I can’t believe last night marked the end of our sixth season. It’s been an amazing run so far and we are sad to say so long for now. This season was just eight short episodes but it was actually the longest season we’ve ever filmed. On and off it was 18 months in the making.
We started off last night’s episode four weeks away from Baby’s due date. We saw me and my gays plan a really fun baby shower where my friends and I crafted the afternoon away and then I donated all of the baby gifts to an amazing charity called Baby2Baby! We also saw me just starting my nursery. I was going for canary yellow and grey because I didn’t know baby’s sex. But, there was no doubt in my mind that it was a boy. So much for trusting one’s intuition. Of course right after birth I scrapped that color palette and went for pink and grey for the nursery!
It was really important to me that I spend one on one time with both Liam and Stella before the baby came. We are so used to doing everything as a family unit that I very rarely do things with one child without the other one. I knew Stella would love a princess pink tea party. It was so fun getting to just focus on Stella and give her my complete attention. No Liam to overshadow her as big bros tend to do. It was such a nice moment that I’ll cherish forever.
Next, I knew Liam would want to do something dude-esque. If I wasn’t so preggers it would have been a fun sport but I was limited in movement so I opted for science experiments since he loves science. He’s growing up so fast and I’m very proud of the little man he’s become! Well, except when he blurts out a bad word occasionally.
I loved doing the family growing baby bump photos throughout the pregnancy. It really kept the kids a part of the journey, which was important to me. For our final nine month baby bump photo I decided to make it interactive! I highly recommend doing this if you’re preggers and have other children. They loved painting my belly and being so involved. It was an adorable picture to have as a keepsake as well. I still can’t believe Liam spelled out “Tori” on my belly. My little genius!
Everyone had an opinion on the sex and timing of baby McDermott Number 3’s grand entrance. But Baby McDermott had its own plans! The night my water broke I was SO not prepared. By the time we got to the hospital I was in the worst pain of my life with contractions and when my doctor said, “it’s time!” I was so terrified. I knew the drill the third time around but somehow you still never feel prepared. It’s scary. Having Dean by my side was comforting but all you can think is please let baby come out safely and be healthy. It’s crazy what goes through your head when the doctor tells Dad to get in position with camera and that we’ll be meeting your baby in 10 seconds. You spend technically 10 months growing a human that you can’t see, touch, or hear. But you dream about them. You dream about loving them so completely. You make silent promises to them when you are alone and rubbing your belly. You promise to do everything in your power to protect this little person for the rest of their life. Your tears of fear and joy simultaneously fall on the belly. We are never completely ready yet we unknowingly spend our whole lives preparing to do the only thing a baby really needs… to be loved. Anything is possible if you have unconditional love. Every doll we nurture as toddlers, every dog we pat and let lick our faces as children, and every hug we give our mommies and daddies prepare us to become mommies. I look at Stella swaddle, hug, and kiss her baby dolls daily and I smile knowing she will one day be an amazing mommy herself.
And, then in an instant you hear that first cry and it’s all real. We forget to take that moment to give ourselves the credit we deserve. We create and incubate life. Women are amazing on many levels but on the simplest one, we bring miracles into this world. Then I heard Dr. J say “you were all wrong!” and then I had my girl! All along I thought I had a baby boy growing in my belly and in one second it all changed. I had my second girl! I secretly wanted another girl but was so convinced that it was a boy that I wouldn’t even let Dean and I think of girls names. So nameless baby girl McDermott was whisked away as they quickly cleaned her and checked her out. It was just a couple of minutes but it seemed like an eternity. She had been a part of me for so long that two minutes of her across the room was heartbreaking. But, then swaddled they placed her cheek to cheek with me. I felt the warmth of her skin on mine. I heard her little breaths in and out. My baby was no longer inside of me. She was by my side. And, soon she would be in my arms.
I thought I was complete in that moment but I was wrong. Completion and total mommy contentment happened when my two other babies came to visit me and newly-named Hattie Margaret McDermott. Watching Liam and Stella’s faces as they saw Hattie for the first time still chokes me up thinking about it. It’s a visual that I’ll keep in my heart forever. They were so excited to meet their new baby sister.
We spend so much of our lives wanting and thinking we need more than what we have but all we really need is family. The family we create. That alone makes all of us mommies the richest people in the world! I’m only human though. So I’ll remind myself that next time I envy the fact that the Kardashians all have Birkin bags in every hue. Damn you Kim!
Now, if you follow our shenanigans you know we just so happen to move every time I have a baby. So why would this time be any different? It’s been 3 months and I’d like to say we are completely settled in our new cozy downsized house but we aren’t. Boxes have become the new ottoman sadly. But boxes and all we are in bliss. We have three amazing babies and so much love. I often speak to the 16-year-old Tori who never felt pretty or thought she deserved to be loved and happy. I silently hug her and tell her how proud I am of the woman she has become. I now know I do deserve love and happiness. I know that every day as I hug my husband and love my children with every inch of my being.
Who knows what the future holds? I hope we get picked up for a seventh season of Tori & Dean! We love being able to share our journey with all of you. It’s busy and challenging at times, but it’s our happy chaos. So, until we meet again from our living to yours just remember to sit back and enjoy the lives you’ve created. Mommies make miracles! And, side note to our network Oxygen: we make a very real show that is loved by many, so let’s get us back where we belong and soon! Or, Liam might come “kick your asses!” ha ha!
I’d love to hear what you thought of the season finale- let me know in the comments below! And don’t forget to enter the Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood Scavenger Hunt for a chance to win a FaceTime or Skype chat with us!+ Comment