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Liam’s World: Changing Clothes

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As I was changing the other evening, Liam shrieked, covered his eyes, and said:

“Oh no! I do NOT need to see that! Get that out of my face. That huge thing sitting on top of your legs. Your butt is ginormous”

Changing in front of my kids always seemed so natural and normal. After all they are just toddlers, and I did make them from this body. But, for the first time I think I blushed and quickly covered up. Is this it? At four years old, is Liam now too old for me to be changing in front of him?

Do you change in front of your kids? What age do you think is appropriate and what’s not?

More From Liam’s World:

Visiting Mom at the Hospital
On Contemporary Cinema
On Paparazzi

  • Audrey West

    I do change in front of my 4 year old. As my kids get older I think they naturally become more modest and I know there will come a time when we won’t be so open. At this age my daughter is becoming very aware of our similarities and differences and very blunt in her observations and questions as Liam is!

  • Heather Gimenez

    My son is almost six and has no problem with me changing in front of him-or him being naked in front of us. But he does not like for other people to see him naked (good thing). I started not fully changing in front of him a bit ago. I don’t close the bedroom door but I don’t want around naked either. It’s all about trying to get him to understand privacy-aka not just walking into the bathroom all the time. My husband is actually the one who has always had a problem with my being naked/getting dressed around our son. But I don’t want our son growing up ashamed, embarrassed, etc about nudity.

  • Christine Bouchard

    OK First Tori I don’t think anything on you can be considered “ginormous”

    My son is 3 1/2 and I still change in front of him. Actually he pokes his head into the shower almost every morning to tell me all about his dreams and feed me some of his cheerios that he is snacking on. I have been wondering when I need to lock the door and tell him “Mommy needs privacy”. He has only asked about my breast once and he knows that girls don’t have a penis and boys do so there has never been a question as to where mine is or what my parts are called. Guess it all depends in the child and how you feel about being naked in front of them. I figure before kindergarten will work for us…no need for him to go into school telling kids anything about my body.

  • carina klunder

    Dear Tori, I don’t have anything to be ashamed of, you look so good. I have 4 kids, and we are really open here, we change and take shower in front of them. One of my kids are soon 8 and a boy, we used to take shower together sometimes, but after he turned 6

  • victoria silva

    I feel 3 to 4 should be the cut off for young boys…seeing their mom naked… and young girls the same age for dad.

    You teach them respect and privicy for their bodies and to give that to others as well… which teaches boundaries… and is emotionally healthy…which is what we want as parents.

    hugs

    Victoria Silva

  • Linda Larson

    I always changed in front of my daughter and even my nephews (when they were younger because I would take care of them a lot) I didn’t think anything about it until one day when I changed in front of my oldest nephew (at the time he was around six) and I took my robe off to put on something else and his eyes got real big and he let out a shriek and yelled “Oh man”!! and ran out of the room. It was then that I realized that those days were over. I had just never thought about it like that because it was always just so natural. He was like my own child!!

  • Karin Zorn

    HAHA that is too funny. Just what you want to hear after just having a baby a month ago right. I grew up with my mom always changing in front of me. To this day she has no problem doing it which is why i’m not shy with changing in front of my 3 year old daughter. But I will say the comments she has made before are hilarious. “Ew what’s that?” pointing to my boobs. Or “Look at that booty” as she spanks my butt. I think its only natural to change in front of your children but I do think there comes a point when changing in front of your child who is the opposite sex has to stop. I have no idea what age that should be since I only have a daughter. But you just have to laugh at it because kids are brutally honest and will not hold back anything.

  • Coleen Lette

    Yep I would say it is time to stop changing in front of him!!!

  • Carolyn Roberson

    Well, I would say, now would be a good time to stop changing in front of him. It makes him uncomfortable. Modesty is the best policy in this case. And, you are NOT ginormous! Hattie is beautiful as are your other two. Blessings to you, Dean and your children on this day.

  • Ketakii Martin

    4 is about the same age I stopped changing infront of my boys. They aren’t modest, one still runs around in his tidy whiteys all day if I let him. But I like changing without the kids in the room, gives me a moment of quiet before I head back out to take care of all four of them :) And I have gotten the same comments after I had my daughter this past year….my youngest thinks he is a comedian! ;)

  • Alyssa Aguirre

    My daughter is only 16 months. When she sees me naked she smiles, points and says “butt” we have realized she might be too old to be seeing us change in front of her. It is important that we teach our daughter modesty and that you should cover your body in front of people so by not doing so I feel like we are contradicting ourselves. My lil girl is growing up too fast!

  • Unique Funktionz

    Hey Tori! First of all just wanted to say how AMAZING you guys are to let us into your world. I absolutely LOVE the way you and your husband do life (as busy & as hectic as it is), you do it well, and you are ALL an inspiration to me!!

    My husband and I have 5 children, their ages are 18, 15, 8, 5 & 3yrs old. Our eldest 2 are boys and our youngest 3 are girls. I still get undressed in front of my 15yr old son. I could be in the shower and all my kids will walk in to ask me questions while I’m showering or even when I’m on the toilet. I know it sounds really weird, but I love the way that they still feel comfortable enough to be able to come to me even when I’m in the shower or on the toilet. We’ve always been very open with our children, but always reminding them that their body is theirs and not anybody elses! My children do cringe at me sometimes when I’m dressing in front of them, (because I’m not as small as you), but I kindly remind that I’ve given birth to 6 beautiful children (1 stillborn) and this is the body that carried them. I love my kids to death, but I wont stop getting dressed or undressed in front of them, because that is who I am, and if they dont like it, they can go to their own room and get dressed lol! Both my husband and I love our kids, and being open is one way of staying connected & brings that family ‘togetherness’. I’m from New Zealand but live in Australia, so not sure if you’ve heard much about New Zealand Maori Girls, but the majority of us have a ‘what you see is what you get’ policy. Not sure how to put it delicately lol. Anyways, many blessing to your family! I’m sure Liam will come round, he’s young & open and thats what you want in kids….an open door policy! Its when they’re not saying anything, thats when you should be worrying!! xoxo

  • Melissa Fischer

    I saw your sweet family in US Weekly magazine, and the nursery was adorable! I hope you recieved the tree limb mobile and hot pink birds I sent you…. it was such a fun piece to make! One thing is for certain, Hattie was gorgeous! Congratulations!

    Melissa

  • Tiffani DeWitt

    I have a 4 year old as well and I have decided it’s time to stop changing in front of him but for the opposite reason. He is getting a little too interested in seeing me in the buff. I have no problem with the human body or changing in front of your children..until they start demanding to be in the room when youchange. That is where I draw the line. Makes me feel creepy and gross. So now I lock my door when I change.

  • Kristin E. E

    OMG-That picture is the funniest ever! Love the way you dare to present yourself in the most self-ironic way.

    I have no trouble being naked in front of my kids. The eldest is 4 yrs in a month. But I cover up when he looks like he is about to make a comment… I don’t mind hearing it myself, but Im not to keen on being the topic of conversation in the kindergarden.

  • Kristin E. E

    … I forgot to comment on Liams comment. That’s just as funny as you butt picture. LOL.

  • Becca Miller

    ok my daughter is 5 1/2 and i still change in front of her…sometimes she tells me im jiggly or fat but still beautiful…and sometimes she cracks jokes and is all “ewwie” about my butt or boobies…and i have asked her do you want mommy to not let you see me naked?and she has always told me she wasjus teasing…i really think it depends on the child and their comfort levels and ability to handle it accordingly.and remember kids say the darndest things…

  • Amber Wright

    My son is 4 and my daughter is 2 and she doesnt seem to have a problem with being in the room. While i am changing but my son if he sees my pregnant belly hes always telling me that im getting fatter, and hes like u need to cover your boobies mom, even if i have a bra on so I think 4 is when they are realizing they have different stuff then us and they get embarrased to see it on other people. Good Luck Im in the same Boat!smiley-laughing.gif

  • homemoma

    Lol

    i guess it depends how kid is used to. i do not change in front of my kid (i may run around in my underwear looking for clothes, but never naked). he also changes in bathroom and has no problem running around in his undies. at the same time we have no problem going to sauna naked together. but i doubt that he has ever seen his dad naked (dad hates sauna and never goes there, so it is my business to get the kid clean)

  • Lemon Meringue

    Complete recognition over here, my kids tend to share their most confrontational opinions over my body while I am in my Eve’s costume. I quote my 9 year old son:”Hey mum, do you know your butt looks like Jello-pudding when you walk?!” And then rushes away to get his younger siblings: “Look what mummy can do, look at her behind! Can we look what happens when you jump?” At that point I pushed them all out of the bathroom, because I felt uncomfortable. But I think as long as everybody is comfortable with it, it’s fine. I think they will let me know when they are not okay with it anymore, I invest a lot of time in teaching them to be open and respectful to eachother but also to be respectful to their own feelings. I hope this also comes in handy in situations like this. And for the time being: enjoy and have fun! And you certainly are brave to bring in that picture into this conversation!

  • Brandie Thompson

    My stepson is 4. He will be turning 5 in January and I stopped letting him take showers with me or see me change clothes awhile back. He has asked me several times since why hes not allowed to come in the bathroom with me or in the room when I change, I just tell him Boys dont see girls with no clothes on and hes catching on but I just found out his mother still lets him see her and tht is her decision but I think its inapproprate and he’s def. too old. Thats our rule here now.

  • Nadine Isenberg

    All my kids did that at different ages. But the first 2 are daughters so it took a little long. My son on the other hand once his love for my breast left and went to football/soccer and basket ball was at about 4/5. He would walk into my room and tell me to get dressed and I would tell him it was my room and I could do what I wanted. I sounded so childish it made me laugh and him stomp away. Mom 1, Tre 0.

  • Jennifer Maze-Hennig

    I don’t think the same sex matters but for the opposit sex i think three should be the cutoff.

  • christina owen

    I think for a lot of people it depends oh how they were raised and they want to raise their kids. I grew up with a german mother and lots of german relatives where nudity was/is a non issue. I bathed with my siblings, showered with my parents (it was a very large shower) and it was just natural. We always left our bedroom doors open when we changed, not to prove some point, we just weren’t conscience of it, or felt the need to cover up. It wasn’t until I hit puberty that I felt more subconscience of my body and wanted a bit more privacy. There was never anything sexual about the nudity in my family either, we are/were a very conservative christian family where sex before marriage was looked down upon. I know this totally shatters stereotypes, but its true. As a mother of a 4 year old girl and 6 year old boy. They’re allowed to be naked in the house, if they’re out of the shower, and want to be silly for a bit. And I don’t make them feel uncomfortable about seeing me or my husband if either of us are changing. If they commented on the jiggliness of my parts, which hasnt happened yet, i’d tell them that all bodies are different and beautiful. And if my son commented on how large my but was, I would talk to him about how all behinds are different sizes, and don’t have to look like what we see on tv. Physically nudity at home in a safe environmet can teach your chldren to be comfortable with their bodies and accept theirs just the way they are. And me defending my butt, lumps and all, sets an example for them, that I can love my body lumps and all. Just sharing another point of view.

  • Kelly Libengood

    With my daughter I always dressed or undressed, gone to the bathroom..ect ect in front of her. She’s 20 now, and she says it’s never been an issue. I’ve always been “mom” so she never saw anything but that. I now have more children (4 and 2 yrs) and I still dress/undress, go potty, in front of them.

    My 4 yr old wanted to know why I wipe and don’t have a penis. I think it’s natural curiosity that’s best explained by me as a live real person rather than a book which can often cause confustion. I do feel there is a limit to how long this should happen, and since he’s started preschool, there needs to be boundaries set so not to intrude on other’s personal parts and space and I feel this should be started at home. I have begun to ask him to wait for mommy to get dressed before asking me questions or being in the room with me, but I don’t yell at him to get out. If it’s that pressing to him, I allow him to stay. Small steps so as to not freak him out or have him thinking that the body is “naughty” or bad, but rather personal and private and an amazing work of God.

  • Ann Morgan

    My daughter is 3 and I don’t think I will ever care about changing in front of her. My Godson is 2 but I think at about 4 I will be a little more careful in front if him! I love him but we have different stuff and how can I tell him not to look at other women/girls if he is allowed to see me change. I just think after 4yrs old they should only see the parent of the same gender. Not that is weird just that you have to teach them what is ok and not ok to do when around others, and at that age they tend to tell complete strangers things you don’t want them to here like Mommy has a big butt! lol

  • Pita

    This topic comes up at work every so often, my kids always saw me anatural and they never made a comment (anyone with kids knows you never have alone time, someone is always following you). As they grew up they just stopped coming into my room if they thought I was changing, I never really noticed at what age, they are teenagers now and still have no problem standing outside the bathroom door and having a conversation with me. Kids are great, enjoy them, they grow up too fast.

  • Kerry Radecki

    My 14 yr old now finds my nudity rather interesting as she does not have the saggy skin and cellulite yet (just wait!). She babysits twin girls who are six and they always yell out “don’t look” when she is bathing them — hilarious!