’t happen and I just learned that I will have to have a partial hysterectomy and it was a feeling of finalization of no more baby for us. I have cried for months and miss that lil’ guy/girl feeling you get when you are prego.

  • Cox Clan

    Hi Tori! I have 5 amazing children and LOVED every pregnancy! I miss being pregnant. I am 39 and my you test just turned 4 (sniff,sniff) and cannot wait to have grand babies! And my oldest is just 13, so I have some time to wait! I considered myself a birther since I had those 5 pregnancies without any morning sickness and really easy natural deliveries! Although my last delivery, we almost lost our precious Carli as she graciously decided to give me most of her blood at birth and needed 2 blood transfusions and spent 11 days in NICU. After that and some prayer, my husband and I felt at peace to have him “snipped” so no more babies. My bundles of joy are Callahan “Cali” Joy 13, Cooper Allen 11, Conner Nelson 9, Caitlin Marie 6, and Carli Ryann 4. I love seeing your hands parenting and your candidness in your life! Thanks for sharing and if you are ever in Kentucky, we would love to visit and I could get a baby fix!!

  • Mama Bear

    I know how you feel as well. I was the very maternal little girl who LOVED playing babies with my dolls as a little girl.

    When I first got pregnant with “my” Stella almost 8 yrs ago, we waited to find out the sex, but I knew it was a little girl all along (mama’s just know these things) and then with my 2nd pregnancy, I found out the sex and it was a boy (that was fun too). Fisher turns 5 in March and I can hardly believe it..where does the time go.

    I could fill a home with children. I’m turning 40, Feb 4th and I would DO anything to have more children, I told my husband that would BE the BEST gift ever! (my husband is just done)..that’s the very sad part. I keep praying for his heart to change and that we could at least have one more. We’ll see. I LOVE being pregnant, every part of it. So when the season is over, it is a time to mourn. I pray you get to have another.. maybe time will heal.

    You have a beautiful family and you are such a joy to take in with the love you have for family. God has blessed you, that’s for sure. Thanks for sharing your big heart with the world! God bless.

  • Joy Thornborough

    Thanks Tori & Dean for sharing your lives with all of us. We all love how the two of your love each other and your family. It is amazing! I can’t even explain how you have affected our family by sharing. It is a very loving thing you do and if you get paid to do it … all the better!

    Best wishes & lots of love to you and the Family.

  • Kisstin

    I’m pregnant with baby #4, we think our last pregnancy and I am so sad too. I love being pregnant and Idon’t want to forget any moment of it. It’s hard to think that this may be the last time I feel one of my babies move and I will never have my pregnant belly again. Baby is due in July, I can already tell that I will be an emotional wreck when my csection is scheduled. Both happy and sad. I totally understand! My kids are 4, 3, 7 months, and 14 weeks pregnant! This will be my 3rd c section.

  • Margy Alkemade

    Ever since the day I was born I always wanted (and expected) to be a Mum – or to be allowed to be a Mum… It was all I wanted to do in life. After much struggle with guys over the years and trying to find “the one” a miracle happened I was pregnant!!!!! It was the BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. When I saw my guy that evening and told him, he got in the car and drove off. When I saw him three days later my guy told me to get rid of it. There is no part of my soul that would ever permit that to ever happen!!!! The day my little Brayden was born was the BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. As time went on, the father had his eye on another, and thus walked out on Mum and Bub. As life has it I fell in love with another and he gave me two beautiful babes – a boy and a girl!!! But he wasn’t really into kids, and thus went off with another gal that he had his eye on. Luckily I don’t look back on the negatives, all I can remember is the wonderful feeling of purchasing a pregnancy test (2 or 3 just to be sure, then one spare in case I can’t believe my eyes…) and after peeing on the stick – the way my stomach jumps with joy when it turns out positive. Telling my family – especially my Mum we were in heaven. Then when reality sets in and you start to feel excited, and the dreaded nausea sets in, but you push through it all knowing it doesnt last forever. Then feeling the bump getting bigger each month. WOW. The wondering what it is – boy or girl, pink or blue, yellow to be safe!!!!! I had three babies (I would had loved 4 – it feels balanced 4… but their fathers lived in another world – one that was not one bit interested in kids. The youngest is now 9 and the craving dissipates a little – it does get better. Anyway I have three wonderful children that are the focus of my life and I could not ask for more. Love you Tori, I hear you x x x x

  • Karlyn

    I have 3 children and enjoyed my pregnancies. However, by my third, I was sure I was done. I was ready to explore a professional career and was tired of being fat and trying to lose the “baby weight” over and over again. I was tired. My husband travelled a lot, and we lived away from family. That meant I was the sole parent a lot of times. Babies are gifts and a blessing. When you think of how many people struggle to have one child, you can’t help but feel humbled and grateful. I thank God daily for my children.
    Tori, you are a role model for so many of us. I love watching you love and nurture your family. I am in awe of how kind hearted you are. We often see the other side of people born in privilege. You are amazing. Keep spreading your love, I for one am grateful to be a witness. .

  • Bonnie Mike

    I have 3 wonderful sons,however my last pregnancy was very difficult resulting in my baby being born at 28 weeks at 2.3lbs and from going through bed rest and the difficulties through the pregnancy my husband and I decided this would be our last one:( I was so sad about not being able to have more babies but now that my baby is 14 months now our family feels complete!!1

  • Life With The Crust Cut Off

    I cried for a week leading up to the birth of my first because I knew it would be over and I loved being pregnant. I didn’t think anyone ever knew what I meant when I would say I felt alone after after having my son Dean, but I did feel lonely after giving birth and I missed him being in my tummy even though I loved being able to hold him I still had that lonely feeling from him not being just mine and just with me 24/7. So I totally understand and I am so glad that there is someone out there that feels the same way because I thought I had to be the only mom who felt alone after giving birth, even though they are surrounded by family and have a new baby, I still missed the baby in my tummy lol.

  • Lana F

    Wow!What I would say …Ladies may surprise you ,but for me actually the best part of all process was the birth… Not being pregnant , but ” the magic of the birth a human being” and when I see a joy and happiness On my husband,s face and little tiny baby .My all 4 babies did respond differently to the World welcoming:))))One was very peaceful and some were wuuuuaaaa .kind of ” mad” :))))

  • Dorota Klim

    I love you Tori.Thank you for your blok.I cried a few days leading up to the birth of my first.
    I loved being pregnet. I felt alone after having my son Jocob.
    like you Tori. So I totally understanded. i am so glad there is someone out that that feels the same way becouse I thought i had to be the only mom who felt alone after giving birth even though they are surronded by the family.I would like to be 1 more time pregnet.

  • Jennifer

    I have 3 wonderful children, 2 granddaughters and 2 of my children are having babies this Summer (the oldest was also but miscarried last week). When I was pg with my youngest it was a difficult pregnancy, I spent over a week in hospital 1st trimester due to hyperemesis and was put on maternity leave early. Found out she had problems with her urinary tract and would need several surgeries, the 1st @ 3mos. Her delivery was the hardest & fastest, she was 10 days overdue and due to her problems they didn’t want her to stay longer. The induction was just to fast 0-10 in 2.5 hrs. also had problems with hemorrhaging. I had a Tubal the next day and the following day she flunked 2 of 3 heart tests and was almost airlifted to Children’s Hosp. She did have appt already for specialist we were driving (3 hrs) the next day. I had the WORST POST PARTUM DEPRESSION for months!! I was devastated she was my last. I would cry out of no where. But I always wanted more babies. Now I’m blessed bring a Mom & Grandma!

  • Jeanne Tutt

    I’m proud of y’all for knowing when enough is enough! *hugs* I know it’s hard but enjoy it all while you can and then you’ll get to live through it again when you have grandkids ;)

  • Silje

    Beautiful pregnant belly.

  • Rachael Justin

    I was ok with not having more up until the day of my husbands vasectomy i cried and the nurse came in and asked me if i was ok and I said i know 4 kids is enough i don’t know why i am so sad and she said it is a final feeling that is the best i can explain it.I will never be pregnant again i will never hold a newborn of my own i will never anticipate the birth and the breastfeeding and bonding its a final feeling :’(

  • Mama Bear

    Rachael Justin, that confirms the sadness. I love hearing all of your mothering stories. I’m definitely going to be the old lady who forever rocks the babies in the church nursery.

  • Tracy Packard

    I totally agree with you Tori! I LOVED being pregnant! It is most beautiful and precious experience that I ever had.

  • mariealline

    I totally “get it” why you were feeling sad. After my last baby, I had to have an emergency hysterectomy and it was devastating! I had 6 beautiful children and somehow I knew Andrew was my last but I didn’t really feel the sadness until I had to have the surgery and then it really hit me hard. It was the end of having babies and my life as I knew it. People around me thought I was nuts because I already had 6 beautiful children and they just couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did.

    It’s interesting, being I am much older than you and my children are already grown up but I relate so much to you and how you are as a mommy. You have totally immersed yourself in the joy of your husband and children as I did. My kids (and grandlings) are still my life today and I just love you for who you are and your commitment to your family. I hope they all realize through the years just what a blessing you are to them!

  • Barbara

    That was a precious video. It expresses such a deep love for your unborn child.. the warmth and security it has from you carrying it is hard to express, but, you did it so well. You have been your child’s first home for 9 months. It’s such a secure feeling that baby and you have, during that time. It is just such a special time and bonding. I, also, loved being pregnant and was sad when I knew it would be the last baby I would carry. I felt your emotions so much. God Bless.. You are really special (and your whole family).

  • Momma Used To Say

    I so did not feel this way because I didn’t like being pregnant. For me the stress was the not knowing how my child was doing on the inside. When the baby is in front of you, you can diagnose and possibly save him/her but inside…you have NO IDEA what is going on and that made me nervous! It is wonderful that you were honest about how you were feeling because either way, having a child is very emotional and all sides of the story should be shared.

  • Mariana Hernandez

    Tori, I totally get what your saying, even though I personally don’t like being pregnant, my mother on the other hand, became very sad when my sister and I had to come out. She felt amazing, and she will always say she also loved showing it off too, and wearing the maternity clothes. I wish you the best in your new child xoxoxoox.

  • Holly

    I totally get it. I actually really have a hard time being pregnant and on one hand I don’t ever want to do it again (I’m on #4 now), but on the other hand I so much LOVE being so close to my child and LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling my baby move in my womb. I dread birth, but I can’t bear the thought of never having a “babymoon” again. Those 1st hours/days/weeks as a new mama are the absolute greatest and I treasure every moment, trying to soak it all in and carve it to memory. I’ll be so sad when this phase of my life passes!

  • sweetangels222

    I understand totally. It took a long time and thousands of dollars for us to get pregnant with our first and only child. I always thought there would be another child. We tried, but nothing happened. I just wish I could have had one more. I am glad you have had all the precious time to enjoy your pregnancies and your babies! You are truly blessed!

  • Katie Ramirez

    I totally get what you are saying, i was said after each, i love being pregnant also and so after each one i was sad to see it end but also excited to meet the new little person in my life. I hope we can have 1 more, we have 3 our latest is 8 months. But well see whats in store for us. You havea very lovely family!

  • odalis

    Ifelt the same way when my husband was like “this is going to be our last one”i loved my last to pregnancy I still want atleast two more.
    I have three know

  • Kathryn Flamme

    My hubby and I had our last 4 years ago. Though my heart hurts because I really want another baby. No it’s not because my last child is older. I’ve always wanted a big family and i Really want my daughter to have a sister to grow up with and have a special bond like my sister and I do. I currently have two boys and one girl. My hubby and I decided to have a vasectomy right after my youngest was born. Of coarse I thought I was done! I jus popped a 8 lb baby two weeks before! I have regretted the decision ever since And we really want another but can’t come up with the money for a reversal. I have been trying to save but just can’t :( make sure that when you decide you’re done that YOU’RE really done. Because now our chances of having another child is slim to none unless some miracle happens. And yes… I do pray that 1% chance of the vasectomy failing comes true.

  • Luna Bird

    I totally get you! I like you met my husband in 2005 and we had our first baby, a girl in 2007 and I as soon as she was born I thought, I can’t wait to this again. I loved being pregnant! I just had my second baby 7 months ago today and I am still a little sad that this is my last baby as I am 39 years old and had a tough pregnancy so my husband and I decided two is enough. Perhaps if I were younger I would consider having one more but for now the memories of me and my big baby belly will have to do.

  • Shannon Juarez

    Tori, you are an inspiration to many people. I never had the experience of having a child full-term. I often wonder if I would have had a boy or a girl. I’m sure there is a reason I never got to have children of my own; I just don’t know right now what that is. By watching you through your pregnancies, I get to “live” the feelings and emotions that a new mother would go through. I am so glad you are so comfortable with your family to share these precious moments. I can only imagine what you went through with your last precious baby boy, Finn. The bond you will have with him is going to be so strong! Please keep sharing your life with us. You may be the only link to these experiences some people get. I wish you and your beautiful family many, many blessings.

  • Darren Martin

    You’re such an awesome Mom! Your kids are lucky to have you. Thanks for sharing that with us!

  • Laura Mccoy

    Completely agree!! That’s exactly how I felt at the end of my pregnancy w the fourth! Knowing this was my last, last time to feel a baby moving inside, all of my pregnancies were great. I was very emotional w my last. Now that she just turned one, I was emotional at her first bday party knowing this is the last time I’m using a number one candle and sure it will b the same every year for her. I’m going to miss bf, having someone depend on u solely! I totally get how u feel, knowing that this part of my life is over:( btw…congrats to dean, yay, what a great cook, and what a lucky lady to have a husband that is so heads on and loves to cook!,,, u r truly blessed tori!

  • lucy

    Dear friend it is almost two months now since i order a pregnancy spell cast on me by Dr Ekaka from the ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com and which i started seeing changes on my body since the first week of last month and it two month and i am carrying my own baby in my warm i am so happy that i finally get pregnant after all i been through. All thanks be to Ekaka

  • kika

    not sure about the angel thing going on. But yes Ms.Tori I do understand what you said about keeping baby in. :)