Live

picTORIal: Moms Gone Wild

 Hello, my name is Tori, and I’m a Kid-a-holic. It’s true. I have real issues leaving my kids. Because of my issues Dean and I rarely go to parties, dinners, a date, or anything adult driven. Seems that if there’s not a kid’s menu, I’m not interested.

But, it didn’t start out that way. Before we had kids we lit up the town. Social card filled nightly. I swore up and down that kids wouldn’t change us. That we would be awesome parents but still take time for ourselves to have adult fun time. And then came Liam. And, then Stella. Hattie and then Finn. We haven’t been out without our kids past 7pm in probably 2 years! No joke.

So, when my good friend Jess’ wedding invite arrived in the mail I started to sweat. I love Jess but not only was it an adults only wedding but (gulp) it was also out of town. The wedding was just in Santa Barbara, which is an hour from us, but how would this affect the kids aka ME! I immediately started looking into multiple rooms at the hotel. In my head I quickly got a game plan in place… a sitter could hang with the kids in the hotel room while we attended the wedding, right? It could work! That’s when Dean took my hands, wiped my sweat speckled brow, and suggested we have a much needed adult-only night away. What?? No chicken fingers? No SpongeBob? No “Wipe me I poo’d”? Hmmm… That sounded terrifying!! The quiet alone would probably send me off the deep end.

Four constant offspring voices is like white noise to me. It’s my comfy zone. But, after 2 years of back to back pregnancies and 4 beautiful but loud babes later my husband and I probably could use a night to ourselves. I agreed and we booked 1 room with a king size bed. We would celebrate my friend and have a romantic night all in one. The day of the wedding I nervously packed my weekender bag. It seemed empty void of pacifiers, Blankees, sippy cups, and diaper cream. So I distracted myself by planning a night of sheer vintage glamour. I picked an exceptional ensemble and packed it all up. Then I kissed all 4 kids and kissed all 4 kids and kissed all 4 kids. Liam, now the man of the house for “one night only”, nervously laughed and finally said, “Ok Mommmm”, so I stopped the over sharing of affection and blew them a final kiss before leaving. I knew they’d be well taken care of but still had to throw in, “Call me if anything, I mean anything at all goes wrong. I can be back in less than an hour!!!!” I clasped my hand over my mouth to hinder any further irrational babble. Even I realized I sounded desperate.

And so we left and began our journey up the coast. I had an hour to calm down and squash the hover mother voices in my head. Once at the resort we decided to have a late lunch with 2 of our besties James and Steven. But, I wasn’t out of the danger zone yet. Sitting on the patio, staring at the ocean, dining on fish and chips and enjoying a glass of rosé I was suddenly stricken by guilt. Not the guilt of being away from the kids, but for the first time guilt because I was actually enjoying myself. I told myself I deserved this moment and then we all cheered… To an adult night!

After lunch we all went back to our rooms to change for the wedding. I was amazed that I was ready with hair, makeup, and dressed in less than 20 minutes. We then gathered for the golf cart to take us to the bluff where Jess and her fiancée Wolf would be married. The ceremony was flawless. Simple yet supremely chic and Jess looked radiant. She was in her element and I loved watching her marry the man of her dreams.

After the ceremony we headed to cocktail hour. As I entered the patio I was promptly greeted by a silver tray filled with grand crystal goblets of wine. A sea of red and white. They seemed to taunt me as I calmly took a red wine, reminding myself that pacing oneself is everything and that I hadn’t had much to drink in over 2 years. I sat down with “the boys” and Dean and again we cheered. This was becoming a habit. I asked someone to snap a pic of me and Steven while uttering these words… “Tonight is going to be epic…” Half living in the moment and half self-fulfilling prophecy, we made our way into the dinner.

Jess and Wolf soon entered and sat at their sweet heart table, aka a two top bride and groom table. We sat at a long family style table and I soon found myself meeting all of Jess’s childhood friends from Maryland amongst the stars and bistro lights. I also met a couple other moms who looked amazing, clearly finally having a moment to do their makeup and flat iron their hair. We dined on an amazing steak and fish dinner and gulp… more red wine. I sat between Dean and my friend Chris, across from James and Steven, and was in my element. I texted home a few times to find the kids were… wait for it… totally fine without us. Having fun with Laura who was caring for them and not missing us the slightest. I think that knowledge allowed me to let go. So, I put my phone away and let down my hair… literally.

Not gonna lie, the rest of the night is a blur. Key points I remember… Bustling Jess’s dress so she could dance gangnam style on the dance floor with me, gossiping in a corner with a bunch of gals using phrases like “cray cray” and “shut the hell up!”, smashing a floral arrangement in the middle of the dance floor just for the hell of it, lip locking with a fellow mom who never gets out and screaming, “Look! It’s mom on mom action”, and finally, leaving the wedding hanging on to Jess’s mom while sobbing that I love her daughter sooooooooo much. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, it wasn’t quite over. I puked. Not like politely kneeling and vomiting at the commode after feeling a tad queasy. I mean gut wrenching chunks everywhere. Poor Dean. He didn’t get his romantic night, but damn I had fun!

The next morning I felt absolutely horrible, and combing dried red wine colored puke from my hair in the shower was a low point. But, sitting in that shower I had a realization. Well two realizations. One, I would never drink that much again. And, two, that I was proud of myself for letting go and allowing myself one night of debauchery. For most people, my night was probably relatively tame but for me it was “Moms Gone Wild!” When we arrived home I hugged and kissed my babies like I hadn’t seen them in… well, in almost a day. It was good to be home and back to being mom. As I sat down on the couch to watch cartoons with them I thought to myself, “Maybe last night wasn’t as bad as I thought…” And then, I found my iPhone…

Here’s my picTORIal in order of occurrence of my “Moms Gone Wild” night:

W3cuoLUk4tc94vw7NU4t0CGK.jpeg:Amazon:photo

It all started so innocently. A mom getting a much needed kid-free break… A toast to adulthood! A glass of rosé by the sea upon check in at our hotel.

g2pmiHRa9Byf36SMl06gtSXX.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Ready for the wedding! Riding in a golf cart to wedding site

1gINEDa3BctHfBXdarfkuiFr.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Seated with our dear friends James and Steven (who recently had a wedding of their own) aka the dashing blokes I will soon call my partners in crime

2z1UO5wMG0Zjd5bnXW3PtAtd.jpeg:Amazon:photo

My handsome hubby (note: at this point in the program he thought he had a night of romance ahead of him)

kpwQow4ABfy3BDd5ASe2U3ju.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Boy meets girl wedding side…

7FnITu17gqSC5kDyt2Ka5His.jpeg:Amazon:photo
7FnITu17gqSC5kDyt2Ka5His.jpeg:Amazon:photo
yPpDzrgaUVb0z7WQhuhqWIdo.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Showing off my vintage accessories

u4RTngzXvE9X00RIfKng2D4o.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Amazing view from the cliff side wedding site

CC2Qcr0yvJS47Rc1duhxMIju.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Saying their vows. Love that tree they got married under…

XebBc83cD4hI0Uj1mkPVtQBL.jpeg:Amazon:photo

After the ceremony. I loved capturing this amazing moment

SVFRd8hLRA6b8Qtxi68BJjuy.jpeg:Amazon:photo

As I entered cocktail hour I encountered a plethora of glasses. Red or white? In hindsight I should have gone with white…

WQbUtDLAJfCPLgNJf0dgMvJz.jpeg:Amazon:photo

The resort was a gorgeous back drop. My adorable friend Steven my photo pawn…

P5dQ76bsNrL75IDCvp1pMLbu.jpeg:Amazon:photo

This pic I see as the first of “my night out”. Chic and composed.

vkJaCkWJIZH45w2aWsom90g5.jpeg:Amazon:photo

My friend Chris wearing one of his own bow tie designs from Boutaugh. He helped Jess plan and execute her amazing weddingw9URYKnyN1K8zXgyTVz7d8OL.jpeg:Amazon:photo

COOnuisbWGpQ7gJQYU2GGOU5.jpeg:Amazon:photo

At dinner. Not bored, simply posing!

P6bJrTfBeBGDJobvvQf1S2in.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Loved the simply chic and gorgeous florals

9q6I5xSUNPp9SolMo2em3ywL.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Great idea! Wrapping glass votives in lace

u92yjcmcmUYm5hU3a1344IXm.jpeg:Amazon:photo

James and Steven at dinner…

JndhJcoRntz4bjgNDMlmCVd4.jpeg:Amazon:photo

I have a bevy of handsome men in my life…

q5rx3gILbNs8kB7J5mcqp9Ur.jpeg:Amazon:photo

After dinner the wedding planner in me insisted we bustle Jess’s dress before hitting the dance floor

1o8X6D5NpEbrfk4vwuIUcdod.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Oh hey there…

qrUTBbjE8CYwAyzKh5vE7fRk.jpeg:Amazon:photo
QHkvsnSmMjIn4vC5bEIGBJQg.jpeg:Amazon:photo
qnefDb3I0NwvG0HAnyrsh5lP.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Oh HEYYYY there! It’s on!

FIqbu8ksCV5AFKfxw9J0lkwS.jpeg:Amazon:photo
Itph6hoO16NP0hzMuDX8m2FY.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Back in the day this entity formally known as Tori we named Teri (Tori’s wild friend from out of town.) Teri is good times and hasn’t visited in years! Guess she got a last minute invite to Jess’ wedding…uIMU6hbiTyR3aCyRS0jK8NRW.jpeg:Amazon:photohyAKpVA0YVBBbEFU7oI6Rila.jpeg:Amazon:photo

672BpXXZLJcgrodlsTUnH6VN.jpeg:Amazon:photo

And here’s the pic that ended the night (A little different than the pic of Steven and I that started the night)

LCrJJjIubOnBJtsAuvc3dFej.jpeg:Amazon:photo

Never mind… This is actually the pic that ended the night. That’s Jess’s mom I’m hanging on. Sorry Jess!

And there you have it. Jess’ wedding weekend was incredible, sans the puke sesh. And it was SO good to see my old friend Teri come out to play. I have a feeling we won’t be seeing her again for quite some time…

Have you had your own “Moms Gone Wild” experience lately? Tell me about it in the comments below…

Love,
T

  • January Jones

    You deserve it!!! You are an amazing mom and no one doubts that. You have to let your hair down every once in a while. Now you just owe Dean that nice romantic evening. LOL.

  • Adrienne DeGrands

    Tori, I love this!! Not being a mom myself (Yet), I sometimes don’t relate to your emails and blogs, but love them nontheless so this was a special treat. Also, it reminded me of reading your books which I also love so much! Looks like you guys had a great time at such a beutiful location. Here’s to a few more non-kid nights out!!

  • Erika Tharp

    I’m racking my brain trying to think of my last “moms gone wild” day and coming up blank. I’m like you I enjoy being with my kids and leaving them especially overnight gives me stress. But hearing about your fun you have inspired me to have one hopefully soon!

  • Hilary Mouat

    That was sooo funny to read Tori!!!! You look like you had so much fun and really enjoyed being away from the kids, even if it pained you. This post reminds me of when I read sTORI Telling and you talking about your crazy parties back in the day!!! At least this shows you have not lost your enthusiasm for a party!!!!

  • Lara Medina

    Omg, this was hysterical! Good for you!! That’s what my hubby and I love about you guys. You love to be with your kids and you are real! We love that when you found out your were having another child you didn’t run out and buy a bigger house, but downsized to be closer, who does that?? We are the same way. Our kids come first no matter what. And believe me, we hear about it! But we don’t care!
    I did have a MGW day recently. My sister and I took our dad out for his birthday. All he wanted to do was spend the day with his daughters at the racetrack. I’d never been, but was very much looking forward to spending time with them, just not away from my kids…but I went. Make a long story short, a few races and a few glasses of white wine later, I was toast! It was 95 degrees out and since I’m a vegan I only ate a soft pretzel with mustard the whole day, ugh! I don’t remember going to the Casino that was at the track, I don’t remember yelling “I want a piggy back ride!!!!” and jumping onto my sister’s back in the parking lot. I found out later when her friend posted the picture on facebook, lol! I do remember puking in my dad’s car in my driveway (I still feel awful about that). PS Mustard stains…had to throw away my tank top, first time I wore it too. I did come home with $20 more than I started with, apparently I won at the Casino. Hubby took care of me (teased me profusely) and put me to bed.
    With that said, I will not be getting white girl wasted for a loooooong time.
    We went out with my sister last weekend, but I had one glass of wine, felt great in the morning and remember the whole night! <3

    PS Your pics from the wedding are great!!

  • Karen Topper

    I am not a mom so therefore I have not had a “moms gone wild” moment. But my sister recently did at my brother wedding. My husband took care of my nephew (her son) so that my sister and I could dance and have a good time. It was nice to see my sister let loose and get funky!

  • Erica

    You are hilarious!! I am glad you were able to enjoy a night out. I enjoyed this post and I love your honesty about the night. :)

  • may may

    tory,

    oh my gosh do i totaly undestand you hugg,i have a 10 month baby girl and its so hard to leave her behind. just to go to the store lol and me and the hubby havent had a night to our selfs since our anniversary and after our time, we were lost with out her. i had a day with just my best friend/sister and she has 5 kids, we both didnt know what to do with out the kids lol but tryed to enjoy getting our nails done and doing some shopping. so, i totaly understand, an those times of us parting or hugging our best friend the toilet maybe gone lol, not like we miss that part that much lol but the loseness and having adult time its nice, an well deserved.

  • Amanda Doerrie

    ERMEGHERD… This is spectacular… I am about 3 months away from getting married, and hopefully about 4 or 5 months away from being preggo – Tori, Tori, Tori… We needs to hang out together sister-friend… THIS WILL BE MY LIFE AFTER BABIES!!! I am 32 and intend on opening the factory right away – and *God-Willing* end up with 3 or 4 little Giuliano-Buds (what we call our future kiddly-winks)… Honestly – I like to drink, I like to have a good time… and right now – I have a friend, similar to Teri (they might know one another) – and I can’t WAIT to see her come out after we have babies. Honestly – this is the funniest post I’ve seen you write for EdiTORIal – This is amazing… thank you SO MUCH for sharing, and letting us all know that it is ok for Mom’s to let loose once in a while… I can’t wait for ‘Mandi’ to make her appearance after having kids… but before then – she appears about once every 2 months or so… This is Amazing!!! Thank you – Love You!!!

  • Jessica Oakley

    Oh Tori…I had a night just like this not long ago. My best friend got married last month and this mommy of two just can put back the drinks like I used to. But I had an amazing time despite my puke fest :)

  • Darren Martin

    Love the picTORIal. Cute! Glad you got out and enjoyed yourself. Teri sounds like fun :) Hope I get to meet her someday too ;)

  • Lemon Meringue

    Hilarious!!! And the picture of Teri is THE.BEST.EVER. on this blog. For a legless mum you still look pretty stylish in the last pic, but I completely understand you didn’t feel like that the next morning. See it as your maidentrip back into the world of grown-up parties! It’s good you came out of your comfortzone (entering the Twilightzone with Teri though …)and even better that you’ve got yourself a night to remember (and a good laugh for all of us, your devoted followers. And for Dean’s sake (poor bloke)… do a rerun in the near future: dress like a vintage vamp, make it two nights and ditch the vomiting part. But thanks A LOT for this post, made my day!
    My own MGW? It was also on a wedding this summer and because I was the one to make the cake, I was utterly nervous the whole day. Besides a bowl of comfort (porridge that is, I’m sorry, just love my bowl of milk and oats) in the morning and regular caffeine fixes during the day, I had not eaten anything that day and way too little for dinner. Then their was the relief after dinner when they finally cut the cake. And then I took the plunge; red wine as well. I am a girl who can hold her drink pretty well (thank God) but I always end up singing or dancing in a way I should not: there was a Yoko Ono-imitation once and this time a cringeworthy ‘Born To Hand Jive’dance-routine from Grease … I was dressed up Fifties Style, maybe that inspired me? My only solace is that I wasn’t the only one that night, I got upstaged by the mother of the bride! Or might that just be a TERIfying peak into our MGW-future?!?
    Love you for being who you are and your courage of sharing these moments with us!!!!

  • Helen Waters

    I LOVED this! Thank you for being so authentic. The pics were awesome! Makes me want to have my own adventure sometime. How fun!

  • andrea wescott

    Ha it is so funny you write of this I to went out last weekend and I am the same way.
    i have a side name for the girl who is a partier she is Angria.

    I hear ya on the guilt I felt bad having a good time and not having the kids there. I know these once in a blue moon fun times make for a better momma…

  • Tracey Charles

    OMG, that is hysterical. I’m so happy for you & Dean that you had a fun ADULT-only night out! Yay! Your dress is very pretty! I laughed out loud at the blur of “Teri”. That’s awesome. Thank you for the picTORIal. So cool of you to share. The wedding looked beautiful.

  • desi

    What fun! So glad you and Dean had a fun night out. You looked so beautiful! Moms deserve adult only time too. Just to dress up and cut loose is fun every once in a while and I think it really makes you glad to get home and realize fun at home too!

  • Jeanne Tutt

    I’m so glad you and Dean got some time alone! I know it’s hard to leave the lil ones, but sometimes mommy and daddy need some couple time ;)

  • Kelstrum

    Thanks for sharing Tori, this is exactly how I feel at the thought of leaving my little daughter who’s 1!! It’s great to know the thought of leaving their babies invokes the same feelings in others! I loved reading this. Thank you again xoxo

  • Maggie Duval

    Tori, tori,tori, …is so nice to see that others have just as much fun as I do and live to tell about it without regret ….Our poor husbands…lol thank you for being so honest, I always feel so guilty for having ” fun” without the kiddos l

  • Ali Meadows

    I have been a fan of you since the 90210 days and have continued being a huge fan through all of your reality shows and thank you for this honesty! I only have one child (16 month) and I have already had a few mom gone wild nights and always feel so guilty(ESP since I went back to work after a year). But I think it is totally normal and healthy. Also I think your kids become a little more independents n a good way being away for a night or two! And obliviously you leave your kids in the best care and they are having a blast! Love u tori and again thanks for your honesty! ESP the puking part we’ve all been there!

  • Ali Butler

    Hi ;) you asked us to share our ” moms gone wild “story. Well my husband is currently in the ARMY … He’s stationed in South Korea and I’m in WA with my 5 kids. I quit my job as a labor and delivery nurse to stay home. The army allows my husband to come home for ” mid tour” for a month. He was home from October 18 til last Sunday. And we had some great hubby and wife times… I had not ha much more than a glass of wine every so often while we was gone. So I went a little nuts when he was home… I had some great adult fun with my hubby ;) he he he ;)

  • Annika Thorsell

    Omg Tori lol, seems like a great party there. I know its hard to leave the kids and if you feel that way I think you should be entitled to do as your heart tells you. Our kids are small for such a short time and sooner or later life looks different anyways, so enjoy every minute of their littleness. I had three boys with 2 years apart, life was intense but I was on top of it all. Now they are 7, 9, 11 and the only one who wants to chill with me now is the one who also wants to poke me….Well, just about anyways :) Love you sweety!

  • Carol A

    Everyone needs to let go once in a while – You were way over-due!! Glad you had an awesome time, and I hope you have many more! Love and light -