I was very busy last Monday welcoming my daughter Hattie Margaret to the world. So, when I finally got to watch episode 6 of RHOBH on my DVR, I realized episode 7 was about to air. So I decided to just give a beat sheet and thoughts on episode 6, then get right into episode 7.

Episode 6

Lisa is very busy cooking for dinner “tomorrow” night for her kids and Pandora’s boyfriend’s parents, yet is making potato salad. Yeah, that’s a complicated dish that needs to be prepped a day in advance.

Then, Taylor is baking cookies and invites Dana over to help, although she never helps. Instead they “recap” what happened drama-wise at Adrienne’s BBQ. They dish back and forth while still seemingly trying to be a bit PC. But come on! It’s COCK Dana…COCK. No children around, no need to spell.

Adrienne and Kyle then meet for lunch. And, again dish on the other housewives. We get it by now…no one likes Brandi. Adrienne always tries to be diplomatic. Kyle, not so much. Gotta take Brandi’s side though on her kid whipping it out and peeing on Adrienne’s lawn. He’s a little boy. It happens. I remember Easter Weekend, Liam whipping it out and peeing on the lawn surrounding the pool at The Parker hotel in Palm Springs. Did I reprimand? No. In fact, after I laughed out loud, I proceeded to take a picture. Over age of five, not so funny. Five and under…hilarious.

Shocker, another scene involving prepared foods and recapping the housewife drama. This time it’s between Brandi and Adrienne. Talk about ladies who lunch. I feel like the producers say to the cast…pick a restaurant, come, and we’ll feed you while you take the viewers step-by-step through what happened on last week’s episode. Then we’ll edit it to make it seem like everyone hates each other more than they actually do.

Game Night begins. Dana is hosting and she welcomes Kyle frothing at the mouth to tell her she’s wearing Valentino. Then proceeds to assault Brandi with her label-whoring mouth. Then, in case anyone in the room, or across America, didn’t know she wears designer clothes, she makes it clear she can barely walk in her Fendi shoes. I’m sure she can barely sit in her Givenchy G-String too.

Kyle starts the evening off proving she can play the villainess like no other, by making a point of not helping an invalid down the stairs. Yeah, I’m jealous of Brandi’s tight ass and long legs too, but I’d still help her down the stairs.

Slowly, the other housewives enter Game Night, excluding Lisa and then Adrienne, who leaves Brandi stranded at the Drive-In where they are apparently screening Mean Girls circa 2004.

I’m a little surprised that Dana calls herself a party planner and says she’s going all out, and then has the most half-assed, watered down Game Night I’ve ever seen. In my new party planning book CelebraTORI, in stores April 3, 2012, I do a whole chapter on how to throw an amazing Game Night party. Shameless plug, but Dana, take notice!

And FYI, you can’t throw a dessert and alcohol-only party that starts before the sun sets, which indicates day to night, aka dinner time! Emily Post would be very disappointed at that, and your constant need to designer name-drop. Manners are everything, Dana!

Of course, Kim enters last and is again a hot mess. She’s like “drunk girl” from the old SNL sketches, yet doesn’t seem to be drinking. She calls Dana the wrong name, which I’m sure Dana wouldn’t have minded if it had been Chloe, but instead it’s Pam. Then proceeds to use the bathroom 15 times, each time carrying a weekender-size bag in screaming hot pink with her (way to be on the DL), and pretending to obsessively fix her makeup each time. She makes sure to make an on-camera disclaimer to Kyle about her erratic behavior, blaming it on anxiety attacks. Sorry, we aren’t buying it, and I don’t think Kyle was either.

They show Lisa’s dinner party as we fast-forward (love DVR) to get back to Fangs Night…I mean Game Night…but not before we see Lisa enter with a tray of apps saying “something I prepared earlier,” aka something I prepared yesterday for a scene for the show. It’s now a day old, so eat at your own risk. Oh, and Pandora is engaged. Only thing that interested me about this scene is wondering what Giggy would wear at the wedding as the ring bearer.

Kim goes from slightly oddball to challenging Kyle for Queen of Mean, talking very loudly and meanly about Brandi right next to her. Goes on and on about not wanting her on her team for Game Night. It was beyond high school, and I honestly thought Brandi handled it all very well and with a lot of class. Wow, did I just give Brandi props for class?

As gaming progresses, so does the mean factor. Kyle jumps on board ganging up on Brandi, then out of nowhere, Dana does too and starts making comments out loud, basically screaming “Kyle look at me, I hate her too! Can I be a part of your club now? Please Kyle, please like me!” I found the whole situation kind of disgusting – that grown women would act this callous. It was disturbing. And made me realize why the majority of my friends are gay men.

Bottom line: I switched teams this week, and became part of Team Glanville. Now, let’s get into episode 7, as Game Night continues and drug
accusations fly…

Episode 7

Game Night part deux turns into Shame (on you) Night. WTF is going on? This fight escalates to the point of no return and then almost turns into a Beverly Hills Brawl. Good thing waif-like Taylor jumps in between Brandi and the ladies. Yeah, she would have been able to stop it. I was in utter shock and have to admit I turned into that TV viewer…shouting at the TV, newborn on my boob, and my 4-year-old sitting next to me saying, “Mommy who are you mad at? Wasn’t that girl with dark hair at the baby’s shower?”

He’s right. I’m friends with Kyle Richards and have known her and Kim since I was little. So, disclaimer here…Kyle is a really great person. A nice, down-to-earth, funny, and loving mommy. But, I can’t make excuses for her treatment of Brandi. All I can think is words and actions get heightened when cameras are turned on and it was edited so we all truly won’t know exactly what went down. But, bottom line is, I felt really bad for Brandi. And, she was on crutches. I have to assume that if not, she would have high-tailed her 6-inch wedges out of the lion’s den. Should she have accused Kim in front of the group of doing crystal meth? No. But, she felt super attacked and just went there. They did call her trailer park, no class, pig, and then hid her crutches. Girlfriend was entitled to retaliate a bit, don’t you think?

Everyone went way below the belt, but who went too far? Are you on Team Glanville or Team Richards? And, then there’s wannabe Dana piping in her two cents “We are from Beverly Hills. We live our life. We do our thing”. Oh, ok Dana. Now we are all clear as to why this is happening…Twilight Zone! And in case they didn’t hear it 50 times, Dana really wants to vacation with the ladies in Hawaii.

Next up, an impromptu lunch at Lisa’s with Kyle and Adrienne. Clearly a scene set up by producers as a device to hear Adrienne and Lisa’s take on the escapades that occurred at the Game Night they missed. And, through the eyes of Kyle. She recounts how Brandi played the game Celebrity and thought Winston Churchill was a famous black man. Which was a very funny goof. Lisa says Brandi was drowning in bimbo soup and calls her a bitch. Lisa please…you weren’t there, so go back to making potato salad for your next formal shindig. And as usual Adrienne stays neutral.

Oh good, a restaurant scene with Taylor and Brandi is up next. Was beginning to worry since we were almost halfway through the episode without a lunch at a cafe scene. Note to producers…there are other seemingly organic ways to get the ladies together to diss each other. Try a mani/pedi salon or go balls to the wall, and have them get together for a casual game of lawn bowling. Bottom line…mix it up! I’d honestly rather see them shopping than pretending to eat in every scene. Brandi and Taylor proceed to recount game night and how Brandi feels about what happened. Taylor encourages Brandi to talk to Kyle, the head Heather.

The Heathers aka The Richards are off to Palm Springs for a family vacation. Maybe to brush each other’s hair and dish on Brandi some more.

Meanwhile, Lisa meets with wedding planner Kevin Lee to discuss Pandora’s wedding. If you watched my wedding show “Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings,” Lee looks familiar. He was the florist who couldn’t grasp what color coral was. He is highly entertaining though. Funny enough, Lisa makes a comment about him being the “Asian version of Father of the Bride“. She’s referring to Martin Short’s character In the Steve Martin movie Father of the Bride. Funny enough Lisa, I have the inside scoop that the hilarious character in that movie was actually based on Kevin Lee! So good call.

Anyway, Kevin is good TV, so please bring him back. He and Lisa should have some funny butting heads throughout this wedding planning process.

What would an RHOBH episode be without a charity event? It is nice to see the ladies giving back. All the ladies and Brandi are seated at the same table at Camille’s event. Everyone ignores Brandi and finally Lisa breaks the silence and asks Brandi where she lives, but oddly never follows it up after Brandi answers. Awkward. They can’t go on not talking at all, so I can’t wait to see who breaks the silence first and what ensues. Who do you think is gonna be the bigger person? Looks like next week will be one very un-relaxing spa day party! Wonder if there will be any mud (masque) slinging?

Who do you think will break the ice first in next week’s episode?

Previously on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”

Episode 5: How Rude!
Episode 4: The Claws Come Out
Episode 3: Meltdowns and Moguls
Episode 2: Bev Hills Ski Bunnies
Episode 1: Meet the Housewives

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